Feeling Guilty About Using a Swing a Lot for Sleep with My 9 Week Old

I wouldn't feel guilty at all. If that is what works then do it. I used the swing and/or bouncy for my (4)kids all the time.

L.,

You said it babe, whatever works, works. That's the way it is with each individual baby, and that's the personality difference! This is motherhood. Enjoy every unique minute.

Wendy

All I can say is YOU ROCK! You sound like you are doing a great job, and just go with what works for you, not what everyone tells you to do. Congratulations!

Do not feel guilty! A swing is the only thing that saved my sanity with my firt child. He would not fall asleep unless he was in it. Once he was out, then I put him in his bed. Sometimes, that was the only way any of us were getting a nap! She'll grow out of it =-)

In my humble opinion, as you put it yourself, she's really young and whatever works, works. My son slept in his bouncer in his crib until he outgrew it (around four months?). The pediatrician actually suggested this because she suspected a problem with reflux and the incline of the seat helped keep the acid down. He also seemed to really like the vibration. We bought two sets of rechargable batteries for the bouncer and would literally put in a freshly charged set each night before bed. He'd still wake up every few hours to be breastfed, but that seemed normal, too. Now he's eleven months old and sleeps just fine through (most nights) with no apparent lasting bad habits. Sounds to me like your little one is doing great and is already able to soothe herself just fine. Good job!

We used to use the swing to put our 12 week old to sleep and our doctor said that is one of the reasons we are now dealing with correcting his flat head! As long as you aren't leaving her in there too long, you might be ok. Just something to watch out for.

It might have something to do with the lighting. When my daughter came home from the hospital she wouldn't sleep at night. We attached a clamp light to her crib and had the light reflect off the headboard. She was out like a light (pardon the pun). Seems she got used to the light in the nursery for sleeping. We only used it for a little while. Good luck

I used the vibrating chair thing myself :)

But please don't let her cry it out! She is too young. She You build trust by responding to their cues. For this reason, avoid strict schedules. Feed on demand. WAtch her cues. Her crying means she is trying to tell you something.

Try wearing a sling too. It imitates the womb: the rocking, coziness, hearing your voice and hearbeat...

(read Happiest Baby on the Block, The Baby Book, Nursing Mother's Companion books)

However, you mentioned that she cries when on her back. I wonder if she is out of alignment? Many babies go through stress in childbirth where things get out to wack. If it were me, I'd get her to a chiropractor, one who specializes in babies (In Long Beach, Dr Shur at the Advanced WEllness Ctr in the Marketplace is experienced with this). Her hips or pelvis or spine, or even head could be out of alignment,so certain positions may cause her a lot of pain. If that's not it, then there is no downside to visiting a chiropractor--aligning the body properly allows it to function at its optimal level.

good luck.

Why do you feel guilty about something that works? Who told you that the swing is "bad"? The swing was a lifesaver for me and my sanity!!! My oldest son didn't nap well either and was very colicky. The swing soothed his colic and allowed him to fall asleep. The only other thing that worked was taking him for a car ride and have him fall asleep in the car seat --- the swing was soooooooo much easier. I used the swing for a few months until he outgrew the colic and developed a good sleep routine. And a word of caution -- just when you think she has developed a routine, she'll change it. What is important is what works for her. I have two children (young adults now) and neither of them slept as many hours as the "experts" say they needed, but they made up for it when they turned into teenagers and I couldn't get them to wake up. Anyway -- throw guilt out the window, and I'm pretty sure she'll give up the swing before it becomes a 'bad habit'.

Why are you concerned? If it's working go with it.

you're lucky she'll sleep in a swing..my son barely would..my OB said she had all 4 of her kids sleep in the swing forever! If you're giving her formula it might be upsetting her belly..so u might have to switch ...i breast fed for 27 months but i supplemented sometimes w/ Good Start Supreme Comfort Protein formula..it was the only one that didn't bother my son's belly..
also babies just don't know how to fall asleep..i had to have my son sleep on me for the first 3 months and he was a big baby..i propped myself up in my bed and laid him over my belly.
i used to have him nap on me too..i would sit at the computer w/ a firm pillow on my lap and nurse him to sleep..or i'd plant myself on the couch w/ the pillow on my lap and just watch tv

there's also the stroller trick..i used to push him back and forth on the porch facing a wall so it was good and boring...and then i'd push for about 20 minutes til he fell asleep then i would roll him into a dark bedroom.
or the bassinet..nurse your babe on your lap on a firm pillow..then carry her on the pillow and place them both in the bassinet.
it's tough..it does get easier i think the first 3.5 months is the toughest..i also used to just wear my son in the Bjorn in the day and let him sleep on me.
have you tried swaddling?
i say do whatever works in the beginning..sing a song that you always sing at bedtime..
also the baby developement channel is good..i would tivo the bedtime program and play it at naptime etc..

