Pacifiers

When my son was using a pacifier and I was ready for him to stop, I switched to a completely different brand that was shaped differently and everything. He would suck on it for a little while and then since it was different, he would decide he didn't want it. It only took about a week for him to get rid of it.

Try attaching their passy to their bed and if they need it between naps and bedtime they have to go to their room and suck on it by their bed. Pretty soon they will get tired of spending all their time in their room and decide that their passy is not that important. This worked for my daughter and it might be worth a try.

Serelda

About me, I am a 54 year old mother of 4 and grandmother of 7.

Hello my name is C.. My husband is also deployed so i know the feeling. I have 4 children. I think this might be of some help. You know after a few days they wont ask for it anymore. So what i did was made it fun. We went around the house and would collect all of them in a basket. I told them that we had to collect them for all the new babys in the world. Once we collected them we would set them out that night and tell them that the passy fairy would pick them up and for helping out all the new babys. They would get a big girl or boy prize. They might ask for it the first day or so but after that you should be good. It worked for my children. Good luck.

Hi L.,
All children have a normal need to suck which calms and comforts them produces endorphins and normalizes brain function. Nature intended this to be from the breast. Since the average age for weaning in the world, is 3 years old, it is totally normal for your child to have a sucking need yet. Just put him/her to the breast (providing you are still breast feeding) whenever he or she needs comfort. The need for a pacifier when nature's pacifier, the breast, is available will not be needed. It is not harmful to nurse your child for comfort as long as he or she needs it. They will usually wean themselves when they are ready! Nature takes care of most things if we let it. Sincerely, B. S. R.N. C.C.M.

Don't worry, especially in this stressful time. My son LOVED his passy, really loved it. He used it at night. He loved it, and I was nervous about getting rid of it. A little after he turned 3 he took a nap at a friend's house who didn't know he had one and he slept fine. It was eye-opening to me. He could sleep without it! Then I just told him that the dentist said it would hurt his teeth - and that was that. All done. I could not believe it. I was so stressed about it, and it was not a big deal at all! He did ask for it, but it was not a big deal. I just reiterated that the dentist wanted him to stop. At his age, he understood this. My dentist was not worried about it at all, until after 3. I would talk to your dentist and pediatrician - and if there is no medical reason to get rid of it, don't. It is so calming to their little bodies - and calming for you.

A friend of mine had the "cork fairy" (cork was their word for the passy) come visit. Similar to the tooth fairy, but a more significant treasure. She had her son pick out a toy that he really wanted. She then explained that if he put all of his corks out on his bed, the cork fairy would come take them (I think she may have said that the fairy would take them to new babies) and leave him this favorite toy. He made the choice to participate and they never looked back. Once they were gone, they were out of the house and the mom didn't have control to give them back.
Another trick that I've heard is to cut a hole in the end and they don't get the good suction. My cousin's daughter wore a hole in hers, took it out of her mouth and threw it across the room and that was the end of the passy.
I never bought any that were bigger than a newborn size so that they wouldn't be as good of a fit for an older child. None of my three used them after a year.
Good luck.

My daughter, who is now 5, was hooked on her (NuNu)pacifer, I tried all kinds of ideas. When one day the monsters in the closet and under the bed started becoming an issue. Somehow I told her they were the NuNu monster and that is what they were after. If she gave them up they would go away and never be back. I know this does not sound like the smartest way but after a few hours of thinking about it. She gathered them all up but them on the night stand and slept with me that night. I threw them away and we have never seen either again.

just hide them like i did when my two boys were getting off the passy. just give them a sippy cup or fine some other way to get there mind off the passy and dont let them have it when they go to bed or take a nap. I hope that this helps.

Both my daughter and son had passy's, my son the most attached he would have it in his mouth all day. He turned two and I knew it had to go.. I took it, told him that big boys don't have passies and we throw it in the garbage. The next day my hubby decided to take a 8 hour trip to my sister in laws house longest drive of our lifes. But by day four he was not asking for it and going to sleep without it. It was hard and he cried at night and in the car but only for a few days..

