Potty Training a Boy?

Hi K.!
First off just remember, we all eventually are potty trained. One thing that worked for me with a 2 yr old I was watching, was my husband would stand & pee & little Dave thought that was cool (instead of sitting like a girl). The other thing I did was put underwear on him as soon as he got to my house. Yes it is messy at times but after a while they understand how yucky it is to be wet. Yes I did wash a lot of clothes (including shoes 'cause everything runs down hill). Just be patient & don't force it. Oh, by the way the falling in the toilet thing is really scary. My Grandmother has one of the old tall toilets & when I was young my butt ended up in the water with my feet straight up in the air & my Mom literally had to pull me out. For a long time I would not use that toilet.

Good luck!

I used an eBook called Potty Training in 3 Days and it has worked very well with my 2 year old. We actually started using the book when he was 18 months and have had great success.

Wow I remember those days & am dreading them again. I have a son who is now 17 & he was a bear to potty train. He wasn't fully trained till he was almost 4. You just need to have patience & understanding. To get my son to pee pee in the potty we kept a cup of cheerios on the back of the toilet, when he expressed a desire to try & he had "target practice" Good luck!

First, try not to get too frustrated. My almost-5-yr-old son potty trained just fine for peeing, but was almost 4 before he would poopy on the pot, whether it was a full size toilet, or a potty chair. It may be that falling in did scare him some, but most likely he just isn't ready, either maturity-wise, or he's just stubborn. One of our doctors suggested sitting him on the toilet approximately 10 minutes after each meal, then setting a timer for 10 minutes. He must understand that he must sit there for the full ten minutes, as this is the amount of time that studies have shown will condition his body to respond by evacuating the bowels. Once the timer goes off, he gets to pull a bagged treat from a basket that is in plain view of the toilet, but out of reach. The doctor recommended getting 20 days worth of dollar store prizes, and he gets a prize whether he "goes" or not. After 20 days, his body should be conditioned whether he wants it to be or not. Then you can simply make sure he goes to the toilet after eating, and he should be close to fully trained. Give it a try...it worked for us!!

I was able to successfully potty train my son at 2 1/2 years old and it only took ONE month (for #1 AND for #2). I went to the dollar store and bought party favors and painstakenly gift-wrapped each one. It wasn't a good wrapping job but that didn't matter. I used a clear container (from cheeseballs from Costco) and put the presents inside, 3/4 full (or to whatever you feel you'll need), and set it on the counter next to the toilet for him to see. He was very excited to see all the little presents. Everytime he peed on the potty, he got a present BUT there were rules. 1. HE had to tell me when he had to go and/or 2. He didn't fight me to go. So, if he peed his pants, he didn't get a present. If it was time that I felt he should go and he fought me, he didn't get a present. Yes, there were a couple of tears where he wanted a present but I told him that it was HIS choice of getting a present or not. Of course, he received all sorts of praise and high-fives for when he did go. At first I clocked it. The first day or two, I took him to the potty every 1/2 hour, then every 45 minutes then after a couple more days every hour and so on. I was also consistent: Go to the potty first thing in the morning, before and after bath, before bed. But the presents really helped. It was a great motivator especially for him to see the container next to the toilet. I did the same thing for when he would do #2 but I bought larger presents (a spiderman notebook for him to "draw" in, for ex.) and kept them hidden under the sink since he didn't go as often as #1. I didn't want the larger presents to distract from the smaller presents. He learned very quickly that he was in control of his body and his actions and learned consequences. The bonus was that everytime he pulled out a present, he would pull out an extra one for his baby brother (13 months at the time and which is why I had to fill it so high) so he learned to share with his brother while learning to go potty. I thought that was just wonderful! Currently, we are dealing with wet pull-ups in the morning. I am now getting him up once during the night to take him to the potty and when he wakes up dry, he'll get a sticker of his choice to put on his calendar to mark how many days he is dry. He's been dry every morning for a week now. Good luck! Oh, after a month, when I felt he had the technique of using the potty down and he unwrapped his last present, that was it. He opened all the presents and there were no more. He asked and begged for more presents for a short while but he could see that there weren't any more and I eventually took the container away. Every now and then he'll ask about a present but I just remind him that he opened all of them and changed the subject. (I didn't want to remind him that he got the present for using the potty in fear of reverting back to peeing his pants. I didn't want him to remember that connection). Good luck!!!

