Seeking an Opinion from Mothers with 4 or More Kids...

Best advice I EVER received regarding having kids...You will never regret having one more but you might regret not having one! I would say go for it. I am pregnant with #4 right now and can't wait to find out what we're having! Good luck.

I wouldnt have more cus it could get easier, but rather you would have the stamina and love to cover all 4 and not leave it to 'the older siblings to take over'.

M.,
We have 5 children 15,10,9,7, and 2 (I always say that she is our "are you freakin sure?" baby). Children are a blessing and I would not change a thing. What you have to realize is that more children is more children, more stuff, more appointments more little league more everything. While they are smaller, it is harder with the noise, but as they get bigger, it is more running around. The 15 year old goes away to school (wants to do exchange in Japan this year also) so he is really only "help" on holidays and part of the summer. The 10 and 9 year olds are in little league and are one the same team every OTHER year. That other year one parent misses all of the others games (mostly). Also because my husband is a baseball-aholic, the 7 year old girl is shafted during baseball season and getting three kids to three different places at the same time is hard. My husband , although I tell him it is ok with the other people, does not like it when we HAVE to depend on other parents. This does make it harder than it has to be( I am working on him in couples counseling. ) The laundry, meals, potty training, school conferences ( heaven forbid one has a problem in school - our daughter has dyslexia and is really struggling to read, then there is another appointment that we need to shuttle her to ). With all that i have said, I would not change it- except maybe getting my husband more on board with the "it takes a village " theory. We do not have a lot of family support here in SD. We have some and it is a Godsend, but I could use more. I am exhausted, have not lost all the weight from the two year old pregnancy yet and finally went back to work in FEB (we knew my husband was getting laid off). Like I said, I still wouldn't have it any other way. I love my life and would not want to lose or change the number of players.
Hope this helps, -D.

Hi M.: I have six kids age 14, 12, 8, 6, 3, and 1. I was able to space my kids out well so that was helpful. I think because of your age it's best to try for your 4th now. When that baby arrives you will definitely have your hands full. BUT, you will never regret it. Because you have the money and space those huge obstacles are taken care of. What I would recommend is perhaps some good resources to help you with managing four little kids. It's hard! But there are great books out there to help you. Ask around and see what other parents have used that have helped. For example, take a look at your approach to parenting. When I serve dinner I don't allow any complaints at all. Everyone knows that they have to be grateful for what is served and that I only serve one meal for dinner. Little things like that help to reduce complaining. And about the noise level: it's always there! When you're retired and it's quiet, you'll miss it! Anyway, God bless you.

M.,

We love four! Three was very tough because it seemed that one was always left out, or vying for our attention. When we added our fourth (adoption for all four), there was a little more noise, but it seemed to be "happier" noise. While they are all little, you will continue to be tired, but as they grow, four just seemed easier. The nice thing too is that your three are all little, so the fourth would be an addition to this group, rather than a "caboose" that would be too young to enjoy the comraderie (spelling?) of the bunch.

Have fun!
T.

Hi, my husband and I have 6 kids.... and they are each a blessing from God. Im not going to lie to you and say that its always been easy, but it has been an adventure that I would never trade for anything else. We did not plan any of our kids, but God did... and I will tell you for a fact that if God did not know that we could handle 6 kids, He would have not given us 6 kids. We are not rich, and we have not been the best parents ever compared to this worlds standards, but God knows what we go thru as parents and He has equipped us with the ability to raise our kids in His ways!!! My advise to you is to pray, if its God's will for you to have another baby, so be it... and trust Him, He will never over burden you. Jesus love you

Pray! A lot - we did and we now have 7, the seventh came as a result of much prayer (6 was hard, but of course wonderful too). God will lead you, He is - after all - the one who creates us and He's got a plan for whoever will come if you guys are willing to have another.

Hi M.!

Yes, it does! Of course there are always "those times" when things get rough, but generally as the oldest one gets older, and can be a little more helpful, things get a little easier. I've never known anyone who regretted having another child. If you're even thinking about it, go for it. If you want to space them a more you could wait for a year, but you're both young, you'd be fine. (I have five kids and had my last at 42--no worries). She is the light of our lives and we're so glad we had that last one. She starts kindergarten this year and I'm already missing her! Take care. Marti O.

Hello, My husband and I had four kids. We didn't plan on four, but, God did. When Igot pregnant the fourth time, my first reaction was, "Oh,no!" However, when I thought I was miscarrying, I was devastated. I ended up carrying our son full term and he has been such a wonderful blessing. He is now 30 years old. I wouldn't trade him for anything. He is now the father of a 2 1/2 year old stepson and a 3 week old biological daughter. The kids' mom and her family have constantly mentioned what a wonderful person/father/significant other her is. I couldn't agree more.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

For me it was...
1 was an adjustment
2 was twice the work
3 was exponential (don't get me started)
4 was a piece of cake.

My husband and I can't imagine our family any other way. With every baby added, there are more family members to love the baby.

And when anyone says "You've got your hands full" (in a negative tone), look them in the eye, smile big, and tell them "Better full than empty!"

It gets easier! :)

We always planned on 4, in spite of the fact that people told us we were crazy. Then, after two children, I had trouble getting and staying pregnant. My older 2 were 7 and 8 when #3 was born. Then it took another 4 years for #4 to be born. We've also been foster parents.

