Picky, Sensitive Eater

I'm wondering if there's a payback or what ever term Dr. Phil uses. Being the younger kid of many sibs maybe he sees this as a way to gain attention, being any kind. if this were true then perhaps the consequence to this behavior would be no more food for that meal time. Plus and this is very important, don't get angry at all and give next to no emotional response. Just promply clean up, say to him there's no more food for him for that meal. Maybe even move him and highchair to another area so as to not "feed" that kind of behavior. the next meal can be a new start and maybe this will fade out....Good luck
A.

dont be a short order cook..(have you heard that one yet) kids will eat when they are hungry... you have the power to feed him anything dont worry that he chooses not to eat it for a while but dont provide back ups..in other words dont cave in out of convienence Mommy...also discuss this sensitive gag reflux with the doctor..give him a demo of what is going on right in his office..if there truely is a medical problem the doctor will address it right then and there...Nanny L.

I've heard that when kids dislike foods it could be because they are allergic to those foods. Maybe he has food allergies?

I have no idea what the barfing is all about.
ew.
I don't have a barfer.
But I do have two totally picky eaters.
I am at my wits end with them as well.
Sorry I don't have any advice right now.
Am going to the dr. will ask her today if she has time...
Have you talked to your childs dr about it??
It sounds like a control thing to me, but not positive about it.

I have a son who is a failure to thrive infant survivor, so I know about the hardships of getting a child to eat. Unfortunatly there is nothing that can be done other than to keep trying. I am sure that your boy will grow out of it. My son is now 6 years old and in the 2nd grade and I do not have as much problems as I did when he was an infant. Hang in there you will get through this, it will just take time. The list of things that your son will eat is fairly good so don't worry about him not getting the nutrients because the nutrients are there. Keep trying new foods so that he won't burn himself out on the foods that you listed. This may sound bad but try letting him experience (play) with his food, that might help. If all else ask your doctor. Well, God bless and good luck.

Sarah, you are describing (other than the approved foods) my son, who just turned 2 to a T. My son was diagnosed by an occupational therapist with Sensory Processing Disorder (also called Sensory Integration Dysfunction) and it was also combined with severe reflux that he never outgrew. My son threw up almost every time he ate, just as you described, emptying his stomach. I got SO tired of cleaning up puke! He was finally put on medicine for his reflux, and is working with an OT on the sensory stuff, and doing much better, but he is still a very picky eater. (His approved foods are mac n cheese, yogurt, peas, grapes, cheese, milk, and occasionally green beans, broccoli, and ham.) he also will not eat any candy other than Smarties (they are similar to his reflux med) and will not eat anything dry or crunchy. he cried like I was feeding him broken glass the one time I tried to give him a Goldfish cracker!

Does your son have other sensory type issues as well? Like hating loud noises, tags in clothing, touching other textures...? You may want to read "The Out of Sync Child" and "Sensational Kids" both books explain SPD, and help parents learn how to help. You may also want to have him evaluated by an OT. If he has other issues you may qualify for services through Early Intervention (my son is developmentally delayed in multiple areas, so he's been receiving services for the last year.)

If you want to chat more about it, I've learned a ton about the subject, and might have a few pointers of things we've done that have helped. Good luck!

S. H,

Maybe your little one is telling you something - he may have trouble digestinging some of the food you are giving him. Candy, high in corn syrup might be a little hard for him to digest. Our kids were 3 before we gave them store candy.

Each of our girls were picky eaters til we figured out that one couldn't do milk, another wheat. And, they all survived being picky eaters. One of our friends' daughter went a couple of months on cheese, Ritz crackers and applesauce. She's now tall, gorgeous and bakes all the time.

Look at what your son likes to eat. Those are the early food groups we are supposed to start with - applesauce, bananas, mac-n-cheese and pbj. See if you can get him to add the orange veggies - carrots and yam. Then don't push it. When his stomach settles down, he will be adding food on his own.

If you push him about eating, it then becomes a game to him. He will see it as a way to get "Mom's attention" and being #6, he will have to try hard to do it. And you don't want him to create being sick to get your attention.

A.