We didn't potty train my son until he was 3 because he just wasn't interested. Then, his incentive was starting preschool. He couldn't start preschool until he was out of diapers. We used M&M's as his reward. (Yes, I know you're not *supposed* to use food as rewards, but it worked nicely.) Sticker charts never worked for us. I tend to think that 2 or 3 is just a bit too young for that.

Anyway, my point is, even now my son sometimes won't tell us when he has to go and he's 3 1/2. He gets caught up in playing, etc... For the first couple of months we just took him to the bathroom every hour. After that, we asked him every hour. Now, if we notice it's been awhile and he's playing or something, we'll ask.

It just takes some time and it may be that your son just isn't ready yet. If he's not interested, don't push it. You don't want it to become a power struggle. I've heard that the average age of (successful) potty training is 2 months before 3 for girls and 2 months after 3 for boys. I once had a good friend tell me that you can potty train for a year at 2 or you can potty train for a week at 3. So far it seems to be holding true for us.

Good luck!

I have two boys one is 4 1/2 and the other one is almost 2 years. Potty training is another milestone that your child really has to be ready for. We started potty training our older son when he was 2, but it was not until he was almost 3 that he really understood the concept and that in order to be a "big boy" he needed to go on the potty and not use a diaper. We went cold turkey, he got to go to the store and pick out his own big boy underpants and at first we took him to the potty every 20-30 minutes. Eventually he started going on his own and we did give him m&m's as his special reward. Yes he did have accidents and we told him that if he had an accident we would have to throw his big boy underpants away. I of course did not throw them away every time. We did use underpants that had a liner for when we went out in public. (one step ahead sells underpants that do not leak, yet they look and feel like big boy pants). The pull ups are just a glorified diaper. Good Luck :)

I have not started this process yet but my son's pediatrician said that if he shows any signs of not being interested or aversion to the potty after I start to stop it all together and wait till he's ready. I guess if you force the issue then they hate it even more and it becomes a power struggle. It sounds like you are doing all of the right things but maybe just stop it for a while and see if he asks to go on his own or wait until he shows interest again. She said to put the potty away and everything. Hope that helps!

Have you tried the video "Once Upon a Potty"? The book isn't as good, but the video finally helped put it all together for my three year old son. That and putting Cheerios into the toilet so he had something to aim for which made the whole process much more fun for him...OY! But it got to the point I was willing to try anything. Once I convinced my husband to show him how to aim at the Cheerios, it was a piece of cake after that. He begged to go potty. Just make sure you have a stool in front of the potty that is easy for him to step up on.

Good luck! E.

I have three boys (4 and 3 year old twins). I have to agree with many of the other postings - lay-off - don't stress - he will do it when he is ready - the more you push the more he will most likely resist (even if you don't think it is obvious you are pushing - they know). My oldest was trained at about 2 1/2 and the twins just turned three - one has decided to be trained within the past couple of weeks and the other isn't interested - I'm not worried about it.

He might just be too young. My son potty trained himself when he was just about 3 years old. You've introduced the concept, but let it be his idea to go! I didn't wait with my first and it took forever to potty train. With my son, I had a baby and no time to focus on training. When he started coming inside from playing to go, I realized he was ready! Just be patient. The more you push, the more he will resist.

dear K.,

i think he did get scared. i would let it go for a few days and see what he does on his own and try again. I would not make it such a big deal though like reading books and all that. when he is ready he will go.

when my youngest was 2.5 he wouldn't go at all. one day i was going out shopping and he turned to me with his little finger pointing at me and said, 'and mom don't forget my pampers.' thats when i said to him, 'if you can remember that you can remember to go to the potty,' and that was the last box of pampers he was on. after that i put him in big boy underwear and if he got poopy he felt it and didn't like it. if he peed he didn't like it. training was done and it was a blessing. these pampers of today are very good not like the ones we had 30+ years ago. they really don't see the need to go to the bathroom. so try the underwear and see how it goes. he might have to 'feel it and feel yucky' before he wants to finally go potty.

best wishes, L.

