Seeking Advice on Putting a Sleeping Baby into His Crib Without Waking Him Up

C.,

I hate to say this, but he's waking up because you are putting him to sleep... for a few days try to get him to be almost asleep and then put him down. I have used the cry it out method for both my kids. I don't know what you think about it. But if you are alright with it, then let him cry for a while after you put him down (when he's almost asleep) and see how he does. Gradually increase the intervals for which youlet him cry. With my son, it took me 3 days and he was sleepign through the night. With my daughter (who is 6 mosnths now) it took a lot longer. Don't give up - I almost did with my daughter, but now she sleeps like a charm on her own and when she is rocked to sleep. Think about it this way - you need the rest too, or else you can't give him the best care. Hang in there.

Aarti,

Hi C.. I have a baby about the same age - almost 3 months now. I also have two older kids - a 4 year old and a 2 and a half year old. I agree - a 10 week old is too young to "cry it out." I have not been able to put any of my three kids down awake and have them fall asleep on their own when they were newborns. And my pediatrician says they're too young to cry it out as newborns, and that feels right to me. However, once they hit three months, he says it's fair game, which also feels right to me! Once you hit three months, I suggest the crying-it-out method. It worked amazingly for both my older kids. They both easily get themselves to sleep for both naps and overnight now. And they sleep longer and held on to naps longer than any other kids I know. It's a trying few days while you're going through it (I remember talking to my mom every day while the kids cried just so I wouldn't go pick them up!), but you have to remember that as long as you console them once so they're sure to know you're not gone and you make sure they're fine, they are just crying out of frustration and anger, almost a power struggle. "Hey, if I cry, will mom come back?" So you have to make sure to teach them that no, screaming and crying is not going to bring mom back until they've slept. Once they learn that, they keep it. Of course if they're ill or have a nightmare in the middle of the night, go to them, but give them a few minutes to see if they get back to sleep first. Until he's old enough, you might also want to try putting his car seat in the crib and getting him to sleep in that. I've heard it works really well for some kids and also putting the seat in the crib gets them used to that view as the sleeping area. Best of luck to you. I hope this helps.

Hi,
I have a 3-year old and a 4 month old and have faced every sleep issue there is! So my advice to you is to put him in the crib sleepy but awake (I don't think he's too young to do this - but he is too young to cry it out if you want to do that). If he crys in the crib when you put him down you could either try and comfort him in the crib by not picking him up (lie him on his side and pat his back and shhhh loudly in his ear) or pick him up to calm him but the second he's calm put him down again. Whatever you decide to do you need to be consistant and give it a go for a while (like a week) before deciding it's not working. It may be that your son is a motion junky and that takes a while to break - belive me! Good luck!

I agree - it's actually much better to put your son down AWAKE. He needs to learn to settle himself and put himself to sleep, and 10 weeks is about the time that he can do this. Put him down, kiss him goodnight, and leave. Look at the clock. DO NOT come back in for 3-5 minutes (it will seem like an eternity). When you DO come back in, comfort him but DO NOT pick him up. Put your hand on him. Sing to him, whatever. Then kiss him and leave again. Repeat as necessary. If you come in every several minutes, rest assured that your baby knows you have not abandoned him. This is hard as a parent, but I promise, falling asleep yourself is an important skill.

Before you start this process, of course make sure he's well fed, clean diaper, relaxed etc. You want him sleepy, but not asleep, when you put him down. I usually bathe, nurse, and rock my son (6.5 months old) and then put him in bed awake. I sing him his bedtime song, kiss him goodnight, and leave. I think the ritual (same thing every night, and a song that you sing ONLY at bedtime) really helps. He knows as soon as his bath starts what the sequence of events is going to be, and he sleeps beautifully.

You can opt not to do this, or to wait several weeks - and that's fine as long as you don't mind rocking your baby to sleep. But if rocking doesn't work for you, please don't let people tell you you are a bad parent for sleep training your child - you're not.

