Protocol for Giving Gifts for Niece and Nephews over 18 - Denver,CO

I thought hard about this too, Leah. My nephew and nieces, save one, are all in college. The nephew just graduated undergraduate and is continuing at the same college for his year of graduate work. The rest of the girls are in undergraduate.

It is hard to think of not giving them a gift while they are in college. So I decided to continue doing it until they have finished school. What will be hard is when I'm giving one sister her gift and not the other. Don't know how to handle that :(

Dawn

Our extended family agreed on a rule that once a kid was in college (or college age), they didn't get gifts anymore. Is this something you or your husband could suggest to your BIL/SIL?

Speak with the other family members and see what they want to do.

We do not have many nieces and nephews so we continue to give some sort of gift. Usually $25 or $30. gift cards.. especially if they are in college.

But make sure everyone is on board.

If they live at home with their parents, then yes a Family gift is great.

The 11 'kids' of the family have been drawing names for years and all are still included. There are 2- 23 years, 2- 21 year olds and 2- 18 year olds.

I also still send a card and $5 for every birthday! It's not much, but I do it because I love them and want them to know I'm thinking of them. And especially at that age, $5 will at least buy a couple of beers! ;)

In our family we only buy for our godchildren, not our nieces and nephews, but that was decided over 25 years ago when the first niece was born and we decided that we would only buy up to 18. Since you haven't established anything, I think it would be a good idea to get a family gift, but I think a box of chocolates is a little small. I would go with a gift basket or maybe one more year of gift cards. I think you should pick a time, no so close to the holidays and discuss it with your family and see what they say.

I think that is the age when it is good to go with a shipment from Hickory Farms or Edible Arrangements. :)

As a side note, I understand exactly the weirdness you feel about them still buying for your younger kids. But, didn't you guys buy for theirs when you had NO children? Just some perspective...

The really complicated ones are when they have one off at college, one about to be off at college and 2 still at home--one of which is only 4 years old.

On my side of the family (with my many ants, uncles, and cousins, whom we see regularly), once you are 18.. no more gifts from everyone. If you wish, you may put your name into the "hat" for the gift exchange. However, on my husband's side, the family is too small to for that to work well. We rarely see most of them, too. However, as it is what my husband wishes, we have always given gifts to his nieces and nephews (who are now 18-33??). Personally, I am more of the opinion of stopping this. Not only do we rarely see, or even talk to them, but, of the four, only one ever reciprocates or shows any appreciation. It is his family though, so I follow his wishes in this.

We decided to stop when the young people entered college officially.

My nieces in law ceased getting gifts from us when they had children. We give to their kids. On my side, my niece is 12 and nephew is 15 so we continue to give them gifts. My daughter is 23 and will graduate in May still gets gifts. My son is 19 and getting ready to start college still gets gifts. Its different for birthday. My brother decided at 20 for my daughter that it was no longer necessary to give her a gift. While, I do understand, a card would be nice!

My aunt stopped giving us gifts when we were out of high school. I was ok with it. I think a family gift would be fine. Or if you want to do a gift card/money - what about a gas card for college students. Are you close enough with the parents to ask how they feel about it?

In our families, gifts stop at the age of 18. The only gifts given after that age are for high school graduation, college graduation (if there's a party), weddings, and maybe a big birthday or anniversary milestone that is celebrated.

Once they reach the age of 18, they are an adult and no longer a child.

We were just trying to figure this out recently. My husband's family thankfully has a name pool that you can opt to join or not for buying gifts. If you turn 18, you can decide to join the pool. Up to that point, you get gifts from everyone. My family has no such rule, and I have 2 nieces who are in college. I have a brother who wants to stop exchanging gifts for our kids as he feels we are just handing money over to each other. That is fine by me, however, his kids are 7 and 18 years old. He has had the benefit of me buying for his kids for 18 years and has now decided to stop. My kids are 5 and 3. Oh well. My sister seems to want her college aged daughter to get presents forever. She came up to me privately the last time I saw her to tell me that she wants them to still get presents from us because they "looked sad." My family is bonkers.