Where Should the New Baby Sleep?

I highly recommend the babies own room- I tried having the crib in my room but I jumped up at every sigh and after 2 weeks the baby went into her own room. I kept a nice recliner in there and often slept myself while breastfeeding. but to this day my children love their room and always refused to sleep in mine even when I tried to bring them in when they were sick.

I would definitey recommend trying to get your new little one to sleep in the crib right away. We had our first in December and she slept on my chest in the rocking chair for the first four weeks (because I was too tender-hearted to let her cry in her crib even for a few minutes) and it was very difficult to get her to transition to sleeping on her own in the crib after that (I can see why - the crib is a little colder than I was!)

I ended up sleeping in her room on the floor for another 2 weeks and then gradually was able to get back to my bed again!

I ended up using a "swaddle me" from Target - they are great! I also put the shirt that I wore during the way over the side of the crib so she could smell "me" and think I was there.

I also have been reading the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth (local Chicago pediatrician) and it has really been helpful - I would recommend it, as many women in my Mom's groups also swear by it.

Good luck and stay strong from the beginning - sleep is the most important thing for both of you early on!

Hi N.! I'm not sure if you're planning on bottle-feeding or nursing. I bottle fed my 10-month old. From the moment he came home from the hospital, we put him directly into his crib. Given, our room is right next to his. However, he did perfectly fine from day one. He looked SO tiny in his crib, but he took right to it! He only woke up, at the most, twice a night! He was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. We went this way so there we didn't have to worry about him getting too comfortable sleeping elsewhere and then not wanting to transition into his crib. Although, I'm sure there are plenty of moms who say the transition was easy. Also, keep in mind that regardless of where the baby sleeps, you will truly hear every breath he or she takes through the monitor! Good luck and enjoy bringing this new little miracle home with you!!

I had mine in the bassinette for a month. Then we put her in her room in her crib. If you wait too long to move baby they become acquainted with their surroundings and won't sleep in their own room without sometimes hours of crying. Don't wait too long!

I would recommending putting the baby in his/her own crib. I tried the bassinet thing for about 2 days and I was always so worried to wake the baby and also it gives you a little alone time with your husband and with yourself. Our daughter never slept with us and has always slept in her own room and we have never had any trouble with her taking naps or going down for the night. She knows that is her space. It definetly is up to you but I think you and your baby would benefit well from this. Anyway good luck with your bundle!!

Hi N.,

my experience is, you really won't know until you have the baby home :) Some are good sleepers right from start. Each of my kids were different (4). My son was very needy, and was hungry a lot... he was failing to thrive on my breastmilk, so we switched to formula, and even then he needed to eat every 3-4 hours for what seemed forever. My husband is the only one working, and he wakes up at the slightest noise, so it just wasn't fair in my opinion to keep the baby in our room for MY convenience... I could nap during the day, and he couldn't... so we kept him in for the first two weeks in a bassinet, since my husband took two weeks off work to be with us, then he went into his room, still in the bassinet (actually it was a pack'n'play with the bassinet conversion deal) and while my husband would still wake up when the baby made noise, he was able to fall back asleep quickly because the monitor was off and I was taking care of baby in his room - that was easier anyway, because that is where the glider is. Now, my little girl who is 4 months, is sleeping through the night and only occassionaly wakes up at around 3 am.

I was never able to sleep with baby in our bed, i gave it a shot while breastfeeding, but I woke up one time and the baby was completely covered with a blanket - from that point on, there was no way i would ever do it again. Co sleepers are safer since the baby is in their own extension of your bed and are for the most part safe from being accidentally covered and smothered.

If you and your husband are light sleepers (and keep in mind... your sense of hearing seems to become more sensitive once baby comes home :)) then the little grunts and groans could wake you... the term 'sleeping like a baby' is very deceiving.. their sleep doesn't seem very restful at all :)

So ultimately, the best decision can only be made once you and baby are home, and you discover what kind of baby you will have. I would put off purchasing a co-sleeper until you know you will be going that route (in my opinion).

I wouldn't do crib right from the start either... for our baby, even at 4 months, it seems to be too vast for her comfort - it's like they can sense the large open space. Mine is still sleeping in her bassinet, but we're approaching the switch into her crib... we just have to get her big brother out of it... (they are 13 months apart). But now that she's rolling onto her side a lot, i'm afraid she'll roll over in her bassinet and it's 'mattress' is not as firm as i'd like, so it's getting hazardous.

Good luck to you in finding your groove... congrats on your pending arrival :)

We did the bassinet in our room with the first. With every sigh and twitch, I was up. We quickly moved her to her own room in the crib. We rolled up a blanket and divided the crib in two sections, so she would still feel like she was in a smaller area. Once she grew bigger, we took the blanket out and layed her longways (hope that makes sense). We did the same thing with our other two daughters and never looked back. They all slept in the cribs, with a small nightlight behind the chair on the other side of the room (pretty dark). Didn't have too much trouble transitioning them to toddler and then big girl beds when they were ready either.

Good luck! It's all new and you'll get tons of different advice. Go with what you feel is best and it will all turn out fine.

