Queen Bees and Wannabes

Also teach her, through role-playing, how to stick up for herself. No one taught me this and my "best" friends treated me miserably. And I took it. If someone had told me what to do or say back to my bi*chy friends, it might have helped a lot.

I read it along with our daughter when she was in 5th grade. Actually we had a group of moms and daughters all read it and then come together to discuss it. We also went to hear the Author, Rosiland Wiseman speak about her book. She was wonderful. Her Q & A was great because the young girls could ask any questions they wanted.

Our daughter really understood and could identify these behaviors.
We had some really good discussions about being happy with ones self, so that it did not matter what others said.

She had encountered some Queen Bees, but she was always excellent at reading people and seeing them as they really were. This book gave good insight into why these girls behaved the way they do and how to protect ones self..

If your daughter is pretty mature, I think she will understand and be able to identify people in her own life as Queen Bees and Wanna Bees..

I want to second what SH posted: Try the American Girl books -- not the fiction ones, the nonfiction "A Smart Girls' Guide to...." series. There is one called "A Smart Girl's Guide to Friendship Troubles." It will communicate with your daughter in a very girl-to-girl language that the "Queen Bees" book, which was really written for adults, can't do. All the AG nonfiction "Smart Girls' Guides" are very useful (and so is the Body Book they have, by the way, if you haven't "been there" yet with her).

I think it is an excellent book for all parents who have girls and how to be a model for them in our own relationships, advice to give them when issue do arise, and sections that would be completely appropriate for them to read and for you to discuss.

I recommend this to parents all the time because of the hierarchy that develops in relationship just at (and before) your daughter's age. If not for her, for you. Definitely.

Get the "American Girl" book series. From any bookstore or online.
It has ALL topics for girls this age.
AND about friends.
It is GOOD.
I have it for my daughter.

Your girl is a Tween.
Tweens are from 9-12 years old.
Look up "Tween Development" online, Google Search, and many good articles will come up.

Teach her, NOT to be a Door-Mat... and to be herself and self-assured... and to make OTHER friends, who are, friends.

GUIDE her... in people and social situations.
Teach her.

For me, I always talked to my kids... (boy and girl) about people in general, and friends, since age 2.
My daughter, is her OWN person and not a follower. Same for my son. They are not door-mats and know, how to just make other friends and not take Bull, from kids who are, mean/bossy/bullying/and trouble-makers.
AND, they know, what a friend is.

You teach your child, to have her OWN sense of Self.
Her OWN, identity. NOT based on what other girls are doing.
You Teach her, how to stand up for herself.
You teach her, to listen to her heart.
You teach her, that being a follower and a sheep, is not cool... especially when mean girls act mean, in a group. It is, not, cool.

You teach your daughter... to be, her own person.
My late Dad, taught his daughters that.
Always.

It was over my daughter's head at age 9. Roleplaying and talking about scenarios as they happen helped her see they were being mean. She still would put up with it, but I put my foot down and cut off kids who don't treat her right. Now she is standing up for herself with new friends and I am hoping we finally turned the page.

Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret is a CLASSIC. I'm pretty sure that deals with snotty girls (but also having periods and breasts, so if she's not ready for that...but she probably is.) It's maybe a little old fashioned these days...maybe written in the 70s? I can't remember...but it's a great, GREAT book.

I think if a girl if willing to read that kind of book to give her inner strength then that is great. It does not end for girls and in high school things get 10 times worse. Inner strength is the key for any relationship!!

I have boys but what a great idea you have to help her deal with this and all the other dramas in her future! Good job!