Well first take a step back and take a deep breath.let it out then start thinking. Your dealing with Daddy being gone so, are your children.Now that you have your breathing undercontrol tkae a way the passy's get some sugar free suckers when they want there passy give them a sucker. takes a week to shake a habit.

Hey you can make them leave them for the easter bunny. I had a friend make her daughter leave hers for santa.

I wouldn't worry so much about the passies right now. When they get a little older, say 3 and 4, then if they haven't given them up, I would encourage it. Passies comfort little ones and the stress of the situation probably is making them anxious. Little ones feel tension of those around them. No condemnation or guilt. YOu have a lot to deal with. Give them lots of time and attention individually if possible and let them have their passies for a while. The more secure they become the less likely they'll need a passy. You can still encourage the two year old to give them up, but it'll be easier on you to let them have them and not worry so much about it. Get someone to help you,& give you a break from time to time. You need recharging. Or if there are other moms in like situation, join with them for some adult talk. You'll be much more able to deal with almost twins if you do. Hope this helps. God Bless you and your family and protect your husband while he serves our country,

B.

About me: I am a 64 year old grandma with 3 sons and 5 grandchildren.

L., when my son was very attached to his passy.an elder woman told me to take a pair of scissors and cut the passy. they can no longer suck on it,and it takes all the fun out of it ,because it's broken now. hope this works for you!!!!!
it was a life saver for me. good luck!!!

I would first like to say thanks for your sacrifice. You are strong to let him go serve and sacrifice so much for all of us. I too had that same problem with my oldest who is now 7. She loved her passy. At 3 I knew I had a problem. I tried a couple time to take it away and she would sream all night. One night my husband and I sat and talked and decided we would throw them in the trash and send them to the dump and not look back. She screamed for a week. The good news is that it got less and less each night. The first 2 nights were the worst. If she got up we wouldnt say anything just put her back in bed. By the 3rd night she only cried for about 3 hours and never got up. By the 5th night it was down to only 30 mins and by the end of the week we never heard about it again. Our 2nd child never took a passy thanks to GOD. Our 1yr old cries at night if it falls out and he cant find it. We are not looking forward to breaking him in a year or two. It's hard but hang in there. J.

Hi L.,
Well, I know what you are going through. My daughter is 3 and a 1/2 yrs and we just got her off the passy. We called it a Tootoo. We did the same thing you did and would only give it to her at bed time. We thought weening her off would work but with my daughter it only prolonged the process. We finally just took it away...We told her the Tootoo fairy came an took it to give to a little baby that needed it. We told her she was a big girl now, and that big girls dont use tootoo's. Now, I would like to tell you that it was just that easy----but I would be lying. My daughter cried every time she went to bed for about a week. I thought I was going to have a nervious breakdown. I almost gave in a time or two and gave it back. But, my hubby, and the rest of my family kept me strong. Its been over 3 months since we took it away, and my daughter is still mad at that Tootoo fairy. haha. Good Luck---stay strong----and God Bless you and your family.

I had trouble weaning my son when he was 2 as well. I checked with his pediatrician and he assured me that it was fine for him to have it. He told me that as long as my child needed his pacifier to soothe him... that he NEEDED it. Futhermore, he told me that if I took it away before he was ready that he would replace that habit with others... that may be possibly less acceptable... like chewing fingernails, putting his hands/fingers in his mouth, sucking on blankets/clothes etc. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to give it to them at bedtimes... that is what I am doing with my now 2 year old daughter. But if they are crying for it. I would give it to them. It won't hurt anything- teeth included- you can ask a dentist- and your babies will be able to soothe themselves in the car. They are going thru a hard enough time with their Daddy being gone and so are you. Give yourselves a break.

Not trying to discourage you, but I took my children's pacifiers away too early and they both found their thumbs. My oldest sucked hers till she was 11!! and my 2nd girl sucked her thumb till she started school at 7 years old. The sucking instinct is a normal stimulant for children and helps them to focus and can help with learning when they're young.