Maybe it is sensory? I would talk to your doctor and see what he/she thinks.

Have you had your child evaluated to see if he has hypersensitivity issues? My 2 1/2 year old is fussy with meats and other textured foods. He can find the smallest peice of meat in his mouth when I try to hide it in other foods! He also spits it out sometimes and had thrown up once or twice. (He's learning to live with it in order to get desert after dinner!) My son will wear his coat zipped up, hood on, with gloves and sunglasses for a few days around growth spurts (apparently these hypersensitivities are more pronounced when they're growing). Anyway, I had a physical therapist evaluate him and she gave me some suggestions on how to deal with it. There's also books that can help too.

Mostly, it helped knowing that he wasn't just being a pain in the ole rump-a-saurus, he is just hypersensitive.

Good Luck!

Hi S.,

Although my baby is now 21 I recall the difficulty in getting the little bugger to eat anything. He particularily drove me crazy when the day before something was great but the day after it didn't have the right texture "quote/unquote" LOL.

I stopped driving myself and him crazy when my pediatrician told me to let him eat whatever he wanted. She didn't mean junk but as in the case of your little man, he's getting his 4 food groups with his limited menu.

I also found with mine that making a "platter" of finger foods helped. Cheese in squares, a few grapes or apple cut into bite sized pieces, carrots, deli ham sliced really thin, chicken fingers, mini ritz crackers, cherrios, etc. Another favorite was using English Muffins to make a mini pizza. Give him a selection of things to put on it and let him build it himself and watch it bake. The more choices I gave him in small quantitites the more he felt in charge and he seemed to like the ability to use his fingers for everything rather than a utensil. The Jello pudding off to the side if he tried everything on his plate also helped. It just wasn't worth getting stressed out at every meal.

There's another definition beyond "picky" and it is "resistant." Your little one is probably not a picky eater, but a resistant eater who would benefit from professional help. I have 4 kids, and my youngest started speech therapy several months ago, and I asked the Speech Langualge Patholgist about his eating habits (which were like my other older kids) and she gave me one of her professional books called Just Take A Bite. It describes the difference between picky and resistant... resistant eaters will eat only a few items, throw up when other things are offered, etc. Maybe you can find an SLP in your area and get a screening and some ideas specific for your little one. My baby benefited tremendously, and will eat things his siblings won't or can't! :-) Good luck.
Amy

My first thoughts were that this could be due to food allergies or an intolerance to something.

I completely understand the picky eater. I have an eleven year old son that sounds a lot like your son. I have come to realise with my son that he has extra sensative smell and taste. He also has a over sensative gag reflex so, good luck at the dentist or getting him checked for strep. I always warn the doctors and nurses. Sometimes they don't believe me. Ha Ha on them when he proves me right! My only advise is to just keep offering different items. My son has improved with age even though he is still my most picky one. I believe it is inherited being as my own father is very much the same. Good luck and just except his differences just as you do in your children's personalities.

Mine doesn't actually throw up quite as easily as yours, but has always been (and still is) as picky about eating as yours. She doesn't eat meat of any kind, if we do try to make her eat it, she'll gag and throw up. She even gagged and threw up over mashed potatoes. She won't eat pudding, yogurt, meat, or anything that doesn't look good to her. She would do that at your son's age, and still does now. Sometimes she would rather go to bed at 6:00 than eat her dinner. And she stays there all night!

I have a couple of ideas on this one:

If you think he's old enough to understand, try a sticker chart. This worked well with my daughter, but she was older. Each time she finished her dinner (which was the meal we had trouble with) she got to choose an animal sticker (animals were her favorite thing). As soon as she filled the whole chart with stickers, she got to go to the store and pick a prize/toy. She knew from the beginning and was reminded each dinnertime that she was working towards getting stickers and a prize.

Another thing is giving him a choice. Pick two things you really want him to eat, but you know that he doesn't want to eat or doesn't like, and let him choose one. Tell him he can have #1 or #2, and say "which one?" If he doesn't want either one, you can tell him that those are his choices, and that if he eats one all gone, he can have his regular food that he likes, whatever that is. At least that way he's getting a little of what you want him to, but he's still getting what he wants as well.

