"How Did Your Picky Eater Turn Out...??"

Updated on July 05, 2011
R.B. asks from Aliquippa, PA
28 answers

Hello mommies!! I knew I should have just asked y'inz this a long time ago instead of frustrating myself even more... Bare with me for a minute....
So I just got off the phone with my son's pediatrician and now I'm furious!!! I called them to ask if my picky eater (he's going to be five in September) should be taking some kind of children's vitamin to make sure he's not deficient in iron, for example. Right now, he will only eat 4 "big boy" foods. Apples, toast, yogurt, and cheese. (Of course he will eat pizza, but that's just served every once in a while, because he would eat it everyday if we let him. And who can afford to order out pizza everyday!!!) He just recently told us he was "tired of" granola bars, so we are down to 4 things. He had tried, and liked a lot more things when he was about 1 or so... but doesn't like and won't try them anymore. We have tried introducing new foods, some of the same foods over again, with no luck. He gags, and sometimes throws up a little, when he tries things. We saw the Doc about that too, and they said he has a "hypersensitive gag reflex". He gets REALLY upset, as if he HATES us for making him try things... you would think we gave him dog food, or a raw onion, or something!!! Getting back to what the doctor said... Basically the same thing people have been telling me for the past 4 years... (which I refuse to do) is to make him something, put it in front of him, and if he doesn't eat it, he goes without until the next meal time. And serve him the same thing from the first time, until he eats it. I don't believe in "forcing" kids to eat something they don't like. They say, "He won't starve himself", or "He will get hungry enough and will eventually eat". EVENTUALLY?!?! I am tired of hearing this from people who have not observed what we have over the past four years. He WILL starve himself.... if i didn't "time" his "meals", and make him take time out from playing, etc. he would go probably all day until he decided he was hungry. Very frustrated at this point, and don't know what else to do... He's healthy as far as they are concerned. Gaining and maintain weight....
So here's my "question"... All advice is welcome, but I really need to hear from mommies who had picky eaters, and hear your "before" and "after" stories. I'm hoping there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow...so to speak!! Yes, I am an overprotective mom, because my mom was with me... but I'm trying my best to make sure I am not traumatizing my child by "starving" him, and/or forcing him to eat! Thanks to all in advance! Greatly appreciated!!!

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I worried about my very picky and skinny eater when he was young. I tried a lot of things and fed him small meals all day long. When he get older (6 years) I just made him the same meal I made us for dinner. I usually put something I know he will eat (apples, strawberries or carrots) as part of the meal and then whatever else I made. I now have a child that eats chicken, fish, pasta, steak, some vegetables and usually will at least try what I put in front of him. I don't want kids to go hungry, but I have found that they are not as picky when they are hungry and have not snacked all day. I don't give in to him not wanting pasta or chicken. He eats it if he is hungry and often likes it.
I went from being a short order cook to cooking only one meal for all of us. This took awhile and I had to learn to be firm. He never went hungry, but he wasn't happy about some of the choices. His snack choices are generally only a healthy choice - fruit, granola bars or almonds. If he is really hungry he will eat it.
Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have a super-picky 3 year old. He's gagged and thrown up many times when we try to get him to eat something not on his short list of things he likes. Since he's 3, he may have responded easier than your 5 year old will, but a few months ago I did what your pedi is saying once a day. I made sure I fed him two meals of what I knew he would eat each day, but one meal a day(usually dinner) I fixed one meal for the family (something most children would like - not liver, brussel sprouts or anything like that) and told him that's what we were having for dinner and there would be nothing else until he ate 3 big bites of the meal - without crying (that's when he'd gag and throw up). If he did that, I would give him something else that he likes, but if he didn't eat 3 bites, he didn't eat again until morning. It took awhile, but I read that studies show kids need to eat at least 3 bites of a meal 5-6 times to get used to it. It really did work for us! He's not the most adventursome eater still, but he eats many more things than he used to and will always eat 3 bites of something. Mealtime is so much more peaceful at our home and I can't remember the last time he made himself throw up. Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well, it can go either way. My dad is a picky eater: meat, carb and green salad was served almost every night of my childhood because he didn't like any vegetables. He was that way throughout HIS childhood and has only slightly improved as an adult. As a child, I didn't like any veggies, either. Dad didn't have to eat them, so I wasn't going to either, plus they were yucky. But as I got older, I started trying more stuff and now as an adult, there are still a few things I WON'T eat (peppers, raw onions come to mind), but there are waaaaay more things I WILL eat. So your son *might* grow out of it, or he might not.

