My husband and I would really like the avoid opening presents at my son's upcoming birthday party. He'll be 4 yo. Can we get away with opening a few with specific people before or after the party (like grandparents), or special friends off to the side if they insist? There's many reasons we don't want to do this, but we also know that it can upset people (usually adults because the kids want to play, swim, etc.). Thoughts?
Why not end the party with cake and hand out goody bags, but let people stay for gifts if they want to and do them after the party.
HTH
T.
If you are having the party at a location like a bounce house, Chuck E Cheese, etc. then it is exceptable to not open gifts. The paid time does not cover opening gifts usually.
If you are having the party at your house, it would be okay to have some family members come a little bit before or stay after and then open gifts then. We have done this. My daughter's last birthday (3y), the gifts didn't even make it half way down the hallway before she had each gift open. Each time someone new arrived.... i was a bit horrified, but everyone else thought it was so funny that she was so excited about their gifts.
M.
I don't understand what you are saying about upsetting people?? I think adults want to see the birthday child open and be delighted with the gift they have selected. Is that what you mean the other kids won't behave while he opens stuff?? If he is 4, you should probably be having a relatively small party anyway, we always followed the rule of one guest per year of life 4 yo would have 4 guest that were children. Personally if you are having a huge party, put all the family gifts aside an open them after the friends leave, but open the friends present while they are there, do it last so they can leave if they want to , but they can also stay if they want to too.
If gifts are a problem , you could always request donations to an animal shelter or a children's charity, the kids can bring a little puppy toy or a new book, and your son can learn some great lessons about giving to others.
I thinks it's unusual not to want to open presents at the party. Put yourself in these childrens shoes. When you were a kid, didn't you like to see what other children were getting? And, if you were the kid bringing the present, didn't you want to see your friends reaction when she opened your present?Let him open the presents at the party, or maybe you should just specify on the invitations, no gifts, so that way you won't even have to worry about offending anyone.
I would just have the gifts in a non-prominant place at the party. Then, go about the party until it is time to go. If someone asks about it, explain that you want to do it later in private so that the kids can play and enjoy the party. But, be sure to send prompt, gracious thank yous!!
I didn't like having young ones open their gifts at their party because if it was a duplicate or something she couldn't use, I usually returned them. Once unwrapped, my child would want to take the item out of the packaging and play with it at the party which meant I couldn't return it, plus the other kids at the party usually grabbed all the pieces and they'd get lost before the party ended.
That said, we still always open(ed) gifts at the party. The givers expect it...they gave it to see the joy on your child's face! And, gift opening is a highlight for the birthday child...now that he is 4, he knows they are for him, so you may be embarrassed when he asks to open them and you have to tell him "later".
What I started doing was taking the gift from the child after they admired it, before they could open the package & placing it up somewhere high or in a large shopping bag and handing them the next gift to open. When they are done, have them thank everyone and quietly slip away to your bedroom with the gifts. Tell your child in his ear (or before the party) that you will let him play with the gifts after all the guests are gone....or let him have one special gift that can't be broken/doesn't have little parts, etc. This has worked great for us...my youngest is 6.
Hope that helps...
opening presents is really a big deal at a party, id say open them, yes, the adults are usually the ones who want to see it, and the birthday boy wants to do it!, but these people spent time and money, respectfully, they should get to see the look on the kids face when their present is opened.
I like to see the kids open the gifts i give them because most of the fun is seeing if they like what I got them. If you don't want to open presents from everyone then don't open only "special" people's presents. That would tell me faster than anything that my presence is not needed or wanted.
You could also just have a kids party and put that gifts are not wanted on the invitation. Have a family get together with cake and presents at a different time. Grand parents and Aunts and Uncles really don't want to be around lots of running screaming kids, at least my friends and family feel that way. They would prefer a quieter, more intimate or special family time anyway.
I personally love to watch people open gifts. I like the idea of doing dead last on the party itinerary, so that those who do not want to stay for it may leave.
L.H.
Why not put on the invitations "No gifts please"? That's what we have been doing since our son was 4 years old. We wanted our son to focus on celebrating his day with friends rather than focusing on which friend brought the best gift. We have striven to take the consumerism out of his birthday and instead replaced it with a fun day filled with games and activities with his closest friends.
Our son is 8 years old now and he has never asked why his friends don't bring gifts to his birthday party. Instead we host a separate, very small party with extended family members and our son receives his birthday gifts from family at that party.
Overall we have found the families of his friends appreciate not having to bring a gift because it reduces the stress involved and the financial commitment. When the children leave they are happy to have had a great day rather than crying because our son didn't like the gift they gave.
Just a thought.
C..
Most of the birthday parties my son has been to lately, they have not opened the gifts at the party. I would suggest that as your child opens a gift, take a picture of your child and the gift, then send that picture as your thank you card. My son got one of those and I thought it was such a great idea!
C.
Kids love to open presents and if he has friends over they love watching too, unless he has a "million" gifts to open. Usually some of the gifts he will open they want to play with right away anyways. I would say it takes 10 mins to open gifts just do it.
We do not open presents at our children's parties. However, if grandparents want to stick around after the friends leave to see our kiddos open their presents they are welcome to do so
Honestly, people expect it and if you are going to have a party, I would say open the presents. Try to time it so it is a less crazy time and kids are fed, well-exercised, etc. When we attend parties, we stay for the playing and food and games and well-wishes but often leave right before opening gifts just because of our kids' ages--it is really annoying to have your child trying to take something from the birthday child or play with that child's gifts. I would say make the effort for your guests, open friends' gifts first in case they need or want to leave discreetly, and deal with the chaos of having a party. :)
We managed to avoid opening the presents at my 4 year olds birthday party. I wanted to have more time for the kids to play and I din't know if 4 years old would be very patient for presents. I also wanted to avoid him saying something wrong about a present..like I don't like that..even though we talk about being polite all the time. Only one parent seemed to notice, we did send thank you notes right away though.
