Really Stressed! Are There Any Moms Out There That Work Full time?I Need Advice!

Hi K., I think it's wonderful you've been able to stay home with your boys. I work full time (my husband too) and our 18 month old son and 4 month old daughter are in daycare. We both have to work to make ends meet. But we also agree that having our kids in daycare is in their best interest - they are being socialized, in a formal learning setting, getting experienced trusting other grown-ups and dealing with a variety of experiences, etc. (I'm sure you've heard all this). It's really hard because we don't get to spend a lot of time with them during the week, but we make the best of our mornings and weekends. Our house is a royal disaster though.

I think for the age your kids are, another important factor is that when both parents work full time, you are setting an example for your kids. They are seeing you as having an outlet that gives you a break from them and also makes you happy in a way. They get to see you as someone who enjoys setting goals and succeeding outside the home. And, they have the opportunity to be cared for by others and learn to trust other grown-ups to be there for them (to comfort and soothe and play with them too).

Good luck making your decision!!

I work full time and I have a 5-year-old daughter. My husband works full-time as well. I have found that there are both positives and negatives to my FT working status. I make more money than my husband and right now, it's in our family's best financial interest for me to be working FT. I also do enjoy my job. However, there have been trade-offs--I think it's actually harder on me than on my daughter! She was in full-time PreK last year and loved it and is going to a daycare/daycamp program this summer & enjoys it a lot. I'm the one who is always stressed about spending time with her & sometimes I feel bad that we don't have more time together...I usually pick her up from camp at 4, we have dinner as a family at 5, we play or she has soccer at 6, and she's in bed around 7-7:30. It's also hard to find quality childcare & it can be really expensive to pay someone to watch your children. Also, have a plan for "back-up" childcare in case of snow days, days off from school, etc. The most difficult thing for me is feeling like I never have enough time to do anything...I'm gone from the house from 7am-4:30pm M-F and then it's time with my daughter & husband and then in the evening I'm doing stuff around the house like dishes, laundry, etc. If you have your husband's support and a plan for childcare, etc., I think you could make the transition to being a FT working mom. There will probably be an adjustment period and I'm sure you'll have some "mommy guilt" moments (ie, for me it was the Halloween party that I couldn't get off work for and "everyone else's mom was there") but you can work through it and make a successful transition!

Maybe you should think about being a consultant for one of the various home deonstration companies. I know that Pampered Chef, Slumber Parties and Party Lite Candles are big in my area. I looked into Slumber Parties, big profit!!!!, but I didn't have the guts to be a "Sex Enhancement Counselor", however I am still considering it.
the other thing that might fit your schedule is trying to get a job within the school system your kids are in. You can then work full tim during the school year, yet have off all the holidays and summer.
I have three kids and I do daycare from home. It is sometimes tough, because I really don't have any freedom, eventhough I am home all day, but the money is great and I love doing it.
Good Luck!!!

I was working full time before, my son is 4 1/2 now after 5 months of doing it I just couldn't anymore. The stress and being tired and having way too much take out food just wasn't worth the money. I decided to start my own business doing freelance graphic design part time and working from home which has worked out great. It was so hard working full time and I hardly saw my son, your kids are older so I think they would be able to adjust much better than my little one but they are still in elementary school right? It's a hard decision but you gotta do what's best for your family. Sometimes the extra income would allow you to take great family vacations or send your kids to a better school/college or move to a better area. Weigh the pros/cons. Maybe your hus. makes a lot of money and you don't really need too much extra maybe not. Most people have to work hard their whole lives so if you really don't have too even just for a few years while your kids are small consider it a blessing. i figure i've probably got another 40 yrs I can work full time but only about 10 when my kid is small and needs me.
T.

Hi, K.!
I too work full time; I had to go right back to work after giving birth to my son. So at 6 weeks old he started going to daycare. We didn't have a choice, I had to go back to work to meet our financial needs. I think that it has been good for him because he is flexible with mommy and daddy leaving and is socialized. The only down side is the feelings that I get because I feel like I am missing out on special moments with him. Also, everyone told me that he would be sick all the time because he was in daycare. I have found that to be untrue. In his 22 months of life I have only missed work 3 days because he was sick....and he was the first one sick at daycare everyone else was healthy!
I hope this helped.

J.

No matter what advice you get, this decision has to be something with which you are comfortable based on your needs and the needs of your family. That said, there are definitely ways to ease the shock to everyone if you do decide to go back to work.

I went back full time when my twins turned 2. I was decidedly against it and now I wouldn't trade it for the world. More than anything, I can define myself for something other than motherhood and am valued as an adult who can contribute to the company for which I work. I have adult conversations every day!

