Potty-training

I started making my daughter use diaper rash cream whenever she pooped in her pants (she hates it and thinks it is for babies since she has a baby sister).

H. - obviously your son KNOWS how to go poop on the potty. He does it away from home. HE GETS IT. But he also knows that he doesn't NEED to do it at home because diaper time will come and then it's Mom's job to clean it up.

When we went diaper free with our son, we KNEW that there would be accidents! And I TOTALLY believe that toilet training happens NOT when the child is ready, but when the PARENTS are ready.

You have to get rid of the diaper. It's the one thing that is holding your child back. But clearly this is only gonna work when YOU are ready.

Yeah - you might have some messes, but you won't have a lot. Your son is ready. Help him by just doing it (no more diapers/pull ups)

Good Luck!

D. in milwaukee

Hi H., I have a very head strong little boy now 4, and he just didnt want to go on the toilet either. He knew he had to go and wanted his diapers on to go. I finally had to have him take his diapers and throw them in the garbage in the garage - and he was actually ok with it! - to get rid of them.
THEN he still insisted on not going poop anymore..... so I let him do this, for three days he didnt go poop, you know-mind over matter :) - then the third day you could tell that he had to go and it was about time, so I gave him some peaches ( he believed that peaches wouldnt make him go poop), THEN, sat in the bathroom for an hour with him, reading stories, and confirming his thoughts that "going poop on the toilet WAS different then going on the toilet only that you now get to go sitting down....". Well, it took an hour, but he finally did it, and his face was precious :) That was it, kind of expression. That wasnt bad at all.

Just hang in there, you will know when the time is right. We pushed a little because we were just tired of those diapers!!!

Good luck !!
deb

Relax and don't make an issue out of it. I would ask him once or twice a day following a meal if he would like to sit on the potty and try. If he says no then I would just drop it. Give him small rewards and lots of praise for small efforts. Have you tried both the big potty and a smaller potty chair? A stool under his feet? At 3 he is beginning to want to be in control and this is the one thing he can control right now. Also, he may be scared, unable to physically control those muscles consistently, or intimidated for some reason. Boys are slower to potty train than girls as a rule.

I am a mom of 2 and a grandma of 1. All 3 kids potty trained in different ways and at different times. Hang in there! He won't graduate from high school not knowing how to go potty :)

I'm not on here much but noticed your message and had to respond. I have no idea what the right ans is to get him to go but I can tell you not to push him. My daughter was pushed by her father's family. She was potty trained and put a diaper on herself to poop. Anyways she was pushed to poop on the toilet and probably ridiculed then she stopped putting a diaper on , and started pooping in her underpants, that of course created more ridicule, which started her holding it more. She refused to poop for 9 days at a time until she couldn't hold it any more and then screamed in pain when she had a bowel movement as wide as a pop can and as long as her thigh poor thing.
We tried milk of magnesia, mineral oil, enemas, nothing worked until we put her on miralax - a powder that is now over the counter- you mix in their drink, we had to basically retrain her bowel muscles, took 3 years of taking that for her to be regular on her own and we had to ween her off of it everytime she stopped taking it she stopped pooping, It got so bad that once when we took her in for a urinary tract infection they didn't think we were taking care of her properly and were going to call social services on us - it is apparently a more serious condition then we thought. It can cause your intestines to stretch and create pockets where waste can sit and get stuck.
Just don't push the kids to poop on the toilet.

H.,
First of all, great job on getting a boy practically potty trained before 3--it is not always easy! Now that he is 3, I understand how you feel about wanting to be totally done with potty training! My daughter did the same thing. You are probably a better mom than me, but I stressed so much about her going poop on the potty! I knew that other kids her age were doing it, why not her? So out of frustration, one day I gave up. I quit pushing her to go. Suddenly, it was her idea to do it, not mine and she did it and hardly ever had an accident.
With my second child, we had her favorite doll "poop" on the potty (I put raisins in the potty chair) and dolly got to watch her favorite movie and do fun stuff--then all of a sudden, my daughter could go too. Plus she knew her older sister could do it, so she did it.
Don't worry. He won't go to kindergarten in a pull up. It will happen. Hang in there....I'm sure you are doing a great job!