One thing I was determined not to do when I had my own kids was to make separate meals for them just because they didn't like what I served. And I have to say, I've been lucky because, from day one, my kids understood that "here's dinner - take it or leave it". Now they're 13, 10 and 8 and they "take it" almost every time. Sure, they went hungry a few days, skipped a few meals, but they're still here, alive and healthy and eating a wide variety of foods. Once in a while, I'll serve something they *truly* don't like. But they're only allowed to make that determination once they've actually tried it (one small bite will do). They're not allowed to merely look at something and decide they won't eat it. They HAVE to at least try it. If they still don't like it, that's fine, they can have a butter sandwich for dinner (I STILL won't cook them something else) and I'll put that meal on the list of stuff not to make anymore.

I see a lot of my friends (and my sister with my niece) making several meals a night because their son *only* eats chicken nuggets and their daughter *only* eats grilled cheese, and they're afraid their kids will "starve", etc. It's a pain in the butt for mom and a total disservice for the kids. I don't think kids are going to wake up one morning and say "mom, I'd love some yogurt with berries for breakfast, grilled chicken on salad for lunch and salmon with quinoa for dinner". WE need to make those kinds of things, serve it to the kids and keep at it until our kids learn to at least give stuff a chance. Giving in and letting them be picky eaters will *most likely* result in a lifelong picky eater. Or you could get lucky and have a kid like me who does end up liking veggies. It's a gamble, for sure, but there's a higher chance of winning if you keep exposing him to different kids of foods. Good luck with this - it can be a challenge ! (^_^)

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S.K.

answers from Denver on

my son is 6 and dinner is still a battle. He thinks he can survive off of macaroni and grilled cheese (oh and steak too but who can afford steak every night) we started giving him ovaltine in the morning just to make sure there was al ittle something in his morning milk and now he acts like its his coffee. First thing is may i have my cocoa (we warm it up). we do vitamins as well. he is healthy, smart and very active. I was a very picky eater and still am.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have a niece who is a picky eater. And a self declared vegetarian (who doesn't eat vegetables). So that pretty much leaves cookies, candy, french fries, creamy peanut butter, white bread and some fruit. She is 10 now, it has gotten progressively worse, not better. Her parents just listen to their pediatrician who apparently thinks that as long as she takes a vitamin it will all turn out ok.

I would schedule an appointment with a pediatric nutrition program. And honestly (I just went to a lecture from a pediatric nutritionist) what they do is encourage kids to try food - over and over and over. The average number of times a child needs to try a new food before they will consistently eat it is 12.

It will be fine if your child goes 'all day' before he decides to eat something from a plateful of healthy options. No one starves to death in a day. Or two days. Or three days. And I don't think you would be forcing him to eat things he doesn't like. You would be encouraging him to determine whether he likes a particular food. After all he can't truly dislike something he hasn't tried.

The current scientific research shows that many of our LIFE LONG patterns of eating and our receptivity to trying new things are established in toddler hood. So what they eat now IS really important.

I have been lucky. DS (5) has always loved food. We encouraged this by always feeding him what we were eating (single ingredients pureed from whatever we were cooking that night for baby food). We eat meals together as a family and we all eat the same thing.

Have you tried just sitting down for meals, putting the same items (small amounts) you are eating on his plate and then just not discussing it? Talk about school, work, whatever. At the end of the meal, if he has not eaten, clear the plates. Same thing for the next meal - whatever you and DH are eating. No pressure but no other foods.

