Pooping in Underwear

Something that worked for me (you might think it is silly) was to show my child how to poop on the potty by using one of his stuffed animals. I had the stuffed animal sit on the potty and had previously filled a small syringe with about 1/2 teaspoon of chocolate pudding, which I squirted into the potty after hiding it behind the stuffed animals back. I clapped for the stuffed animal and made a really big deal of it...really worked for me.

My daughter was the same way. She way pee-pee trained in 2 days but for poop, she had issues. She tended towards constipation since infancy, so I had to be very careful. What she would do was ask for a diaper, poop, and ask to be changed. She struggled mentally with it. She would ask me to do things like cut a hole in the diaper and then sit on the potty, but that was not right for her either. One day, after doing this routine for A SOLID YEAR, she just pooped on the potty. Then she never asked for a diaper again. Let her work it out. Just ask her to not poop in the panties anymore - let her use a diaper!

Has she ever pooped in the potty? If not, she's probably just not ready. It took our son a good few months from being pee-trained to being potty trained.

I disagree with people who say she should clean her own underwear. Not only is this shaming, it's a health hazard.

Have you tried letting her poop in a pull up? What are her signals for pooping? It's entirely possible that she really doesn't know that she has to poop. Talk with her about the signals. Is it the same time every day?

Work with her, not against her, you'll both be so much happier! :)

Hi L.,

Pretty name you have!

Anyway, whatever you do PLEASE don't make her clean out her panties. This is shaming and unkind, also very unhealthy. Have you tried putting her on the potty every hour or so? This works sometime. The sensation to poop might be coming on strong and she might be unable to hold it. Whatever th e reason may be, try giving her the oportunity with your help, it just might do the trick. Otherwise give her a little break and put her back into pull-ups/diapers. To do so isn't the end of the world and she will once again come out of them. I had to do this with my middle son. It will also take the focuss off her needing to use the potty, therefore relieve some stress for both of you!

Take care!

Hi L.,

Does she ever complain about her tummy? My daughter would mess her underware and she said she could help it. I would tell her not to wait so long she would say that she doesn't it just comes out. Then we found out she was lactose intolerant which does a number on your tummy. Just a thought. Good luck:)

A.

my 3 year old son was doing that too for the first 2 months. what helps is the book "everybody poops". i got it, and it's very cute and funny, and after reading it a lot, i'd tell him the little boy in the book "holds" his poop until he gets to the potty. slowly my sons started getting it. but he still has accidents sometimes, but at least he poops in the potty most of the time now. don't stress over it. i know it's so gross and we have to clean it up and stuff, but even my son's pre-school teacher says it's normal and it takes some kids a long time to learn how to poop in the potty. just don't make her feel bad, cuz she already feels bad.

hello L., well when my son was that age i got him the singing potty training. whenever he poo or pee it sings and he would do it all the time just to hear it sing. their not ready to poo in the big toilet so let her have a girly toilet. or there were times when i have to use the restroom he goes to his and do it too. its weird having your child watching you pee or poo but that way she would feel comfortable if you was there. take her to the restroom every hour or two. im sure her bladder would be full. its normal. everything well go smoothly than.

She might enjoy the attention, if she's discovered that the quickest and easiest way to grab everybody's attention is to have dirty pants. (If she were afraid of the toilet, she wouldn't wet in it, either.) She might enjoy doing something "wrong" that she won't be punished for.

Even with my most reluctant child, the method of "practicing" from the book, "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" worked. After an "accident," have her hurry from the scene of the accident to the toilet, pull down her pants, sit on the toilet, then stand up, pull up the pants, go back to the scene of the accident and practice again, ideally several times in a row and hurrying faster each time. If possible, leave her in the dirty underwear while she does this, since they'll be uncomfortable and harder to handle, so it will be a relief when she gets clean ones on. The idea is to get her to learn to run to the bathroom when she has to go, (instead of stalling or hiding), and to make the job of practicing much more time consuming and frustrating than doing it right. I had one child who was forever trying to "wait, so I can go later," which of course meant an accident, and this method (eventually; she's very stubborn) worked even for her.

