Can You Help Us Decide? Need Your Wisdom.

Updated on March 02, 2011
M.F. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
34 answers

I’ve been homeschooling my 5 y/o son, since I was blessed to be a SAHM. We had every intention of having him start at a private school once he started Kindergarten at age 6. I taught him everything he would have learned had he gone to their Pre-K program. I just gathered all the info from school meetings and in meeting with the teachers. I exposed him a lot to culture, nature and signed him up for team sports and classes. He has great social skills and can do everything his peers are doing (ie, washing hands after potty, listening, following directions, etc.) We did some worksheets but I mostly taught him through fun. We listen to a lot of music. He’s very well rounded. He can read, write and do math. He is has also been exposed to science, social studies, geography and art.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, I have to go back to work and now we definitely cannot afford to send him to the private school. My son recently took an entrance exam and he scored at a 1st grade level in most academics and social which is equivalent to Kindergarten in our private school, if that makes sense. My son is doing math and reading at a 2nd grade level according to the tests.

The school wants to advance him to first grade this Fall but I am so apprehensive. Public school Kindergarten is focused on fun as much as academics. In first grade they are beginning to focus a lot on academics. IMO, my son will not have the foundation to start school like all kids get in Kindergarten. My husband thinks we should take the schools advice but I’m trying to get him to hear me and my instincts tell me he should start with Kindergarten.

I truly believe that how they teach kids in public school is WAY different than how I taught my son stuff so it will be same academics, but he will be exposed to it in a lot of different ways. Therefore, he would NOT get bored. After all he is just a kid and I don’t want to deprive him of the kindergarten experience. I hope I’m making sense here!!! Do you agree?

To answer the question:Kindergarten in our district is 5 days a week, 3 hours a day. 1st – 6th grade is 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. I’ve already attended Kindergarten roundup and have researched everything about the curriculum. When I say “fun” they do mostly art, music and fun projects and some academics.

I think my child will have enough years of academics 8-)

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you Mamapedia Moms for helping me get other perspectives on this. I called the school yesterday and asked them about having my son take K but attend reading and math with his level. The school will have him take reading and math with the first grade class. I hadn't even researched that option and I'm glad that was suggested here. It's important to me for my son to start out 3 days a week in a school setting and get him acclimated. My husband is actually satisfied with the fact that he will take reading and math with other kids on his level. Thanks again.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Denver on

I vote for kindergarten as this time is more about acclimating to a new environment and way of learning. If he adjusts well and excels, they may move him later. Don't rush. The teachers may also be able to help supplement the basic kindergarten plan - or you can at home. I was an early starter and did great academically - but socially wish I would have waited. Life skills can't be rushed, and shoudnt' be. I vote for Kindergarten.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Is there any reason why you couldn't go ahead and enroll him in kindergarten now so that he would start first grade next fall with other children his own age, but still get a chance to experience the "fun" of kindergarten (at least for a while)? That might be a good compromise.

3 moms found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I would put him in K. If the teacher and you then feel he is too far ahead, skip up to 2nd grade, at the end of the year. Then he gets the best of all worlds. Good luck. :)

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Phoenix on

Is there a Charter School in your area you can check out?
They run about a year ahead of public schools just as your private school does.

I ask this because we did the same with our first son. he could read, do math etc before Kindergarten. He was constantly in trouble in 1st grade for not sitting quietly once he was done with work and other students were not. and by second grade they wanted to move him up to 3rd, but he was already a young second grader so it didn't work so well. We found this great charter school and it was amazing! They challenge him and all in his own grade/age level with his peers.

Your son may still do great in public school kindergarten since it is more fun/play based but consider what will happen next year for 1st grade. They lose alot of that fun time and are expected to sit quietly if they finish their work before other kids do (and he will ). I just know how much I hated the first 2 years of his school.....I kept wondering if we had been wrong to teach him so much before he started school. Now I get to see him thrive and excell with the support of the curriculum and his teachers. I can only wish I had this experience from the beginning but know that I have learned from it and will place our 2 year old in a charter school when that time comes.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Miami on

Are you absolutely certain the public school you intend to put your son in is focused on fun and academics? Your positive???? I emphasize this because the school that my children attend, kindergarten is NOTHING at all like it was for me when I attended kindergarten...in the 70's. My children, when they were in kindergarten went all day (8 A.M. to 2:15 P.M.). They don't have nap time, they have lunch time (30 minutes), recess (about 20 minutes), they come home with homework (book reports, projects,) and they change classes, they have gym class, art, science....all in different classes. My children were NOT in the same classroom all day long. Kindergarten is very different today and I don't know if it's just my state or my area, but I have friends out of state who have also told me that their children, when they were in kindergarten had a similar curriculum. IF your child is placed in first grade because tests show that he could handle it, then I say go for it. He won't have missed out on any kindergarten "fun" experience.

