Safety of Kids

Updated on July 05, 2011
A.S. asks from Santa Clara, CA
7 answers

Hi mamas!!

Ok, so one of my family members has 2 kids, we will call them Torin and Sonny (they are very young). Last year Torin seemed to get sick, and when mom brought him in she told us that the Dr. thought he had Cancer... Then we had to take the baby into the ER later that night because he wouldn't eat and was crying and such. Long story short, mom wouldn't let us in the room when she talked to the dr, and then came in crying saying the baby had cancer....Rewind, dads not around. His time with the boys has been sketchy from the beginning. He has some of his own issues, and from our perspective until recently, they were issues that made it not ok for the boys to see him much. Ok, back to mom- We found out (with hard evidence) that mom LIED from the beginning about the baby ever being sick. He NEVER had cancer. (this was after fundraisers and constant time with the kids) She also continued this lie after she was confronted. I'm at a loss. I'm worried about the kids safety. I need to know if there is any place I can go that would be willing to listen to the details of this story aside from Child Protective services....(let's just say I need more than that) Any ideas on what to do? This was not the only lie she's told by far and has at least a few people fooled who are close to her.... It's so sad. HELP!!!!!! (oh yes, and she's lied about Dad and now he can't hardly even see the kids....)

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your advice. But the truth is that there is sooo much more to this story than this. The kids are not in a healthy environment, but it seems that they have to be physically hurt before anyone will step in. I wouldn't be asking this question if CPS wasn't already called. But this lady is a liar and has some (not many, but enough) people who believer her. What she needs is help. Family meetings and offers of help have been denied to the point of her ignoring those who are trying to help her all together. I am totally worried for the children. Is there anyone out there who know somewhere that would advocate for the kids to get them into a safe environment? I would totally be willing to step in if necessary....

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

it's called Munchausen By Proxy...

It's a disease - the parent or whoever the person is - daughter, son, etc. gets attention and sympathy from people when their loved one is PRESUMED sick..

If there are bruises or you see mom doing something to make the child sick - there are people that do that - there was a W. in Florida -

http://articles.cnn.com/1999-10-07/us/9910_07_munchausen....

that was actually convicted of it and lost her child/ren...

it's a hard thing to do - but really? you need to step up and intervene...it might make you out to be the bad guy but the health and welfare of the children are at stake...I don't envy you your position...

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

What she did is FRAUD and she took people's money.
This is criminal.

The police/Law, need to know.

She is using her kids, for her own ends.

Are you documenting all of this?

2 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Agreed. Go to the police.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry to sound harsh but she sounds like a total whack job...you need a family intervention asap. If nothing comes of that, I think your only option is to go to CPS and see what they can uncover. You can be a witness in court for the kids if needed.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Call the police. If she has accepted donations and had fundraisers for a child with cancer - that is fraud and she will be punished.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree that calling the police is an option. If she did fundraisers for this child and took the money and used it...uh, that's stealing and fraud. Call the cops. Other than that you don't have a ton of options. Do you think she could have Munchausens or do you think she's just crazy and greedy? I think CPS is really the best option.

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S.G.

answers from Dallas on

Here's the thing. If you KNOW (by first hand info) that the children are being harmed you have a legal obligation to notify CPS. The lies themselves are not harmful to the children, but are scarily close to Muchausen Syndrom by Proxy, in which a mother will intentionally make her child sick for the attention. Meaning they will poison, etc. the child to create sickness. Unfortunately just having a crazy mom (even this crazy) isn't CPS worthy. While you are legitimately concerned, and I totally get you not wanting to wait until the kids ARE hurt, BAD, before contacting authorities ack yourself if you are comfortable being responsible for the children being in foster care OR never seeing them again if they aren't and mom finds out it was you.
To answer your exact question though, CPS is it..... no one else has authority to step in.

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