Older (3 Yr Old) Brother Being Mean to 1 Year Old Sister!

I have the opposite problem. My 2 year old daughter is mean to my 5 year old son! The little one takes toys and hits when things are not going her way. I finally just separated them and gave them each their own time to play alone. I put the baby gate up and they share toys over the fence, but are free to move away and have their own space too. After a little while of separate time they are usually more willing to play nicely together.

I have 2 kids the same age difference. Now they are 4 and 2. You definitely need to be consistent about stopping every mean act, but for my son, at least, I found that focusing in making the victim feel better works much better than punishing the aggressor. I used to put my son in time out every time he did something, but it had little effect. Now, he just needs to make his brother feel better somehow, for instance, if he hurts him (either accidentally or on purpose) he has to give him a hug and a kiss, say sorry, and maybe do something else, like fetch the younger one's comfort toy. The same rules apply to the younger boy, who is now old enough to be a pest at times, too. It hasn't stopped sibling squabbles completely, but it has helped, and I think this approach has definitely strengthened their relationship.

I this he jealous the other one or having some insecurities.

You need to make special time for your son ( one on one time) It sounds too simple to work, but it will help.

My two kids have the same age difference but are now 5 and 3. Neither of them are in preschool programs so they are together all day, every day. In our family, we have a good perspective on this because I am the youngest child in my family and my husband is the oldest.
We understand that while the older child can sometimes "torment" the younger one, we want to guard against our younger child from feeling like a "victim" and using that position to get the older one in trouble. My husband says he felt like he pretty much always got the blame when something went down, just because he was the oldest and "should know better."
One thing we've done is (this might sound strange but stay with me here) is encourage the kids to work together, even if it's against us. We want to encourage a relationship between them where they almost feel like it's "them" (the kids) against "us" (the parents). The other thing is we don't allow any tattling (unless it's safety issue like swallowing something or fingers in outlets). So "She hit me!" and "He took my toy!" don't have any power. Obviously this applies more to when they get a little older.
For now, I would not make it about who is bigger or smaller, older or younger. I would make it about the rules. If he hits her, remove him from the situation (the corner, a chair, his room, etc) with a firm "We don't hit in this house." After you give your youngest, yourself, and your oldest a few minutes to calm down, calmly repeat "We don't hit in this house" and move on. Our rule for toys in our house is "whoever is playing with it has possesion" so we don't get bogged down in whose toy belongs to whom. That has helped because all that matters is the rule, which is "We don't take toys away from other people." This eliminates the "that's miiiiiiine" whines.
For the time being, your youngest needs you to be her advocate since she probably can't speak for herself, but soon enough she'll be defending her space on her own! Good luck.

Continue to discipline him in a postive way of taking away things he enjoys until he can control the behavior with the sister. Then I would also suggest supplementing his diet with a multivitamin/mineral and add a b vitamin or two. This will allow him to deal with a stressful situation better and feed the body any missing nutritent that would be beneficial to good health.

I suggest the childrens vitamins and B Complex from Shaklee because I know several children with behavioral issues due to ADD/ADHD and more that can control the situation with the multi and b-complex. One child is unable to focus and behave in school but with the multi and b complex he is able to focus and gets straight A's. Without the supplements he lands in the principals office.

The good news is all the products are 100% money back guaranteed so if it does not work you can return the supplements to Shaklee and get a full refund. For more information visit:
www.choice-wellness.myshaklee.com
click on information for childrens nutrition. Hope this is helpful.

He's the big brother. It's his job to annoy her. I have two. They still do!

You need to put him in time out every single time he does that sort of thing. You need to set the tone - rules are rules - have him help you make the rules for your home. Write them down and post them. Discuss the rules and the consequences for breaking those rules.
1. No hitting... discuss: If you hit your sister, you go in time out for 3 minutes. What happens if you hit your sister? etc..
2. No taking toys... etc.

If he can get away with this type of thing at home, he will do it at preschool. You've got to nip it now.
LBC