Most boys I know didn't really train until after 3. My Mom did all of the things that you are doing with no luck. Finally she was at the store one day with my brother and there was a toy that he REALLY wanted. So she said, ok, if you go to the potty and don't have any accidents for 10 days, we'll come back and get it. As soon as they got home he went right into the bathroom, and never had another accident. He was thrilled the next week when they went and got the toy.

The only thing that really worked with my son was changing to real underware right before his 3rd bday. He didn't like the cold feeling or that other people could see what he had done. The peeing part took only 2 days, the BM part took a lot longer. When he did have an accident, I wouldn't say anything, I would just sigh and give him a look then take my time getting around to changing his outfit, this increased the 'i don't like this feeling' aspect.

Do you have a training toilet? We used one that played a song when they 'flushed'. You could also try getting a urinal. They sell it at Toys R Us. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2720212

Also, keep in mind, for some reason, it takes longer for them to learn to use the potty for BMS then peeing.

K.,
I too have a boy who I'm getting ready to potty train. My son just turned three a couple of weeks ago and seems to be ready. I don't know if you need to potty train your son for a specific reason like day care, but I have read and been told by my pediatrician that most children will successfully potty train when they are ready, which statistically turns out to be three years old and later. My sister-in-law tried with her son when he was around 2 1/2 and tried for several months and ended up with nothing except a lot of frustration. She held off for almost a year and when she tried again when he was older and showed interest he was trained in one day. One great book she recommended to me and I'm currently reading is called Potty Train Your Child In Just One Day by Teri Crane. I like the concept she uses and that she makes the day be all about potty training and involving your child in potty training a doll or favorite stuffed animal. There is a lot of fun activities, books and movies on potty training little gifts for positive reinforcement. At the end of the day you have family over and have a party to celebrate all the pottying that happened and all the great positive feedback your child receives. I have just noticed things in my son now that show me he is interested in potty training, signs that he is ready, signs that were not there a couple of months ago. Little things, like wanting to get himself dressed, or leaving the room or hiding in a corner when he has a bowel movement. The book lists a whole bunch of signs. I hope this has given you some hope, and possible information to use. The book is worth reading. Just remember not to stress yourself, your husband or your son over it. If were to hard on them about going to the potty to early on it can cause more delay.

Good Luck,
L. P.

I understand your "pain" When my daughter was that age, she showed signs but it good one day and bad the next. All I know is that all of the sudden it will click and he will be going all the time on the potty no questions asked. After "pushing" my daughter, I came to realize, I will not push my son, just wait until he is truly ready.

Good Luck!

Have you tried putting cheerios in the potty and having him shoot them? That worked for my son.

he just may not be ready. he may not quite be aware of when it is that he's got to get up in order to make it to the potty in time to use it. That is, he knows that there is a feeling associated with having to go potty, but his timing isn't there yet and it doesn't occur to him to verbalize it, even if you are constantly asking him.
Does he indicate that he's got to go? that is, does he dance around or grab at his back side? Until our son was actually making physical signs that indicated to us he needed to use the potty, he really wasn't ready. We started at 2 and 1/2 as well, but he's just now been fully PT'd for a month and turned 3 two weeks ago!
Every child is different, but I think that they use the potty when they are ready and not a moment sooner! Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to tell when that moment will come!

good luck!

wow that sounds just like my son,i also am trying to potty train my 2 year old son, he will sit on the potty and I also make a big deal if he even sits on the potty,we read books too. My son will actually sit on the potty for like a half an hour and not go to the bathroom then when he is ready to get up he pees!! Im getting frustrated but I actually went to the doctors the other day and my doctor said its the start of it all. Maybe your son just isnt ready, keep on encouraging him and whenever he wants to try to sit on the potty let him,Im sure he will get the hang of it very soon. good luck,let me know how you make out

Try finding something he REALLY wants and buy it...but don't give it to him. Put it up high in the bathroom where he can see it but not get it. Then tell him if he can make it let's say 3 day w/o having a potty accident he can have the toy. Start out small and if it works he can work his way up to bigger prizes/going w/o accidents longer. OR I also used a potty prize box where every time my daughter made it to the potty she got a prize. It was a special decorated box with little cheapy toys/candy in it. And we made a HUGE deal everytime she got one. Remember, boys do usually take a little longer. I didn't get my daughter trained til she was almost3 1/2 and I have friends with boys who have taken longer (not for a lack of trying). You'll make it! Good Luck!!