You could also let him help you make something. I have twin boys that are 19 months old right now. My husband had them "help" him make dinner the other night (waffles). Of course they really watched more than actually helped. But they thought it was really cool to be able to stand up on a chair and be doing what papa was doing.

All of those things have really helped me. My picky little girl still won't eat meat, but I figure that will come with time, and I try to supplement her protein with things she does like (milk, cheese, peanut butter, etc.).

Hope this helps. I'll be watching the answers to your post to see if there are any more ideas that can help my picky eater/vomiter. Good luck!

S., I'm sorry to hear about your picky eater. I have a friend who had similar issues as you, and her pediatrician ended up recommending working with an Occupational Therapist... Yeah, I thought that was kind of weird, but her 18 month old would only take a bottle and no food... it turns out she had some sort of oversensitivity to the kind of stimulus from certain textures and appearances of food, I don't remember the clinical name for that, but I thought I'd point it out to you. Maybe your pediatrician and an OT, could help your son. My kids are poor eaters too :( so I feel with you. I hope you can find a solution.

S.,

I had the same problem with one of my twins. He gagged at just about anything. He gagged just touching his 1st birthday cake and almost threw up. He gagged on infant Motrin! One day when he was a little over two (and I was totally over it) I told him to knock it off and surprisingly he did!!

I'm not saying that this is what is up with your son but it truly was an attention getting tactic for mine. He was always very demanding of my attention; my daughter was very independent and content playing by herself so he got the bulk of my time. Seems like my girl should have been the picky eater!

BTW, he's still a very picky eater (soon to be 5) but he's not gagging and barfing at everything.

Best of luck to you!
E.

Just wondering have you had him checked by a Doctor to see if there is a medical condition causing the abnormal gagging and eating? There are some medical conditions that can cause these symptoms - they are not very common, but they do exist ( even reflux, tongue tied or allergies could be the problem). Sometimes it is the texture or consistency of the food too. My daughter had a hard time eating anything she had to bite like a sandwich or apple, come to find out it was because she had a misaligned jaw and physically could not take bites. After 3 retainers (starting at age 3) to realign the jaw and teeth she now has a perfect smile and a perfect appetite!

6 kids, bless your heart! My nephew did this and it worked like a charm (with my sister). I on the other hand was not so nice. I would clean him up, offer the food again and tell him "this is what we are having, if you don't want it that is fine. But there is nothing else until our next meal." I would not let him have anything but water until that next meal. Yes there was LOTS of whining and fits, but he eventully figured it out. They won't starve themselves but eventually figure out they better eat something. Like I said my sister would give in and let him eat what ever....so at 8 she is still dealing with this. I have kicked him out of a restaurant when he did this at the table over something on MY plate when he was 6. He sat in the car (just outside our window) until he was ready to come eat "the right way". He doesn't come to spend much time with me....I discipline, she deosn't.

My kids are picky but we have the "no thank you bite" at our house. They have to take at least one bite of everything on their plate and then say no thank you. If they eat a reasonable amount they get a treat before bed, if not... no treat. They are getting good at regulating themselves. "How bad do I want my treat?" I always try to have something on their plate that they love, but the other stuff might be questionable. Their school has the same rule at lunch... love it! At 7 and 4 my girls are learning they love some of the "new" foods and are more willing to try other stuff.

My sister-inlaw was a nanny for a family with a child with a similar issue. The young boy would throw up food consistently at every meal. But his mother would send him away from the table every time he threw up. It was a power play, the boy didn't want to eat so he learned that throwing up got him down from the table. He did this to my sister in-law when she was caring for him too. But after a few times of this behavior she was fed up. One morning the boy threw up, she told him that he could not get down from the table but in fact said, "oh good I am glad that your stomach is now empty that means you can finish the rest of your food," he then ate the rest of his food. This scenario happened a few more times, but she did not relent and he had no other excuse, and eventually the boy corrected the eating problem on his own.