I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and it says it's ok to have the baby in a bassinet or co-sleeper (if you are nursing)for the first few months . After that the baby gets used to the sounds and smells of their room or your room and will want to sleep there. So, I would recommend having the baby in the crib if you can do it:)I put my twins in their cribs from the start and it was the best thing for later issues.Good Luck!

Dear N.,

I have just had my second child and with both children I've never put them in the room with me and definitely not in the bed for the very reasons you point out. I find getting them straight into their crib and building the routine around the crib is much better for me and my family. I keep bedtimes as unstimulating as possible and that way my little one only wakes for a feed and diaper change and then it's straight back to his room. He now cries very little, if at all, when I put him back to his crib. This has worked extremely well for me and both children seem settled into their routines very well.

We started putting our son in his crib the day we came home from the hospital and it was great. I don't have any problem with co-sleeping per se, but I think that it's very important for a husband & wife to have time alone together... I didn't feel like we would have that if the baby was constantly next to us. Plus I was home with him all the time for many months (teaching evenings part time at the time) and after you spend all day long taking care of baby, by nighttime you'll be ready for some time to yourself (at least I was).

We used a baby monitor so that we would hear him wake up right away at the slightest sound. We checked on him all the time, like first time parents will do. It is hard nursing all night long and going back & forth between wherever you're nursing & the baby's room... so having the bassinet might be nice. I usually nursed our son in my bed and then carried him back to his crib in his room. which was right next door to ours.

I'm expecting our 2nd baby this july & am planning to do the same thing this time... baby will sleep in her crib from day 1. I don't see the point of spending so much money on a bassinet or co-sleeper that baby will quickly outgrow, but lots of people love them and have had great experiences. I guess you should consider how far away your room is from the baby's room & where you'll be nursing during the night (living room on the couch, a rocker in baby's room, in your bed...).

Hope this helps. Good luck. it will all work itself out once baby comes home : )

Hi N.,

Congrats on your upcoming arrival!

For both of our girls, we used a mini co-sleeper next to our bed for the first few months and then moved them to their cribs as their intervals of sleep became longer at night and as they went to bed earlier. For the first few months (especially the first few weeks) it is just so much easier having them just a few feet away...particularly if you are breastfeeding.

What we did also was have them nap during the day in their actual cribs so that it would not seem foreign to them as we made the change at night.

We did not want to have them in the bed with us as well for safety reasons and, from what I have been told and read, it starts a habit that is very difficult to break.

Hope this helps and good luck!!!

C.

I'm an older mom. So here's my advice, and I saw a couple respond this way. Do what your heart tells you. I honestly can say that I added to the disintegration of my marriage by listening to everyone's advice. Although I am happily remarried, one of the issues in my first marriage was about where the children should sleep. I had two, and they turned out to be so different. One nursed, the other wouldn't. Listen to everyone then do what works for you. And always talk it out with your husband. And if you are really, really tired, that might not be the time to prove the point or talk about anything else. Oh just enjoy your children no matter where they end up sleeping. Now they are sleeping on the floor with twenty of their friends and that issue seems so long ago. Congratulations to you! S.

Hi N., I thought I would put her right in her crib, but a friend gave me a GIANT bassinett that she wasn't using that wound up being perfect for us. We kept it next to our bed on my side so I was able to wake with her. I would then take her to the nursery to nurse (as I was super uncomfortable trying to do that in bed) and then back down she went. We used this arrangement for the first 6 months! At that point, we determined that her normal night noises were waking us up, but she was asleep, so off to the crib she went- and we didn't have any trouble with that at all. There are a number of pack and plays that have a bassinett built in with a diaper station also so you'll get more longgevity out of them that way. Also, ifyou haven't already read it, I highly recommend you read Elizabeth Pantley's "The no-cry sleep solution" while you still have a functioning brain- it will do wonders to help you!

Hi! We purchased the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper when our daughter was born and thought it was great. She was in her own little bed but right next to me - all the convenience but no worries that we would roll over on to her. This set-up made it particularly easy for when I needed to nurse her (especially since that is every 2 hours in the beginning!). We considered a bassinet, but the thing about them is you use them for a couple of months and that's it. But the Co-Sleeper converts into a playpen/pack-n-play type deal, which we still use to this day and our daughter is over 2 years old (it makes a great travel bed for grandma's house). So it was well worth the $135 we spent on it! When we decide to have baby #2, we'll just convert it back to the sleeper and away we go.

Once my daughter was about 2 months old, we moved her into her crib. Making the transition was pretty easy. She was taking all of her naps in the crib already, so she was used to sleeping in her bed. Soon we will be ready for the next transition - a big-girl bed - that will be interesting!

Hope this was helpful and congrats on your pending new arrival! : )

First of all, congratulations on your little peanut debuting this fall! That is so exciting! We just had our first baby Jan. 2008. We went the bassinet route, and I love it. I am still breastfeeding him and he just goes right to sleep in his bassinet next to our bed. It was easiest in those first few weeks to just stay in bed and get him from the bassinet in order to nurse him. He is now sleeping 10 hours at night, and quickly outgrowing the bassinet (he's getting lllooonnnggg!). I am not looking forward to the night we put him in his crib for the first time. I know he's only a hallway away, but it's so comforting knowing all I have do is peek into his bassinet to see him sleeping. This has worked for us...if nothing else just give it a try and if it's not working for you, go to the crib (parenting is all about trial and error!). It's really whatever you'll be most comfortable with. Good luck, being a Mom is the most amazing adventure! I love every minute of it!

