Seeking Advice for Preschool or Kindergarden

My daughter's birthday is in the middle of September so when she started public school we had her early-tested into Kindergarten. The testing was ridiculous but the principal saw her past preschool work and admitted her. Unfortunately, she did not learn one new thing the whole year she was in Kindergarten - it was just repetition and she was very bored. For first grade, we pulled her out and sent her to Happy Valley Charter School in the North Valley. It is a fantastic school where they group kids in classes according to their ability in each grade level. They also teach very advanced work - 2 grades above their age. My daughter is thriving there (in 2nd grade now) in spite of being one of the youngest in the class. I know they also accept kids with birthdays up until December into Kindergarten and then group them according to their abilities so that might be an option for you. Best of luck!

Hi S.,
Our son is an August baby, he will just turn 5 the beginning of August. He has gone to preschool when he was 3 and 4. He attends a private school now but we are switching to public for kindergarden. I asked his teachers if they felt we should hold him back as he will be the youngest of his class. They all said no way. Our son thrives in situations where he's not the smartest, where he's around older kids. When he's placed with younger kids he get's bored and not interested. I think each child is different and it really depends on your daughters learning style. It seem's to me though, that the private school shouldn't have the right to say "NO" to her just because she will be the youngest. If she is 5 by the date that is mandated to start K, then placing her in K should be your decision not theirs.
Hope that helps.
K.

If it helps you at all, I was 4 years 10 months when I started kindergarten. I was in an academically rigorous school and was in all the advanced and gifted programs throughout elementary, junior high, and high school. in other words, the age i was when i started kindergarten had no bearing on my academic performance and ability to adapt socially. I really think it has nothing to do with age but where your daughter is developmentally. can you talk to her current teacher to get his/her opinion? Whatever you decide, good luck. It's so hard but I'm sure you'll do what's best for your little one.

There are some things to consider socially if you put your child in school early. If she is interested in sports later on she may also have age limits to deal with, being older will help. The arguement to hold a child back has usually been for boys because of their size and maturity. Being the oldest in her class will have two possible outcomes that I can think of when puberty comes around. She may be way more developed than her classmates which may be awkward for her. You know when you went through puberty yourself; were you ahead of everyone, or where you one of the last to develop. If she isn't an early bloomer at least she won't have to feel like "keeping up with the Jones's". Being with younger peers also may postpone sexual exploration. Just some things to think about.

My son turned 5 in september last year, so he missed the cutoff for kindergarten by less than a month. So we had him tested (for the public school system) and he was above the level needed for literacy and problem solving but didn't score high enough in the motor skills. I was disappointed but know it is for the best. I would rather have my son be acceling at the head of his class then struggling at the bottom because he started too soon. Plus it is a lot easier on a kid to move up a grade sometime in the future then to have them held back. Good luck. You'll figure it out. I know it seems like a big deal right now but in the long run of things it probably isn't.

I am too in the same position, but I guess the only thing that has helped my decision is the fact that I'm a teacher and I can see those children who started early and how it affects them. I have had my son in K at Tutor time, and I know that academically he is very ready to go onto 1st grade, but because he just turned 5 in december I am going to have him repeat it again. Emotionally he's just not ready and I don't want to see him have some of the social problems that some of my younger students face. So my advice would be to have her wait. It will only benifit her in the future.

S., I too have considered the same dilema with my daughter she seems to be a very intelligent child and we've even gone as far to consider her size... at four she is the same size as most five and six year olds. My husband and I have talked a lot about what to do. We know she could handle Kindergarten wonderfully and maybe even thrive despite being youngest in the class, but we know that Kindergarten is the least of it. My husband teaches 6th grade and he can tell the differences in the kids who started on the young end of the school year. Imagine the differences that these kids experience in those pre-teen years. Also, we've talked about the fact that if you start them young... they will always be the youngest, they will always be the last ones to do something or get something. Why put them in the position that they may become discouraged and hard on themselves. Let them be on top... get the satisfaction and encouragement that comes from being better at something than the others. Don't feel like you're saying your daughter isn't bright enough to start Kindergarten... just tell yourself that you are blessing her with the self confidence and other benefits that will come from giving her another year of preparation.

Hi S.
I think girls and boys are very different. My son turned five in late August but started school the first week of August. He is the youngest in his class. My best friends daughter turned five in June and started school in August and is very advanced. She was in preschool the year before, where is my son was at home with me. I wanted to put my son in Kindergarten because I felt he was ready to be in that environment, and well...my sanity!! I do feel that even though my son is very smart, he's not keeping up with the 6 or 6.5 year olds. He started seeing a reading teacher last month and if he doesn't catch up before May, we may have to have him redo Kindergarten. I really don't want to do that to him, he has made many good friends and I with the moms, so I wish I would have waiting another year for Kindergarten and put him in preschool instead. As far as your daugther goes, if YOU feel she is ready, mothers know best! I'm okay to admit that my son needs a little extra help. But my friends daughter being two months older, it's amazing to me how well she caught on. Hope this helps!

I have a child with a late July birthday. I was in the same boat as you in some aspects but I have a boy so I was facing different issues. My son is what some call classic gifted. He is super intelligent and blows my mind sometimes with his insight into problems. My problem is he has no frustration tolerance and social skills two years behind his age. I think you need to look at her degree of boredom in the class she is in and her social skills. If she is bored and okay socially, then moving her to kindergarden is probably a good idea. Tyler has no problem with the academic side - in fact he is placed in math class a year ahead of him, but he struggles with the social and behavior skills required of a 2nd grader. I made the choice to start him in kindergarden at 5 and placed him in a charter school where they can keep him challenged academically. We now have him in counceling and are working hard at improving his social and behavioral issues. I hope this helps. I think you know your child best and will make the best decision for your child. Good Luck!