Possibly Repeating Kindergarten

I was once told by a teacher that they NEVER question holding a kid back but WILL question the decision not to. If she needs it, better now than in later grades.

I would absolutely have her repeat. My niece did it and it's been all positive. I know a kid who tested now for the gifted program who was kept out of K so was quite old when he started. Another girl was too shy so she repeated and is doing much better. The work is only going to get harder. My daughter breezed thru K but struggled in 1st some. She's young and if she was petite, I'd have held her back. Why make things hard already? My youngest is an old kindergartener the way her bday falls and it's so much more relaxing knowing she'll go into 1st ahead. My friends daughter repeated k and they're very glad. No big stigma at all! Blame it on her behavior if you want... Lots of brilliant people had behavior issues so there's less judgement.

My son repeated Kindergarten for alot of reasons, mostly immaturity but it was the best thing we ever did. Do not hesitate to have her repeat. If you don't she'll always (or at least for a long time) struggle to keep up. Now THAT would effect her self esteem much more than just repeating a grade at a very young age.
My son is now in third grade and he occasionally will comment about "repeating Kindergarten" but it doesn't bother him anymore. Just make sure you assure her that it's not a big deal, because it's really not.

School has definitely changed a lot since some of us were children. In kindergarten, I remember painting, playing house, building with blocks, having a snack, having a nap, learning my ABC's and 123's, and then going home before lunch. That was it.

In my daughter's K class, she learned not only the 7 continents but about 50 countries and their cultures...and that was just for history. She learned to read, add and subtract, etc etc...

She's now in 2nd grade math and starting to multiply and divide, and can add and subtract 4 digit numbers in her head. Crazy, right?

But I don't think it's necessarily bad to push them...the ones that have that potential...because our country is really, really falling behind. Even those who aren't up to advanced learning still need to be ahead of where we were at, playing games in K. It's just a more competitive world these days.

You want your child to succeed, and I really do recommend having her repeat K if she's not on course with her peers. To fall behind and stay there will only make her continue to fall farther behind. I educate by mastery...meaning, you don't move on to the next thing until you've mastered this last. This ensures that key elements aren't missing to cause failure later down the line.

Don't be afraid to hold her back. I believe studies show that children who are held back at an early age than those who are allowed to continue on without mastering the knowledge they need. It's not that children who succeed do worse...it's those in between, really, that can slip through the cracks. Someone who does just well enough to pass isn't likely to continue to succeed.

Do what's best for her, even if it means holding her back. It's really the long run that counts, even if it seems a little harsh at the moment. I wish you well!

Updated

School has definitely changed a lot since some of us were children. In kindergarten, I remember painting, playing house, building with blocks, having a snack, having a nap, learning my ABC's and 123's, and then going home before lunch. That was it.

In my daughter's K class, she learned not only the 7 continents but about 50 countries and their cultures...and that was just for history. She learned to read, add and subtract, etc etc...

She's now in 2nd grade math and starting to multiply and divide, and can add and subtract 4 digit numbers in her head. Crazy, right?

But I don't think it's necessarily bad to push them...the ones that have that potential...because our country is really, really falling behind. Even those who aren't up to advanced learning still need to be ahead of where we were at, playing games in K. It's just a more competitive world these days.

You want your child to succeed, and I really do recommend having her repeat K if she's not on course with her peers. To fall behind and stay there will only make her continue to fall farther behind. I educate by mastery...meaning, you don't move on to the next thing until you've mastered this last. This ensures that key elements aren't missing to cause failure later down the line.

Don't be afraid to hold her back. I believe studies show that children who are held back at an early age than those who are allowed to continue on without mastering the knowledge they need. It's not that children who succeed do worse...it's those in between, really, that can slip through the cracks. Someone who does just well enough to pass isn't likely to continue to succeed.

Do what's best for her, even if it means holding her back. It's really the long run that counts, even if it seems a little harsh at the moment. I wish you well!