Alexander Graham Bells wife put the baby in a dressor drawer on the bed because she was deaf.

I used a bassenett, our bed, the crib next to our bed with the side down. I am a family bed person. Our society is sick and thinks it is not normal. Other cultures have the family bed life style and their children are happier and less agressive. It also helps you sleep easier if they are right there and you do not have to walk between rooms.

It is a hard decision but you will work it out.

Different things work for different people, but this worked well for us. For each of our three children, the baby slept in a cradle in our bedroom for the first three months. I had a rocker in there as well and some diapers/wipes, so I could just get out of bed, change the diapers, nurse the baby and put him/her right back in the cradle. I liked the baby being close to check on in the night, too. The transition to the crib in their own room worked well as I brought the rocker in their room, and just did the same routine (but obviously less times in the night as the baby got older). Good luck!

If you decide to have the baby sleep in your room, I woudl also recommend setting up a changing area, as well. If your pack-n-play has a changing station on it, that would work really well. You will very likely be changing diapers in the middle of the night for several months. :)

Our baby slept in his room from the start and it was never a hassle to get up and go to him. For me, it wasn't difficult to wake up, go get his bottle of expressed breastmilk and come back upstairs and feed him; it was just part of being a parent and we got used to it rather quickly. It's not like the kitchen was a mile away! We were also very lucky because our baby never liked warm milk - he took it straight from the fridge!

We started him out in the crib and that didn't work out so well, so for the first seven weeks he slept in his bouncy seat. At week eight, we tried the crib again and he went in just fine.

At four months I learned just how glad I was that my son was never in the same room to sleep at night. I took him on a trip with me and he slept in the pack and play in the same room with me. I heard every little teeny tiny sound and awoke in a panic each time thinking something was wrong. I can't imagine the anxiety I would have had, on top of PPD, if I had that worry every night. At the same time, I can fully understand that if the baby is in the room with you from the getgo that many people can distinguish between the sounds and it would only affect them in the beginning.

We chose to never bring our baby into bed with us (and in 15 months, we have never had to) because it is just something that is not appropriate or doable for our family. My husband has a very demanding job and gets paged like crazy all night long. I didn't want the pager waking the baby and I didn't want the baby waking daddy because, quite frankly, the people my husband serves need a well-rested and attentive professional. I also never wanted to have to 'kick out' the baby; many of my friends did the family bed and then complained about it because the kid was still in the bed at 3, 4, 5 years old and were having problems getting their kids to sleep in their own beds. Again, for other families this practice was okay. It just did not and would not work for us.
Whatever you decide to do, just keep an open mind and be flexible. You might want things to be one way and the baby could want something entirely different.

Just quickly, we had our daughter in our room in a bassinet for the first 9 weeks. Then she just kind of decided to go to her crib on her own. Just make sure to get your child to start sleeping in the crib for naps as soon as possible for an easy transition.

i see that you have gotten quite a few responses already but i still thought i would put in my two cents! :) I had both of my kids in the room with me for at least the first 2-3 months. That worked best for us but if the nursery is close to your room and you have a comfortable place to sit for feedings, that is another route too. I am due with our third in November and plan on doing the same as the first two. If you do decide to have your baby sleep in your room (at least until you get into a routine...(which is what I've found to be easiest) I would opt against a bassinet (unless you already have one available). Even a mini co-sleeper (the kind that look like a pack-n-play only smaller) have pretty high weight limits( I've seen up to 15 lbs for the newborn insert, and up to 30 once that is removed) so even when your little one is in his or her own room you can use the fold up co-sleeper for naps or travel (these are such a live saver for travel!!!!!). So congratulations and good luck!

I was new to all of it too. I was so worried about not doing the best for my baby and for us. After having my daughter, I really believe that they kind of lead you a little. She slept in a bassinet in our room and at about 6 weeks, went to the crib. We slowly started with naps in the crib so the transition was easy. I think every baby is different and you will do just fine. I hope this helps!

When we had our first, we ended up just putting her in her crib right away because she wasn't liking the basinet. But when our son was born, he loved the bassinet, so we let him sleep in there until he was about 3 months, then moved him into his crib.

when both of my children were baby's my oldest almost 12 and my baby almost 5years old. With both of them they sleep in a bassanet for the first couple of months i felt it was safer for them and it was easy to roll the bassanett in the other room for late night feeding sometimes i would fall asleep on the couch and baby would sleep comfortable in the bassaneet at the end of the couch. I think after a a month or so it is a great ideal to put your child in their crib in a room by their self it will help them ajust and get comfortale with their new sorronding because it is very important right away to start trust me it in my opinion it will help out in the long run.

We loved the bassinet in our room right next to my side of the bed. When the baby was up every 2 hours to eat this made it easy for me to nurse and get right back to sleep - which felt SO important to my sanity :). Our bassinet had a space underneath and we kept wipes, diapers and extra PJs in there - all essential all night long - so that was really helpful too! We kept our little one there until she was about 4 months before moving her to her own room and crib.

