Preschooler- Bedtime/Waking in the Night

I have this same problem...and unlike your other posters, I'm not OK with "just crawling in bed with us" or "me staying the whole night in his room".
So I'll be watching this for suggestions that don't involve co-sleeping.
I don't want anything to do with that. But personally, I'm on the verge of taking DS to a sleep specialist. We've been dealing with this for 2 years, and nothing we've tried to break the habit has worked.

Has she ever been able to sleep in your room/bed? If yes, this will be a harder road for you to fix because she knows that being in your room is an option and she will protest for it pretty hard. She needs to know its just not an option. I think at this point you have to go back to similar sleep strategies that you would have used when she was a baby/toddler. Do you watch Super Nanny? They do the silent return to bed method for this type of issue. You put her in bed and tell her the rules are: stay in bed, be quiet, lay down and shut your eyes. (my son often tells me he is not tired, and I say thats OK! you dont have to sleep, but you do have to... then I recite the rules again). If she gets up once you tell her "its time for sleep now, good night" and return her to her bed. Everytime she gets up after that you return her to her bed without saying anything at all. No interaction. This is important, she has to learn she wont get any attention, positive or negative, from getting out of her bed. Then prepare to return her to her bed a few dozen times. The first few nights it may take a few hours. After a week or so, if you are very consistent with this method, she should stay put. YOu have to be prepared for a few stressful nights of crying but in the long run you will all get a better night sleep. You must be consistant. If you cave in, even once, you are back to the beginning. I have never allowed my son to sleep in my room because I know that he is not one of those kids that can do anything "sometimes". If he does it once, he will want to do it again and again and I would never be able to get him sleeping in his own room.

If she is having fears of being alone, try to address those with her first. For example, my son went through a period of being afraid of shadows, so we would make a game of it. We looked at shadows in his room and tried to find the objects that made them. Then we made our own with our bodies and other toys and stuff. Then I gave him a flashlight to keep by his bed at night in case he wanted to "see what something was" which helped calm his fears. He also got afraid of the dark for a while, so we let him keep his bedroom door open and we kept the hall light on (previously door was closed but he did have a nightlight).
Last, is she getting enough sleep? Overtired children often wake during the night. Sometimes the best way to stop night waking is to make bed time earlier! We had some issues about a month ago with night waking and waking too early in the morning. I moved his bedtime up by 30minutes and a week later the issues were gone. He was sleeping better at nigth, staying alseep longer in the morning and even napping better during the day!
Good luck. A good nights sleep is important for everyone in the family to be at their best!

I have dealt with this with both of my daughters. I found that getting a reward the next morning worked well. I would just go buy little gifts (and a couple bigger ones) and wrap them so she can have it when she wakes up in the morning. (Show her the package the night before so she knows what she's working towards). If you just do this for a couple of weeks then they'll be in a routine and you won't need to continue it. Consistency is the key. I'm working on it with my youngest daughter now and if I don't stick with it then it throws it all off and we have to start all over again. I have also found if I fall asleep with her then she wakes up looking for me but after a few nights of falling asleep on her own she sleeps through the night. A routine at night is also very helpful...jammies, brush teeth, then read a book...this seems to help my daughter relax a little before sleep. I have also used KinderCalm which is a natural supplement that helps kids to relax at night. (It didn't work great for my daughter but it does for some kids). You can get this from a Naturopath Dr. Hope this helps! Good luck! I know how frustrating it is to battle this in the middle of the night! Stay strong and be consistent and you'll both feel good about conquering this!

My son is the same age and does this too. When I ask him why he tells me he misses me. So I just go to his room and spend the rest of the night in there. He has a full size bed so there is plenty of room. I do insist that he falls asleep in his own bed but I stay with him until he is asleep. I think it is natural for a child to want to be with his or her parents, expecially is you both work, of course she misses you! I love to cuddle my son and we all sleep well.

A few thoughts come to mind.

1. Why is she afraid? Does she have a night light? My son at that age had to have his closet door open, that way he could see what was going to come out of it lol
2. Is she having growing pains? Maybe a little pain med's before bed will help her sleep better.

Last, if she is so persistent to want in your room at night, make a pallet on your floor. Make your room open to her, just not your bed. I co-sleep, so not an issue if they want in bed, but the pallet works great when they are transitioning. Put a blanket and pillow out and let her know that she is allowed in and that her spot is right there on the floor. They honestly get tired of it and start to spend longer time in their own beds at night.

Good luck, I know how tiring it can be.

I don't have any issues with this because if the kids wake up they just crawl in bed with us. I learned early on that I needed my sleep and if they were awake and having a melt down because they didn't want to sleep in their own bed I was going to suffer the entire next day.

If your child is keeping you awake all hours then perhaps you can solve the problem by just letting them get in bed with you. It makes much more sense to not wake up the entire way so it takes hours to get back to deep sleep. It is much more restful to sleep with an extra body in the bed than to stay awake all night battling a child.

I need my rest too much to fight this battle all night long for as long as the child wakes up. It can take years too.