I wouldn't hesitate to hold her back if you think it will help and her teacher agrees. They're so young I don't think they'll feel down about repeating at this age- it's all how you present it. Also, I think it's worse on their confidence to be the lowest in the class, as it sounds she might be if you advance her to 1st. However, if it's a retention of info issue I'm not sure that won't still be an issue even if you retain her. You might want to request testing by your school to see if they (school psychologist, special ed. specialist) can find some sort of memory issue. By the way, they are required to test her, I believe, or at least look into it, if you put a request in writing. And then they may be able to provide her extra, focused support during school to help her catch up to her peers.

My son did not have to repeat kindergarten, but he did go into it when he was 6 because of his birthday. Noone knows the difference!

As a specialist with kids and a mother of 5, I have a few questions/statments:
1) Is the cutoff Sept 1 and when is her bday? If she is young, hold her
2) I think it is always better to be the oldest in the class, so hold her
3) If you are confident, she will be confident about the decision and be fine with it
4) Don't worry about what others think. It happens a lot!
5) Most importantly, I would have her tested by a pediatric neuropsychologist in town. They look at all of her skill areas and see if there are any learning disabilities/ weaker areas that you can help her with , even if you hold her back. If she has issues, she will still have them when you hold her back
Good luck!

My kids are not school age yet, so I can't speak as a parent deciding this decision. However, as a former elementary teacher, it is much better to do it at this young age than in the upper elementary grades. I had a student in third grade that was actually quite bright, but he was nearly a year younger than the other kids. It was his social and maturity development that hindered him over academic skill. He was a sweet kid, but he was just so darn squirmy and had a much shorter attention span than the others, that he just floundered the entire year. The school had urged his parents to hold him back in previous years, but they never did. It is too bad because I would bet he would have excelled exponentially socially and academically, had he repeated one of the earlier grades. Good luck with your decision, It is a lot to consider!
HTH,
A.

We held our son back in kindergarten and it was a great decision. He was immature as he was the youngest in his class. We also held our daughter back in third grade. Best decision as well. However, we should have held her back earlier. Between the two, kindergarten was much easier.

Holding our son back was not that traumatic on him I'm not sure he even noticed! Our daughter did amazing! She was in the Naitonal Honor Society and graduated in the top of her class! Our son's grades were an issue because he didn't want to do the homework but he graduated with a 3.0 so he did okay!

Has the teacher expressed concerns about her retention? Eczema is an allergic reaction to something. Perhps her memory issues are related to this allergic reaction as well. Have you had her tested to see what her allergy could be? A lot of times doctors will treat the symptoms and not the cause.

Sometimes a year can make all the difference in the world. Sometimes a year makes no difference whatsoever. Well the FIRST year will always be easier, after all it's the SAME level of work as LAST year. But then often times the following year they're right back to the same learning style.

The only way to tell for sure is to try it.

I would thoroughly discuss your thoughts with her teacher. Work together to come up with the best plan for her.

Enjoy her!

:)

If she is having trouble retaining things, is is possible that she may have some form of a learning disability? My son had a big discrepancy between what he knew and what he could convey, especially in reading/writing while he could verbally ace the tests. I was told that discrepancy is a learning disability so it is not always obvious and it took me until 6th grade to convince the school (and we changed districts).

It is worth checking into. You could get her on an IEP and they can get her the extra help she needs.

Better now than later. I have a niece who repeated Kindergarten who is now a successful college grad. Kids in Kindergarten don't know how school works, so if you accept her repeating, she will. I don't personally think Kindergarten should require a kid to be "pushed to the max" if they are ready for K.

I would talk with your doctor before weaning off medication for eczema. Unless this is a recognized side effect of that med, dealing with severe eczema is not going to make school easier for your daughter.