I was still living with my mother when I had my son, so we had to share a room. My mom and brother were worried that me being a deep sleeper wouldn't wake up right away, and I was too to be honest. My son had the quietest cry. It sounded like a soft bah. However, I did wake up at the slightest noise. And stopped my mother from poking my son to make sure he was still breathing. Sounds crazy until you start waking your baby up to cry and reassure yourself that they're alive. I could hear a faint whistle when my son was breathing which is the only reason he wasn't poked.

I would get up immediately with my son when he woke up (more often waking him up), change his diaper, and then nurse him in bed. My son slept through the night since day one, but since he was already on the light side for such a tall baby I nursed him every 2 hours until he would start to do on-demand feedings. By on-demand I mean he was able to wake up and cry on his own for feedings and would nurse for a long enough time to get good amount of food.

Luckily, after a week he started to do on-demand feedings but he took his sweet time nursing. I pumped one side while I nursed him off the other, and switched sides at least once per feeding. I could get a longer nap in once my son's father was there after work and he'd feed the baby breastmilk in a bottle. The only reason I nursed him in bed was because I was so tired I was afraid of dropping him or something while sitting. We both nodded off a bit sometimes during the first few weeks, but I would always wake up when he was done. I'd burp him, and change his diaper again if necessary and put him back in the crib.

However, I did sometimes spend nights over at my father's place (my parents are divorced). When I went to there, I would take a portable crib and sleep with that next to my bed. The portable cribs nowadays are so much easier than my portable. Some even have a changing table. They don't hold too much weight so you end up using it basically when their real young, but you'll get lots of use out of the portable otherwise. You can set it up so the baby can be sleeping in whatever room you're in. I know I never let my son out of my sight for the first half a year. I didn't start using the baby monitor until he was about 6 months.

Sorry about rambling on. Good luck, and congrats!

When we had our first son, 7 years ago, we did not know where to put him either. I had had a c-section, so I was sore. Well - when we decided to go to bed that night - we tried to put him in the pack & Play, and we pulled out our sofa-bed! Didn't work....then we tried to go into our bedroom and put him in the bassinet that we just had to have...didn't work, then we ended up putting him in his crib in his own room and guess what???That finally worked and that is what we did from then on. The bassinet never was used (until a friend borrowed it), but we did use the pack & play for during the day. The crib was for only at nite. I hope this helps! Those first couple of nites can be strange & exhausting & emotional & wonderful and the best times you will ever have! Good Luck!!
M. M

hi!
co sleeping has been a wonderful expierence for us (id imagine that we would have had the same outcome if we used a co sleeper, but we didn't have enough room on the side of the bed for one).
with this arrangement, i have lost very little sleep and my husband has lost none! baby and my sleeping cycles seem sinked up. as soon as baby starts to rouse to eat, i nurse her before either of us are fully awake (or agitated from crying) therefore falling back asleep has been a sinch! i keep diapering supplies next to the bed so i never have to get up. after about 3 weeks there was never a night where she didn't fall back asleep right away.
ive just begun reading dr sears book night time parenting which is very pro co sleeping but also has good advise on sharing a bedroom with baby and a comprehendable explanation of how a babys sleeps differently than adults.
best of luck and congrats in advance!!

N.:

congratulations on the upcoming birth of your first child.

the closer the child is too you the easier night feedings will be.

know that no one has ever - under normal circumstances - rolled over on their child... it does not happen.. again, under normal circumstances.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

HI N.,

I'm the working mom of 3 and I nursed them all. My suggestion is this. Keep the baby in a basinet next to your bed. If you are nursing, how easy to do the feedings. (Some of my friends who bottle fed kept a mini fridge of formula in their bedroom so they wouldn't have to trounce up and down stairs.) Babies, at least mine, slept soundly as newborns, so I'd get the sleep I needed and wouldn't have to expend unnecessary energy getting up and going to their room.

Also, habits aren' formed until around 6 months. So those first few months of having baby in your room is no big deal. I kept all 3 of my kids in the bassinet in our room until they didn't fit it in any more...(3 months or so). NONE of them had sleep issues or sepearation anxiety, and believe me, as a working mom, I was worried. Hope that helps. KEEP IT SIMPLE!!! All the baby wants is you and if he/she is near you, you'll be more relaxed and inclined to sleep well, too!

Hello - anything you can do in the first few months to help you both sleep is best. Baby won't learn any bad habits. We had baby in our room (not bed) till she was 3 months old and then moved her to a crib in her own room. A bit before her big move, I would get her used to it. Put her in it for a nap, or just to look around... We all slept better (but not great!) since my baby is a light sleeper and would wake up when we moved our feet! Perhaps you can start putting her in her crib when she is 8 weeks old. I would not put her in a crib from the start - it is too hard and I truly think a newborn needs to have her parents close at all times.

For me, a lot of it depended on nursing. I wanted to make establishing/maintaining it (after going back to work) as simple as possible, so it was helpful having the baby right there. I chose a co-sleeper that detached from the bed and turned into a bassinet. After about six months, we got baby her own crib in another room.