3 moms found this helpful

N.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think if nothing else, just the difference in the learning environment will be alot for him to take in. He has had one on one learning from you...your undivided attention. Now he will have to share his teacher with 20 or 30 other students of varying abilities and backgrounds for learning. But I think the biggest thing is the classroom rules and all of those functions. First graders will know about raising their hand, waiting their turn (in a room of anxious 6 year olds), standing in line, etc..all those little things that make a classroom work cohesively. If he skips the Kindy experience, he will also lose some of these basics which could cause anxiety and frustration for him.

I would discuss with the school the possiblity of a mid year bump as well? Maybe it will all go smooth in the classroom regard...but the learning will be a big fat bore to him and he will be all set for a bump up? Some schools don't allow this, but some have a plan for it. I would ask and be prepared for this as a possible plan.

Good luck with your choice!!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My youngest son was put into a K/1 combo class in Kindergarten. As I had feared, it was more like first grade than kindergarten. He is very bright, so the work wasn't the issue, I just didn't want him to miss out on the sweet fun of kindergarten.

He remained in that class, however, and was perfectly happy. I guess he never knew what he missed out on. If you can get the school to put your son in kindergarten, then go for it, but if they insist on first grade, it sounds like he'll do just fine there.

Per the response below -- my son was a little bored in the first grade class the following year, but I don't think he would have been bored in kindergarten, because most K classes focus on play. By third grade he was still bored at school because it was too easy for him, so I enrolled him in a charter school that taught more to the individual and he has never said he was bored since.

2 moms found this helpful

D.M.

answers from Denver on

My 6 yo is in K in a public school and it's pretty academic. I think your instinct is as good a reason as ANY to choose K over 1.

Good luck!

(p.s. You can probably get info on what will be studied/learned at each level to help finalize your decisions)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Chicago on

What is your child ready for? How old will he be when he starts in the fall? If he is going to be 6 he will be older than most of his classmates and is academically advanced compared to his peers (according to your description of him) then he may end up being bored. Here's why...Kindergarten is a time of discovery and learning of basic skills that your child has already mastered. Even if the delivery is different, he will catch on quickly and then get bored. Trust me I see it every day with my students. Students who are bored can become disruptive and unmotivated. I'm not saying your child will, however it happens often. Consider visiting the first grade and kindergarten classrooms and talk with the teachers. Most public schools will allow this as long as you set up an appointment. I'm not saying you should skip kindergarten and go straight to first, but make sure you've considered both the positives and downfalls for each choice.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Actually if your son has a second grade reading and math level and they think he should enter first grade, I'd say they are right. Sure it will be more academic, but he had what sounds like a very advanced pre-k year at home with you. And it sounds as though he has a late birthday since he will be starting k at age 6 and not 5. So age wise he still isn't going to be the youngest in the class, but it will put him more in the middle of the group rather than having him not only be the oldest but be much further ahead of the group as well.

edited to add: 2 of my kids are homeschooled and have been because I generally dislike the public school system, so I do understand where you are coming from in how your child learns ect. However at his age and having dealt with the public school system here, there really isn't a lot of difference and it doesn't sound like he would have any trouble.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm going to vote for 1st grade. I didn't notice much difference in the approach between K and 1st (although MN schools could be different) and I would think he'll get bored quickly if he is already at the 1st and even 2nd grade level in academics. Again, I don't know about your particular school, but my daughter has had new classmates every year, as the school intentionally mixes up the kids between classrooms each year (there are three classrooms of kids in her grade). So I wouldn't worry too much about everyone having friends, besides they switch friends so quickly at that age.

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I think you should go with your gut and have him start in Kindergarten. If the school still wants to advance him a year then you can decide at the start of the next year and he can then go into 2nd grade.