It sounds like the "passy" is a good soother for your sons while your husband is away. If they are taking it hard, I would not do anything with the weening for awhile. I have an 11 year old girl and 7 year old boy (with another on the way). My daughter loved her "binkies". I did not let her have her binkies except at nap and bedtime until after she turned 3. Once she was about 3 1/2, The Binkie Fairy came to see my daughter. She got to choose a toy that she wanted and the Binkie Fairy came and left it in place of the binkies. It worked? At least with pacifiers, there aren't as many problems with tooth development like thumb-sucking does. Usually once the binkies are gone, they are done with the fixation.

Good Luck!

My daughter gave hers up at 10 months on her own, so we didn't have to do anything special. However, I've heard of some people telling the kids that there's a pacifier fairy, enticing them to put all the pacifiers in a box, and leaving it for her....and she leaves a toy or something in their place. I've also heard of telling the kids that pacifiers are for little babies, and putting them all in a gift box to give to a little baby (obviously, you wouldn't really, but they wouldn't know that). My daughter's former babysitter simply cut off the nipple, so all it was was the plastic front...when they'd ask for the pacifier she'd hand it to the kid, but there was nothing left to suck on. Good luck!!

The only advice i can give you is to tell you what I did with my 2 1/2 year old daughter! She had taken a binky all her life and loved it very much, it wasnt a major problem as i saw it even though shes 2 ans supposed to be a big girl she was still a baby and needed comfort(thats what the binky is to kids a form of security) by the time she was about 18 months we would only give it to her at nap and bed time and she seemed fine with that unless she was having a bad day or she had gotten hurt or somehting she wouldnt ask for it during the say but then I guess something happened and she went from not having it during the day to constantly having it AND NEEDING LIKE 4 OR 5 WITH HER AT NIGHT! It was very frustrating trying to locate everysingle binky in the house for our daughter when it came time for bed this went on for a few months I suppose and then one night i literally couldnt find any of her binkys in the house anywhere so i put her in bed and shut the door she cried for a while and i looked frantically for them and When i finally found a couple she was already sleeping so I saw it as a blessing that the binkys got lost and I cut the sucker off of it and threw them ALL in the trash that way i wasnt tempted to give her one when she asked for it because we really didnt have any! She asked for one the first day and then forgot about it so my suggestion would be just to cut them up and throw them out.....TAKE THE TRASH OUT so you wont be tempted to give it back to them! However i will warn you that since taking binky away she has replaced it with about 10 stuffed animals in bed.....i guess to feel more secure at night!So be prepared for something to take its place like a security blanket or a stuffed animal or sometimes even a finger or two while they adjust! Good luck momma and keep ur ground! Oh and thank youfor being such a brave woman holding down the fort while hubby is away, i too am a military wife....my husband leaves for iraq next February!

L.,
I think if it were me and I was at home with a 2 and a 3 and my husband was off over seas fighting..... I would just let them have it. They are hurting and sad too and miss their daddy and this may be their way of soothing themselves. Now if you just MUST break them and that is what you really want, I would just take away their nap time passy then after about a week, take away another nap time ... till they are all gone. I know it is easier said than done.

I hope everything goes well for you. My husband was in the Marine Corp for six years in Desert Storm so I really feel for you. I will put you and yours in my prayers daily.

I used ice cream and yogurt to replace the "passy." Which is what my Mom said she did for me. Still a bedtime habit by the way. Anyway, if we would go to bed without, then we could have ice cream, after nap or before bed. I would suggest maybe a treat in the car, or maybe a movie if you have a personal dvd player. This might divert their attention from wanting the passy.

Hope this helps!

I completely understand how this time is very stressful to both you and your boys. I myself am a military spouse. However, you will have to go the extra mile and deal with some fits from them if you really want this to work. You said you let them sleep with their pacifiers. That's the first mistake. You need to remove them while sleeping. Not only is it bad for their teeth, but they are dependent upon it for rest. Start taking them out when they are dead sleep. Then work you way up to when they are just getting settled down. Secondly, you are going to have to hold your own against them when they are screaming at the top of their lungs for it. Eventually sleep will win out and they will slowly become less dependent upon it. I know as a mother it's very hard to ignore those shrills from our sacred little ones, but one must do what we have to for their benefit. Lastly, you could do what I did with my son and his bottle. He loved to try and flush things, he threw it in (so he thought) and closed the top and flushed. I said gone bye-bye threw out all the others and that was that. He cried for it a while but by the end of the week all was forgotten.