I put both of my daughters in a bassinet in our room. My 1st was in there until she didn't fit at about 3 months and my 2nd was in there for about 2 months. It was nice because you're up so often in the beginning anyway. Plus, at first I woke at any sound she made so it was nice just to lean over and check. I had no problems with them going into their own crib after.

With our first daughter, we had her in a basinette in our bedroom. We got virtually no sleep because everytime she flinched, we would wake up thinking she was waking up. After two weeks of this, we put her in her crib in her room down the hall and used the monitor. This worked out much better for all three of us.

Good luck and congrats!

Hi N.,

We have an 8 week old (our first) and we've had her in a cradle in our room so far. It's been wonderful.
Early on, we could bring a little cooler with her bottles into our room at night so we didn't have to go downstairs in order to feed her and it worked great. Now that she is starting to sleep through the night, we no longer bring the bottles up with us.
Having her be right by our bed has been great in the peace of mind department. It has also been helpful in learning the little noises she makes and what they mean.

Good luck!

I nurse so with all three of my newborns, I had them in a bassinet next to my bed. Being that I did nurse, eventually and inevitably they all ended up being in bed with me. But, there was no way that I could get up every two hours and go into another room to get them and nurse. I plan on doing the same when my 4th comes at the end of July. When they got to be 3-4 months, and were sleeping longer through the night, I moved them to their own crib in their own room. I never used a nightlight as babies with any of them, but I did use an air purifier or humidifier as white noise. As far as feedings, I stay at home, so I always still get up with everyone, but since none of my kids were partial to the bottle, I had to get up to feed them anyway. The one thing that I will say that is the most important thing to remember is that no matter what your plan is, you HAVE to be flexible, because that baby has it's own little ideas and every kid is different. A lot of the best laid plans go away when the baby is born, because you have to work with the baby and it's personality. Otherwise there's a lot of frustration for you and the baby.
Motherhood is the best, but it does require a lot of planning on the fly. Congrats and good luck!

Hi N.- Motherhood will come naturally to you & your instincts will kick in once you meet your baby for the first time. What a pleasure & joy. I had twins & used the bassinet portion of our pack n play for the first few months. I'm still nursing both of them, but I found it easy to have them right next to me & just pick them up when they are hungry, nurse them, & they fell asleep right away & I'd put them back in the bassinet. I would recommend the bassinet of a pack n play & then you can save on the cost of not buying a mini co-sleeper. Congratulations!!!

hi-
i see you have a lot of advise but here's mine to add:
we used the mini arm's reach for 8 months.
i could hear and see my daughter. i could touch my daughter.
but most of all, i would simply pick her up, nurse her, burp her
(in the beginning) and she would go right back down.
we were never up with her in the middle of the night beside feeding until she was 2. my husband never had to get up!( until her first illness) we will definitley be using it again with our next. i would put the baby in bed with me early morning, but that is because i felt comfortable with it. ever since she has had her own bed and room ( about 8 months)
she is happy there and rarely wants to sleep with us. we do love when she comes in to wake us up :)
good luck!!!

While our son was in his cradle he was in our room but when he went to his crib he moved to his own room.

Good Luck on your new Blessing.

N., you may want to look into a play pen with a top attached bassinet. They can be really helpful as you can have changes of clothes and diapers stored in the bottom. The new baby sleeps on top until about 15 pounds. Graco makes an excellent variety of colors to chose from. The other benefit is you have a place to keep baby near you when born and a portable pack-n-play for later visits to Grandma's or friends! I had one for my boys and it was fantastic! Good luck! G.

Do you plan on breastfeeding? If you do, you'll want to keep your baby as close to you as possible at first. There are many options here. You could keep the baby in their crib, and use a baby monitor, but you may lose a lot of sleep, because you'll most likely go to their room, feed them there, put them to sleep, and then return to your own room. Another option is to keep them in a bassinet or co-sleeper in your room. This is a great option, because they're close to you & you can see them, so you won't freak out if you don't hear them breathing (most new moms don't trust baby monitors). You can easily pick them up and bring them to bed to breastfeed, & you can either put them back in the bassinet, or keep them next to you. I was freaked out about that option too, until I actually tried it. You may find that you're not able to sleep too well unless you know your baby's okay. And you won't roll over on them, your motherly instincts will kick in, & you'll actually both sleep more soundly this way. Your breathing will actually synchronize. When they're hungry again, you can just roll over & nurse on the other side, & go right back to sleep. This was my favorite option, because it got my daughter used to falling asleep on her own (in the bassinet), but I could nurse all night without having to wake up. I got a lot of sleep this way, & the bonding was incredible. If the rolling over possibility really scares you, you could get one of those sleeper things to put in the bed for baby, & that may give you peace of mind. Another option is to let the baby sleep wherever, & switch off feedings with your husband. If you're nursing, he can help by bringing the baby to you, then burping them & putting them back in bed when you're done. The best thing for you will probably be to try different things, and see what works best for you and your baby. Every family is different, and you may have an entirely different perspective once the baby comes than you do now. Keep an open mind, & know that you'll find a solution that works for your family eventually. Good luck!