2 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

The 1st year of school is more about socialization than academics.. If you skip kindergarten, he will still be ahead academically but could be behind socially. To me it's a choice between him being a step ahead of his peers academically (not a bad thing) or a step behind them developmentally and socially. You'll still be able to challenge him intellectually at home, but there is no substitute for kindergarten. That's where they learn the ropes.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey M.,
I was both a private school teacher for 4 years and public school teacher for 13 years (the last 4 being in first) and it sounds like you did an excellent job preparing your son for school. I wish all parents had that same initiative.
I was wondering if the school you were interested it offers scholarships? Many private schools do, and if you have not checked into it, you may want to do so.
Although I think public school education is good, I am thinking from what you have described that your son will flourish more in a private school setting where they have more financial resources to enjoy things such as art, music, computer, etc. The public school system is not doing so well financially these days, and so they do not have the resources they did a few years ago (that is unless you live in a really great district).
If you are unable to swing the cost of the private school even with a scholarship, I would suggest putting him in first. The tests are usually pretty telling of your child's abilities, and it sounds as though K would really be beneath him in so many ways.
Good luck to you.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I volunteer at the school all of my grandsons have attended. I help in a kindergarten room as well as a school wide reading program and computers in my youngest (third grade) grandson's room. Their school is all day kindergarten and they are learning reading, math, art, music, social studies, etc. Some of the children are very advanced and although they are in a kindergarten room, they are mainstreamed to a first grade class for math and/or reading. Maybe your son could do that. That way he gets the social (fun) part of kindergarten and still has a chance of continuing to advance in his academics.
Good luck with your precious little boy. You have done a great job and he will do very well in school.
K. K.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

You sound right on! It's about himbeing well rounded and knowing school can be fun too...good job with him. I think you are a very intuitive and caring mommy..

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't do it! In my opinion boys are not nearly as mature as girls. And it will show at show point. I started my son in K at 5 years old - I thought he was ready - and he was VERY bright. Well, I wish I had waited. He's now in 10th grade, and I've noticed for several years now that he is so much less mature than other kids. Plus he will graduate at 17 - yikes!!!! I SO wish I had waited. Don't rush your son through. Childhood is short enough as it is!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Kinder is not all fun and games. There is mostly academics. I know, i am probably in a different district. But, think about how bored he is gonig to be w/ kids younger than him. This is not going to be an easy decision. But, you need to see the other side. Your son can probably handle more than you are giving him credit for.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.H.

answers from Chicago on

since he would be starting in a public school academics typically 'even out' by 3rd grade......and if he's advanced because he is a bright kid, the school should have either a tiered academics classroom or advanced classes for whatever subject he is advanced in......i say go with kindergarten

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.Z.

answers from Reno on

Men are very achievement oriented. Your husband probably feels that you'll be depriving your son of a chance to be ahead of his peers if he goes to K. Generally, though, you're right, K is about learning to be in school as much as it is about academics. Being in a classroom of 30 kids is SO much different than being at home. If he has to adjust to both at once, it'll make the transition much less pleasant for him. Plus, studies show that being one of the oldest kids in class is more advantageous than being the youngest. I'd vote for K.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I skipped kindergarten and first grade was really difficult for me. On the other hand, if you taught him everything he needs to know, then maybe first grade will be fine. We have lots of kids that come from private kindergarten into first grade so don't worry too much about friendships already being formed. We have 5 classes of each grade so each year they are mixed with new kids. On the kindergarten side, it was much less intensive than first grade where they are expected to sit at a desk and pay attention, and there are a lot of kids that are just turning 6 in K. You should also talk to your school about how they handle the "advanced" students. In our K, those that were advanced in reading or math were pulled out for special enrichment so they wouldn't get bored. Keep in mind that there will be several kids that cannot even write their names, let a lone read anything. For my daughter, K was really just a lesson in social skills and a review of pre-K. Good luck in your decision.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd vote for kinder. We live in a society that is push push push from the very beginning...often, it seems to be too much so for our kids. If he is bored, you can always advance him in a couple of years, but really...what's the rush? If he's exceptionally bright, perhaps you could start him in some kind of music lessons to round him out a bit and give him something else to work on besides school.

Just my opinion! :)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Go with your gut. I have very bright children and have done a lot of fun learning at home but have kept them at their age / grade level. Why in the world would you want your little one to be the very youngest, by a year, in the class?

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.F.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I would trust your Mama's intuition. You are such a great mom for doing so much for your son! I think you will find your intuitions backed up by watching the movie "The Road to Nowhere" about the current education system.
Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Go with their recommendation and put him in first grade.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I think you've done a great job with your son and he's very advance for his age. I like what one mother said and see if you can put him in Kindergarten right now. I think he'll be bored in K, if you start him next year. Just my opinion...

