Repeat Pre-K or Start Kindergarten - Worried About His Maturity at High School??

He is ready- why hold him back, and ruin his love of learning, and have him be bored?
Keep him challenged.
best, k

If he's ready to move on, then let him. Why bore the poor little guy out of liking to learn by repeating everything he already knows?

I have a June 19th, girl. She is in 11th now and I wish she were in 10th. High school stuff is just wayyyy out of control. Her freinds are now between the ages of 17-19. I sent her to K being a young 5. I should have, in retrospect held her out to be one of the oldest. When the other kids started doing things becasue they were older, she wanted to do them too even though she was almost a yr younger then some. Think clearly and forget about the academic part. That means NOTHING!!!! It's all about the social and being accepted for who lost a tooth and who can tie their shoes, ride a bike, and go to the mall without a parent............

As a kindergarten teacher, I would recommend that you have him wait another year. I have seen many very smart kids young kids come to k., but the maturity becomes an issue. I can teach kids academics, but I cannot teach them how to be more mature. It takes time and every child matures at their own rate. A lack of maturity causes frustration and stress for the child, and can often turn them off to school. Not a good way to start an academic career.

Lack of maturity tends to remain a problem in later grades. The other children sense the differences and don't play with the immature child in the same way. I have seen many children become outcasts because they are not socially and emotionally in the same place as the other children.

I would recommend that you find another preK program that can offer different activities. Find ways to encourage his interests and keep the love of learning going. Perhaps that year of growth will save him in the long run.
I have never had a parent be sorry that they waited, but I have had a few that were sorry that they didn't.

It's a hard choice, but think about what will be best in the long run, not just for right now. Good luck!!

If he is ready now and has been since November why would you hold him back. He will be a terror because he will be so bored. Send him on now. Everything will be new and exciting, sure he will be younger but maybe in 7th grade he will be one of the more mature ones, if there are any. :o)

Look for more enriching clubs and camps for him. Teach him Chess and GO. Get him involved in the Space Program in Huntsvile, AL. THey have to be in 4th, I think that's the youngest. Search out these programs now so you are ready when it comes time to send him.

Send him to kindergarden-I'm sure he'll mature a lot before he walks down the aisle.

My son's birthday is aug 24th. Our school cut off is also Sept 1st. He turned 5 during his 2nd week of kindergarten. The 3rd week of kindergarten, one of his classmates turned 6. By now, the majority of his class is 6 and he will not turn 6 until he starts 1st grade. I NEVER entertained the idea of holding him back just because of his birthday or age. He academically was totally ready and has done amazing (even better than i expected!). He is reading, adding, subtracting, telling time.... so many things that i didnt't expect him to fully know untill 1st grade. His behavior in the beginning was somewhat questionable. He didnt get into trouble in class, he just had a rough time with concentration. But, the teacher and I kept a close eye on it and as time passed he too matured in that area. My personal oppinion is, why force him to fail at something when he could very well excell beyond your expectation? If he gets through kindergarten and you and the teachers agreet that his maturity arent up to par to begin 1st grade, make that call then, but dont hold him based soley on his age!

IQ tests, as far as I know, are totally unreliable at this age. However, that doesn't mean that your child isn't super bright...he probably is! :)

I really don't think entering K a year older will have much bearing on his maturity in high school...you are worrying about a nonexistent issue!! :) Boys in general are not mature in middle or high school anyhow...really, what's a few months difference going to make?

If he's mastered pre-K, then it would be stifling for him to repeat it. However, it's possible he may not be emotionally ready for K yet...will he go to all day K? Daycare, etc? Those are more what you should be concerned with, I think.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your husband/his father when he starts school. At least in my state, they don't technically have to start until the year they turn seven...and I know a few families who actually waited that long, because they were worried about maturity. I think that's waiting TOO long. But waiting until he's six? That's okay, if you decide that would be best...but then, remember, he will be "older" than most of the other kids, potentially, will eventually be "bigger" than the kids, and if you put it your way, he might be MORE mature than his friends, then...I don't think that would be any easier or better on him.

I guess if it were me, I'd start shopping for school!! :) Congratulations!

I wouldn't have him repeat what he's already done. He sounds ready for Kindergarten.

If you feel maturity is an issue, do him a favor and keep him back. Maturity
is such a big issue and will carry thru his whole school career.

my son turns 5 july 31st. i'm concerned about his adjustment, and his maturity a little (he's the youngest in his VPK class), however, i feel that putting him with younger children migh hinder his getting more mature and dealing with things as they come. my kindergarden teacher tried to hold me back because they said i was too immature, but my mother wouldn't let them, and i was extremely well adjusted and more mature than a lot of my highschool class.

