Question for Nursing Moms

I would think that he is using you as a pacifer, like you said. I, also, co-sleep with my son (14 months) and he still nurses at night. He sometimes will nurse 2-4 times a night, and other nights he will only nurse to fall asleep. What I've found was that my son sometimes will make sounds at night, that I assume is him waking to nurse, so I offer and he will nurse. But if I ignore the sounds, he will usually fall back to sleep without nursing. I would just try letting him fall back to sleep without nursing him, but if he gets too upset, nurse him. Eventually he should fall out of the routine, and sleep through the night.

Good luck :)

I would say it's totally normal. My oldest daughter, who is almost 4 was very much like this, like clockwork! She also slept in our bed with us. It wasn't until we got her in her own bed (I can't remember how old she was, probably 1.5-2 y.o.) that she started sleeping a little better through the whole night, even though she was still being nursed. We have a 10 month old girl now, who is in our bed and is up all the time. She was a dream as a newborn, she slept through the night!! Now she's up all the time wanting to nurse, but like you said, she's just using me as a pacifier. So, I bring a pacifier to bed! God bless the binky! Sometimes she really wants to nurse, and we do that, othertimes, the binky does the trick. Try a pacifier if you're okay with them, they really do help at night, and maybe a "big boy bed" sometime in the near future.

My son is almost 6 months old and is nursing part-time. He gets formula at his ninna's house during the day and nursing at home when I get off work. Prior to going back to work, he also nursed every two hours. I also thought he was just using me as a comfort "paci". You might want to try suplementing with formula to see if he will go a little longer in between feedings. Hope you find a solution because I know how exhausting it can be feeding every two hours.

My first son did not sleep through the night until he started on solids at 4mos. Our Second was sleeping through the night at 7 weeks. Your child is definately using you as a pacifier. I has my son sleeping in a seperate bed in the same room. I would bring him into my bed to nurse. But not the moment that he stared to fuss. Both of my son's cried out in their sleep. If I left them alone for a minute or two they eventually learned to self sooth. Sometimes just talking to them and reassuring them worked. Good luck. I had to stop nursing my first son because stress at work. My second son stopped nursing a week after his first birthday. He was only nursing 1-2 times a day and he decided he wanted it to go. He would not sit still to nurse any longer. Good luck.

We did the same thing and my daughter weaned at 17 mo. she fed often at night, but it was peaceful and we all slept, otherwise it was crying and fussing etc. Being a pacifier is not a bad thing either when your baby is so young. Nursing for a minute can pass gas, quick comfort from a waking/dream, reassure etc. Elizabeth Pantley talks about cosleeping/nursing/sleeping through the night. One method is turning so that the latch is not easy for the baby and they "give up" and go back to sleep. I think my daughter nursed 2-4 times at night at that age so ...no worries

I'm sorry to report that it sounds exactly like your seven month-old is using you as a pacifier and a comfort, although it's also possible that he is using you as a teether if he is starting to cut teeth (it feels good to have something on those sore gums). When my 3.5 year old boy was little, he would try to wake about two times during the night to eat even though our pediatrician said it was reasonable to expect him to go 6 to 8 hours at night without food. What worked for us was to have my husband (the non-nutritive parent) soothe him back to sleep. As long as my husband was soothing him, he knew he wasn't going to get food. Eventually he quit waking during the night as often, most times going at least 6 to 8 hours without waking. I now also have a 5 month old daughter, and this method also works for her. When she wakes in the night and I know it's too early for her to need more food, my husband soothes her back to sleep...it doesn't work 100% of the time, as a nursing baby she sometimes just wants her mommy. But it does work most of the time. Good luck to you and congratulations on the decision to breastfeed your babies. I breastfed my son until he weaned naturally just shy of 2 years old, and I plan to nurse my daughter until she weans naturally also.

My son night nursed till his second birthday, so 7 mo is nothing. First, yeah to you for still nursing and for the co-sleeping! My 14mo old daughter still nurses and my son, who is 3.5yrs, nursed till he completely self-weaned at 2.5yrs. Both kiddos sleep with us, also by choice. (We even put a twin bed next to our queen to make more space for all of us!) My 14mo old still nurses 2-4 times a night, every night. It's sooo totally normal at your baby's age! If you are co-sleeping, are you able to go back to sleep while he nurses? I just roll my daughter to the other side, pull my shirt up and go back to sleep! Now that my daughter is a busy toddler, I think she actully needs the food during the night because she is too busy to eat during the day. Just keep giving your son that great mothering!