Wishing you all the best,
M. H.

Just take it away one morning, then throw it away. They won't cry but a couple of days then they'll forget all about them. I did that w/my 18 month old & it worked. Just remember the older they are...the harder it will be. Once they hit that age...it's more of a habit than a need. It's kind of like sleeping with a fav. stuffed animal. They just want it with them. I would change something with their bedtime routine...like the order in which you do things, then maybe add something to it. Getting their pacifier @ bedtime & naptime is part of a routine. Throw them away & break the routine. Plus, if they continue to use them...you may encounter some dental issues. It won't be as hard as you think. Good luck!!!

We are going through the same thing. I do have her only getting passy when she lays down for nap or night time. When she gets up, we have her leave it in her crib. With my other two children, I don't recall having as much problem with them getting rid of theirs. I recall my son taking my daughters away and tossing hers all the time. Eventually, I quit buying and they did fine without them. So, I may try the garbage again, and let her throw them in, and she knows what garbage is, so she will know it is going bye-bye. Let me know what happens. If mine works, I will repost. :-) Good Luck.

hi L., this isn't the best time to be taking the paci away from your little ones as their daddy is away it is too stressful and they need that feeling of comfort that it gives them. try to relax and not worry about it and if people say something to you about it just start crying and they will wish they hadn't, lol! this is a difficult time for all 3 of you so let them have whatever comfort they need right now even if you feel they are too old for it. try again when dad gets home. good luck and hang in there!

I say if you don't have a problem with them having it, give it to them! Now normally i would'nt have said this but going through what we go through everyday you have to learn to not sweat the small stuff. In the grand scheem of things them taking a passy is the small stuff, unless it is causes problems such as dental, etc. Don't worry about it so much. If anyone gives you a hard time about it, ask them where there husband is, does he come home everynight, do they get to talk to him everyday, is in the middle of a forgein country where everyday is undecided? That will get them off your back!! Don't worry about it, they don't have their daddy at least they have their "passy." truth be known that is probably 80% of why they "need" it so much right now, it is their way of soothing themselves. Children, especially children as young as yours do not have the coping skills that we do, so therefore they do what they know.
Hang in there, sounds like your doing fine. If you feel like giving it to them, don't feel bad about it!!
My name is B., I am 32 years old. My children are 10,7 and 6 months. I taught 3-5 year olds at Head Start for 4 years, my husband is deployed for the first time right now. We are having a tough time with the seperation right now as well.

OK this may sound crazy, but I have heard a lot of stories of how to rid children of their pacifiers..(Dropped them on the train and it was so yucky we had to throw them away was the best so far) Here is just a crazy thought. Since the kids love and miss Daddy so much, why don't you have the kids make special cards for daddy and ask them to send something they love to him (IE: their passy's) tell them daddy would love to get something from them and it has to be somethig really small so he can keep it with him all the time. Actually send them to daddy for Valentines day. Then take them to the store and let them pick one small toy that they can keep with them all of the time(a match box car .. or a tank or an aircraft (1.00 - 2.00 a the PX). When they ask for their passy, tell remind them that daddy really needs it for his special present and they have their toy to remind them of daddy all the time.

It may work, it may not, but it could be worth the try. Just try to hold out. Giving their passy up may not be easy but giving it to daddy would be easier than having it taken away. You husband may enjoy it too, and by the time he returns the passy addiction will be over-- You may even frame the passy's that have been all over the world (once you know they will never want them!)

Good Luck,
God Bless!

I'm going through the same thing with my 2 year old, so I'm glad you asked the question and will keep checking the responses. Something I saw on Supernanny and would like to try, is that you do some kind of ceremony with the passies (i.e. tie them to some helium balloons and tell the child that they are going to the babies in heaven). Then, the child should get some kind of prize in return, or some kind of little party. Good luck!