Make the decision that's best for the kid he is TODAY.

Really, if we start "predicting" what their maturity levels will be 13 years from now, why not also chart their course for their college major and the type of spouse they're bound to desire?

FWIW, my eldest was an August baby. He had 5 other August babies in his kindergarten class. He was still bored.
Today, he's going on 13, and towers over all of his same-aged peers. He's much more emotionally mature than they are in some aspects, and much less in others. If he wasn't homeschooled, I suppose I'd have to cut him in half and send each piece to a different grade. ;-)

I guess the question is what do you mean by him being immature? He is not yet 5...how do you even tell or gauge maturity at this age? I am raising (my youngest boy is 5) and have helped raise 6 boys so far and they are all very silly at this age! What makes you concerned about his maturity level? Awkward with the other kids, stuff like that or still very attached to mommy/daddy?

I would probably let him start K when he is supposed to and embrace his love for learning while you can....but I am still un-clear about your reasoning about him being immature so I am not sure I can answer you properly? Some examples about why you are concerned might help a bit?

I would be worried that if he goes to PreK again, he will get bored.

My son makes the K cut by four days this year, and I will send him. Two years ago, mothers were trying to scare me into holding him back a year. Two years ago!!!! Kids change so much in six months, how in the world could I gauge his maturity two years into the future?

My son has been in preschool for three years now, to send him a fourth would be a disservice to both him and his classmates. I would MUCH rather have him repeat Kindergarten if necessary, than do another year of pre-K. If he does need to repeat, we will know the exact skills he needs to reinforce. Our elementary school handles repeating Kindergarten extremely well. There is no stigma attached.

That being said, worrying about friends that might be six months or a year older seems a bit extreme. If he plays sports or joins an academic club, there will be students of varying ages included. I assume you are not going to limit him to friends of his exact age, so what's the worry? If as a freshman or sophomore he makes a Varsity sport team, are you going to hold him back because because the kids are older? If he continues to be as bright as he seems, are you going to hold him back from other advanced academic activities because there are older kids present? Something to think about.

I really think you're over thinking this. If he is ready to go, send him! My brother's birthday is the end of August. He was always one of the youngest in his class. He was also one of the most mature kids in his class. Being youngest does not necessarily mean least mature.

I'd let him repeat pre k. I wish I had done that for my son. He is in middle school now, and is very immature, and way behind the other kids. I always thought if I'd have held him back then that would have been better.

Yes I'd say a montissori would probably be the best place for him. That Virginia something or other montessori in Fort. Laud is suppose to be great. Its a magnet so you need to make sure you sign up early in hopes to get him in.

Someone told me, if you have any reservation at all about sending him, DON'T SEND HIM. We were in this situation with our son and we gave him an extra year of pre-K. We switched schools to a more "rigorous" program, so he had different material to learn, different situations, different teachers, etc. The first program he was in was basic; this years' is more advanced. He is reading. I can see a definite difference in his work, his maturity, his socialization, his leadership ability. I AM EXTREMELY GLAD I HAVE HIM THE GIFT OF "TIME". He will be pushed and pushed and pushed in school and in life, why shouldn't I give him the luxury of an extra year of fun. Besides, I didn't have to worry about my son "acting up". He is a total boy, but he is very proud that he has NEVER been put in time out. He is a good kid. If your son doesn't have behavioral issues, he'll be fine. Everyone stresses about them being bored - well, my son is never bored when he's with his buddies and having fun and socializing! I know it is a hard decision. But I know we made the right decision for our son. I have never heard of anyone saying they regretted holding them back, but many regret sending them. I'm not saying your son isn't smart, but everyone thinks their child is "special" and they'll be "bored" because they are just so smart. Pre-K is more about FUN, than it is about learning!

I am in your same boat. My son is much younger (21 months)...but I am planning to hold him back. He is very bright for his age (his sister also just scored a genius IQ)...so I completely understand the view of academics...but I am more concerned with him being in high school..and just being that little bit more mature...to hopefully make better decisions in terms of peer pressure. My son is also petite..so I don't want him to be the youngest (August 30th bday) and the smallest. My mother in law is a therapist, who focuses her work on children, and she strongly has encouraged me to keep my son back. I like the idea someone gave you of trying him in a montessori for a year....let him repeat pre-k 4 with a different slant. Good luck!