The reason you keep hearing he will not starve himself is that it is true. There are no picky children in the famine stricken parts of the world. There are children who will eat whatever calories are provided in whatever form they come in.

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K.K.

answers from Portland on

I say don't worry about it. All my kids are picky! One day they like the food and the next day they wont touch it. I don't force my kids to eat, I constantly offer up snacks and such and they will eat it they are hungry. As long as my kids look and act healthy I don't worry. Whenever we have a new food on the table or a food that my son (he is 5 and a half) did not like last week. I try to get him to tongue taste it. I don't make him take a bite, I just ask him to touch the food on his tongue. If he likes it great, and if not we move on with dinner (we don't force the issue). If you are worried, give your son a good multi-vitamin. We just don't make a big deal about food in our household. Your son is willing to eat 4 foods that are good for him and he is probably getting everything his body needs from those foods right now.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Which is more traumatic to your 5 year old? Hypothetically being forced to eat (which you refuse to do) or not giving him a balanced healthy diet? The fact that you fear he "needs" supplements because he isn't getting nutrients makes it a no brainer. You talk about forcing food as if it's meaner than not feeding a good diet.

We "forced" our 3 picky eaters to eat stuff, and they all went through phases where it was hard and they gagged or they skipped meals etc. And now they all get enough nutrition and eat well. Sometimes they skip meals. So what? Better than NEVER eating.

So my before is: They were picky, we made them eat or skipped that meal. My after is: they all eat. It was much more important to me that they are healthy than upsetting them. You're choosing to avoid conflict rather than be sure he's healthy. That's your choice. 5 years old is pretty old to skimp on the nutrients. Definitely do the hiding some raw broccoli and veggies in his yogurt smoothies, it's a great way to trick them into drinking a salad.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had two picky eaters. When my wife and I put something in front of them we expected them to eat it. At first we didn't want to force them to eat it, but then we spoke to another mom and she suggested he eat what we eat. If he didn't eat it, then he got it for the next meal.

We played the "gag game". But when they found out mom and dad would not give in then the "gag game" stopped. The gag game is like throwing a temper tantrum. If you let them get away with it you'll have a 16 year old throwing temper tantrums to get their way.

I have a DIL that won't make her son eat anything he doesn't want to. He now only eats french fries and chicken nuggets. And he MUST have a coke. No water or milk. But the DIL knows everything worth knowing about child care and won't let facts influence her or change her mind.

I had a co-worker that was an excellent employee (management). Really smart and good at what he did. But he was so picky about what he would eat, everyone hated to go out for dinner meetings if he was included. He was passed over for promotion at least once because he was so inflexible. We worked long hours and it wasn't uncommon for us to have dinner meetings to brainstorm new ideas.

Good luck to you and yours.

P.S. Both my picky eaters now eat a wide variety of foods. They have favorites, but they will eat what is available.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

They're 5, 3, & 17 months and all three are still picky eaters dam***!

I just keep putting all kinds of food in front of them so they have constant exposure and hope that they will stop being reluctant to try new things.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

It's really normal for kids to go through the picky eater stage. Much more normal than not. Here's what we do:

I cook a few things for meal time. A main course, salad (toppings on the side), and a veggie or rice or couscous or something. That gives options. I rarely do desserts. I do not base my meal cooking off of my child's picky eating. If all the kids hate it, I'm definitely not going to make it, but if others like it, except for one, we make it.

When it comes to eating the food, almost all of them will eat rice, so if they don't like the meal, they have rice to eat. They sometimes like the salad, but often they like the toppings more (like tomatoes and olives), so I'll let them eat those.

If they refuse to eat the main meal, I require only one bite so that I know they've tasted it. I've had my kids refuse to even taste it, but upon insisting on ONE bite, they then realize they like it and eat the whole thing. So, that's why I insist on one bite.

If they won't eat the main meal - FINE. No arguing. No power struggle. They don't have to eat it. They can eat any of the other food that they want that is on the table.