My husband is also deployed and we have 4 children who all require transportation to their activities. But I can remember the pacifier dilemma clearly. I noticed that one of my daughter's pacifiers had a little hole in it and she quit preferring that one, she'd go to another. So every couple of days I'd sneak in and use scissors to snip a little gash in the end of one of the pacifiers. After a couple of weeks they all had gone "flat" and since she didn't have any more, she was weaned. Try just one first to see if this works for you. Hang in there. I know just how hard it is to stay strong while they're deployed. But that's why they chose us to be their spouses, because they knew they could trust us to be good parents for their children even when they're not at home.

A friend of mine had success with taking scissors and snipping a tiny bit off the end of the pacifier. When the kid expressed interest in what happened she said...oh I guess your big boy teeth are cutting it. She slowly kept doing this until it was too hard for the kids to keep in their mouth...

When the kids requested new ones she said we could get new ones but it will just keep happening. Babies don't have teeth and that's why they can keep their passy's.

Good Luck!

Don't stress about a passy at all. When I had our 2nd child and was in the drs. office, another mom asked me if she was our first. I kind-of thought she was asking because I was still letting her use the passy and she was close to 2 yrs. old and maybe she thought she shouldn't be taking on. I replied she wasn't and I probably shouldn't let her have the passy. This mom told me that her 1st child was off the passy at 1 yr. old, the 2nd and 3rd child were older ... by the time the 5th child (!) came along, she figured that if that child got married and was still using it, it would be someone else's problem. We both laughed and I accepted that if baby wants passy, baby gets passy ... who is it hurting? No-one! She mostly just used it when she was tired. Our daughter tossed hers in the trash one evening when she was about three and we had a family party to celebrate her being a BIG GIRL. We kept one hidden out JUST IN CASE but she never missed it. You're young, enjoy them and don't think about this any more.

Hi L., My name is Sheilea. I have raised 2 children & have until recently helped my son (single father) raise my 6 yr. old grandson. Sounds like you are doing a great job ! My heart & prayers go out to you having to handle everything by yourself right now. Have faith though & don't stress too much about the pacifier thing. They'll give them up, when they get ready. My children & grandsons just put them down one day & never asked for them again. (My daughter actually threw hers out the car window.) I think she was about 3. None of them have buck teeth from their passey, by the way. I know you are probably under a lot of stress right now, maybe the children sense this. What do you do to relieve your stress? The children have the pacifier. It gives them comfort. Don't be too anxious to take that away from them just yet. Also if possible, be sure to take "you" time. Even if it"s just to go to the dollar store By Yourself for an hour. God Bless & keep you husband safe.

Sounds silly try going by the farmers alminac that really worked for go by the weening sign thats how I broke from the bottle and the pacifer. its worth trying goodluck. I will pray that your husband comes home soon.
Rebecca M

my little girl woulnd'nt stop taking it i tried weening nothing worked so i took them all up and put them in the trash and gave her one that i had cut the nipple off of and told her it has broken it took about a week but every time she's cry about it i'd give it to her and she'd say ooh no it's broken. Don't know if it will work on boys but good luck in your adventure!!!

Only 1 of my children took a pacifier(my middle child) and it was her lifeline! at any given time we had 20 all over the house not to mention 3 in the diaper bag and untold numbers forgotten and lost under couches and behind beds! When she was about 3 I started to wean her off of them much as you are doing now but she was like a hoarder! Every time I would take 1 away she would go into another room and come back with 1 in her mouth! I finally had one of my little mommy breakdowns(which I do from time to time LOL) and sent the little darling to my mother's house for the day. While she was gone I searched the house from top to bottom and found every last one. But instead of throwing them away I picked them up, snipped off the tip so she had just enough to hold between her lips but not suck on, and put it right back where I found it. Within a week I had thrown every last pacifier away! She would pick them up and put them in her mouth but realize there was something wrong and spit them back out. I would come along behind her and throw them out. I honestly didn't think this would work but instead of dwelling on it she would voice her displeasure and just go about her day. Every now and then she would come up with one I somehow hadn't gotten to yet but as soon as she set it down for a minute I'd snip that one to and throw in away in an hour. This worked , I think, because I wasn't forcing her to give up the pacifier. It was her idea to put them down. Maybe this will work with you but if it doesn't I hope you find something that does work. Good Luck!!!

