OK, ladies, I know it's a moms site, but y'all are women, and you've always given me great advice, so I'll turn again to you. After I divorced my husband, I dated another guy, very nice man, but after about a month, all of a sudden he stopped calling or returning my calls, so I haven't heard from him ever since. Now I am in the predicament of needing to interview his father for a piece I'm writing, and I don't know whether to call the father directly and just ask for the interview or call this guy and let him know I'm interviewing his father. They live in the same house and I don't want him to feel blindsided by this.
Background This man I dated is about 18 years older than me, I'm 28 he's 46. Also, I have absolutely no idea why he stopped calling or answering my calls. This guy's father is an important man in the industry I'm writing a piece about and you can't talk about it without his name coming up, I've been giving it the run around but it's integral to my piece that I interview this guy. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank You.
Dear moms,
As always, great advice, and everyone agreed on this one!! I thought the same here, but I was never in this situation so I didn't want to seem insensitive or rude, I don't know if that even makes sense.... I just called the dad directly to schedule an appointment, couldn't get a hold of him tho, he is supposed to return my call after 3:00pm so I really hope he does. and y'all are right, we didn't even date that long, for me to be mentioned to the dad, and even though I think he is a great man, regardless, I'd rather not see him if I can help it lol. Anyway again ladies I'm in your debt. Thanks .
I would keep it strictly professional and go straight to the father.
I would NEVER call the son.
You make the call and speak to the father. This is business. It was a year ago so let it go and do your writing piece and keep it moving.
I would call the dad directly and remain neutral and PROFESSIONAL. If his son comes up (and hopefully he won't) I'd say "yes, I had the pleasure of making his acquaintance recently." And then let it drop.
I would not contact the son nor would I pump his dad for info.
If the son wants to contact you he will, and if he doesn't - I certainly would not do anything that looks like I am chasing him.
Just call the person you are to be interviewing and keep things professional if you happen to see the person you dated.
I say business is business and there is no need to check with the ex-boyfriend. Be professional if he answers and state who you are, what company you are with and ask to speak with so and so.
I would just call the father and set it up. If the guy feels blindsided he has no one to blame but himself for not returning your earlier calls. You only dated for a month; you don't owe him anything.
Good luck with your article!
Just call the father at his office (if he has one) and do the interview over the phone. Did you meet/spend time with the father during the month you were dating the son? Even if so, for a month-long relationship, I doubt you're even on the dad's radar. The worst that happens is the father tells his son, "Hey, guess who called me for an interview?" No big deal. I think you're making it into a problem that doesn't exist.
If it's the father you need to interview then why would you call the son? Sounds like you may WANT to talk to the son, though if I were you I would let that one go. Eighteen years older AND he sounds like a jerk. Good riddance!
Is this father truly the only person you can interview? If he is, and you know in your heart you are not just trying to find an excuse to see the guy you were dating, then just call up the father and arrange an interview. Interview him at a neutral location, like a coffee shop, so you won't run into the ex-boyfriend and it won't seem like the interview is a ploy.
It's probably just as well he stopped calling. 18 years older is too much older. Yeah, I know, sometimes it can work, but usually the generation gap proves to be too much. Do you really want to be with someone 72 when you're 54? I'm 54 and I wouldn't want to be with a 72 year old. (Sorry if I offended anyone whose s/o is 18 years older or younger.)
You don't need relationship advice, at all. This is not personal, and it involves no relationships.
This business. The professional thing would be to call the father directly, and make no mention of the son.
Call the dad directly at his office if you know the number, no need to call the fling or even mention him.
After reading this it seems some what stalkerish on your part. If you need to interview him for your job and its about him and you cannot find anyone else to interview then call the father directly and professionally. have him meet at your office. If you work from home meet at a coffee shop not at you home. Do not contact the son there is no reason to contact him or mention him to the father. Even durring the good byes or casually mentioning to him how is your son. Nothing dont say anything about the son. This to me seems like a reason to try to find out any little thing about the son and it seems rude and not respecting the son wanting away from you. Sorry. Its just what I get from the above.