At 7 mo, my first was still nursing several times a night. Developmentally, most children this age do not need to eat that often at night. It just becomes a habit. (And what a warm wonderful thing for mom and baby!)

We don't co-sleep, so we did CIO with #2 at 6 mo. I was too sleep deprived to care about anything! I know that's not for everyone, nor do I know how you achieve it while co-sleeping.

Every child is different and every parent chooses their own way to raise them. You need to find what is right for your family.

Good luck!

B.,
I completely agree with you. He is using you for a pacifier. So, try one. Instead of rolling over and giving him your breast, try a pacifier. Try different brands until you find one he likes. The only other option is for your husband to keep sleeping with the kiddos and you move out for a couple weeks (yes, weeks), because that is how long it will take. Check out the LaLeche web site and see what they have to say. But, the bottom line is what works for you guys.
I went through the sam situation. First time...no prob. Second time, the lil bit was using me as a paci. We ended up getting her into her own bed at about 10 months (off and on anyway). At 40 years old, I needed more sleep than with my 1st one. DO what works for your family.
E.

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My baby was born 7/13/07, has been exclusively breastfeeding since day one, eats cereal once or twice a day(about 3 tbsp worth each sitting) and still wakes up once or twice for nursing(about 4-5 hours)He sleeps with me so I feel him stir when he's hungry. If he's using you as a pacifier and not hungry, try to let him go back to sleep without eating.My little boy will suck on my shirt or his thumb or sleeve and go back to sleep when he's not hungry. When he is hungry he simply will not, and now that he is a little more mobile, kicks and rocks and whimpers.

When my baby was nine months I was in the same boat, and exhausted. He started sleeping through the night as soon as I but him in his own room. I am sure that is not what you want to hear since you like the family bed, I did too, but it just didn't work for my child. We are both much more rested and in better moods now. He moved out of our room 5 months ago.

My first daughter slept with me and nursed throughout the night. The only way I got it to stop was to put her in her crib. I think you either have to decide your okay with the constant waking or switch him to a crib. He can smell your milk when he sleeps with you so he'll continue to wake up. Forget what anyone says is best, do what's best for you and your baby. For me, I needed my sleep. With my second daughter she took a pacifier and never slept in the bed with me. I know I'll have to deal with breaking her of at it at some point but totally worth it, she's a great sleeper. Do you think he would take a pacifier? I'm sure you wouldn't have to worry about nipple confusion at this point.

That is normal, don't worry. Each child is different of course. I just recently finished nursing my now 1 year old daughter. She woke at least once or twice a night all the way up until 12 mths. And even occasionally now that we're not nursing. When I asked my lactation consultant the same question, is this normal.. she said, "Yes she just wants her Mommy Time". So maybe it is more pacifier than for food, but also comforting that only Mommy can give. Keep up the good work!!! ;)

http://www.thebreastfeedingcenter.com/

The Breastfeeding Center in Massillon is a great facility with FREE support groups for nursing moms. You should check it out!

I think you've hit the nail on the head -- he is using you as a human pacifier. By this stage of the game, he should be able to sleep for a good long 8- or 10-hour stretch without eating (most nights). Every two hours means he's loving his snuggle-up-with-mommy time. Now it's up to you to decide whether to allow him to continue snacking. My 4-month-old goes to bed around 8 or 8:30, and I don't feed him until he wakes up around 4. At his 4-month checkup, the pediatrician said this is a good stretch of sleep for his age, but she suggested even trying to delay that 4 a.m. feeding until 5 a.m. between now and when he's 6 months old. I tell you this for a little perspective. Good luck! It's not easy, especially when your baby is an amazing snuggle bug! :)

B.,

congratulations on choosing to nurse! it is the best choice for both of you! I nursed my daughter untill she was apx 2 1/2yrs old, when she weaned herself. She woke up nearly every 2 hours for the first yr. i got her to stop doing that by sleeping in a different room for apx 5days - 1 week so she could not "smell" me. I left her and her father in the "family bed" while i slept on the couch. After that she slept through the night. hope this helps,

E.