My middle child just turned 2 and we decided to try and get her pass pass away from her. What we did was start asking her to give it to us. We would give me the pass so we can hear you talk. Then we would hide it. After a week she would start taking it out and handing it to us on her own. Well one night i asked her to give it to me and without fuss she id i said tell pass bye bye and she idd then she went to bed without it and there was no fuss at all. get them to a point where they willingli give it up. Good luck

My two girls were hooked on binkies too, and the only way I got them to give them up was when the dentist told me that their teeth were starting to bow out a little bit. Then I could say "The DENTIST said to stop using the binkies, remember? They'll make your teeth crooked!" After about a week, they didn't even ask anymore. Put it all on the dentist. Let HIM be the "bad guy". I'm sure he's used to it. LOL

Hi! Jon and Kate Plus Eight is a reality series about a couple who had twins and then had sextuplets. When it came time for the sextuplets to get rid of their pacifiers, Kate, the mom began to tell them that they were big kids now and only babies have pacifiers. She told them that their little baby cousin needed the pacifiers because he was a baby. She asked them if they wanted to give him their pacifiers, they all agreed. They were so excited about giving him their pacifiers. Kate found all of the pacifiers and put them in a bag. She loaded all of the kids in the car and drove over to the cousins house so the sextuplets could give him their pacifiers. They felt so big and proud that they had given him their pacifiers. Kate said that night only one of the sextuplets asked for their pacifier but other than that, she never heard another word about it.

The Super Nanny was on The View one day talking about getting rid of pacifiers. She suggested telling the child that they were big now and it was time for the pacifier fairy to come get their pacifier. Have the child put in by the front door before they go to bed. When the child is a sleep, take the pacifier and put ribbons, feathers and fairy dust on the floor. When the child wakes up the next morning, it will look like the pacifier fairy was really there.

I think both of these are clever. I am not one to lie to my child so when the time comes for my 1 year old to get rid of his, I will probably try Kate's method.

I've heard of telling them about the pacifier fairy or some sort of story about the pacifiers needing to go back to their momma...kind of like the toothfairy...they leave it under their pillow one night and then they receive a small prize the next morning. You might could look it up on the internet. My daughter turned one and just quit asking for a pacifier...she had one constantly up until that point so I don't know what to tell you.