Good luck!

it's unclear if she had pooping in her under wedar for 4 months, or it is a new thing.

my son is now 5, but, he did the same thing. It was annoying, but, he eventually stopped.

if it is a new thing, i'd mention it to the pediatrician-sometimes poop issues can be a sign of something more serious. it could be a fear of the toilet, control-who knows.

good luck-because poopy panties are no fun.

Hi L.,
Two small bits of advice: Try to monitor the timing. Is this happening at about the same time every day? (Like after lunch, or after breakfast, something like that.) If so, then I would take her to the bathroom every 20 minutes for about two hours surrounding that time. You will need to re-train her. Also, although this is hard, and I'm going through a lot of this with my 4.5 yr. old daughter who seems to be having (at least) pp, and sometimes, poopoo accidents on a daily basis (poopoo maybe once/week), when she's been trained for about a year now, do your best to keep as positive as you can. Make a big, sincere, deal about her doing ANYTHING in the potty on her own. As best you can, try not to show disappointment in her when she has an accident. Make light of it, let her know it's okay and you'll just clean it up, get a fresh pair of underwear, etc. Let her know, daily, that you know she's going to be able to poop in the potty very soon as she's growing and learning so much. Whatever you do, just stay positive. Although, for the most part, she probably doesn't have as much control as you think she does over this, she is getting attention for it (even if it's negative). Turning your attention to all positive things she is doing will help. Also, sometimes this can be a power piece. There is so little that kids have power over in their lives that, sometimes, they will find anything they can control, and do so. However, even with this, the answer is not to assume they can control it, but, rather, give them power when you can in other situations. Even empower her with the potty.
Okay, that wasn't so short, but, hopefully, it will help. If you have any further questions, let me know. I know of some good resource websites, too. =0) Sometimes they've provided helpful info. Mostly, just know that it may take some time. Oh, also, have their been any changes in your lives that may affect this in any way? You'd be surprised how children react to things, even inadvertently. If there have been job changes, added stressors, etc., any of these can, and usually do, have an affect. This is the case in our family (husband lost his job and, although I run a preschool, it's a VERY full time job, and I also run a business, so....).
Good luck! =0)
L.

I agree with another poster that she may be having some digestive problems. It could be something she is eating, or could just be stress related- maybe either something she is going through, or household stress that she is picking up on. My daughter started having poop accidents when she was 6, after the birth of baby sister. When I asked her why she was having accidents, she told me "I can't help it, it just comes out." So I believe that the stress was getting to her, and affecting her digestion because her poop was loose and runny. (This happens in adults too- think of Irritable Bowel Syndrome). So what I started doing was something I learned in school (I am an acupuncture student). I did "chafing" on her low back. Basically, you rub the low back (over her clothes) until you generate some warmth in the area, and make sure you rub down by her tailbone area too. But stay in one area until it's warm, then move to another area. What this does is bring warmth and energy to the area, which helps with bowel control. This is also just a really good thing to do for kids in general, as it warms the kidneys, which in Chinese Medicine, are in charge of growth and development. After doing this every night with my daughter for about a week, the accidents stopped. Of course, she was older, and we also talked about her stress issues,etc, which also played a part in resolving the issue.

Good luck

My daughter did the same thing till she was about 4, I just told her she had to wear her underwear anyway, we didn't give her the pull up way out. She eventually grew out of it. Sometimes they just aren't ready.

Hi L., I had the same problem with some of my children as well. I talked to them about where they should be pooping and about why they should not do this in their underware. I also let them know that if they chose to poop in their underware, they would be resposible for washing them out. I watched them wash out the underware each time and made sure they scrubbed their hands after wards. They did not like the smell or feel of this chore and soon decided to go to the toilet.