N.,

We used a SAFE hand me down bassinet from my sister for all 3 of our boys. They stayed in there the first 3 or 4 months, then we moved them to their own cribs in their room. If after they grow out of the bassinet and you still want them to be close, you could just set the crib up in your room for a time. Then you wouldn't even need the bassinet. It all depends on your personal preference and what works best for you. This is what worked for me. Hope this helps a little.

K.

I have three children and what I did with mine is exactly what you were planning. I had for each one of them, put them in a bassinet in our bedroom and once they began sleeping through the night (about 3 months old) I put them in their crib. I never had the problem of them wanting to sleep in my room or crying about not being able to. And, at the time that I had my children, I didnt have a nursery monitor. All I had to depend on was my ears.

We used the mini co-sleeper which we loved. The only thing was that because I never really mastered breast-feeding in the side-lying position in bed, I always had to go somewhere (her bedroom or the family room) to feed her. I probably could have just let her sleep in her crib from the beginning and fed her in the middle of the night there, but I really felt better about her sleeping almost right next to me while she was still so little. And there were times she did end up in bed with us and she has no problem sleeping by herself now either (as a first time mom you worry that by bringing the baby to bed even a couple of times, you're going to ruin sleeping forever...but you won't!)
Good luck and enjoy!

I liked having the bassinet beside my bed. I could see my little sweetie but could still sleep well in my own bed. While I lean toward attachment parenting, I can't sleep is my bed is occupied by anyone else, so co-sleeping wasn't an option. I know some people put their baby in a crib right away. My experience was that a very tiny baby finds a crib too vast and needs something a little more enclosed. I also used an Amby bed which is like an enclosed hammock. It rocks when baby wakes and often soothes baby back to sleep. It is JPMA certified and recommended by Dr. Sears. One of my friends who had her second child (first was a great sleeper) called me when her second was not sleeping and I said she could borrow the amby bed. She was at my house in 20 mins (she lives in evanston and i live in oak park - so I think she was pretty desperate :)). the amby bed worked brilliantly for her.
So my suggestion is get a bassinet on wheels and put it by your bed so that you don't even have to get out of bed to see baby is okay. Then you are reassured because you can hear baby breath. Then when baby is a little older - maybe 3-4 months old, move baby into crib in own room.

i actually did both, so i can come from both sides of this issue. my daughter went into her crib in her own room from day one. we had a monitor set up so i could here everything. i put my glider in her room and that is were i nursed her, and changed diapers on the floor. that was easy to do for me. she slept thru the night at 2 weeks old. still to this day she sleeps great in her own bed/room.

my son was put into the pack and play at the foot of our bed. he was such a light sleeper sometimes that my husband's snoring would wake him or if the cats made any noise in our room he was up screaming. it was pure hell having him in my room. i was getting NO sleep at night and no naps or anything during the day.(my kids are 15 months apart)

but it is ultimately up to you on which way to do the sleeping arrangements. either way being a first time mom you will be up to even the slightest noise your child will make. but from the monitor you will learn a bit more quickly what noises need attention now or if the baby is just moaning and groaning. best of luck to you and congrats

I love my bassinet with wheels. We could roll it back and forth between her room and our room. If I was in bed, she would be in our room. If we were downstairs, I needed to put her in her room with the monitor.

The rolling bassinet worked perfectly. The bassinet actually could be removed from the frame, so I could take it downstairs if I wanted her to sleep in the family room during the day.

Good luck. I went back to work at 7 weeks with my first, at 9 weeks with my second, and finally stayed home when when the 3rd arrived. Try to get as much sleep as you can. Don't worry about the condition of the house, even when you are home on leave. You can clean when they are away at school.

Hi N.!
Go with your gut! Everyone has their own opinions and no one person is right. I listened to my parents the first time with everything. My husband and I felt they were most likely right because after-all they did raise children of their own, right. Who is to say. I now have three kids and not one of them did the same thing as babies and their sleep patterns.
Anyway....something in the room will casue a lot less back and forth but then later you have to issue of getting the baby to sleep in their own crib.
As a new mom there will be lots of times when you don't have a clue but just remember to do what feels right for you and your husband! You have the best interest of your family in mind and that is what really matters!
Good Luck!

For us, the bassinet right next to my side of the bed was the answer. Didn't seem to bother my husband, both my baby's slept great and I felt better being able to hear them in those initial weeks at home. I think they felt better too because they could hear us (remember they are leaving their wonderful warm environment). This made feedings so much easier too. I just sat up in bed and nursed. God Bless and Congratulations!

This is a good question! You are going to get some great ideas from people! In my experience, I used a swaddling blanket and put the baby in the crib right from the start. And when the baby is still getting up with more regularity, I had a blow up mattress on the floor with a bunch of comfy blankets and I would just snooze between feedings. Good luck!

Hi,

My sons age 4 and 6 both slept in a bassinet in my room until they were to big for it (about 4 months). I liked having them right there for feedings and diaper changes. My husband was off for a short time in the beginning and then went back to work. He always did the middle of the night diaper changes(even after he went back to work)We had diaper changing table in our bedroom. HTH

Hi. Just go with what feels best for you guys. My suggestion is to borrow a bassinet or co-sleeper from someone to try it out. We got our's at a garage sale and so it was cheap. Go thing too b/c we just could not handle having our daughter in the room. I woke up to every sound that she made and so I got little to no sleep. And then when she woke up to eat, I carried her into her room to nurse since I needed the light on at first to get used to it. So after about a week or two, our daughter just went into her room. She slept for awhile in her vibrating chair (that's a great one to get...there's one by fisher price that grows with them).