Well, I'm not a licensed therapist or anything, but I don't think using the excuse that your husband is gone is a good reason to let the children continue using the pacifiers. I know the three of you are suffering from this deeply. I have been deployed myself, so I know a little about the situation. That was before I had my children, but I can put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, I would not want my children to become dependent on something, such as a pacifier in times of stress or loss. To me, that just teaches your children that it's ok to be dependent and clingy to things when things get tough or don't go their way. I think you should teach them to be strong individuals, and should start at an early age. I think that's what's wrong with the world and society these days. People give in too easily to their children and pass it off as well they're sad or they're mistreated or their dad's gone. Well you know what honey, my girls dad might not be out of the country fighting for our country, but he hasn't been in their lives. I never get a break from my girls, so I know about being at your wits end! Try doing it for 5 years without a break or any family members to help you! My girls just turned eight and ten. The youngest has ADHD and the oldest was just diagnosed with diabetes two days before Thanksgiving. She has to have 4 shots of insulin a day!!!! I have things rough, but I am putting myself through college to become an RN, and I DO NOT use excuses for my children to let them get away with things I know they shouldn't. In my opinion, you should be the children's security not the pacifier! That may sound harsh in me for saying, but it's my honest opinion. My girls thank me every week for being in their lives. Do you want to know why? Because I am the only certain and consistent thing in their lives. I am the only one they can depend on. I don't use the excuse of "oh poor you, your dad's not in the picture, let me make things easier on you." Show your children that you love them and they won't need the pacifier anymore! Tough love is hard to do but is necessary to truly show your kids how much you actually love them! You aren't doing anything but hurting them when you use the excuse of your husband being away! Think of how you would feel if he wasn't in the military and he was just a dead-beat dad who wasn't in their lives period. Would you want to be a strong mother for them, or one who uses excuses and let's them have their way?????? I try to always look at things from different points of view, because there are always going to be people out there who have it worse than we do. There are plenty of single mother's out there who have completely raised their children and are now working on raising their grandchildren! To me, we need to put our feet down as parents now, when our children are young, instead of letting them do things we know are not good for them because it's easier all the way around! And ladies, pacifiers do damage teeth. I have a friend who both of her kids have to have braces because she had big pacifiers for them until they were 4 and 5 years old. Maybe if she had smaller ones for them like in most of your stories, they may not have had to have them. The longer you make excuses for the children to have them, the longer the children will be dependent on them. It starts with letting them have their way with little things such as the pacifier, and then slowly becomes larger and more hurtful things. It's time to stop making excuses for our children and start taking action. If we don't the children of this day and age are going to grow up and become worse hooligans than the rebellious and hateful teenagers are right now! I do feel for you with your husband being away. Please don't take me wrong with this letter of advice. I do have empathy for you. I know it's extremely hard because you miss him and worry each day. I have actually been married twice and had to give my second x husband up, although I was still madly in love with him! He choked me when my daughter was 6. Even though it hurt me as much as my mother passing away 7 years ago, I knew I had to do it because I didn't want my children growing up in that kind of life! It still bothers me to this day, because I still love him with everything in me! I did the right thing for my children. My girls are too young to appreciate that right now, and so are yours, but they will appreciate the tough love things we do for them. We get a lot of our rewards of being a mother when they do finally learn to show how they appreciate it, and the satisfaction of when they do realize the things we have done for them! Good luck and God Bless

You know weaning didn't really work for me. Biting the bullet and getting rid of it gives you 2 or 3 days of hell but seemed to work for me. I told my one daughter who was really attached "you are a big girl now, no more binky's" and let her watch me throw it away in the trash. Transition was painful but she learned to self-sooth. I found out years later that my older daughter hid a binky and would let Marissa suck it in her room. So go figure. Good Luck
I am 50 years old and have 4 kids

So far my son isn't attached to a paci, but I have a cute story to share. I work a the well baby nursery at a local hospital. One day a Daddy showed up with a toddler who was "giving all his pacifiers to the new babies that may need pacifiers." We very graciously took the pacifiers and gave him a piece of candy for his good deed and he went on his merry way. The Daddy was relieved that we played along so welland that he gave up his sack of pacis without any drama attached. I don't know how it was at home that night, but he never looked back when we took his bag of pacis. Of course we threw away the bag a few hours after they left...just to give him time to 'change his mind' LOL. Two good things came out of this idea, the toddler learned how to give/share and stopped using his paci. Good job Daddy!

Snipp them and then tell them they are broke my daughter likes to carry around her's that is sniped we just snip off a little more each day and when its gone its gone. I understand your husband being deployed when my four year old was younger and my husband was deployed and I was pregnant and had a really horibble day I decided it was time to go I was already feeling awful so I throw them away and that was the end of it. Snipping works much easier though because then you are not the bad guy. It just got broke good luck. I am tight there with you breaking my little girl off of hers.
M. s

I'm so sorry to hear the your husband is deployed. It is hard enough going through that alone, I'm sure. As far as the pacifiers, is really that big of deal that they are using them? My daughter loved her pacicifer. She was 2 when she finally gave it up. I tried like you to take it away from her sooner, but with no luck. Her dad was gone a lot on business trips, and I think she used it as a security measure. I decided one day that it really wasn't that big of a deal. She only took it when she was ready to sleep. I continued to let her have it. Then I gradually would wein her off of it. I would distract her with a story, watching her favorite movie, etc. I wouldn't let her have at that one nap. I would also tell her that big girls don't use pacifiers. Babies are the ones that need them. Finally one day she decided herself that she no longer needed it. That was that. She cried when I was weening her off of it, but when I finally quit making a big deal about it she gave it up herself. Just try keeping them busy at those times that they want their pacifiers, and maybe they will be having such a good time they won't miss it. I would not stress about. A time will come when they won't want it. I hope this helps. Good Luck!!