Hi L.,

What does your daughter's poop look like? Is it solid and formed, or soft and mushy? I had the same situation going with my son until about 6 months ago and what I didn't realize was that his soft musy poop was actually a signal that his digestive track was not healthy, possibly from all those antibiotics he had taken when he was younger or as a result of eating foods that he could not properly digest. Pulling out the offending foods from his diet (wheat and dairy), giving him high doses of probiotics and an essential fatty acids supplement daily really helped to heal his gut.

If this is not your daughter's problem, here's a strategy that I read on-line that I thought sounded pretty clever: This poster told her child that the child's poop was fish food and everytime the child pooped on the potty, the poop goes out to the ocean and feeds Nemo (I guess this child was really into Finding Nemo).

Anyway, wishing you the best of luck in achieving full potty success.

My oldest son did this until he was 8! Usually he would forget to go or would not want to stop playing. I disagree about making him clean it up. Once I had my son do that he stopped for a few months. I didn't yell at him or shame him in any way, it was just like toys around the house. "You made the mess now it's only fair that you clean it up." I also kept a little notebook in the bathroom to write down all the days he had clean pants and which ones were dirty. After so many clean days he would earn a prize. That worked for a while too. Then I took him to a therapist. I figured 8 was too old to have this problem. She found out that in Pre-K when he was three, he clogged the little kiddie toilet and it overflowed all over the place. I never knew! Since then he CANNOT go in public places. And, like my husband, he is a bit of a germaphobe. So he holds it in until he just can't anymore. Once we figured out his issues we can talk about them and they went away (except for the germaphobe part). We would have him sit for 5 minutes in the morning before school and then 5 minutes after school. Eventually his schedule became every morning and he is happy! He does have some Dodger-Dog sized poops that clog our toilets about once a week, though. What can I say, he has a healthy colon!

My son wasn't pooping in the toilet despite knowing when he'd have to go. Drove me INSANE. I tried giving rewards (plan A) until he got bored of that, disciplining/scolding (not effective), rewards (plan B), going back to pull ups (for my sanity)... then I figured out what really worked for my son:

I realized he was scared of pooping in the toilet. So for 3 minutes (once or twice a day), I would sit next to him (to ease any fears) while he sat on the toilet with a book. No pressure. He would say, "It's not working," and I would tell him, "That's OK, we're just practicing. But one day you WILL go poo in the toilet and when you do, you'll make Mommy VERY PROUD!"

2-3 days after that, he announced he had to poo... I sat him on the toilet, gave him a book, asked if he wanted me to stay or leave him alone... and he went! All our family praised him and gave him lots of hugs and attention. Then despite it being close to bedtime, we celebrated by going to the store and buying him a toy car.

I think kids like their parents to be proud of them; that's why they always say, "Look at me!" In the ending of my potty-training ordeal, encouragement and anticipated praise worked the best for my son & me. Hope it works for you too.

PS- I also threw in other Mamasource tips like "PooPoo is food for toilets. Toilet is hungry." [--desperate times, desperate measures :) ]

Was she pooping in the potty for the 4-months? If so what is different now? Where is the closet located that she is going to do her pooping? Is it in your room or her sisters?Does she poop at the same time everyday? If so put her on the potty & don't let her get off until she does it in the potty. Have her rinse out her underwear.Sorry seams to be an easy word for children to use to not get punished for things they are doing that they shouldn't be. Treat the pooping in her pants like you did when you were potty training her taking her every few minutes. Tell her it not ok! to say sorry & then keep doing it.

Sounds exactly like what we went through. My 5 year-old was potty-trained when he was 2 years old and 8 or 9 months, and for about 6 months after that he continued to poop in his underwear, though he hardly ever had a pee accident.

He was fully aware when it happened and felt ashamed about it. We just talked to him nicely but sternly about it but didn't do anything active about it. It was frustrating, but he stopped doing it on his own. I'd say give it a couple more months, and in the meantime, stock up on cheap underwear.

I know I'm not the only one that has mentioned this because I read it below but it works.