But I also don't get them anything else special. Either they eat the food there (whatever they want to pick through) or they don't eat. And I don't do it in a mean way. I don't get mad at them. They can't help it if they don't like the food. I toss their food if they don't eat it. I don't make them eat it later. I wouldn't want to be forced to eat something I don't like, and no way am I going to force them. It's also not worth my stress to try to force it. It only causes more and more power struggles - so not worth it!

Even if they eat nothing, I will not give them any other food, other than the options at the table (and only offer this during dinner time), until bedtime. About 30 minutes before bed, I offer a snack. This snack is part of their nighttime routine. They are offered it whether they eat dinner or not. I keep it pretty basic. It's almost always a banana or a peanut butter/jelly sandwich. I don't give options beyond that (our kids like these snacks, so I suggest picking two things you know your son likes and offering it as a snack before bed).

I refuse to starve my kids before bed. I want to make sure their belly is comfortable before they climb into bed all night. But I also am not going to be their servant and fix whatever their whim is. Besides not thinking it's healthy to do that, I simply don't have the time with four kids to do that with each! That is why I offer two choices that I know they can and will eat. If they refuse both of them because they want something else (even though I know they typically like this food), then they can choose to go to bed without eating. I know I've offered something they are capable of eating and liking, so I don't feel guilty if they make the choice to not eat it. I won't offer something I know they don't like. But it's the same two things every night. They know at snack time that they have these two options.

I agree with most of what you are saying about your feelings about food. The only thing is, if you do try the snacks at night, you know it's a power struggle if he's refusing something you know that he likes and is demanding something you are not offering. I would suggest NOT giving in to him. That is enabling that type of behavior. Don't be mean or get upset. Just be factual and tell him that "These are your two options. You need to choose one now because you're going to bed in a few minutes. If you don't want to eat, then that's fine. But these are your two choices" Then he can deal with the consequences of not choosing one of those, if that is what he chooses. It's an important thing to learn - consequences to choices. As a parent it can be easy to give in and just give him whatever he's asking for, but it's a good lesson to learn that sometimes our options are limited. (then again, when i only had one, i think i didn't offer choices for her nighttime snack, I jsut said "what snack would you like?" and let her choose whatever. With having four little ones, I cannot and will not make several different snacks. They all like bananas and pb&j -or sunbutter - sandwiches, so I limit it!).

Hope that helps!

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I have an 18yr old that has always been a picky eater. I never made her eat onions or tomatoes or anything she didnt want. I encouraged, but didn't push. It was just me and her, so, I didn't cook things she wouldn't like. My taste evolved over time. I assumed hers would too. Well, she's 18 now, and still doesn't eat onions or tomatoes and is still limited in what she will eat. The upside is, she is a great cook and takes interest in learning to cook all the things she loves. And she is good at menu planning and making up her own recipies. I wish I had been a little more insistant that she try new things. But, honestly, she has a healthy realtionship with food. She knows what she likes and she eats a good enough variety, that she hits all the bases nutritionally. The only time it's ever been a problem, was when she is at someone elses house. She can't pretend to like something. SHe never liked anyone elses moms food, and heaven help her step mom! I'm afraid she probably hurt a few peoples feelings along the way, despite my trying to teach her to be respectful of peoples feelings.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

I was very picky when I was a kid - not to the point that you describe, but still pretty bad. My food couldn't touch either. It stayed that way until about 22. Then my tastes started changing and I like a lot of stuff now. And I'm usually willing to try anything, as long as it's not too far out there.

As far as forcing food - I wouldn't eat hamburgers (especially my mother's). I guess her mother told her to make me eat and have me sit there until I did. 6 hours after dinner was served, my mother shoved it down my throat bite by bite. I didn't eat a hamburger for 20 years after that.

If my mother continually served me the same food that I had disliked as a child, meal after meal (say pork....I still don't eat that), I wouldn't have caved. Instead I would have waited until I had a play date and chowed down or snuck other food out of the pantry.

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A friend had a son who actually went to a pediatric occupational therapist, because he had trouble eating some foods, and had texture issues. If you google 'feeding therapy', you'll get links to describe it. Your son might be helped by this type of therapy.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

It is hard, isn't it? And so many people judge you as a parent when you have a really picky eater. I love ALL kinds of foods and was never picky. I started off feeding our son all different kinds of foods, whatever we were eating I'd puree for him or give him tiny bites. He got all different ethnic foods, all different veggies, etc. We did notice that certain foods he would gag on and would not eat. I realized it was a texture thing. But then at about age 2 or 2.5 he suddenly became extremely picky. He only liked 3 fruits and 2-3 veggies. He only wanted certain foods. I decided I wanted mealtimes to be a positive experience and we make sure to serve something healthy with a fruit and a veggie each time. At dinner I make sure there are a couple foods he likes if I know I am serving something he will balk at. I don't cook him his own meals but I will leave out plan chicken for him if I am making something I know he will not eat (like a curry or a casserole). We encourage him each time to just try one bite. Someone said to keep introducing the same food over and over and to first encourage them to smell it, then touch it, then touch it with their tongue, then take one bite, etc. Over time it will become more familiar. We still are working on this. The good news is now he is 7 and he is starting to try foods in earnest. He now wants to like more foods. A couple times we have offered him a reward (like picking a fun thing to do) if he can find two new foods he likes by the end of the month. We talk to him how taste buds change and one day he will like those foods he does not like (boy I hope this is true!). I have had 2 good friends tell me they were exactly like our son when they were little and it drove their parents nuts bc they only would eat certain foods. They both said around high school they finally started liking a lot more foods and started being more adventurous in their eating. One friend told me the foods she could not eat were truly repulsive to her. To her they were not edible at ALL. It is nice to note that she eats pretty normally now that she is in her 30s!

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

My picky eater is now 10 years old. I truly thought she would "out grow" being picky sooner rather than later. She eats plenty of foods, just not a lot of healthy ones! I worry constantly about her health...our big issues fruits and veggies...she has got a Teensy bit better on fruit but veggies are still a major road block. She will now eat Apple slices with peanut butter and she will eat diced peaches and she will eat bananas. Veggies...none, and if we make her take a bite we usually get it back ( vomit) yuck. I know part of it is all in her head, and I know lots of moms have opinions....I am doing the best I can and that is all you can do. You have to decide for yourself how to handle it. There are real issues out there that are sensory related.
I am very fortunate, I am not a picky eater myself and I have two sons that eat almost everything under the sun.
And I wish every person who said they won't starve would be locked in a room with the one food they absolutely detest...some children are more stubborn than others. With holding food seems cruel and unusual to me...my daughter would and still would to this day rather go 24 hours without eating rather than eat something she hates.

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter will be 5 in August. She is very sensitive to foods texture and a picky eater but we are expanding on the foods she will eat. I tried that "what I make is what you get, nothing else" and my daughter went FOUR DAYS without eating, just drank her milk, water, juice. She was cranky, moody and hungry. So what I decided to do is use those kids drinks that supplement for food not getting, but only at the end of the meal. For the meal I always offered one thing that I knew my daughter would eat and then put the other things on her plate. I pretty much ignored her during the meals, that way make a big scene about the food was not an issue.

At a recent kids event they had a "Food Passport" where they had different foods for the kids to try and if they took a bite or two or more they got a stamp in their passport next to that foods name. This has REALLY helped my daughter at least take a bite or two of "new" foods. We went to a store, had her pick out a notebook with her favorite character (Hello Kitty) on it, some cool stamps or stickers. I divided the notebook into groups (grains, dairy, meat, fruit, veggies, drinks, desserts), about 10=20 pages each. When she tired something new I write it under the correct section and she would get to stamp or put a sticker by the food then we would talk about if she liked it a little, a lot or not at all. Sometimes she likes it more then before and she gets to put another stamp by it. I will pull it out when she says she does not like something but the previous time she said it was good or ok.

We still have a limited diet... main things she likes:
Hard Salami sandwich
Grilled Cheese
Pizza (super easy, quick and healthy if you make at home!)
Chicken (if she remembers that she actaully likes it)
Pork (if she remembers that she actaully likes it)
Fries (baked)
Rice
Cereal (sometimes she has it for breakfast and lunch, healthy stuff)
Apples
Watermelon
Strawberries
Corn (if she remembers she likes it)
Peas (if she remembers she likes it)

We still have a long ways to go, but every few months it seems she likes something new and will add it to her "like" group.

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L.S.

answers from San Diego on

My picky eater (a commonly used term but in our case its called food aversion). When my son was around 3 1/2 he started to refuse foods that he used to eat and his diet by 4 was down to about 5 things. I checked with my pedi who said the same thing but I knew in my heart that something was not right. With prodding to our pediatrician we got a referral to have him evaluated at our local children's hospital "Feeding Team" unit. The evaluation itself was conducted by a team (psychologist, G&I doctor, occupational therpaist and a speech pathologist) all at the same time. They observed us through a two way window having a "picnic" with our son. Then each of them came in one by one and spoke to us and to our son and interacted with him with various foods and eating. They then concluded that he had a food aversion problem due to sensory issues. They suggested we go through their feeding team therapy which we did. This therapy consisted of a two prong strategy. They would take a group of same age kids with various eating issues and do a fun eating class with them for an hour in another room. Each week new foods/drinks were introduced. The first part of the class the parents were in a side room with they psychologist that covered various topics in relation to eating and the home environment. It was soooo useful to me and how I approach my son on his eating. The last part of the class we then observed our children through a two way window with psychologist as they were eating and given the new foods. I saw many successes and how the therapists made eating fun. We took the six week feeding therapy twice and it has made a difference. Our son who is now six has made progress and we still work with him daily but it is getting better. If you choose to do so you could have him evaluated at your local children's hospital. Most hospitals have feeding teams if not find a childs occupational therapist that deals with feeding issues in your area. I also suggest a great book called "Food Chaining". It is a method that I use, but the idea is that you build on the foods that your son already eats now (i.e. smells, textures, taste etc.) to chain to other foods. It also talks about situations very similar to your story and the possible reasons your son may have to having feeding issues. I think what is most important to determine is whether it is "picky eating" versus a real feeding issue. Your give away to me was the fact that he gags. Also to answer your question regarding "traumatizing your child" for some children it can traumatize them and your reaction to the situation can as well. Keep as calm as possible when introducing new foods and make it fun and crazy. Make the experience fun. I wish you luck. I know its very hard as a mother to go through this.

M.M.

answers from San Diego on

Here's a great book for you "Just take a Bite" http://www.amazon.com/Just-Take-Bite-Effective-Challenges...

Your little one can have sensory issues, poor muscle tone/ undeveloped muscles in the mouth. This is a very good book that can help you.

My son is 4 years old and is picky eater. He likes crunchy food and really doesn't care for mushy foods. He's also very picky about eating meat. It's a challenge.

Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. My daughter has had issues with food texture since she started on solid food as a baby. She will gag and almost vomit with food textures she finds objectionable. We always have to bring food for her when we go anywhere because we can't count on her eating what's offered. It is exhausting and frustrating to have the daily struggles at every single mealtime. My daughter only eats about 10 things and those things haven't changed since she started table food. My daughter was recently diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder which is what causes her food texture intolerances. Most pediatricians do not understand or even recognize Sensory Processing Disorder- it is currently diagnosed and treated by Occupational Therapists. My daughter has been receiving OT for about 3 months now and we are starting to see baby steps in the right direction. It might be worth checking out and exploring getting an evaluation with an OT since the earlier treatment is started the better. Feel free to message me if you have any questions or would like any resources. Good luck! I know how frustrating the extreme picky eating can be.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

Mine haven't "turned out" yet.
But as for myself who ate very little as a child, I eat more varieties of food and more healthfully than just about anyone I know.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

i don't know what to say and if our situations are the same but my kids were very picky. age 1,2,3, and close to 4. there were only a handful of things they would eat. i gave into anything., whatever they wanted i made just to be refused as soon as served. i finally reached my end rope and decided i was calling the shots. i cook, i decide what to cook. it took a good few weeks but their choice of food was only what i served. mine are 6 now and eat awesome (not a lot of food but yes to a variety of food). they're skinny but healthy because there isn't any vegetable under the sun they won't eat. now if the question is do they like everything? no. but if they want to eat they will eat what has been cooked for everyone. so i say eventually you will have to decide if you will change your ways. he has to eat.