Do not sweat the small stuff. Pacifiers are the small stuff. Your children are craving consistency right now since their lives are changing while dad is away. Remember, they won't go to kindergarten with that passy. Keep up what you are doing and stay consistent with everything you do. You might get them to start soothing themselves with a blanket or favorite stuffed anilmal so they can transition from passy to blanket, etc. eventually. You are doing great and don't listen to those who put time frames on you for passy's and the like. They don't walk in your shoes. Each child is different. Don't compare them to others because they don't live with the same circumstances. Pray over everything. Get involved with a play group to give you an outlet also. Best wishes!

L.,
My next door neighbor went through this recently with her 3 year old and it was not as bad as she expected. The first night her daughter cried " I want my passy" about 1000 times and it was horrible. The next morning she was like a junkie ripping open drawers and throwing things saying I know there has to be one in here somewhere. Mamma told her "Swiper fox came in and got all of them!". The second night she only asked for it once or twice and then it was all over. I think that at the age your children are there is no physical need to suck, so the attachment is purely psychological. With your husband deployed, I know that makes things extra hard but perhaps a special treat(extra time with you, playing a game or extra bedtime story)would help them ease their bedtime woes. Let me know how it works out. Good Luck!

Hi, L.! It's a difficult thing for children to deal with deployment...my husband was gone for 17 months when our oldest was not quite four. He didn't take a pacifier, but he did suck his thumb when he was sleepy or upset. I was hoping to work with him on stopping when he was four, but he didn't deal with the deployment that well either. He had other changes he was adjusting to as well so I decided not to take away his comfort. When he turned five, he just quit on his birthday after several months of talking about how inappropriate it would be when he turned five. I think weaning from anything is so difficult and very different for every child. I definitely think you could try small steps toward giving it up, but I wouldn't force it if there's great resistance...daddy's gone and they need familiarity and security, even if it's in the form of a pacifier.

My first son took a paci until he was almost 2. He only wanted it at nap and bedtime. So what I did on weekend is take it away for nap. And then after that day I wouldn't give it to him at nap at all. And that really worked. So maybe you could try that. Then work in to the bedtime.

About 2 weeks before my youngest son turned 3, we started talking about how he was going to be a "big boy" at 3 and that he would have to throw his pacifiers away. On the morning of his birthday, we put all the pacifiers in a ziploc bag and he got to throw them in the trash. (I confess, I did save one just in case). Either he was ready to give them up or all the build up of being a "big boy" seemed to work. He never asked for them again! Hope this helps. Good luck!

My daughters were 3 1/2 and 18 months when we took away their passy's. I feel that we did the 18 month old too early, she would wine at night for months, but we wanted to take them away at the same time.

The "passy fairy" came one day during the afternoon. Some people have had the passy fairy come in the middle of the night. We talked about the passy fairy for a few weeks, and I told her that she will be coming soon. The passy fairy left a present and a note and she was fine with it - Very excited! She never wined at all, but our youngest didn't understand.

The 3 1/2 year old's teeth were becoming a problem, she was getting a horrible overbite where she would suck the passy. But now after about 8 months, her teeth have almost moved back completely.

With your husband being away, I wouldn't worry too much, I would let them suck if it gives them and you the comfort that you need. Thank you for all that your husband is doing for us and our country!

I saw this on TLC one night and just found it on youtube. It may work for you family but this family sent all the pacifiers "to heaven" and then had cake and icecream to celebrate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WgrRxN-zGI

Try cutting off the very tip of the passy. It loses it shape when they suck on it, basically it goes flat when they suck. He will eventually give up on his own because he doesn't get the satisfaction he used to. If he still continues to want to suck the cut passy you can keep cutting a little more off every couple days until it is too small to keep in his mouth. This way HE decides he doesn't want it any more not Mommy won't let me have it.