This is just one experience it may help, every child is different though, and some more stubborn than others.
Good luck

There is a common homeopathic theory out there that peoples (including children) bodies know if there is an allergy or what nutrients are needed in the body naturally. Perhaps he has some allergies or a lot of yeast that cause him to be sick with certain foods. Maybe just go with his preferences for a while (cutting out anything like candy and dessert) so that he isn't craving sugar and he will start to try other things. We've put this into practice with ourselves and 4 kids and I really think there is some truth to it. I empathize with you and good luck!

My sister has a picky eater, too, though her little girl does not vomit. She does have a sensitivity issue. She is very aware of how things feel. She would live naked if she could and also may not like a food because of the texture. Also, she had enormous tonsils! The doctor recommended they be removed when she was 2 yr. old but my sister was unsure. Now in retrospect, with such large tonsils, she can see that her little girl was actually afraid of new foods because she was unsure if it would get caught in her throat. The tonsils have been removed and my niece is working with a learning therapist to work on her sensitivity issues. This has also helped her academically. Just passing on info that might help stike a chord in helping your child.

Definitely check with a doctor. Maybe reflux? Our baby gagged and threw up from that, but usually after eating the food. And not after candy. :) Maybe a swallow study or feeding evaluation would be helpful. We have great doctors (all in Denver, though) if you're interested. Our doctors are used to working with out of state patients and you would only need to be here a week or two. I'd be willing to help with the other kids if you decide to go that route. We love our doctors and would love to help you in any way we can. (I'd offer housing, but we're currently staying where I can refer since we're in town for a few months of testing. I might be able to help out in that area, too, if I had enough warning.) GL

I have never heard of them puking. Have you talked to your Dr about it? If it isn't anything medical, I would say just offer him whatever anyone is eating, if he chooses not to eat it, make it clear he can help clean up the puke if he pukes and then just let that be it. He will not starve, if he is starting picky eating now it will only get way worse if you don't nip it in the bud. He obviously has mastered gagging to the point of puking. The candy thing is quite puzzling! I would definitely talk to your dr and make sure there isn't anything medical going on. Him doing this can cause harm to his teeth, esophagus and stomach, puking is hard on the body.

My 18-month is super picky as well so I feel your pain. He's the only one of my four boys that seems to think food is his enemy. Anything with texture gets intentionally spit out or he gags and throws up. I’ve resorted to pureeing EVERYTHING. I'm paranoid he isn’t getting enough nutrients so for breakfast, he gets whole grain infant cereal with some Pediasure and for dinner brown rice infant cereal with Pediasure as well. One bottle of Pediasure is equivalent to a full days serving of vitamins. I have to mix it in the cereal because he also doesn’t drink much. I also give him one dropper of the Poly-vi-sol vitamins every night. For lunch we try to experiment with other foods and will puree anything from meats with veggies or fruit. He does love mashed potatoes. That way if he throws up, it's during the day and I know he's already had at least a full meal at breakfast. The reason we don't do it at night is because we have found that he doesn't sleep well if he throws up before bed, obviously because he will have emptied his stomach. At his 18-month check up, we were told it could be reflux, but that it could also be that his tonsils are too big. He recommended that we monitor him while he's in a deep sleep to see if he is snoring loudly and if so, his tonsils would be the culprit for his gag reflexes. Good luck and I hope some of my experience helps.

I say just keep going with the applesauce, mac-n-cheese, bananas, p-b-j's and cheese, which is almost identical to my 4-yr-old's, also-a-picky-eater's diet, add cereal, grapes, apples and oranges. Your son is getting a lot of fiber, protein and dairy, and if you're concerned about fruit and veges, talk to his ped about adding a vitamin supplement. My guy hasn't always been so picky, and I figure he'll eventually grow out of it. I figure making a big deal about it will just make him dig in his heals, as he is also very stuborn.

Me: Mom with daughter, 7, and son, 4; stepdaughter, 21, and stepson, 19.

After having my first son who can eat anything...and I mean anything, including caviar and escargot, to my youngest son that is exactly like yours...subsists on mac and cheese, pizza, noodles, rice and a little meat....it is extremely frustrating, for sure! My uber picky eater is now 8 and a tiny bean pole. I was chatting my a friend who has a daughter exactly the same symptoms, BUT, she had her tested for some type of "sensory sensitivity" thing. These kids don't like the way something feels, looks, smells, tastes, acts, theyn they are having no part of it. There are some types of desensitizing therapies to do with them to help but you will need to seek help for it. Try your ped first and bring this up. More and more kids are being born with this odd thing as well as food allergioes...so who knows what we are doing to our environment.