To balance the work/life struggle, I did two things for myself. First of all, I hired someone to clean my house. I don't have it hanging over my head and that's several hours a week that I can spend with my kids, rather than on my hands and knees on my kitchen floor. Secondly, I have a couple of babysitters that I use from time to time to get some time for ME and sometimes time for my husband and me. Though this takes me away from my children even more and sounds counter intuitive, I find that I am a much better mom when I get a break from ALL responsibility every once in a while.

Good luck with your decision!

I work full-time and I don't think my kids are the worse for it. However, my mom does daycare for me so they do truly have the best care in the world. No one will take care of them like my mother. But weigh the options. How much is it going to cost you in daycare/childcare during the school year and during the summer. Their not old enough yet to be left alone. So if it's going to cost you tons to pay for their care and you staying at home means none of those costs, there you go. See which way you keep more money. That's what I do.

K.,

I have been a mom who works full time out of the home, a stay at home mom, and now a stay at home mom who works a business out of the home. Right now I have the best of both worlds because I am working and contributing to our families income, but I am also home for my kids and don't have to miss a thing. I think that it is common for a mom to go back to work once the kids are all in school, I have found that they need us home just as much once they are in school, and unless you have a very flexible job it can really be difficult to do childcare on days off, sick days, snow days, etc.

If you need to make money, but want to be home, you don't need to leave the home to do it. I am building a business that will last a lifetime, and will replace my husband's income over the next year. There aren't too many stay at home businesses that allow for that, but mine does. I don't sell anything either, which I love. You can check it out in the business section of this site... www.advancingwithus.com/Dz233188
It is definitely worth looking into if you want to make a full time income, but still have the flexibility to be home with your kids. I don't know how much money you need to make, but once I reach my goal, I will be making an average of $50,000 a year, but the people that I work with make double that after only 18 months in the business.

Oh, and this is not some get rich quick scam, multi-level marketing, pyramid scheme or anything like that. Just a real business that does business differently, benefitting people like me...people willing to work hard and be paid for their work.

D.

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Hi K.,

I just want to tell you what I did so I wouldn't have to return to work. I decided to become a Mary Kay Consultant because it gave me the flexibility to work around the needs of my family. I have 2 boys at home and even though they are teenagers I thought they needed me more now than ever. This gives me the opportunity to work around the needs of my family. When they are in school, I make my appts. When they are home, I am home. Call me and we can talk, if you like or look into the opportunity at my website. Mary Kay always said, "God first, family second, and business third". Wishing you the best!
G. Dominicci
marykay.com/gdominicci

Hi K.,

The first thing you need to realize is that there is no wrong answer. You need to do what is best for you and your family. I work full time and have a two year old son who is in daycare. I for financial reasons, had to continue working but now realize that if I had to do it over again and had the choice I probably would choose to work but part time. There are pros and cons to both situations. I can only speak for the working mom side as I am a stay at home only in summers when I am off---I teach--and this year my son is staying in "school" a few days a week. Pros-----he is socialized and building up his immunity to germs. Like someone else here said, people told he that he will be sick all the time. His first year there i would say he was sick alot but this year hardly at all. He is also making friends and learning things I couldn't teach him such as spanish. Cons---I am missing some of the things he does or bonding time with him. But again, deep down I kow I am doing what is best for my family. I am a happy mother and a happy mother makes for a happy family.

I just went back to work (2 weeks ago) full time after 11 years of part time jobs!! My kids are 7,9 and 11. I was alittle stressed before I started but so far, it is working out really well!! I hired a college student that I worked with Quinnipiac University Polling and she has been great! Luckily, my husband gets home at 2:30pm and then I get home at 5:30pm. I just got my first paycheck and trust me, my kids are LOVING my new job...ha ha!!

Did you ever think about starting your own home base business? Arbonne is an amazing health and wellness company. I am so thankful. Because of Arbonne I am able to stay at home with my three children 15,9 &4. Homebased businesses are the wave of the future. Many of my friends husbands who work on Wall St. are now working from home. Even companies such as Victoria's Secret are stating homebased businesses. Please check out my website nicolemelucci.myarbonne.com

Hi There-

I work full time and run my business part time. I have 1 child struggling in college, 1 going to h.s. and 1 with special needs (cerebral palsy & epilepsy). While all of this is very challenging, it's definitely possible. The thing is I believe it's all about your personality type. How much can you handle? Only you know that so it's not about what other people are doing. Personally, I'm very fulfilled working and running my business with the knowledge that I will some day be just running my own business full time and able to spend more time with my children. In the end, you must do what you think is best for you and what YOU can handle not what anybody else can.

Wishing you the best,
M.

A little about me:
I love to shop and read as well as help others. I own my own business and I am a business coach providing free mentoring to individuals with stay at home businesses, teaching the skills needed for success.

I am newly married (Sept. '07) but we've been together for 5 years. I have 3 children, 1 is special needs. He's the best little boy! Christopher is 7. My other 2 are 13 (girl) and 20 (boy)