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my little girl would go through periods where she nursed every few hours at night and usually it had to do with teething or growing. She is still nursing and still sleeps with us, but some nights she doesn't nurse more than once now. My experience says there will be ups and downs with the night nursing (day nursing too for that matter). I don't think stuffing them with food matters. It definitely is a comfort thing some of the time

A baby that age should definitely not need to eat that often! I have a 4 month old. We have had him on a feeding schedule since he was about 2 weeks old. He now eats every 3 hours like clockwork during the day and sleeps through the night about half the time. The other half he'l sleep a minimum of 6 hours.
On a side note, you may like them sleeping with you now, but you will probably pay for it later. My friend lets her boys sleep with her because her husband works 3rd shift and now they refuse to sleep in their own beds.

My son nursed twice or three times at night until he was about 10 months or so. And I figured that he was just using it for comfort. He didn't sleep with us so to help him sleep through the night, I would rock him and pad him on the back instead of nursing. I also gave him a plush animal that helped him soothe himself back to sleep. Since your youngest is sleeping with you maybe you can put a big teddy bear or something between you and him and when he tries to nurse, comfort him with the teddy. I know it sounds silly but maybe it would help him soothe himself back to sleep.

I second that every child is different. When it comes to sleeping through the night don't get stuck on what everyone says your child should be doing. My daughter is 22 months and still nursing a few times a day. We co-slept till she was 17 months old and yes she would wake up many times to nurse. At 17 months I was done and decided I need my space at bedtime so I night weaned her and after that I started putting her in her crib. It was a rough week but she's been sleeping through the night in her crib since. I wouldn't give up those wonderful 17 months of co-sleeping and being a human pacifier for anyting it was wonderful bonding, but for us it was time to stop. Do what you want. If I was sleeping next to my favorite food I would wake up every few hours for a nibble too! You may be able to night wean and continue to co-sleep and you may not so be prepared for both outcomes. My daughter now will not sleep with us at all. Any time we have brought her to our bed since she thinks it's party time! Good luck!

most nursing babies dont sleep thru the night. mine is 16 months old and i just stopped nursing and he just now is sleeping thru the night. at 7 months mine did the same thing- waking up every 2 to 3 hours and he slept with me too. i think your baby , like mine, is doing it more for comfort than hunger. if it doesnt bother you i wouldnt change it- time will come when the baby will sleep. if it bothers you just do to lack of sleep there are a few things you can try
i put a pack and play in my room and started putting the baby down for naps there when he got use to that i put hiom down at the beginning of the night- he slept for a few hours and then moved into my bed and slept the rest of the night with me- still nursing in the middle of the night. after that was done and he got use to the bed i slowly started taking away night time feedings as well( he was 16 months when i did this) the first nights were hard but now he sleeps in his pack in play- in our room- thru the night my next step is getting him in a crib in another room. it is a long process to ween a nursing baby. you just have to decide how long you want to nurse and how long you can go with interrupted sleep.
it is really your own decision. hope this helps a little

Yes, it is normal, especially during a growth spurt. I have nursed three children, and am still nursing my almost 2 year old. It can be really annoying though sometimes. You might want to try a little more food right before bed time, or maybe you can get your husband to feed him something in the middle of the night so you can sleep (wouldn't work in my house though- LOL).

There are a few things that could be going on:

You may be a little dehydrated, which will make your milk production a little low. Make yourself drink a gallon (yes, a gallon) of water today. Then make sure you get at least 8 eight ounce glasses of water everyday. Your body needs fluids for itself, not to mention your milk production.

If you get in plenty of fluids, then your son may just be going through (or getting ready to go through) a growth spurt. They will eat more often right before they grow and then they tend to sleep a lot while they are growing.

Another possibility is that he is falling asleep before he actually gets full. My daughter did this a lot. I would tickle her feet to wake her up so she would finish eating.

Try the water first and see if you notice a difference within a couple of days.

Good luck.

C.

Totally normal for a breastfed co-sleeper!! You can try weaning every other feeding if you just can't handle the wake-up-calls. Try to snuggle and pat his back before letting him nurse and have your husband also help. But, most kids have a short sleep cycle like that and since he's in bed with you and used to nursing back to sleep, he'll keep doing it as long as you let him, mostly likely.
Hope you aren't too tired! :)