I'm 36 years old and I have 5 children and am pregnant with #6. I have had babies like your little angel! You know what I have come to realize? They each have their own personalities, likes and dislikes. Most of my babies liked to be rocked to sleep in a rocking chair during a good feeding. I've had another who like to be put to sleep in the swing, and yet another who prefers to just be laid down in her bed. All of my children eventually fall asleep in their beds on their own. I've always considered my children's sleeping habits as I would teaching them to walk or read. It's a learning process. Not ALL children learn it at the same rate. You have to guide them, like you are doing! She doesn't need the swing EVERY time, but if it helps to soothe her to sleep during that hard evening hour it's okay. Not all children need the pacifier, their thumbs, blankey, or a swing to soothe them. But some do and it's okay. They all have different personalities, thus different needs. Congratulations on your new baby and good luck!

We went through the same thing with our son. I asked our pediatrition and she said that it was fine. For us it only lasted a couple of months, but we all were able to get some sleep!!! Don't feel guilty, get some sleep!

My husband and I used the swing when our 2 year old daughter was a baby. Not only did we use the swing we also would rock her to sleep. It seemed like these were the only methods of getting her to sleep. We would even run the vacuum cleaner in a nearby room and that would also help her sleep. I think we did this to hang on to our sanity more than help her sleep. She is a good sleeper now often telling us when she is ready to take her nap if it is earlier than the designated nap time. I would not worry about it, you are being a good mom.

If the swing works, I think it is okay. Just keep trying... after she falls asleep, put her in her crib. Don't let her stay in the swing longer than she needs it. She'll eventually outgrow it.
Good luck!

we set out to be the kind of parents that bit the bullet and did things right the fist time so as not to start bad habbits. Ha Ha, but when sleep is what you want and what you need, there are things you do you swore you'd never do. I was so desperate to sleep myslef I resorted to the swing for all night sleeping (set on rocker motion!). I felt like the worst mom, but needed my sleep in the worst way. I guiltily confessed this to my pediatrition. She said it was fine for the baby, but we were setting oursleves up for a hard transition. So at 12 weeks we started putting her in her crib and it was hard to let her cry it out. We would go in and comfort her every 10-20 min. depending on the urgency of crying. I do hear horror stories of parents relying on swings into 6 and even 8 months. It worked for us to rely on swing into the 4 month.

Sounds like you already have recieved tons of good advice. I thought I would share with you that we experienced the same with my little one and it did turn out to be silent reflux as well as dairy/soy allergy. She is now 8 months and thriving. I think the swing is a great tool and we used it often to calm her down. Another thing that worked for us was one of those big yoga Bosu balls. We would sit on it and bounce with her in our arms and she would lull right to sleep. It still works to this day when we have problems getting her to sleep. I do think she is way too young to cry it out....she needs to trust that you will be there for her needs at this age. I still have yet to let my DD cry it out and probably never will...but everyone is different so do what works best for you. I realized at about 12 weeks that my DD was overtired by 7 pm. Once I moved her bedtime up to 6:30 she went down like an angel and slept through the night (with only one feeding at 3 am). Made me realize she was exhausted all along and even now I realize, if you miss that window of oppourtunity for bedtime when they are sleepy, they get a second wind and it becomes a big challenge to put them to bed. Good luck!!