The more children in the house, we've found, the LESS they actually bicker! The worst sibling quarrels, competetive behavior and nonsense occurred when we had only two kids. Each time we've had foster kids leave, the kids mope around the house complaining that, "There's no one to play with."

Yes, scheduling can get crazy. I've had times when the kids were in 3 different schools, and I spent two years driving both my non-driving teens to their jobs, but we have NEVER regretted adding any of the kids to our family.

If you think your family isn't quite complete yet, chances are, it's not! I say, go for it. :)

Yes I raised five. Of course there is more laundry, dishes, another room to clean, homework, and everything else that will go with another child. No it wasn't easier with four, or five. It was more work. Now that they are all out of the house, my fifties have been wonderful being a grandma. Today I took two grandsons school shopping. I had my last child at 30, so I am free at last !! If you chose to have another one, you will probably be 60 before you are free to be able to do as you please. I am a widow, but my boyfriend who is 59 has a teenage daughter who just drives him crazy. I'm so glad to be done with all that when I had the energy to do so. You get slower as you get older, just a fact of life. So really think this one through. Look at the ages you both will be at the different stages of life. If you have a maid, and don't care anything about your freedom later on in life, then just go for it. I know many couples who have.

Hello M.!
If you are not sure and you are wondering - go for it!! there will be a time when it is too late to have a baby but you will never stop wondering if you should have.

I have four under nine and am tired and exhausted (lol) but I would not change anything for the world! I love my children and the dynamics such a large family brings with it.
Include them in everyday tasks to take some of the pressure off of you and you will have more time to enjoy them!!!

sincerely,
C.

This is funny...I went from 0 kids to two, and then from two kids to four this past year...(= So, as far as three being financially different I can't comment. However, I DO know that my time and attention has been stretched with four! (= And I did have my second set of twins at 37.
I am not sure if that helps at all - but good luck on making your decision soon!
A.

I had four, five years and under and 3 in diapers! Yes, a bit of a blur, but now, they're mostly grown, a married daughter, a son away and working and our "babies" (#3 & #4) are now in 11th grade...and really, I know it's going to be a sad day (and not to far into the future) when they leave home. I have just one thing to say.....we were going for #3 and then it was TWINS. That is a possibility with your age, etc. I already was in menopause at 41...so if you're going to try, you may want to try sooner than later because 'you never know'.......But I kept looking at my OWN mom and dad...with 7 siblings of mine...(8 of us kids with TWO sets of twins...4 boys, 4 girls)....all I knew growing up (I was the baby) was lots of brothers and sisters and I loved it and wouldn't have wanted it any different! Go for it...it may be a bit of blur (when the kiddo's are yet young) but "this too passes" and like a blink of the eye, they're nearly all grown!

I agree with the previous posts. If you have enough love and patience, have room and resources...then, WHY NOT! :)

I, too, have always known that I would want four kids; and, God has certainly blessed me with that! I can NOT imagine my life without my 14 year old, 12 yr old, 4 yr old, and 2 yr old. They bring me more joy and happiness than anything else on Earth! Sure, they can be a pain in the butt, but that's the part that will become the "BLUR" to you when all is said and done.

Do what's in your heart...
Good luck!

13(f),10(m),7(m),5(f),3(m),19month(f)...as far as getting easier... .well I can say that 3 was HARD!!!! The fourth was funner, time wise, you tend to get back on track when they reach that 20 month faze, somewhere near there at least. They become a bit more independent and can do a bit for them selves other than hang off you 24-7. There are moments when I could RUN...but 99% it is WONDERFUL. They all have great days and bad days, they are human, but the giggles and hugs and kisses they share is amazing. I would have more.. If you have enough LOVE and patients then go for it. Some kids require more attention than others, and a different kinds as well. No two are the same, similarities maybe but not the same! As they get older your worries are more..not less, so easier is a state of mind and place in time for the individual ;)

Hi, M.. I have 5 kids (21 girl, boys 17, 13, 9, 7). My now exhusband and I planned #4, but #5 was an unexpected surprise. Having 5 is crazy, fun, amazing. I wouldn't change that for anything. Of course there are things that are a challenge (#4 has speech issues and slight developmental delays and #5 has complex seizures; all get migraines, etc), but these are just life and parenting challenges, which you get with one kid or five.
Because we are a family, a unit, I don't let my kids fight with each other and they are developing amazing character traits: they are generous, kind, look out for each other, take care of each other, help around the house, hold each other accountable, etc.
My dad told me that the only thing he ever regretted with kids was not having more (he had 4). I think that's true.
There is a special dynamic to multiple kids. They will always have each other to depend on if things get tough. One of my very favorite things to do is take my sons out to dinner. We laugh, talk, tease, bond. I cannot imagine my life w/o any of them.
Oh, to answer your question: I don't know if it gets easier with more, but I don't think it's harder and it's definitely wonderful.
Good luck.... :-)

We have four kids two girls and two boys. Some days are easy and wonderful and others are hard and they have many challenges in them. But that is the way life is. I can't say if having three kids is easier than having four. To some having one child is all they can handle. It is up to the people in the family to dictact what they can handle and can't. Just search for what your heart really wants.