I know that doctor's say that being in the same room is the best for a baby to not get SIDS since hearing the mother breathe, or feeling it (if co-sleeping) keeps them for stoping breathing. It is all up to you. You may do great with the baby in the room or you may be like me and get no sleep. It was critical for me to get sleep so that I wouldn't fall into depression, so we had to work with that.

Definitely borrow what you can so that you can see how things really work for you without spending a ton and hating them...that goes for basically every baby item. We all end up buying something we thought that we would definitely need and then realize after the baby is there, it wasn't worth it.

Enjoy your new little one,
H.

I think it is all going to depend on how the baby is. Fow my first, she was smaller and petite, so the crib was just way to big for her to start in...she didn't like it. Plus she liked to be swaddled really tight. We didn't have a bassinet, so she ended up sleeping in her car seat next to my bed on the floor. I know it sounds bad, but really she slept best like that for a few months. For my son, I figured I would get a bassinet. Well he was a bigger baby, so he slept in there for a while, but quickly outgrew it. Plus I breastfed him, so he ended up either in our bed next to me or his crib. He LOVES his crib, so it was alot different experience than with my daughter! I think you are going to have to see after the baby is born and what works for you and the baby. They go through alot of phases, sometimes rather quickly, so what might work today might not work next week, etc. Good luck and congrats on the upcoming birth.

I did it a couple different ways. With my first I was able to put him in his crib and he slept there from day one. My second had tummy trouble so she did better when I laid her on her tummy on my just, propped my self up with pillows and made it so she couldn't roll off my chest. Then with the last two I slept in the family room on the couch with the baby in a moses basket. The first two I nursed to 6 months, the second two I bottle fed after nursing for only a few weeks. The family room is close to the kitchen and away from the bedrooms. So when the baby woke she/he wouldn't wake up the other sleepers in the house and I was able to turn on lights and the t.v. for my self. You'll have to see what works best for you and your husband and with going back to work. They do have those co-sleeping bassinets so you don't roll over on them, but I am very against co-sleeping. It starts a habit and I want my husband to myself.

Wow - So much advice! My first baby is just 10 weeks old and I am still so amazed and overwhelmed by all there is to think about!

Some great advice I received about sleeping: Follow your baby's lead, do what's right for you (even if you're not always sure about what is right for you!), try to relax and have fun with your baby, and hold them all you want - they'll never be this little again!

I went crazy reading all those baby books. (My husband forced me to put them away after a week!) The first six weeks are really hard and overwhelming, but eventually you will start to feel like yourself again and you'll get into a groove. Breastfeeding was really hard and painful in the beginning. I could not even figure out how to nurse in bed for the first month, so that was not even an option. Now I can, but it took a while (and light) to figure how to feed at night.

Good luck and have fun with your new baby!

N.,

We have an almost 8 week old daughter who sleeps in a co-sleeper next to me at night. I'm also in charge of all the night-time feedings (I'm breastfeeding), so it has worked out really well. I find that she goes back to sleep easier since there's not far to go once she's done eating. It's also easier for me to get back to sleep. We swaddle her at night, which also seems to help. She's only waking up once or twice at the most during the night, and has been for about 4 weeks. So for us the close proximity hasn't (knock on wood) caused any problems with her ability to sleep at night.

One thing I did have to adjust to is the night-time noises she makes while she's asleep. For the first while, I'd respond to every little peep, but I finally got the hang of what was a call for attention and what was just sleepy noise. I think I would have gotten up to check on her if she had been sleeping in another room with the monitor on, so being able to just roll over to see what's going on is still a lot easier. I also like the cuddly time we sometimes have in the morning when she wakes up.

I haven't gone back to work yet and am waiting to see if this arrangement will still work when I do.

One thing to remember is that you can try whatever sounds best now and change tracks if it doesn't work - doing what works for you and your baby is always the right thing. Best of luck!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!
We also had our little guy in his crib in his own room since day one. The baby makes all kinds of noises at night and if he does cry I hear him right away. I think it's a lot easier on the parents that way. We purchased a monitor with a camera so anytime I hear some kind of noise I look at the monitor first to see if he's ok, because lots of time he goes right back to sleep so I don't have to go in his room right away. Sam's Club has a wonderfull camera that you can attach to your baby's crib. But I agree with other people you have to do what feels right to you. Have fun!!!! A.;-)

i had my first in the room with us in a bassinet for the first month. then in their own room. sometimes you get a little parnoid that everything is ok with them even if they were born ok so you put them in their room right away

We used the Arm's Reach mini co-sleeper. We attached it to the side of the bed for the first three months because I was nursing and so much easier to get my daughter, nurse her and then put her back to sleep. Plus, I just loved having her so near to us. Then after three months, we put the side up on the co-sleeper so it was a mini-bassinet and put her at the end of our bed so she was still in our room. My husband and I just felt more comfortable having her in the room with us. We finally put her in her crib in her room when she was about 6 months.