Make her clean up the mess, make her clean out the panties at the potty, if she refuses make her hold them and you hold her hand and swish them around until the pooh falls out. I always sat their and watched them clean it out then made sure they washed their hands realy good. But she knows better and she will continue to have accidents especially if you are nice about it. Tell her that she is to big that you don't like to clean pooh out of panties and if she can't be big then she will have to clean them out. Her gaging as she does it is great, you want her to understand how gross it is. They usually figure out that it's just easier to pooh in the potty after 2 or 3 times cleaning it themselves. And don't say ok I'll do it for you because they hate the smell or think it's gross. You are done. This is now her problem. Try it, like I said it only takes 2 or 3 times and they do it on the potty. Then make a big deal about how glad you are that they did it on the potty. Good Luck. Don't praise her or give the ok to things she does wrong, this is misleading. Life isn't all sweet and good, teach her that you can be mad but still love her know matter what, teach her to deal with upsets so that when she is out in the world she won't take everything so personal. Making life all happy isn't what the world is and you need to teach them how to deal with upsets or mad people too. I'm sure your mother yelled at you and you turned out ok. Right! Good Luck with this. J.

First, ask her why she won't poop in the potty. There may be a reason, My younger son told me, "because it would splash". A little potty seat on the floor, or tha "hat" that you use when trying to collect a poop specimin would solve that one.If she can't/won't tell you a reason, you could try the "really big prize", something she really wants, that you get only after a week of pooping in the potty (ie, no poop in underwear). Emphasize staying "clean and dry" rather than not having "accidents". Good luck.

Hi L.,
Maybe try a behavior chart where she gets a sticker for each day she poops in the potty. After 10 stickers she gets a present or treat. That helped me after my son had been potty trained for several months and he started peeing in his pants. We did it for about 3 months, then just left the chart up. He got over it pretty quickly and have only had a couple of accidents since then.

Hope this helps.

well what I did with my son was I made him take off his underwear when he pooped and put the poop in the toilet himself. Then we waved bye bye to the poop when it was time to flush and he loved it! It took about 2-3 days before he caught on but no accidents now. Good luck!!!

She may not be able to get there in time. My son would be so entertained with playing that he wouldn't pay attention. He never wet his pants, but poop was a constant. I'm not sure if he didn't know when to go, or just ignored it because he was busy. I finally started taking him into the bathroom every 2 hours or so to see if he had to poop. Eventually he figured it out on his own and it didn't take very long. Good luck.

L. : )

I understand your frustration! I had a son who did that for what seemed like forever! I am wondering if she is doing this for attention? What would happen if you put her into pullups or a diaper for a few days, and totally gave her NO attention at all while changing that poopy diaper? My other wonder is that she has had something happen, and needs the extra attention the poopy diaper gives her. It may be a control issue, she may feel that she has lost control of something in her life, and this is one thing she can control.

Good luck, hope it works out for you.

I had a very similar situation with my daughter. She potty trained very early and easily, but refused to go #2 on the potty. I tried everything, with no success, just a lot of messy panties and tons of frustration. Finally I just asked her to please tell me when she had to go and I would put a diaper on her. So she started saying "I need a diaper" and I would put one on her, she would go and then I would change her back into her panties. My friends thought I was crazy, but it worked for us. After a few weeks (I can't really remember how long) she just started going in the potty without even telling me first. I think a lot of it had to do with the stress level. Once I stopped getting frustrated and just started putting a diaper on her it was no longer a stressful situation for her. Each time I put the diaper on her I would talk about how big girls go #2 in the potty and how she would be a big girl when she did this... I did this all in a nice tone without yelling, just as if we were talking about what we were going to do that afternoon, I think the first time she went she did it on accident and then realized it wasnt a big deal. Of coarse when she did it I made a huge deal. My only other recommendation is if she does have a messy accident to throw the panties away. Accidents were much less frustrating when I wasnt washing out panties.