Pregancy Questions

How awful. What yahoos. I never ask a woman about pregnancy unless it is VERY clear (we're talking 9 months and clearly in a maternity top).

I'm sorry that happens to you, but I would suggest you try not to be rude back. Just as a rule that's the best way to be (you know, "turn the other cheek") and it really does make you feel better about yourself if you come out as the polite one. I would just say something like, "I had him 10 months ago," and then change the subject with something like, "Here he is, isn't he a cutie?" Trust me, they will feel stupid enough.

Just to maybe make you feel a little better, though, remember, they are probably asking because they want to acknowledge what they mistakenly assume is your impending joy and congratulate you. Even though they should do a better job of thinking before speaking, they are trying to be nice, not mean.

Try not to feel too bad. It happens to a lot of people. When I was in my mid-twenties and a very skinny size 4, one of my high school students asked me when I was due as well! It is natural for a woman's stomach to be round. Those six-pack abs, on the other hand, are NOT the way God made us!

~A.

I have a rule...unless I see a head crowning, I DO NOT assume a woman is pregnant! LOL Usually, even if it is completely obvious, I don't ask until the mom to be brings it up. I can stick my foot in my mouth plenty all by myself...I know better than to ask the big "P" question!

However, I am amazed by the number of patients who asked me if I was pregnant from very early on during their triage intake. I guess because these were people who knew me, they could see the change but still...I was barely showing when they would ask! Sometimes I have said "Aren't you glad I am...?" just to let them know that it is totally inappropriate to assume! Others, though wouldn't even ask even though I was waddling down the hallway about to go on mat. leave!

Anyway, a person who would ask you that while you are holding an infant is inconsiderate, especially a woman! Almost nobody loses the baby weight immediately and even if they do, it is a very rare woman who snaps back into the same body shape...ever. You could weigh less than pre-baby and still be shaped differently, esp. after a C. My guess is that you are NOT fat. 25lbs does not make a woman fat if she started out in the normal range.

One tip, though...don't be afraid of clothes that fit you instead of dressing in baggier clothing, as we tend to do if we gain. Take a 'you' day and shop without kids for some good basics that fit your new shape. Wearing clothing that fits you well will actually help you look and feel thinner.

I remember when my son's teacher asked me that a couple of months after I had my baby. The look on my face must have said everything-because I could see she felt awkward. So I just politely smiled and said the baby is at home with grandma...and hopefully that experience taught her not to do that again with anyone else as I learned the same so that I would not let any woman feel the way I felt.

Hi J.,
People are so rude. I worked with a girl and someone asked when she was due and was not pregnant. She was so upset and not big. She carried any extra weight in her middle as well. I don't understand why anyone would do that. I agree with Lacy and maybe some new clothes would help. When I had my both my boys I tended for loose shirts to help hide my belly (I've had 2 C-sections). My husband one day got a sitter and we went shopping. It was a nice surprise. He told me I had to get rid of all my shirts that make me look pregnant. He was right they were really loose and some were a few sizes to big. I felt better in clothes that were actually my size. LOL! Hang in there.
Chris

I would continue with those reponses! I agree that "when are you due" is NEVER an appropriate questions. I don't care if it obvious the woman is pregnant. You NEVER say that!!!