Dear Sarah,
It might help to know that some people are extremely sensitive to textures (thus the puking after just touching something he doesn't like). Such accute sensitivity is a symptom of sensory integration disorder/disfunction. It is a central nervous system problem where your body and mind have a difficult time processing the information they receive via the senses. If I were you I would read about Sensory Integration and see if he has any of the other issues. If anything, knowing that it could be an actual physical problem stemming from his central nervous system might give you a boost in patience as you deal with him. (By the way I just read your profile and I am a singer too. I have a Master's in voice and I'm a sahm too.)

I'm sure that is frustrating to say the least. My 9 yr old stepson can barf on command and has many times- when he eats too much or coughs too hard or is upset with me. It is very trying. For what it's worth, it sounds like your son has a healthy diet despite the pickiness and vomiting. It may be a good idea to stick to what he will not throw up atleast for now. Hopefully this is just a phase! Hang in there. :)

Are you sure you haven't kidnapped my son? He's 22 months old and just wants cheese, applesauce, bananas, and mac n' cheese. And any other kind of fruit. He also likes rice, and thankfully he likes refried beans (sometimes he'll even eat the tortilla I wrap it in, but usually just sucks out the burrito filling). He won't even eat PB&J's very well, but I think i decided he doesn't like the bread, because he peels his grilled cheese sandwiches apart and licks out the cheese :~
I'm actually glad to hear that we're not the only ones who are dealing with this. My first son didn't have this problem.
But we don't have the vomiting factor. Have you asked his doctor about that part?

Keep feeding him what he does like, it is rather well rounded. But also keep offering the new foods. I have really bad gag reflexes and so does my youngest DD, honey and liver are really bad ones for me, all I have to do is smell them and I loose everything I ate and drank that day. You are describing me as a child, my mom couldn't feed me any meat, if she managed to get it into my mouth I would gag and choke and yes throw it up! My Dr told me it is a sensory thing, I also can not handle the way cotton feels, clothes are ok so long as they aren't wet. My mom said she just kept offering it, and my pre-school would work with me on touch and sensation. I can say I am not as bad, there are still textures that I don't like and can't move past, but over all I have become much more open to new things. Patience is key and understanding that it isn't his fault, this is something beyond his control.

Of course I am in somewhat of the same boat with my 3 year old, not as bad, she can't wear a shirt if it sits any higher then 3 inches from her neck. And certain foods and textures make her gag, and like your son, she only eats cheese, mac'n'cheese, bananas and cheese samdwiches, she isn't big on applesauce or yogurt though. Good luck.

I don't have terrific advice, but I do have sympathy. My children throw up if they get too much in their mouths. My oldest used to throw up based on texture. The neighbor kid throws up if something looks "too messy" or doesn't "look good." I've learned that's normal---for them. Terrible for me.

My daughter did live on air and chocolate milk for what seemed like months. Luckily she learned to like noodles and creamy peanut butter. She has gotten much better, but she describes all "new" food as "spicy."

Good luck! They say it takes a child 5+ times to get used to and like new food. Hopefully, that's true at your house, too.

Hi S.,
I know you've already updated your request but I thought I'd share my opinion anyway. I agree with some of the others who have responded. I am 36 & a very picky eater. I can eat the same few foods every single day & not get tired of them. I still remember being in 3rd grade & the lunch helper at school wouldn't let me leave until I tried the peas (something I hated). Right there in the middle of the cafeteria I threw up all over. She never asked me to do that again!

The sensory thing is tricky. I actually have a request on here about it because I suspect it with my child. And after researching it a bit more, I think I've got it myself. I don't know if the picky eater part is related but I'll have to look into that too.

I don't really have advice but thought I'd let you know that I've never outgrown those problems, I've just adjusted to them the best way I can. Good luck to you!
T.