S.,

My 8 year old sons birthday is sept 1, so I know how you feel. I didn't hold him back. I started him when he turned 5. Although I found out in first grade he has ADHD I wouldn't change a thing. He is doing very well. He is now in 4th grade in going well. Had I held him back he would have gotten bored with the work, like your son he has a very high iq. I would suggest letting him start now and see what happens throughout the year and then decide, I see no reason to hold him back if he loves to learn.

Good luck.

S.

I actually just discussed this with my daughter's VPK teacher. It is better for him to repeat Kindergarten than to repeat VPK. If he is ready NOW, send him. Holding him back may end up putting him in a position where he acts up because he already knows the VPK materials. Also, My best friend and my mother-in-law are both teachers and they strongly urge AGAINST holding a child back based on age.

You didn't actually say that he IS immature or socially or emotionally behind.
You said, that "I worry about his maturity...."
To me, there is a difference.

So is he immature or has social/emotional immaturity problems, or is he not?

As a Mom, we always worry about that aspect.
But we would know, if our child was socially AND emotionally... immature or not.

Then based on that, with your gut instinct and radar about your child... do what is best, for him.

Academic IQ, is separate from emotional/social maturity.
But it is the social/emotional aspects of a child, that creates good experiences & memories (bad or good) and positive or negative enjoyment, about school and their friends. Not their IQ.

So think about that.

Don't get too hung-up or place all decision, on IQ. That is just 1 aspect, of a child's overall, growth. Or not.
It is about becoming, a well-rounded person.
And about... how you teach him about people/friends/socializing/making good choices about social situations/and friends.

And besides, many schools have "gifted & talented" programs. So even if you have him repeat.... he can probably, once in Kinder, qualify to be in that program. Hence, he will be getting, both aspects and addressing both your concerns. ie: Being in Kinder per his 'immaturity' concern, and able to be in a gifted and talented program, per his IQ or academic ability. Too.

Go with your gut instinct.

All the best,
Susan

Only you know as a mom....but from me a Kinder teacher it sounds like he is ready. I know it is a hard choice but you dont want him to be academically board either. The first year may be a little hard socially it usually is for ALL boys :) but its much better by the year end. Just focus on keeping him CONFIDENT....that is the KEY!!!!

Go with your gut. It sounds like he is a smart cookie. I think if you held him back, it might backfire - he'd be bored, and might act out or make trouble.

I say go for kindergarten. He will be so bored in a pre-k program that he mastered in the first three months. You can't make all your decisions based on what he may or may not be like in 10 years.. My son is a late birthday like yours and our pre-k teacher told us to send him and that he won't get much out of repeating.

Send him to Kindergarden. He will be bored in PreK and start acting up. Age doesnt always determine maturity.

my little boy's only 2.5 yrs old but i've heard that it's OK & sometimes beneficial to hold 'em back that one year, esp for boys. my kindergarten teacher friend told me that. his bday's ON THE CUT OFF DAY, i mean, if it were one day past, he wouldn't be going to kindergarten anyway, right? idk, sounds like your mama gut's telling you to hold him back. i mean, it's not like it's *embarassing* to be held back in pre-K like it is to be held back in jr high or high school.
i think he'd probably do fine maturity-wise if you didn't hold him back b/c things do just naturally work out, but...idk mama, hard call.
i was also curious on your examples of immaturity were though. big decision. whatever decision you make WILL be the right one! :)

The age is just a number. The school district has to come up with a date that is the cut off - when I was in kindergarten, the date was 11/30 (my bday is 9/13). I moved to Broward County from Northern VA (near DC) and the date there was 9/30. My son's bday is 8/26 and he will go to kindergarten. If he needs to be held back later - we will think about it then. If your son is enjoying school loves to learn and is doing well, you would be foolish to hold him back this year. I honestly don't know why you are even considering holding him back in VPK unless YOU are not ready since you admit his teacher says he is ready and you know that HE is ready.

Good luck!

My daughter and, both labeled "gifted" both just made the kindergarten cutoff. I was four when I started, she had been five for a month.

I would say that it only worked for me and, now for her, because we were lucky enough to be in very small schools that made allowances for the high intelligence/immaturity. For example, I never finished my work on time, ever, until second grade. I talked too much! But no one ever made me feel bad.
Last year, when my daughter was in kindergarten, her teacher told me that because DD is tall and articulate, the teacher had to remind herself that she's a YEAR younger than some classmates when she did things like reversed letters. Normal in a five year old, not in a six year old.

