Hi Moms,
My stepson is now 16 will be 17 July 1. My husband is paying support out of his check for Jacob. Jacob has moved out of his mom's and has been living with my husband's mother since March 22. He had an outing with his stepfather and will not go home till his mom chooses him over her husband (not happening). My husband has called her to discuss what happened and Jacob did lie about most of it. They agreed that Jacob was wrong and it didn't seem to matter that Jacob was staying at grandma's until my husband mentioned she should give his mom something out of the support she gets from him to help keep Jacob. She immediately responded well I'll make Jacob come home tonite. Well she never made the kid go home nor did she ever give any money for his support. My husband called domestics and reported what was going on, and was told that was a no no you can't get support with him not living there. They sent him papers to fill out to have the support stopped and put a freeze on the account.He called and told her that the account was froze and that she had to go to domestics and sign off or call them.. His last check with domestics, they told him she had til Friday June 5 to respond or they would set up a conference. My question is this can't come back on my husband some way and he still needs to pay support. He has been working overtime because come August he will be laid off for 3 months.I suspecting this will happen and he will be told to pay more because of the overtime. In the meantime we are buying the kid summer clothes and shoes. Any ideas on how this may turn out ? It's not that we want to stop supporting Jacob. but the money is not going to the right person. Thanks H...
Seems to me if Jacob goes to live with his father (and you), there will be no question about the father supporting his son - and he won't have to pay support to anyone else.
Your husband is required to continue paying child support as currently ordered until a new order is issued. If he knows there's been a significant change in circumstance that is likely to impact support (ie this move is permanent, not just, the kid "visiting" grandma but has actually moved in... he has moved his stuff there, is going to school in her area etc) he should file to have childsupport reviewed.
A judge, not him (or you) will decide when and how support will change.
Also. He's going to keep paying support whether to the boys mom or to the grandma. So just keep paying. If the judge changes the order so that support goes somewhere else, the mom might ALSO be ordered to pay support... and may be ordered to pay back support for the months support was paid to her... but that's non of your husbands business, really... because HE will still be paying support.
HTH
I think you should keep paying child support. You don't know that Jacob's mom doesn't give her mom money for food/bills for keeping Jacob. Plus it makes Jacob feel like his dad does not want him. It makes Jacob feel bad...about himself and about his relationship with his dad. Plus, once he turns 18 it's not like he's self sufficient. He still is going to need help and support. Stop feeling bitter about the ex...just pay the support. Rise above it all.
Do we have an idea on how this will turn out? Uh, no. We have paid over 65k in court battles and you would NOT believe the crazy bat sh-- that happened to us. So no one can predict how this will turn out for you.
I guess common sense says that if it's 'on hold' to see what happens and it ends up reinstated, he will owe that money plus interest and will be behind. Just my opinion but if he is still under 18 then someone, if not the mom, would be getting the dads financial support until he is 18. But I don't know, and pretty sure no one else on here does either because the laws are different in each state. Good luck.
It would be better if you combined your threads so we can follow in one place.
The long and short is that if your DH wants things to change, then he needs to find out how he can legally do so and/or change the payments so that the people raising him are benefiting. This can't be the only case they've had of a grandparent raising a child. And/or the grands need to go to court to have the CS changed to them.
If he has paperwork showing he followed proper protocol to change the CS, this should not come back on him negatively.
I don't know what domestics is, but as long as there is a court order to pay support, he needs to comply. He can go to his attorney to request change in custody/visitation/support.
The simple version. Support is for the child's care. You can't just arbitrarily stop court ordered support any more than you can start court ordered support. Any changes in support from amount, to timing, to who gets it, etc. is done all through the court and documented through the court. So if he needs or wants a change based on circumstances then that too must go through the court.
I wouldn't have even told the mother of my intentions through the court either and left that up to the court. Best thing he can do is get custody of his son and have the issue of child support changed to her paying him support. The child is 17 and can choose which parent he wants to live with. As long as she has custody, your husband will be required to pay her support.
If he isn't paying her driectly the support he needs to put that designated money asside for when the court demands he pay the amount due to his son for his upkeep.
You have to take this up in court. No matter if things are "fair" or not, go back to court and explain the situation.
In all this mess...my heart goes out to Jacob. His parents broke up his family and moved on making new families. He fits in NOWHERE and now he is acting out. Poor kid...makes my heart ache for him.
Good luck!
If the money is being deducted from his paycheck, he cannot stop it. That means there is an order from the Court. Payroll will NOT stop a garnishment just because someone says to. It must come from the court.
Sounds like Jacob has issues that need to be dealt with as well. He can't continue to bounce around.
What is domestics? If you mean someone who reports to judge, the judge will sign a new order.
Really? Cause that's like 2 months.
If your husband called domestics, he should have been advised HOW to ask for redirection of support, right? They sent him forms AND he filled them out.
WHY did he call & tell her. The court surely advised her of that.
Is he trying to make trouble?
Let the process work!
I would think that until something is decided, your husband should still continue to pay the support (assuming he pays to "domestics" or as it's called here Div. of Child Support...they would have the money but not issue any payments while the account is closed). Once the matter is resolved, the money can be directed to grandmom if deemed necessary and your hubby isn't behind. If he pays directly to the mom, he should at the very least set that money aside to "catch up" if necessary. He should probably set aside some extra for when he's laid off.