Sorry she is having a hard time. My son is also in Kindergarten and I've wondered the same thing. I truly feel they are pushing the kids too hard too soon. I often think that if they keep this up he will be burned out by the time he is in 3rd grade! That being said, if she truly has a hard time the extra year could only help. Has her teacher said something to you about possible retention? If not, she is probably doing fine. She may not be an "A" student but as long as she has a working knowledge she should be fine and pass. You may also want to try a different school if it bothers you this much. Each school is different. I looked up the standards for Kindergarten in my state and a lot of what they are doing isn't even in the K curriculum map! Do you think she would do better in a Montessori school? I toured one and loved it and they had kids at kinds of levels some doing work well pass their age others, on level and still others requiring extra help. I couldn't afford it, but maybe you could. Also they have pushed back the age requirement in my state so more kids are starting @ 6. I just wanted to respond b/c I'm experiencing the same thing. Good Luck.

I haven't gone through it with a kindergardner but I did hold my 3rd grader back and it was THE best decision ever!! Her confidence shot through the roof and went from getting d's & c's to a's & b's. The earlier you do it, the best I was told.

If the teacher/school is saying that she needs to be held back in Kindergarten then there must be a reason to do so. Now would be the perfect time. They haven't formed strong friendships and most of her classmates won't remember that she was held back.

We ended up holding our son back in 5th grade, yes I said 5th grade. It was a VERY tough decision to make. The teacher told us at the first conference in the fall that he wasn't emotional or academical ready to be there but he could stay and we would see how he was doing later in the school year. He went thru much testing with the guidance counselor and his advice was not to hold him back. We decided to go with the teachers advice because she saw the child everyday and I felt she knew him better than someone who only saw him for maybe 10-15 hrs during the whole school year.

The outcome.......It was a rough year his second time thru 5th grade, but we requested that he have the same teacher and she helped him. All during his Middle School and High School years he made the Honor Roll almost every semester and in College he graduated with Honors with a double major in Math and Physics. I'd say not bad for a kid who's elementary records show that "he's a very nice little boy who is always going to be a slow learner" (that's what his 1st grade teacher wrote in his permanent record)

So my advice is do it now so you don't have to do it when she's older. Also you can stop pushing her to keep up.

JMO

My brother did 2 years of K. He missed a lot of school due to some eye operations and he had an August birthday so my parents decided it would be in his best interest. It worked out very well for him. He was never as strong academically as me and my sister, but he became a leader in his class. The only thing that was uncomfortable for him was in high my sister ended up in his classes because they were only one grade apart and she was in some advanced classes.

But only hold her back if you and the teachers feel that an additional year of growth and maturity is what will make the difference. If she has learning disabilities, repeating K is not going to help that much unless the learning disabilities are identified and she receives the school support she needs. Meet with the teacher this winter to discus his/her observations and come up with some strategies for the remainder of the year. Then evaluate the success of that in May/June when you need make a decision.

Have you talked with her teacher about your concerns? If the teacher is concerned and is seeing the same things I would not hesitate to have her repeat kindergarten. Kids entering kindergarten and first grade are coming from so many different backgrounds that most of the time they are just trying to get kids in roughly the same learning mode. At this age having to repeat kindergarten won't be a big deal and may even boost her self-esteem and make school more exciting and less frustrating. Schedule a conference with the teacher and the school counselor and address your concerns. Discuss the curicculum and decided together what course of action you need to take. Also have you discussed the medication concerns with her doctor? It may have nothing to do with the medications.

My children haven't but this year in my sons class one of the boys is a repeat. Actually he's very proud of it. The teacher first tipped the kids off by asking him if he remembered this or that from last year. Naturally my child came home and told me he suspected the boy was repeating 3rd grade. Anyways he's always very proud to tell what he remembers. Not to mention no one treats him badly. For that matter my son thinks he's awesome and now counts him as one of his best friends.

If your child needs it. Well I'd do it. School is such a small period of our life but it's a huge building block and you want her to have the best possible shot at life. I'd consult her doctor first though. See what her Pediatrician has to say about it.