I am sure you do not want to hear this but here goes. Stop. Give him another 3-6 months and try again. If you wait to 3 he will pretty much train himself, he will tell you. The more you push now the longer it is going to take. He also will start to use it against you to get what he wants. Sorry. Aren't boys fun! Good luck.

Hi K.,
I was there last year and thought my youngest would NEVER become potty trained. First, don't rush it - he will get it when it is time. One thing that helped us was the "contest". My oldest (6) and my husband made it a game to go at the same time. This may sound awful (girls don't encourage this type of behavior), they put fruity rings in the toilet and aimed. Whoever got the most won. Sounds bad, but it worked. Eventually - he didn't need cereal anymore and just went on his own. We also had to not use pull-ups except at night. This is messy, but it works. Pull-ups are great, but can sometimes be confusing. Well I hope it works...

Hi K.
I too have a 2 1/2 year old - well almost 3, he just started using the potty for everything since Feb 6 and since then he only had one accident at daycare. What I did was asked him if he wanted to go potty like daddy standing up. He was all excited about doing what daddy did and since then we have had no trouble-we also do the stickers. Then Daddy offered a trip to Toys r us if he went potty all week on the potty like a big boy - That was a big success and for his efforts he got the fire truck that he had seen on tv. Brandon too was excited and into going on the potty around two - then he lost interest unless he wanted a certain kind of candy then he would potty. But right now we are going on 3 full weeks with only one accident (knock on wood). I know it takes alot of patients because you know they can do it - it is just a matter of them wanting to do it. Good luck and know that when he is ready he will. I was beginning to think Brandon was never going to do it - but after the 3 days he wanted big boy underwear and wanted me to get rid of all the diapers - So far we are doing great!! have a great weekend!!

Hi K.,

Your son is not ready physiologically to be potty trained. Just wait, he will be ready when his biological clock ticks for the time. Boys, time clock is different than girls. It will happen on its own. Good luck. D.

I am a mother of 3, and my 3rd is only 20 months, so it's not quite time to start potty training him yet. But I have successfully potty trained my other two, a boy and a girl, before they turned three. I can say what every you are doing, just be patient and consistant. Even if they are not interested, just keep up with it. It will happen when they are ready, and not a second before. There will be a defining moment when he will become more interested, and then it will click, and oh' what a day that is!!! You sound like you have it all down, just keep it up. And whatever scared feelings he is having, just be loving, and encouraging, and talk with him about it. They understand more than we think at this age. This is a great moment in a mommy's life, so take time to really enjoy this process!! God Bless!

I too, have a 3 year old boy and it's now hit and miss with him going on the potty. They'll do it when their ready, I know that may not sound like the greatest advice but I think the harder I tried to make him go on the potty, I felt I had alot more resistance from him. I am now at the point, he'll go pee in the potty, but the other, it's in his pullup. That could be another thing to try; using pull-ups, they think they are "big boys" being able to pull their pullup up or down by them themselves. Good luck!

Boys usually take longer than girls and he may not be ready just yet but please keep up the potty training. It will be even harder if you put him back in diapers and not in pull ups or whatever you may be using. Just keep going forward. Hope it works for you L.

Krita,
I have two wonderful boys, almost 5 and 7. Each was their own individual for potty training. My older child potty trained at 2 yrs 10 mo and has hardly ever had an accident(even overnight) since then. However, my son that will be 5 next month, waited until ~3 1/2 to fully potty train and still has problems overnight when he is having a growth spurt. The biggest piece of advice I could give you is to relax and realize each child DOES potty train in their own time. Don't stress about it. When my younger son lost interest, we quit pushing so hard. Suddenly one day, he wanted to be a big boy and that was the end of any daytime accidents. No pushing, no arguments and no frustration - on his part or mine. Hang in there!

K. B.

Slow down. At 2 1/2, your little guy might not have everything he needs to be potty trained. All you can do is encourage his interest when he shows it.