I know there are some that may have suggested letting your baby cry. That only lets the baby know that noone will respond to their needs. That is the only way to communicate with you. If you think about it, your baby was with you without being separated for a very long time before birth, and they continue to need that closeness. I am expecting my fourth child in February, so I have experienced what you are talking about. I sometimes have left something of mine that I have been wearing with the baby, or a blanket that I have had close to me while holding and nursing the baby, and that sometimes helps. Also, I have kept my hand or part of me on the baby for a little while after I lay them down so they still feel that I am near. Then I slowly remove myself. Those are just some ideas. Just trust yourself and do what is best for both of you. Your baby will also trust you and know that he will be taken care of by his wonderful mother.
And like some others, I have brought the baby to bed with me, we both have slept better sometimes that way!

I struggled with this for my son as well (still can't seem to get him in the crib for a nap) and one thing that has helped us is to place a heating blanket in your son's crib 15-20 minutes before planning to put him to sleep and removing it right before you put him down. I've heard that sometimes babies will wake up when you place him/her in the crib because they are going from your warm arms to a cold crib.

One other thing, my son suffers from reflux so laying on his back is one of the most painful ways to sleep, which is why he prefers the bouncy seat or swing. The dr. suggested placing a large book or something underneath his mattress so that he sleeps at s 30 degree angle. This has helped as well.

Good luck!

Working mom to a 11 week old baby boy.

I am a new parent, and I took one of those new parent classes taught by a nurse. She said that at 10 wks, we could start "sleep training". The method she taught was to put your baby to bed at night awake and leave the room. Let him/her cry for 5 minutes, then go in and comfort them for a few minutes. Put them back down awake, and let them cry for 8 minutes, then comfort. Keep extending the the cry time by a few minutes. She said do this, and by 2 wks, they will be able to fall asleep on their own. But once you give in, you have to start all over. However, she did say that this was only for the bedtime routine. When baby wakes up in the middle of the night for a feeding, then it's okay to put them back to bed if they fall asleep while feeding. I'm currently doing this now, and some nights my son falls asleep within the first 5 minutes, and some nights I end up going in the room 2x to comfort him, and then he finally falls asleep.

C.,
Just so you know, I don't believe in crying it out, period.
If you enjoy rocking your baby to sleep, please continue to do so. You already know how to get him to sleep. You also know where he sleeps best...in his bouncy seat and in his swing. Why not buy another bouncy seat or swing to keep at the daycare facility? Is there is some rule against providing your own equipment? Surely the staff would prefer to care for content babies. You know that you both have major transition ahead of you when you return to work, right? Having this extra equipment during the day should help quite a bit with this. Also, be sure to swaddle. Try to co-sleep unless you are totally against it. For more gentle sleeping advice information see books by Dr. Harvey Karp and also by Dr. William Sears. This can be a very tender, bonding time for the two of you. I sincerely hope that you can enjoy, even savor, this short period of time. Babies really do grow up fast and their sleeping patterns change over the months also.
FYI: We were able to put our kids in their cribs with no problems, but not until they were several months older than your baby is now.
Congratulations!
Amy

I agree that you should put him down sleepy, but still awake.

But I also have to mention - we LOVED our amby sleep hammock, which we had with our second son, because it helped to soothe him back to sleep when he woke in the night. It allows them to "bounce" themselves back to sleep if they wake up (or you can reach out and bounce them from your bed) and it's very portable if you travel with the baby. It also helps prevent positional head deformity. You can see information at www.ambybaby.com

We started putting our baby in the crib sleepy, but awake, at 7 or 8 weeks old (she was swaddled as well). I really don't think your baby is too young for that. (Maybe she's too young for _you_ to be able to do it, but your son should be capable of handling it....) In the long run, it is soooo much better to start it early. We are very lucky. She's now 7 months old and sings herself to sleep every night. It is rare she falls asleep in our arms, which can be frustrating in some situations, but i would rather be this way than the opposite.