I felt the exact same way!!! It's whatever works at that age! We did the same thing for my daughter and believe me, if I could go back and do it all over again I'd do the same thing WITHOUT feeling guilty about it! It's didn't last too long...nothing ever does at that age. So just enjoy using something that works :) It's what's making your baby the most relaxed and comfortable for bedtime, and what's better that that?!
Trust me...you will not have a 5 year old that only sleeps when in a swing *lol

She's only 9 weeks old. She's WAY too young to be crying out. The earliest this is suggested is 4 months. And it's normal for a 9 week old to have a lot of needs. Sometimes you're lucky and they sleep, sometimes you're not. Use the swing. I wouldn't worry about it until around 4 months. Around 4 months I'd try to put get to her to sleep only on the breast or bottle and then ween her off that around 6 months. (that is if you can't get her down on her own). You can always undo bad habits, it just may take some time. Plus, they grow out of things. Don't be surprised if this just stops working at 3 months or something. Please don't let her cry it out! She's just a little thing.

My son was very simular. he is now 3 and fine. But we used the swing to help him go to sleep. I say if it works don't fix it. your daughter is fine. maybe she is just so active that being rocked helps her calm down enough to even fall asleep. I would just continue it until she finds another way to calm herself.

Hi L.,

I wouldn't feel guilty at all about using the swing to get your baby to sleep. We had to do the same thing with our son when he was just about the same age, except some nights he would sleep in the swing from evening till morning. It was the only way to get him (and give us) sleep. The only thing I regret about using that method is how expensive the batteries got! (Someone needs to invent a plug-in for swings). Anyways, now our son sleeps all night, usually 12 hours a night, in his crib. He goes right to sleep most nights without making a sound. He does much better with his sleep than many other kids I hear of who had nothing to do with the swing when they were younger...

Just a thought; the swing might be a way for baby to cope with a stomach ache. I have a feeling that was what was happening with our son. We later found out that he was allergic to dairy and soy, and when I ate it, he was exposed to it through my breast milk, and he would get bad reflux, gas, rashes, and even bleeding. I found out about his allergy from a chiropractor who practices muscle testing for allergies. You may want to consider that for your little one. Ever since we eliminated it from our diets, he has been a more content and healthy little guy!

Good Luck,
J.

Hi L.,

I'm sure other mothers have responded, but I haven't gone through to read what they've written, so if I repeat anything, I apologize.

I went through the EXACT same thing with my boy, except that instead of a swing, he would only fall asleep in my arms. If I put him down drowsy, he'd flip right over and start to wail and no amount of "tough love" would calm him down. I only went about 30 minutes, but pretty cried outside his room the whole time myself, so it was pointless. He's not 10 months old and the evening baths, followed by some aerobic dressing (the kind where the kid won't sit still and you both work up a sweat trying to wrangle him into his pjs), a book (which usually ends up getting eaten or thrown to the ground), and a bottle, then falling asleep on my chest, and getting moved to the crib.

Just keep doing what you're doing. Your 9-week old just needs to know that you'll be there for her when she's not happy, like when you put her down and she's not fully asleep. Sure, it might extend your sleeplessness for a few months, like it has mine, but what I'm noticing with mine is that he's slowly moving toward not needing me to pick him up everytime he wakes up, a pat on the back, or an adjustment of pillows and blankets is all he needs.

Other moms might have differing opinions, but the way I see it, until the child can understand that he has to go to bed and knows that I'm just across the hall if he really needs me, a couple more months of no sleep are a minimal inconvenience.

Good luck!

Using a swing is just fine, I think. I have a 12 week old daughter and when she has a hard time falling asleep I put her in her swing. The only thing I was worried about was when she was too big for the swing, what do I do to put her to sleep? So I asked my pediatrician and he said to put a toy and/or blanket in the swing with her so she gets used to having it when she falls asleep and when it's time to just start putting her in the crib to fall asleep on her own, she'll have her toy or blanket to feel secure enough to be alone.

Don't worry about bad habits yet. She is still really young. If the swing works for her, then use it! I know people who let tbeir babies sleep all night in the swing or car seat. Some babies are ready for sleep training earlier than others, so crying it out may work for some at this age, but not all. My son wasn't ready for any kind of sleep training until 5 months old. When he was your daughter's age, he used to take 4 hour naps in his swing because it was the only way he would take anything other than a cat nap and he otherwise would only nap in my arms. Do what works for you! Just try every once in a while to put her to bed the way you want her to eventually go to bed to see if she's ready or not. If she is, great, if not, go back to the swing! Good luck!

Hi L.,
Although I haven't read this book yet, a girlfriend of mine swears by it. It's called Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. I just picked up a copy a couple of days ago. Good luck!

I see lots of moms have recommended "The Happiest Baby on the Block." In the final chapter, the author provides an exit strategy: like, when you can expect to "wean" baby off of swaddling, the swing, white noise, etc. This should be a comfort if you're worried about your little one needing a swing until she's 18 years old (heh heh)

Just do what works! It's important that you are not totally stressed out. Also, babies change all thetime . . .my 9-week-old would fall asleep in the swing and it was great . . .and now three weeks later, she won't sit in the swing at all (without crying like we are torturing her). Hopefully Korinna will like her swing for a long time. :)

You're expecting way too much from a 9 week old baby. They do not typically sleep through the night at this age. You might check out "The Baby Book: Everything You Need To Know About Your Baby From Birth To Age Two" by William Sears. It is a great resource about what to expect from kids at each stage and what to do in response.

L. honey, she's way too young to leave to cry herself to sleep. She needs your soothing embrace and comfort right now to establish a strong sense of security in her little world. Putting her to sleep in a swing is going to condition her for rocking motion to get to sleep. just feed her, hold her in your arms and let her nod off. At 6 and 7 months you can start trying to put her in the bed half awake. When you put her in the crib it just may be too big a space for her as yet, little babies can sense this. A bassinet or a border that makes the crib smaller may feel better to her, are you still bundling her? I get the feeling she's just not ready for this method you're trying. I can't emphasize enough how she needs to feel secure right now...be there for her. :)

Hi,
If the swing works, use it. There is nothing to feel guilty about. You baby will change and eventually not want to be in the swing. My son loved the swing and slept in it for naps and for bed time at night in his early months. When he got too big and wanted to roll around more, he started sleeping in his crib.
I tried to let my son cry it out too, it didn't work because he would get so upset that he would vomit. The book authors (Doctor's) don't know everything, all babies are different. What may work for some, may not work for others. You're the mommy, you do what ever you feel is right.
Just love and enjoy your baby, the sleeping situation will get better as your baby grows. In the mean time, USE THE SWING.
You should put all the books away for a while and do things YOUR way. Hang in there, I went though the same thing.

I think its normal. I have twin boys and it is the only way one of mine would go to sleep. And for some reason at around 3 1/2 to 4 months he started to hate his swing and WANTED his bed and ever since then he hasnt ever slept in a swing. It wont last forever and they will let you know when they no longer need it!

Hi L.

Just a couple of thoughts...
With very active babies it is sometimes difficult to get a sense of when they are tired. An overtired baby is MUCH more difficult to get to sleep. A good rule of thumb is to have her in bed by the third yawn. Is she going down to sleep at 7.00 and then waking up again for her last meal at 9 or is she going down for her first "night" sleep after the nine o'clock feed? If so I would try doing bath at 6pm and getting her down at 7.00 after a feed with another feed at about 10/ 10.30 . However active they are babies really do need their sleep - it is the only time they grow and they never like to admit they are tired!

Also, and this is a long shot but something to be aware of never the less, my little girl had acid reflux as a baby and was only diagnosed at about 8 weeks. One of the symptoms was that she cried terribly when we laid her flat (because the acid would come up and sting her) and we could only get her to sleep when she was more upright. Like in a sling or swing. Does it seem to you that maybe it is the lying flat that activates the screaming? If so we put a cheese wedge shaped pillow under the mattress sheet so that she was on a slight incline. But this is something your doctor could advise you on. I must say though that given she goes down for her first nap of the day without much issue it sound as if she is simply overtired at night.

Best of luck!

9 weeks old is a little early for trying to establish a sleeping routine - a lot of those methods are more appropriate for 4 months old and up. It also sounds like your child is super-active and loves being part of everything, so I would try "parenting" her to sleep at those particularly rough times.

If you absolutely need to use the swing, that's great that works for you, but see if she'll respond to you rocking and singing to her, feeding her, etc. There's usually nothing better for a young baby than the feel of her mama. My daughter is not one of those that you can put in the crib awake too well so my husband rocks and cuddles her at night and I hold her for a few minutes after feedings to see if she'll go back to sleep.

Good luck!