First, children need to be able to put together the sensation of having to go with the act of urination/defecation. One of the easiest ways to start that process is to let your son run around the back yard in a long tee shirt. After a few 'accidents' he will begin to connect the dots.

You don't need charts, rewards, treats to encourage potty training. This kind of system can often backfire, and then you have to untrain your child to expect a reward for doing something.

Be patient. I started to let my son run around in his long shirt when he was two. He had a potty of his own in every bathroom, and would mimic behavior but rarely use it. I'd put him on the potty whenever he would start to pee, and explain that this was the right place to go to the bathroom. He was sleeping dry through the night by the time he was three and a half, but at almost five, he still has a nighttime accident if he drinks too much too late at night.

Your child will catch on when he's ready. One tip for limiting all those messy problems related to standing up and peeing? Cheerio targets in the toilet. You can also have fun with food coloring in the water; put blue coloring in the water and let him turn it green... or red color, etc.

Good luck! It just takes time and patience.

C.
http://www.solomother.com

I think your over doing it. I understand you want your son potty trained but i think if you should much interested in it you actually turn children off on it. He may think he can't measure up to what you have in store for him. I would do two things. First if you are using diapers or pull ups during the day i would stop. Put under ware on him, next i would take away all awards but one. Either have him put stickers on a board or get a prize. I would stop everything for a few weeks and than start this new method. That way you are starting fresh. Don't be over happy about it kind of act like it's expected of him for his age. So he's doing it because he's growing up not because you want him to.

Everyone I know has had more success when they waited until their boy is 3 or older, with only a few exceptions, such as when an older brother or cousin can show him the ropes.

We started with my son at about 2 years 3 months and he was fairly consistent by 2 1/2. What worked for us was M&Ms. Also he was standing to pee most of the time by 2 1/2. Now aim isn't great, but we never really had a problem. It seemed like this gave him a little more control. It also REALLY helps to have a supportive school to assist with this process! Where my son was at first was not supportive at all, but when he moved to his montessori school they helped him a lot. While we still had an occasional accident after this we were pretty much trained by 2 1/2. By 3 he didn't have any accidents. We also didn't have to do M&Ms much past 2 1/2, so for a couple of months it worked great then we used them as an occasional reward and slowly stopped using them all together. We also have a couple potty videos and books that he liked to watch and read.

This may not make you feel better, but the best thing you can do is to essentially lay-off. When my son first started potty training we did exactly what you explained, then he backed off and wouldn't go in the potty. We decided that since he was under 3, we would take him if he asked, tell him we were proud of him and just leave it alone. I did get him a potty seat from babies r us, it was more his size and a book about potty training from amazon.com (see link below). I didn't read him the book in association with anything, just whenever we would read I would put it in the pile and he actually loved the book. Then he just started telling us he had to go and would go in his potty, we tried as hard as possible not to ask or say anything if he had an accident. Wouldn't you know...in about a week, he went every time. He'll even wake up from his nap dry. Also, put him in those thick "training" pants, they're all cloth, you can get them at target. They're really the best way to let them know that they are wet. Also, be ready to except he's not ready yet and give him a little more time. The less you push the easier it will be!! Good luck and check out this book!!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CSBP18
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689874235

Hi K.,

Here's a little trick my Dad used when training my brother. He had him peeing in a tin can, like a big coffee can. It has to be a metal can because the big payoff is the sound it makes. You know how boys are! It always takes longer for training bowel movements. Also, there is a book called: Potty Training in Less Than a Day. The most important thing is that the child has to be ready for potty training and no amount of rewards or anything else will help until they are ready. You can't go by age either because children all develope at their own pace. Good luck with your little guy. Abuela

Poor guy :0( You're probably right about being scared after falling in. Have you tried having him aim for cheerios in the potty - standing up? I start out all of my daycare guys sitting but we do eventually start standing - I had one little guy that had the seat lid fall on him at home and that scared him so we figured that out and always had him hold the seat up after that. They would aim for Cheerios or Fruit Loops - something like that. I use a sticker chart here too and that works very well. One thing I do differently I don't ask them to go to the potty - I tell them it's time. If he's scared - asking is giving him a way out to not go.