1 mom found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Honey, my years of experience tell me that I have to agree with your husband. I have taught the same way you do. My daycare parents often tell me that their children were bored in school because I had them so far ahead of the other children. Unless he is very immature, I'd put him into first grade. But I suspect he's well behaved enough.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Phoenix on

When I was in kindergarten, they let me stay with my class for about half the day, then I would go spend the rest of the day with the first grade to do reading and math. The teachers must have been very accomodating now that I think about it, but it worked out well for me. I did eventually move up to the grade above full-time, but not until I was in second grade (when I moved up to third). Perhaps they could work out something like this so that your son will get the "fun" stuff you want him to have, but still be challenged by his schoolwork. If he is at second grade level, he will be bored stiff by the academic parts of kindergarten.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like you are thinking about the whole situation, and how YOUR son will learn. I think you are right. He probably needs a year to acclimate to a new learning environment, and a new social environment that is attached to learning (something he wouldn't be used to from being home schooled). Another thing to consider is friends: All of the kids in 1st grade will probably already know each other, and it will be one more possible way for him to feel like an outsider. Worst case if you send him to Kindergarten - He is smarter than the other kids. Worst case if you send him to 1st - He is unable to acclimate, and has to repeat. I wouldn't want to risk my child feeling like they failed at something, when it was really me putting them in a situation to do more than should be expected of them.
My vote: Kindergarten

1 mom found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

He is going to be bored in Kindergarten. My son started Kindergarten at 5 (he is a June baby so was the youngest child in class). He was bored. I did not home school but he went to a private pre-school from ages 3 to 5 and learned everything there that they covered in Kindergarten. Mine would ask me - "Mommy, why so I need to learn the letter Q again" or whatever letter they were on that week...he was already reading also. So he had some behavior issues - he would get bored and go sit under the table and play. They would get back in seat - he would finish the work in half the time than it took the other children - and he would go back under the table.

The school had suggested I start him off in 1st grade and skip Kindergarten - I decided against it because he was so much younger than his classmates - regretted it later!

If your son is already reading a 2nd level - do you really think he will not go stir crazy learning "cat" again in Kindergarten? You have given him an excellent foundation - better than most Kindergartens. Be proud of your son's abilities and let him start in the 1st grade.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Def go for the Kindergarten... the expectations for children in grade 1 are based on developmental stages and while he may be there he will not be with his age group and peers. There is sufficient stimulation in a kindergarten program and teachers who see children who are a bit more advanced will provide additional stimulation. If you fast track him he will be graduating into highschool when he is way too young. My husband was moved ahead in school and he said it was the biggest mistake ever!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Another strong vote for Kindergarten.

This from a Mom whose kids were reading between 3 1/2 and 4 -- school is not just about academics it is social skills and societal skills and when being involved parents combined with a good classroom teacher, even in public school, there is a way to keep him academically challenged while letting have the fun and lessons of kindergarten.

My main thought is not about this coming year, it is for when he is in junior high and high school, which sounds like it is so far away, but really isn't. Socially, emotionally and physically, life is so much harder for the middle schooler who looks and acts as if they should still be in elementary school. Where as now you can enrich his life with after-school activities you want him to learn about and grow in, then, in junior high there is nothing you can do to get him to hit his growth spurt any sooner.

This is a major decision in his life and once made, it will continue to have an impact on his life, daily. Ask yourselves where are we running to and what's our rush to get there.

Good Luck, this is a big moment.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Something else to think about.
Age and development make a big difference.
Sports are very helpful and important. By the time he
is in high school, he doesn't want to be the smallest
in the group. Being good at sports often helps with
everything else and keeping away from drugs, bad
kids etc and making friends
Also math skills usually come later than reading skills so it is good to be a bit older. A few months make a big difference as far as height and
other things.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.K.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think you are right. I'd rather have a kid who is ahead of his peers than one behind. Just because his reading and math skills are equal to first or second grade doesn't mean he should BE in first or second grade. If your son has only learned at home with your 'program' he may have a hard time going right into a stuffy classroom setting. He thinks learning is fun and that's awesome. In kindergarten the begining of the year is more 'freestyle' but as the year progresses the kids are moved toward the structured classroom enviornment. If you toss your son right into the first grade it will be a shock instead of a gradual change. He might be smarter than most kids in kindergarten but do you really want to put him in with kids who are older just because he's smart? I had cousins that skipped grades and they were treated like nerds. My step-daughter was held back and she, in 9th grade, is finally getting over not being smart enough to go to first grade. Keep him with his peers. Isn't our wish as parents that our kids be super smart and super talented. You're son IS super smart and super talented. There is no need to push him ahead just because you can.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions