Potty Training My 2 Year Old Daughter, Need Advice Plz

With both of my daughters, I took them "panty shopping". They liked the idea of picking out their own panties that they wanted to wear but was told the could wear them only if they used the potty. It worked really well. With me second, she also got the DVD Elmo goes Potty. She loves Elmo and watched it every day and that helped out a lot too.

Bottomline, and a very simplistic answer: she is not ready. I have three children and all of them potty-trained very quickly when they were between 2 1/2 and 3 yrs old. Too many try to rush this. My two cents.

one trick for if they ask for a diaper to poop. Go in stages - they have to use the diaper in the bathroom to poop. Then after they do that for a few days they have to use the diaper while sitting on the potty (diaper on, butt on potty), then you cut a hole in the diaper and they sit on potty with diaper on (that has hole in it where poop would drop) and some poop goes into the potty cause of the hole. Hole gets bigger and since they are seeing it end up in the potty it should work out good that soon you can just not even use the diaper and they are ok pooping on the potty.
Pull ups are diapers and kids know it. Use underwear - the looser the better if you did naked butt training. I have one daycare boy that works great comando - he pees in undies but won't with just pants and no undies. Pretty sure it's cause the tightness of undies feels too much like diaper tightness.

Whatever you do, and I'm sure you will get opposite advice, do NOT GIVE UP. I have trained over a hundred kids, and if you give up you are asking for another YEAR at least, if you stick with it, you will be done in a month or two.

Based on my experience with my son and now my daughter (in the middle of learning to use the potty)--it's going to take awhile.

Skip the pull-ups, they're expensive diapers that many kids have a hard time pulling down and up.

Consider using cloth trainers so she can feel the wet and understand that peeing leads to wetness. I tried all that can be purchased at Target. The best can be purchased online from cloth diaper stores. I've tried several.

My favorite stores is Nicki's Diapers (www.nickisdiapers.com). They have a good selection of trainers.

Here's my favorites:

--Imse Vmse trainers if she's not wearing pants. They're cotton terry on the inside and have a waterproof layer in the middle. With a big pee, they are saturated and can leak on pants. They fit snugly and are very soft.

--Bummis trainers. Very good! They run big so a small or medium will work for most toddlers. They are a little lumpy--my daughter sometimes looks like she's carrying a tire around her waist. They catch pees really well and I've used them overnight as well.

--Swaddlebees minkee trainers. Very favorite. Also run big. A small or medium will work for most toddlers. They're cute, VERY absorbent (excellent for night). Also a little lumpy. Quite expensive! (www.swaddlebees.com)

I recommend 8-10 trainers. Believe me, you will spend less than you would on months of pull-ups. Switch your laundry detergent to Country Save or Charlie's (buy at Amazon or local health food store) and skip the fabric softeners as they can hinder the waterproofness.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I would just wait until she is older. All 3 of my children 'got it' right around 3 years of age. I think she still may be too young. Good luck!

When I potty trained my four, I did not use diapers at all during the day. I think it is confusing for them. I used the thick trainer underwear and when we had a success on the potty they got to wear the special underwear (dora, princess, spiderman, etc). This way they could tell when they wet and it is not comfortable so they don't just continue playing when wet. It took them the first week for wet and the second week for BM. I took away the diaper at nap/overnight as soon as they woke up dry. Anytime there was success on the big potty, we of course did the happy dance, high five's anything to make a big deal out of the success.
Good Luck!

D.

Telling you they need to go takes time, and from what I've read, it takes them a long time. My daughter tells me or takes herself the bulk of the time, but she still doesn't always get the timing right (they are young, and easily distracted after all!)

My daughter was in trainers at 18 months, and 99% trained, night and day at 23 (we are having a slight nighttime regression, but she will stay dry if she is in her cloth diaper and not her undies!)....

In any case, it took me 3 months to get my daughter to put her poop in the potty. I let her poop everyday in her cloth trainers (messy!) and we would go to the bathroom and clean her up, and flush the poop down the toilet. Everyday you need to make a ritual out of flushing the poop. Also, I read her "everybody poops." I found this really helpful to get her to stop hiding. I don't know if it might help with being scared of the potty?

If I was you, I'd discuss going poop on the potty with her everyday, trying to find out why she doesn't want to use the toilet. I'd also think about not letting her have the diaper. I really think they are either "too big" for diapers or they are not. So, if you are truly committed to potty training her, then you need to say good-by to diapers, including pull ups, and put cloth trainers on her. Yes, it will be messy. Yes, it will be frustrating, but it will give her the chance to learn more about control and timing. Save the pull-ups for bed and naps, and commit to her being "too big."

Then, get yourself a schedule. Part of potty learning is teaching potty etiquette (you go when you wake up in the morning, before leaving the house, etc). Eventually, they will then just take themselves or tell you they need to go.

So tell her that starting tomorrow, she is "too big" for diapers, and get her some fun trainers. Then, go let her pick out some terrific undies, buy some fruit snacks or another treat she never gets, and tell her then when she puts her poop in the potty, she gets to wear her special undies and have some fruit snacks. My daughter was so motivated to wear her "elmos" and have "dora" fruit snacks that it took me only a few days to get her going poop on the potty (once I figured out something that motivated her). At the end of that week, she not only put her poop in the potty everyday --taking herself off to do it!- but she also woke up dry every morning.

It's all connected, so if you can figure out how to get the poop in the potty, you should see great strides in her overall training.
Good luck and hang in there! And get your potty dance ready! Praise is the best motivator, I've found.

Try the ebook 3 day potty training by Lora jensen. That helped us tons and we started training at 22 months with our daughter. It's panties only at home and she pees and poos in the toilet. She wears pull ups for nap, bed, and outings, but half the time we get home and the pull up is dry. We are not 100% accident free at home, but she tells us when she has to go.

I agree with Elizabeth-go to www.3daypottytraining.com and get the e-book. It is an amazing method. My daughter was pretty much potty trained within the 3 days. I didn't ever use pull-ups or trainers. This method is cold turkey no diapers, pullups, or trainers. We put a plastic mattress pad on her bed for easy nighttime cleanup, but honestly she hardly had any accidents at night. I also really like the Graco potty, it is not super small like a lot of the other little potties. That could be part of the poopy issue. When the seat was uncomfortable, my daughter didn't want to sit there long. Anyway, get the e-book and don't worry I think you are on the right track and it sounds like she is ready. Good luck!

C.

First of all, get rid of the pull ups, except for nap and bedtime. Have her wear underwear and plastic pants every day, all day. Tell her every 45 minutes that it is time to go potty, do not ask her if she has to go, tell her it is time to go. If she goes, make a big deal about it and give her a sticker on a chart. Do not give up and do not let her tell you to put her in a diaper or a pull up.
I do daycare and have trained many children. I just trained a 33 month old in a week. I got her and the first week I had her she was going in the potty. Good luck.

Its early, don't sweat it. She will get it, with positive encouragement. keep doing what you are doing, but if she doesn't tell you she has to pee she may not be recognizing it yet. Poop? well a lot of kids have that later. At least she tells you when she has to do that. Don't force her yet, she is still very very young for this. average for a girl is between 21/2 and 3.
Good luck!

You can't make her tell you when she needs to go... she will attain that ability when she is ready and matured about it.
Until then... they are still acquiring the skills.... to learn it. It is a process that can take LOTS of time/weeks/months. Unless the child is ready themselves.

She is still real young.

There are many methods parents use. But mostly, don't force it... or make it a battle.
Once a child gets constipated.... it is a real big problem... because then they will "withhold" their poop... and this will cause biological problems... and even in some cases, "encppresis." And you will have to have her treated by a Doctor.
A Toddler, will get constipated... if they feel that pooping is a battle... and if they are not able to poop, period, and not allowed to go in a toilet.
My daughter, when she was that age... had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.... because she got constipated. He said MANY toddlers go through this, when potty training. He said that once a chld starts to "withhold" their poop... it can take MONTHS to UNDO that problem... because at that point, it turns into a (1) emotion based problem and, (2) a biological problem because all that hardened/constipated/back-logged poop in their body is bad for the intestines... and then it causes pain when a child then has to poop... then since it is painful.... the child will not want to poop, and will "withhold" it... and then the vicious cycle has been entrenched.
-For my daughter, even though we did not pressure her about pottying.. she just got anxious... about pooping IN her potty chair or toilet. So, for her and per the Doctor, it took MONTHS for her to overcome the associated negativity with it all... AND for her poop to soften up to a normal consistency in which it would not cause her "pain" upon pooping.

Pooping in a toilet, does NOT happen all at the same time in tandem with peeing in a toilet. It occurs in stages... as the child gets comfortable about the whole entire process, and then their body, and their developmental ability and their motor-skills.

So per the Doctor my daughter saw... he really abhors forced potty training.. .and rewards/punishments in order to 'make' a child do it. He said these don't work. The CHILD has to be 'ready' , first.

All the best,
Susan

My daughter was potty trained very young at 21 months. And she was the same way with wanting a diaper to go number 2...but everytime she brought me a diaper i would just go sit her on her potty chair and she would go. Oh, one thing I will mention is that she would pee in her little training potty but would not poop in there, so we bought her the princess potty seat that goes on the toilet and a stool and she just wanted to use it every time. Every child is different. I believe my little one was motived with the purchase of big girl panties everytime we went to the store for the first few weeks. LOL. She had it down after a good 4 weeks. Just keep trying! Good Luck!

I just want to say good luck because my little girl is 3 and still not ready for potty training. If you succeed let me know.

Hi there. She may not be ready. Even though girls usually start earlier than boys, it has to be taken one step at a time. My daughter was fully potty trained at around 23 months but she went through something similar. She would always sit in a corner with her diaper when she had to go poop. I just let her do her thing, but keep reminding her. Eventually, she just did it on her own. The reminders will get her there, but every 30 minutes may be much. And at this stage of childhood development, autonomy is the key to her wanting to master anything (I'm a nurse). If she feels like you're pushing her and not letting it master herself, she will regress and thus, maybe not want or feel ready to do this because she may or may not feel like she has any control. Good luck.

Updated

Sara: sorry forgot to mention we did get her a princess potty seat for the toilet, and a great thing that works is the rewards system. I still use it for sleeping thru the night, eating veggies, etc. Make a sticker chart and say every time she fills up X number of boxes, she gets to pick a prize at her favorite store-works very well!

HI Sara!!
My niece did the same exact thing (she now does poop on the potty and she started that around her third birthday). My sister in law was stumped too, and her little girl would get very constipated-she seemed afraid to poop on the potty. The sweet girl was in pain from holding it, but now she doesn't have a problem! She would poop in her pull-up, but sometimes not for a couple days--my sister and brother in law didn't push it, but she got anxious about pooping.

I guess my only advice is don't worry-at least she pees on the potty and the poop will come too:) You could also try to talk to her (if she's vocal enough); also, just let her do it on her own time--she'll get there:)

Good luck and breathe:)
H

Every child is different when it comes to training them to use the potty. One thing you can do is to reward her for her progress by coaching her on. Letting her know that she is a big girl now. Start introducing to toys that demonstrates mommy-hood. While at the same time reminding her to go in the potty. Be creative. "If you be good, I will buy you a big girl present." Always keeping her level of progress in mind.

After potty training 3 kids successfully before 2 1/2 years of age, I believe the only thing to do is put them in thick training underwear (you can purchase a pack at Walmart/Kmart) and brace yourself. It can be a couple of days to a couple of weeks of "hell" but then it's done! If they feel the need to go and "wet" themselves, they won't be that quick to do it again. Frequent stops to the bathroom to "try", a portable potty in the car (great for camping/road trips later) and a change of clothes is all you need. In my opinion pull ups only prolong the dependence on diapers. Good luck and stay strong!