My own experience in high school was that I was always a bit behind, but I didn't mind. I think I actually skipped a lot of foolishness that way!

All that being said, I feel boys are different. It's a known fact that traditional schooling is harder for them--sitting still and listening is a biological challenge for them until 3-4th grade. Even if my son didn't just MISS the cutoff, I'd start him a year older than my daughter. He's just as bright, but he's more physical and traditional school settings don't allow for that. However, that is one of the things Montessori excells at--as PPs mentioned!

HTH!

As a former kindergarten teacher and someone who started kindergarten at age 4, I think you should definitely wait another year to send him to kindergarten! I saw many kids struggle socially, and it seemed those children always had summer birthdays. If you let him be the oldest in his class, he'll have every possible advantage going forward. He'll be bigger, smarter, more mature... he'll appreciate all those advantages you can give him. Starting kindergarten at age 4 myself, I never struggled academically, but I think the social aspect of school is so important, and I would have been much more confident and secure had I been more mature. What an extra year would have done for me! Even starting college at age 17, I felt so out of my league and unprepared to deal with the issues a college student faces. I planned to get pregnant each time with my own kids after the start of the new year and was lucky enough to get pregnant right away. Two of my kids were born in October and one in November, so they will be the oldest in their classes. If they'd had summer birthdays though, I would have definitely held them back a year, regardless of where they were academically at age 4!

HI My 15 year old's birthday is November and he was 4 when he started. Our schools don't start kids in the gifted program until 4th grade which I thought was great. He had issues on how fast he completed work in K-5th grade but in 6th grade something clicked and he started working more independently.
He was very quiet and shy. Now he is in 10th grade on the honor roll has a 4.3 GPA and all his friends hang out here. Some are 16 not driving but with a permit and some are still 15 but he is not immature at all. He did not have a hard time with the other kids in Junior high and is well liked in high school. I also made the rule of no dating or girlfriends until he was 16. Because the girls will definitely be more mature. It is up to you but my son was very reserved and mature when he started Kindergarten. I helped him and we had a great relationship where we would sit everyday and go over what was needed to be done and I read to him a lot and he loved puzzles, legos and kinex. Good luck:)

My youngest has an oct birthday (cut off here is in dec). He is literally the youngest kid in his class this year and was almost the youngest last year. But there are several other kids who are only weeks older then he is. Most of the kids in this area are held back fore kindergarden so often there are kids who are a year older then he is! (Lots of parents "red shirt" for kindergarden in this area.)

That said... yes he's a bit immature, but nothing more then the ADD/ADHD kids (and yes i have one of those too!). Academically he's on par with the rest of the class, and easily gets bored on occasion. But he gets along with everyone and does what he needs to do at school.

I have a late august bday and entered into school as the youngest in my class (Tx with sept cut off). I did fine even though i was very shy and had been in preschool/daycare most of my younger years. I was only held back in the first grade when I was officially diagnosed with dyslexia and needed an extra year help to catch up with reading. Otherwise i would have been fine. In HS I turned 18 the at the start of my senior year, and ended up cutting classes a couple times because I could legally write my own notes, I was also one of the oldest kids in my class.

Our son was turning 5 in June and we sent him on to K but then changed schools and held him back. He was too young to move on from there and we knew that it would be harder in Middle and High and then College always being a year younger. He was smart enough but was not mature or focused enough. holding him back gave him an extra year to work on the skills of reading, writing, etc he is now top of his class instead of being middle of the road. He will graduate high school at 18 instead of 17. I was always a year younger and was always friends with the grade below me, started college at 17 which was too young. Always the youngest and last to start my monthly, last to be able to go to parties, last to get driver's license, etc it was hard on me. every teacher I talk to say that you will never regret holding your child back and having them be older. You could put him in a different prek program so he has different things to learn. or you talk to the director/princ and say that you want him to be pushed and to learn different things. as far as being gifted, you never want him to be bored b/c that causes a whole slew of other issues. always keep him pushed and beyond. good luck

I have worked with children in this age group for many years, and have had many parents face similar decisions. Boys especially really do benefit from an extra year to mature. Think of it this way, would you rather him be the oldest in his class, or the youngest? And before you think child prodigy and Doogie Howser, think, 'who's going to get picked on?'. I'm not saying that every child that goes to K young will be bullied, I'm just saying that a younger child is more likely to be picked on that an older one, because an older child will have more experience and be able to hold his own more.