Hi! I had a son who was the exact same way. He was scared to sit on the potty and poop. He was afraid it would flush him away, so I let him straddle over the potty. He eventually sat down all the way. Have you asked your son why he won't poop on the potty?

My son also struggled with constipation because he would hold it so long, after I took the diapers away. My pediatrician prescribed Glycolax, which brings moisture to the stool, making it soft enough so he wasn't able to hold it in. It was not runny, just soft. Good luck!

Also, at the library here, they have a wonderful potty training video, which my son loved. I can't remember the name but the librarians are very familiar with it. It has a "Super, Duper Pooper," song on it. I can still remember the tune to this day and it has been three years!

We went through the same thing with out oldest son. I tried all of the socially accepted methods which failed. I took pull-ups away and we went with underwear 24/7. (not fun for me to clean up, but the pull-ups were his comfort zone to poop at naptime and bedtime. . .so I got rid of them) I figured out his schedule for pooping. I told him it was no longer a choice and he would poop in the potty. He sat there and screamed, threw fits, you name it he did it. The first day he sat there for almost 3 hours. (I almost broke down and gave in several times because I felt so guilty and tired of the battle) He finally pooped in the potty and was so proud of himself that he forgot he lost the power struggle. That was a major win for us in the poop battle. The time he sat there lessened every time. He still threw fits from time to time because he is strong-willed and that's what he does. We just stuck to our guns and finally conquered the potty training war.

My oldest was the same way. He took forever to learn how to go poop on the potty. It was hard. He'd hide from me and go in his pants. Because of it, he wore pull-ups until he was five and 1/2. Is your son constipated? That might make him reluctant to go on the potty. Good luck!!!

I had the same problem. My son who will be 4 on the 27th just really started going poop on the potty willingly by himself about a couple months ago and he was potty trained right before he turned three. He would actually not even go sometimes for 2-3 days!! Anyways what really worked for me was I went to the dollar tree and wrapped up about 10 gifts. Then I told him when he goes to the potty he gets a gift. Actually unwrapping something made the present better. (Since they were from the dollar tree, they weren't the best gifts but he still loved it.) Then eventually he just started going and forgot about the presents. Thats what worked for me. Good luck and keep me posted!!

I agree w/ Diane take it away and let him mess himself, have him clean it with you, layer his bed so changes are easier, it will take a few days, one of my boys was the same way and it came down to me saying enough is enough, he cried cause he didn't want to poop on the potty and would hold it forever no matter where we were ( he had a bout w/ constipation early on and associated pooping on the toilet with pain) I actually was afraid he would blow up, but then into day 2 he went and we have never looked back, its up to us sometimes to draw the line. So draw it, and let him know you are done.

i agree with diane and sounds like she went to the same potty training class my husband and i went to..
don't put them in diapers for naps or going out on errands.
only a night timepull up at night since night time training can take till they are 5-6 years old. a lot longer on average.

H.,

I know this sounds gross but if he is still pooping his pants by the time he is 3 1/2 (I wait till 3 1/2 just b/c they should have it down by then) then stand him in the shower stall and make him clean himself up with wipes. Make sure you kindly tell him how much easier it would be to make his poops in the toilet rather than cleaning up his messy bottom himself. After he has had to do that a few times he will get the picture. If that doesn't work then just give it time, he will eventually get it, keep trying!! Good luck.

I have read a book called What to Expect the Toddler Years and they say in his own time his internal clock (everyones differs) will tell him it's time until then don't force or belittle him (not that you do)it only makes them think theres something wrong with him. I am guilty we have a almost 3 yr. old and she all of a sudden started peeing her pants again well after i read the chapter on potty training I now understand who thrie body and brain work Great Book and most times you can find them in a thrift store or a book share club on line for a fairly inexpensive fee. But for info. like this I would even pay full price at Babies R Us. Good Luck.
P.S. I even read that staying dry thru the nite dosen't usually start till 6 or 8 years old. Who knew? Once again good luck