Hi Leticia-
I wouldn't feel guilty about putting your daughter in the swing. It's obvious you have tried everything to soothe her to sleep. I have 4 yr old twin boys and I used to do the same thing with them. Sometimes, we hated waking them up to put them in the crib so we would let them swing all night. Of course, they were seatbelted in and close by so we felt they were safe. They were still able to transition to the crib. One suggestion I would give to help keep her relaxed is get a CD player in her bedroom. Buy a lullaby CD and play it when you put her to bed. It really did the trick for me. Babies love motion so you're don't worry, it's soothing her. and getting her to sleep. Good luck!

Hi L., if the swing works, would rocking her to sleep work? I rocked all my babies to sleep for bed.nap time becasue i wanted them being nurtured to sleep, Using the swing may feel like a habit, people used to tell me that rocking my babies were creating a bad habit, anything that we do to help our babies slep could probably be concidered a habit, but there are good habits and not so good habits. If the swings workd for her right now, then don't feel guilty, I;m 51 my kids are grown, I never put my babies to bed to put themselves to sleep, I;m not sure they are supossed to put them selves asleep, I would do what you are doing for a while, but remember one day she will be to big for the swing, just like mine got to big to rock, for some reason we nevwer had any slep issue with any of our kids, they statred sleeping through the night at 6 weeks and continued on. Your baby is still very small, if what you are doing is out of love don't feel guilty. J.

L.,

being a mom is a guilty affair! But it doesn't need to be. I think you are doing a great job, it sounds like you are very attuned to your baby's personality and needs, and the fact is that all of her bed times are happening ideally, which is you putting her awake in her bed, and her being able to fall asleep on her own. I think it is a great thing that she is able to do that most of the time, she is learning to put herself to sleep. I wouldn't worry about the evening bed time in the swing. She is 9 weeks old, things will change, and right now, you need your sleep, and she needs hers too. Do what works for all of you.
You will get used to one thing and think you have it under control, and your baby will change on you and start doing a new thing. So don't get too worried about habits. Up until 6 months, they are relatively easy to change, if need be.

Give yourself a big pat on the back, because you are giving your baby what she needs, which is love, attention, caring, nurturing, food and sleep. You are doing a great job!

please please please dont let her cry to sleep, she's only 9 weeks. even ferber who invented this method says people are using it much too young, he meant it to be for babies over 9 months. babies this age who cry need something, and it's not to cry themselves to sleep, they need you. Swings are GREAT! good for you for finding it. check out Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block, he can help you find all the other great tools as well. Good luck and keep up the good work.

aww she is only 9 weeks old, and the swing is just about an hour at a time, my thought I would rather see her go to sleep with happy thoughts then have to cry her self to sleep.
( how sad ) as she gets older she will out grow the swing plus be to big for it, I say let the baby swing !!! yes she might be an addict but you know Bless her heart, she does go to sleep on her own during the day, plus dont we all fuss about the night time sleep.

Hi L.,

Sometimes it's really hard to read your baby's cues. And some babies are just more difficult than others, period. My sister had a baby girl a few months ago and that little girl is happy as anything when she's in her little vibrating chair. My son had the same chair and hated it, and his swing, and his car seat... you get the picture. I say if you've found a way to get some relief, USE IT! I know they always say to start as you mean to go on (meaning, what are you going to do when she gets too big for the swing?), but I say that if you've found a way to get her to sleep now, it seems like it will be easier to correct a "bad" habit later if she's well-rested now. I could be totally wrong about that, but you make whatever decision you feel is best for your family and your little girl.

As she's getting older now though, might I suggest you try putting her to bed earlier? My son almost always got fussy between 5 and 9 pm until he would finally crash and fall asleep. I tried my best to put him to bed earlier (like 5 pm) on days he didn't nap well and when I did he did so much better. He was getting overtired because he was not a very good napper (and still isn't) and would get to the point where he was so irritable/fatigued that he couldn't fall asleep! As long as I was able to get him to sleep within his drowsy window, before he got overtired, I was able to avoid the screaming. The trick was catching that window because he didn't yawn or show any adult-like drowsy signals (I finally figured out that when he pulled at his hair he was getting overtired).

Hope this helps you, and I'm sending you wishes for many many days and nights of good sleep!