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N.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree on not forcing him. Here's some ideas--might he like gummy vitamins? They come in fun shapes. They certainly won't hurt him and you don't need to ask a doctor for permission. Does he like candy, chocolate, cookies, etc.? Those are food, too. They have eggs, flour, butter, in them--that's all good. Try to think about All the foods you can offer him to keep him full, not just the traditional ones.
About pizza--pizza everyday might work. We've been making Boboli pizzas lately and it's pretty cheap. Esp if he is the only one eating it, you could make one last several days and reheat
Honestly, the 4 foods you listed sounds like an ok diet to me. It kind of covers a nice range. I think the less attention you give to his food choices, the better. If he's growing, not sluggish, eyes bright?

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

One thing that really worked for us is to include something at each meal that they know and love. They may not try something this time but try it another time. Also, when people say they won't starve themselves, what I always thought they meant was that skipping a meal or not eating a full meal is not going to do them harm,, kids will eat when they are hungry and stop eating when they are full and at this age kids will eat half a pizza one day and two pieces of toast the next. You kind of just have to trust them to know when they are hungry.

It is seriously true that kids will not eat if they are not hungry. I could offer my kids chocolate (their absolute favorite food) and if they are full, they will say, "No thank you!" If your son is really hungry, he will eat something. If he doesn't want to eat, he really may not be hungry.

Actually, my husband and I just keep offering them different foods and try not to stress. If they eat it they eat it. If they don't they don't. We try to make sure meal time is fun and not stressful. I don't know exactly what meal time has been like at your house so I don't mean to criticize, but it sounds like it's been pretty stressful. My best advise would be to try and enjoy meal time and not worry about what he's eating. If he feels less pressure from you to eat, he will most likely give things a try. Sometimes food issues are more about control than they are about food.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son is so far (knock on wood) a wonderful eater. I, on the other hand, was a different story. When I was little, I probably could count the number of things I would eat on one hand. As I grew older, I s-l-o-w-l-y expanded my palette but it took a really long time. I'm currently 30 and it was only in the last few years that I really went "crazy" and tried things like sushi and hummus. lol. (love both of them now). I'm still somewhat of a picky eater, choosing to stick to foods that are safe and not too bizarre (i.e. 90% of the foods on cooking channels don't appeal to me b/c they look too foreign) but I eat a lot better now than I used to. Your son might not eat well for a long time so the key is to NOT make food an issue. The more you push things, the more he won't want to eat. Even with my son who's a great eater, if I try to push something onto him, he won't eat it whereas if I'm relaxed about it, he eats it all up. You do'nt want him to associate food with negativity so just keep offering him healthy foods and try to make each bite count by making them as nutritious as possible. good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I have a young cousin who does the same thing your son does. He would only eat a certain color food, or just ritz crackers for weeks and days on end. He would also have the same gag reaction when it came to eating certain foods. With eating very little I can tell you he is one healthy happy little boy. I believe my Aunt also had him drinking Pediasure to make sure he was getting all the right nutrients.
Here is something to look into. After years of him doing this she found out that his tonsils were too big. He had them out over Christmas break this year and he is slowly starting to eat different foods. He will be 6 this year. He still goes thru times he wont eat dinner or will only eat a cracker or 2 but he is a healthy boy. IMO I would do what you think is right and let him eat when he wants what he wants. People are right in saying that he wont starve himself but I never believed in forcing a child to eat what they dont like. I will do it though if its something I have made before and they are just refusing to eat it. Good luck and remember your his mom and mom always knows best.