I've seen many parents who's attitude has been, 'Well, my child is smart enough, he can handle the work, so I want him to go', but it never has anything to do with that. They are all always ready for kindergarten work, it's the social emotional things they need to work on more.

I hope that helps, it's sort of a pared down version of my usual speech on this topic. :)

My son is an older kid in 4th grade with a December birthday. Some of the kids in his class won't turn his age until fall. He talks about how young they are. I'm not an expect here, but would say to let him go into K and then have him repeat if necessary. If there is ever a chance you might move, you could always hold him back them. I was a young one, born just days after the cutoff. I really would have done better socially in the grade below me even though I was an advanced kid academically. The academics caught up with me a little in high school and I think I would have done better then too.

Hold him back. You will be glad you did.
My son - now 18 and a high school senior - is also a fall baby. The best thing I did was to hold him back. He is older than some of the kids in his class, but he is socially in the right place.
My son is also bright, but honestly -- it all evens out in the end. If they are bright, they continue to be bright and are tracked to the higher level classes.
Some things came easier to him because he was a little older, but that's okay, isn't it? He has friends. He is involved in school activities. He is far more confident than he would have been if I had pushed him. He is ready for the next step.
When I put him on the kindergarten bus, he was ready. When I put him on the high school bus, he was ready. As I get him packed up for college - he is ready. Better to be ready than not sure...
LBC

Happy Friday! I haven't read all of the responses however this subject really resonates with me. I have an October birthday and in the early 80's when I was going into school I could start at 4 (as I'd turn 5 in october). I was not ready as I was extremely shy and immature. My mom decided to put me in kindergarten assuming they'd hold me back. Well, they didn't recommend it and my mom (who was in her mid-20's) didn't want to go 'against the system' and went along with me proceeding. She's recently told me she second guessed herself a number of times but never held me back. Over the years I even thought myself, and even think now as an adult, that I wished I would have had one more year to mature.........
I think if you are concerned why not wait?
My son will be 5 in November and I am happy he doesn't fit the cut-off as he gets one more year of preschool and while he's extremely smart academically I know he still needs the extra yaer.
Best of luck in your decision - you'll make the right one!

I say let him try to succeed before deciding he'll fail. A lot of growth happens in Kindergarten and First grade. They enter much different stages of development and it's like their brain turns in to a sponge and they become little elementary students.

Go ahead and let him go to Kindergarten. He can always stay back later if it is absolutely necessary.

You didnt tell us about his maturity level right now. Are his motor skills as good as his academics? Does he have great social skills?

I agree with the suggestion of putting him in Kindergarten and having him do another year of that if emotional maturity is still an issue. Every child is different but I will say that my sons started pre-k at 5 (my oldest missed the cut off by 16 days) and the other at 4.5. I did notice a difference in their maturity levels. My oldest was so ready for school while his brother was ready, but not quite as much. Ultimately you have to decide what you think is best. You know your son better than anyone. Trust your gut. Good luck and do keep us posted. :-D

Our DS is in a similar boat except his was sept 10 so the decision is made for us. He is extremely advanced in so many areas, however, he definitely needs some more maturing socially.

Think of it like this. When all of his friends begin driving, he still has a year to wait. When all of the other guys begin dating he is still a year younger than his peers. When the other junior high boys' start having voice changes and ouberty begins to really take hold, he is still a year behind.

I have been told for years that the social is more important at this stage than his academics. He is doing math at a 1st grade level and just keeps teaching himself more and more. I have no idea where we'll be in a year when he does start K, but I know one thing for sure. He will be the first to do everything and THAT will build confidence like nothing else can.

One last thing, our guys are super intelligent. It's unfortunate, but that means they may be picked on later on. Why add the young age thing to it as well?

Good luck!

One idea to consider would be to put him in a different sort of pre-K which offered a different curriculum than he has currently received, such as Montessori. So he wouldn't be repeating this year's curriculum, but would still get some learning and the stimulation.

That said, I was a kid who was always 6 months behind half my class. My birthday is in late October, and the cutoff at that time was December, so I started kinder year when I was four. It was a little harder sometimes, to feel myself as one of the "youngest", but I also wouldn't let that hamper you from doing what you feel will be best. Chances are, if he has the social interaction with peers part of PreK down, and can move through the day with the teacher and group successfully, then he's probably going to do fine, and just be a bit more bored when he finally does start kindergarten.