I have twin 3 year olds, potty training was a slow process. My son too fell into the potty a few times and really got scared. I backed off for a couple of months, making sure to let him see me and our older son using the potty. One day he told me he wanted to go to the potty, he didn't want a wet diaper anymore. It was a couple of weeks and he was going on his own with no accidents, night-time training took a couple of more months and my mom watching them one night told him he was too old for diapers at night anymore. He's been dry ever since. I guess my best suggestion is that you should give him a break and try again in a month or so.

Listen, he is going to do it when he is ready. Boys tend to not be ready until a little later. Mine were 3 or a little older. It goes a lot faster if you just sit back and wait for them to be ready rather than spending 6-9 mos. cleaning up messes. When they are ready they will tell you they want to use the potty or wear underwear and then it will be smooth sailing from there. Don't feel pressured by all of the other moms who brag about their kids doing it early, what do they get for being able to use the potty earlier- nothing!! RELAX
M.

I have a 2 1/2 year old boy. I used the method in the book "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day." It took about 3 hours. You can find it on Amazon. My little guy still uses pull ups for nap time and night time though. Good luck!

Is he in pull ups? We just potty trained our 3 year old boy. My first was potty trained at 2.5, but our second took longer, seem to fight it more. He was as you decribed until we said, let's put big boy underwear on him, and read him the "big kid" potty books. He had accidents only the first few days, and now he's potty trained. To help prevent accidents, we have designated potty times, before going out to play etc. I imagine that your boy is getting close. Does he like the idea of big kid underwear? Spiderman or batman or something that will excite him? They also sell some that are thicker in front, for the accidents. Good luck!

I have a 4 year old son and also struggled with potty training. It has been my experience (along with 4 other friends of mine who are mothers of boys) that boys take longer to potty train than girls. My son was very interested in the potty at 2, but then lost interest. I tried everything I could think of to get him excited about it, but it just didn't work so I gave up for a while. He would try when he wanted to, but I stopped my efforts to coax him.
When he was 3, he got interested again. He liked being a "big boy" like his older friends and dad, especially standing up at the toilet to pee. I used a sticker chart (with m&m reinforcers some of the time), which was fun for him. Still, he had trouble knowing when to go. We used pull ups for a while, then switched to underwear when he was dry most of the time.
He went through many periods of time when he would constantly have accidents and I would have to set a timer to remind him to go (he would listen to the timer, but didn't like it when I would remind him to go).
This training period lasted for about a year! I had no idea it could take so long, but most of my friends with boys have had the same experience. Finally, when he started PreK this year,he is able to stay dry with only a few accidents a week. He still cannot stay dry at nap or bedtime.
Anyway, don't dispair!!! Some boys just take a while to get ready and/or get trained.

You may not want to hear this, but I'd advise you to discontinue training and wait until he's interested. I really think once a child, particularly boy who are more prone to withholding issues, is motivated to potty train, then it goes very easily. I didn't even try to potty train my boy until he asked a few months before he turned three, and then after a week of pullups and acquainting him with the mechanics of going potty, I spent a morning home with him in nothing but underwear, and after 3 or 4 accidents, by noon, he was going on the toilet, and never turned back!

With my son, we taught him from the beginning to stand and "go" like Daddy! We made him use the toilet before his bath, after the bath, before meals and would ask in between as well. It takes consistancy and patience. As for having a BM in the toilet, that took a little more effort. We eventually had to stay home for a few days and let him run around with no pants on. Oh, and NO PULL-UPS! Go for the thick cotton underwear and plastic pants so they can feel being wet. Good luck!

It sounds like he's not quite 100% ready. Back off and let him know he can go do it when he's ready. There is a wide range of 'normal' when kids are potty trained. It can be very frustrating on the parents part and even more so for the child who isn't understanding what the big deal is all about.

I have 5 year old twin boys who just weren't ready to potty consistently until after they were 3 years old. They were holding it all night, then peeing in their diapers in the morning. What I finally did was just put them in big boy underwear (and treat them as disposable for number 2!). They each had one peeing accident and one pooped once. After that they have been perfect! This was advice I received from a mother of 5 kids in my MOPS group. "Don't get frustrated. Just put them in big boy underwear and treat them as disposable!"