Congrats to you!

IMO, it is simply easier to have the baby in your room.

Newborn babies, whether breastfed or bottlefed wake up a lot at night. It will save you the trip into the baby's room and also the worry when you wake up and wonder if baby is still breathing (even though this sounds crazy you will do it, trust me:) ) Bassinets are very cute so if you want one and money isn't an issue, then get one but they are really kind of a waste of money because baby grows out of them quickly. I would recommend using the bassinet insert in a portable crib. That way you have the portable crib for later. In our house we actually have one downstairs, one in our room, and the baby's crib in their room. That gives you some flexibility.

To clarify from other posts, if you choose to co-sleep there are certain rules for doing it safely and one is that you don't have any blankets on the bed. You also shouldn't put heavy blankets or stuffed animals in baby's bed. Just a light receiving-type blanket.

Good luck with whatever you decide. You can always change your mind later if what you do isn't working and I'm sure you will find what works best for you.

We used a mini co-sleeper for the first six months. It saved me a lot of sleep because I could easily check on my daughter and go right back to sleep. There were also many nights that she would start to fuss and by simply placing my hand on her she went right back to sleep. I do nurse, but never in bed, but co-sleepers would make it easier to bring the baby to you in bed, then slide the baby back into their own bed (if you are nursing of course). We transistioned my daughter to her crib in the next room at six months, when she outgrew the co-sleeper. The transition was effortless for us, honestly. We are absolutely planning on using the co-sleeper for our next child.

One thing I should add is that when my partner and I wanted "alone time" in the bedroom at night, we put my daughter in the pack and play that we set up in the living room (we mainly used it for the changing table part). She also napped in a swing in her room, so that gave us alone time during the day as well.

What has worked best for me is to start the baby in bed with me. It is sooooo much easier! Multiple nursings a night...but I slept through most of them! If you aren't comfortable with this, I highly recommend a co-sleeper (Arm's Reach is good) or a bassinet (or even a pack & play...or the crib!) in your room. Your baby will definitely have an opinion on this one. Sleeping with or next to your baby creates a great bond...especially when you'll be back to work in a few months. It gives you good "close time" even though you'll be apart during the day. Starting a baby in a crib in their own room is such a strange thing to me. It is purely a modern, American idea. Most of the rest of the world sleeps with their babies! For more info., you can google "Attachment Parenting". Good luck with your little one!

This is one of those things where you will need to do what works best for you. Everyone has a different opinion about sleeping arrangements, and it seems like the experts change their minds on a regular basis. I had originally planned on putting my daughter in her own room right away, but I couldn't handle having her out of my sight. Plus the waking up every two hours made it difficult. She ended up in my room in a pack 'n play which worked out really well. When she was 5 weeks old I noticed she just didn't seem to be as comfortable, so we moved her to her own crib in her room. She's been sleeping in there ever since (she's 9 months now). She started sleeping for longer stretches then.

Hi N.! I had a c-section so it was easier for me to sleep on the couch the first few weeks because our bed is up a lot highter and it was difficult for me to get in and out of. I kept my daughter in a bassinet for about 2-3 weeks and then when I started sleeping in my bed I started putting her in her crib. She DID NOT like it for about 1 week, she would cry after I put it in there and most nights for at least a good portion of the night I would either sleep in her room or on the couch. I was too tired to walk from my room to hers so it was just easier for a while. Then she started sleeping just fine in it, I just had to not regress and go back to the bassinet. They say babies like small, confined places, so that's probably why she liked the bassinet so much. Her crib probably seemed like a huge and lonely place after being so confined. I swaddled her also when she was in both and that also helped. Good luck and congratulations!!

I am a 42 year old mother of, 25, 23,and 15, so I have a lot of experience. I think for the first few months a bassinet in your room is perfect. That way you are more aware of when the baby needs your attention. Good Luck and congratulations!

My husband and I agreed to put our son in his own crib from day one and it has worked out very well. I borrowed a bassinet from a friend of mine and kept that downstairs for naps. My son began sleeping through the night consistently at around 4 months and I feel that getting him used to the crib from the beginning really helped. Good luck!

Hi - We started with our twins in a pack n play together in our room, but moved them into their own room and own cribs within about 2 weeks or so. The thing you have to know is that babies make noise & move around while they are sleeping, and while you might think you do, you really don't need to hear and respond to every single noise. A lot of times they are just readjusting and will go back to sleep on their own. We have never used a monitor, and the kids are 19 months old now. People can't believe that they sleep 12 hours a night, and have been sleeping 'through the night' (starting at 5-6 hours at a time) since they were 10 weeks old.

I did breastfeed for the first 13 months. When they needed to be fed during the night, if only one woke up, I'd usually bring that baby to bed with me to feed while I was laying down. Sometimes we'd both fall asleep. Whenever I woke up, or if the second baby woke up, then I'd take the first one back to its crib, etc. I never thought I'd "co-sleep" with a baby either, but for a little while to cuddle & sleep after a feeding, it's really nice! (And unless you're drunk or one of the heaviest sleepers ever, you most likely wouldn't ever roll over on the baby.)

You'll figure out what works for you when the time comes. Good luck!