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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

My now 25 year old was a picky eater, but I refused to cater to her. She would eat what was placed in front of her, or NOT eat until the next meal. And believe me, if she didn't want to eat it, she just wouldn't. She was extremely healthy though. I did resort to bribery like "no cookies unless you eat _________ amount of your meal" which sometiems worked and sometimes didn't. I always worried about her weight. She was skinny, skinny growing up. She had several teachers pull her aside and ask if she was bulemic or anorexic, which bugged her like crazy. My family is genetically very thin, but she has always looked almost sick. Now she is 5'6" and MIGHT weigh 100 pounds. Her doctor shrugs and says "you are an eat to live person". Now - she has a 2 year old son that SHE is constantly fighting with about eating. He could pretty much care less about eating... Sometimes I wonder if she and he are missing a hunger nerve or something....

I wanted to add that when she reached 16, and had her own job, I allowed her to go buy her own dinner with her own money if she didn't want what I made, or to go in the kitchen and make a substitute. Now - guess what? She is still a very picky eater. She has a pretty limited repertoire of foods she will eat.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm a picky eater and always have been. I was lucky that my mom never made a huge deal out of mealtimes. She cooked what she cooked and I either ate or I could have a sandwhich. But I had to make the sandwhich myself and clean up the mess. I like a total of 5 vegetables and maybe a dozen fruits. For me it's a texture thing. I just don't handle certain textures well.

But I've learned to work around my texture issues. For example ... I HATE onions so I use onion powder instead. I'm not a big fan of garlic chunks so I use granulated garlic instead. Still flavorful ... but no slimy onion, weird half slime half crunch garlic. And all the benefits of both. Anything thats slimy or mushy ... forget it ... it's not going in my mouth. And honestly I don't think I'm really missing out all that much on peas, lima beans (actually most beans except green beans) or guacamole.

Best part is ... I'm actually really healthy even though I'm fat LOL I know this because I broke my ankle in January and pre-surgery blood tests said so. All my numbers were in the good to excellent range :)

Keep offering a variety of foods, have at least one thing he'll actually eat at the dinner table, and then just let it go. He'll either outgrow the picky stage (all kids go through one) or he'll be a life long picky eater without eating disorders.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

** Read this article:
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Recipes/extremely-picky-e...
----------------------

My son, has been a picky eater since he started solids at 6 months old.
He is now 4.75 years old.
He has on his own, NATURALLY expanded his palate.
We do not, battle about foods, force it, reward or punish over eating.
My son, eats when hungry and stops when full.
He eats, per his body's cues. Which is the most healthy way.
He does NOT eat out of dysfunctional emotional eating, such as boredom or just to please someone or just to pig out.

He is healthy, grows like a weed, never starves, and has always been in the upper 97th percentiles for growth and is lean and strong.

My son is also a 'grazer.' Meaning he eats little amounts, until full, and throughout the day. Which is fine. My Husband is the same way.

I am not a short-order cook. I cook what I cook. My kids eat. There will always be something that I cook, that my son will eat.
My son also snacks. I only feed healthy food. Not junk.

When I was in elementary school, there was a mean Witch of a Teacher. She supervised the cafeteria as children ate. She FORCED the kids to eat everything, and if not they could not leave the cafeteria. She made kids CRY. She'd yell at them and slam the table.
I told my Dad. She did that to me too.
My Dad- invited her over for dinner one night. She came. My Mom cooked a wonderful meal. The Teacher ate, but not 'everything.' My Dad, then told her "You did not eat everything on your plate. You cannot leave this house, until you do so." She was aghast! My Dad told her that she intimidates and forces the kids to eat at school everyday. And how abusive that was. He told her off, and in no uncertain terms. He also put in a formal complaint to the school Principal. She was severely reprimanded. OTHER parents had complained too.... but nothing about it was done, until my Dad, reported her.

My son, the LESS we focus on his eating and picky-ness... the more variety he will eat.

all the best,
Susan

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