Yesterday we brought home our new baby girl, Lorelei! We are thrilled, she is beautiful and healthy. She is joining us and our 2 year old son and we couldn't be happier!
runts,
I've done this before, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it! I'm wondering from others how to handle night time with my new little one.....
I know newborns are noisy sleepers, I remember this from my son. There's various grunts, chirps, gurglings, etc. But it's very hard to tell what's what and when I'm needed and not. I have lots of trouble sleeping through all this noise and the anxiety of should I be attending to her or letting her be (since she's not crying.) My husband thinks we should put her in her room (and thinks we did this with our son after a few nights like last night as well) and when she cries we of course go tend to her. But to sleep right through all of the other noises. I worry that I should be assisting her before she gets to crying stage or that she's awake in there and I should be interacting with her anytime that she is (since she's sleeping most of the day away.)
What's everyone's take on responding to a newborn at night? Anyone else put them in their own crib/room right away? I would obviously respond to all cries at her age, but how about just sleeping through the other noises? What's everyone else's approach? Please read my SWH....?
Sounds like most are saying to wait for the cries - which I kind of expected. Most times last night I watched her making noises - she was still sleeping - though of course in a less deep sleep state.
SO - what's a reasonable amount of time or "bedtime" at which I could lie her down and only respond to cries and needs (rather than playing and socializing)? We're up by 6:30 am with my son and he's in bed by 8:00 pm. So by 6:30 we would be taking her out into the living room with us, exposing her to daylight, noises, etc. But then, what would be a reasonable time to lie her down for the night (obviously not expecting that she would sleep the whole time, but thinking we will meet her needs and keep placing her back in bed for more sleep until the 6:30 am time.)
My babies slept with me in my bed for a few weeks at least. Then they went to the bassinett, and finally their rooms.
Right or wrong, it's what worked for me and my kids - so it was perfect.
I don't respond to the little noises, just the cries.
My take? He had just come out of my body, so I wasn't okay with sending him to his own room. We didn't get in his face every time he cooed, but we made sure that he felt that we were always near. I was pretty much a kangaroo.
Of course, each kid is different and has his own needs, so....
With a newborn infant, the priorities are:
feeding on demand
comforting
changing diapers
knowing that your sleep is lack of sleep once you have a baby
and listening to and knowing your baby's cues.
When my kids were infants, I responded to them at night the same way I did during the day.
Of course at night I was quieter about it.
I knew when baby was hungry. And I nursed on demand. 24/7, day and night. And I knew when they were just making noises.
I carried them, sang to them, put them in the crib or not, held them and slept through their noises and woke and went to them when I knew they needed me.
Both my kids, were in our room in a crib, as babies. Not away in another room. I wanted to be able to HEAR them, and be keen on their cues.
If they were put in another room, I would not hear them. As a Mom, one ear is always kept open... to hear my kids.
I focused on their sleep. Not mine.
Our son stayed in our room for weeks.
I had this (perhaps irrational feeling) that in his own room he was so small and all alone and I just could not bear the thought of him being so far away (it was just across the hall).
I can remember weeping out about it.
I was totally majorly into maternal postpartum hormones.
If you feel comfortable putting her in her room, she should be fine.
If you want to keep her close to you, that would be fine too.
What ever makes you happy!
I'd agree with your husband, to move her to her own room. You'll be a better mama if you can sleep through those cute but insignificant noises she'll make. Your ears are functioning on a high level right now, so you'll surely respond quickly when she cries at night. I'm very anxious about responding and wake up to any baby sound, but I learned a better rested mama goes farther than being able to say she sleeps in a bassinet right next to you.
I was lucky and my son always knew night time meant bedtime. When he woke up, I'd nurse, change diaper if necessary, and rock/walk him back to sleep or close to sleep. I functioned with one little lamp, so it was still very dark. I didn't interact other than the nursing, I didn't gaze into his eyes, make kissy faces, talk to him. I definitely didn't turn the TV on! He learned quickly that he got way more attention during the day and nighttime wasn't the time for play. Personally, I'm a believer that you should try to keep the baby awake more during the day if they want to be awake all night. I wouldn't be mean of course, but I'd just try to keep baby stimulated and hold off excessive napping in the effort to get them sleeping more at night.
PS-Congrats!! We've had a boy and are expecting a girl! SUPER lucky!!
My DD stayed with us til about 4 months old. I learned to sleep through the minor noises and wake up when she really fussed.
I slept through everything but the cries, and even then I didn't always fully wake up. My husband laughs as some of the things I said as I was feeding our son in the middle of the night.
If she needs you, she'll let you know. Crying is not bad (excessive crying is, but a little bit is not), it is merely her only form of communication.
If you want to put her in her own room, go for it. We have a very large bedroom, and we both felt better with the baby with us, but there's nothing wrong with either decision.
Good luck & blessings!
Congrats on the baby! I would put her down at 8:30 or 9:00. That way, you can nurse/feed her around 11:00/11:30 pm, hopefully not again until around 3:00 am, and then when you normally wake up at 6:30 am. Try hard not to let her "snack" on you during these night feedings - she needs that hind milk to hold her longer (your front, or fore milk is very thin and easily digestible so that she will wake hungry sooner than if you nurse her longer.) A way to do this is to only give her one breast and have her empty if as soon as you get all your milk in and find that you are full. The next time she wakes, give her the other.
I would make sure that there are regular noises going on in the house for daytime sleeping. That includes music, TV, vacuum cleaner, toilets flushing. The last thing you want is to have to keep things quiet for baby during the day, because it makes it harder for her to learn the difference in day and night (lots of newborns have their night and days mixed up anyway). Plus, it will come back to bite you in the rear later when she's bigger. :)
I have to say that my kids didn't make all these noises your baby is making LOL! (Every baby is different!) However, I kept my babies in a bassinet beside my bed for the first 6 weeks. The crib was too big and the were very comfortable in a smaller space. I did NOT want them to co-sleep (far too afraid of SIDS, and I mean that) but I wanted them close, plus I was nursing. At 6 weeks, they were established and I moved them to the crib and night weaned because they were past 12 pounds. (My ped told me I could night wean and sleep train them at 12 pounds. I had to go back to work, and having to deal with people's money, I could NOT afford to be making mistakes for them, or me! So I HAD to get sleep!) They slept through the night in 4 nights, both of them.
I will say that you should give her a chance to settle herself when she cries out - don't grab her at the first sound. Getting her on an 11, 3 and 6:30 schedule is your very best bet to get her used to night time right away, and on your way to dropping one feeding (3:00 am) and eventually the 11:00 pm feeding when she is bigger.
Good luck!
Dawn
Other noises - just babies being babies. We didn't respond to everything as we didn't want the baby to figure that we would appear on demand.
We had our little man sleep in that bassinet thing that scoots right up to bedside for about 2 -3 months. At 4 months we sleep trained.
Been rainbows and puppies ever since. :)
Give it a few days - you'll get back in the swing of what needs to be answered and what doesn't. It's only been 24 hours...
Good luck! :)
All four of mine went into their own room the night they came home. All those little, grunts and other noises made me crazy. The first one spent one night in our room and then I realized I would never get any sleep. Second night in her own room! When she cried went in immediately. I think we were much better off that way.+