Hi B.! Oh the joys of nursing an infant:) I also nursed both of my children and had the same issues with my daughter. It definitely sounds like he is using you as a pacifier and comfort. What child doesn't like the comfort of Mom??:)However, since he is eating solids and cereal before bed, then he really should be sleeping through the night. Does he ever sleep in his own crib? I guess I would start there because maybe sleeping with every one else is keeping him up at night. I know you said that you enjoy having them with you, but maybe he will sleep better in his own space. When I was trying to ween my daughter, I would only comfort her and rock her and not nurse her. . .of course she cried a lot at first but she finally realized that she wasn't going to use me as a pacifier and eventually slept through the night. I also had my husband help with her the first few nights because it was tiring to hear the crying and not be able to give in to what she really wanted. Just be prepared for the crying because he will for a few nights. . .but I PROMISE, it will get better and just make sure you are consistent and don't give in. .. if you give in just once, then you are back to ground one! I hope this helps! Let us know how it goes!! Good luck!

I agree with previous post. Co-sleeping isn't for everyone. At 7 months he should not need to eat at night. Maybe try adding more solids/nursing during the day, but I agree that it sounds like he just wants to pacify himself.

You have answered your question. Our youngest was the same way. Mommy is a binky.

I am by no means a lactation consultant but have had my years of nursing. I have a 6 year old who nursed until he was just over 3 and was tandem nursed with my 4 year old for a year together. My 4 year old nursed until he was 2 1/2. I took a 6 month break while pregnant with my daughter. She is 18 mo. old now and I am tandem nursing her with my 2 mo. old son.

I have been told and learned that babies nurse more at night to "catch up" on mommy time that has been missed during the day. My 18 mo. old still gets up in the middle of the night to nurse. I will nurse her for as long as the baby is satisfied and then put her back to bed - or sometimes she will just sleep with us. My 2 mo. old seems to want to be with me and to nurse frequently at night. I think both of them don't get as much time with me during the day and therefore try to catch up. This may be what is happening in your case.

You might could try to "cluster" nurse him before bedtime such as nursing him every hour 3-4 hours before bedtime so that he is tanked up.

Just remember that it is a VERY short season in which they are little and it passes oh too quickly. Best wishes!

Hi, B.. You sound a lot like me several years ago. It is soooo wonderful to hear from so many nursing mommas and the advice is right on. I am nursing my last, #6. He's 10 mos old and still wakes up at night. It is so automatic it hardly affects my sleep. I hook him up when I hear him rootin and whineing and fall back to sleep. We have slept with all of ours and loved it. We put them in their own toddler bed at about 2. They've always been excited. Our huge 4 yr old still climbs in about 1/2 the time. He doesn't nurse. My kids have weaned themselves anywhere from 11mos to 2yrs. This way is not for eveyone, but my husband and I agree and it works for us. Enjoy, they grow fast!

I nursed my son until he was 11 months old & don't think that I ever nursed during the night past maybe 3 months old. I always made sure to get a good feeding in just before bed - and once he was on solids - a good filling snack before his bedtime feeding. I think you're right that he is using you as a pacifier - so how about letting him take a pacifier so that you both can get some rest - Also, try putting a barrier between the two of you or letting him sleep closer to Daddy!

Yes. It is absolutely normal! However, it isn't at all easy. There's a good book called, "No Cry sleep solution." It's by Elizabeth Pantly. Your library probably has it. I'd take a look because it has lots of good ideas. Also check out Dr. Sears website on attachment parenting. www.askdrsears.com

Of course, ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT! His nighttime feedings are really normal for an infant his age. There's nothing wrong with continuing as you are unless you're getting too sleep deprived;-)
Co-sleeping helped me get more sleep- and I didn't mind being a pacifier. Mine are now 3 and 5 and they learned how to sleep in their own beds when the time was right.

Hey, just a thought based on my experience. My wonderful, now 11 month old, son ate/nursed every 2 hours (night and day) for the first 8 1/2 months! honestly, while I love caring for my son, by 8 1/2 months I was exhausted! I even talked to my dr. about it at his 6 month check up to see if I was doing something wrong, she said that it was just that he has a very high metabolic rate and would eventually slow down. Then one day I thought it must be time for him to eat and I looked at the clock and realised it had been nearly 3 hours! I was shocked! Since then he has gone from a 3 hour feeding schedule to a 3 1/2 hour schedule and now only nurses every 5 to 7 hours at night. We do not co-sleep because my son doesn't like it! I hear that is very unusual, but he prefers to sleep by himself. One thing though, my dr. did ask if he was eating more at night than during the day. She said if he was there was a good chance he was pacifying, but if not then he really was needing to eat.