Not So Glamorous

Try to remind yourself that it's just a phase. There will come a time when daily parenting affords you the time and money to pamper yourself again. In the meantime, try to find some easy things you can do for yourself at home or cheaply. For example...

1) my husband and I exercise together by taking walks, once in the morning and once in the evening.

2) on a lark, I asked my husband to color my hair, rather than going to a stylist (I color just to hide the grey). He took my request very seriously, researched how to do this, bought the tools and did an amazing job. Now, my color is a $10 box and 1 hour of my husband pampering me.

3) take a bubble bath and read a favorite book or magazine. My husband would always use my bath time as a extra-special father/son time...usually watching tv I wouldn't allow, so everyone feels they got a treat!

4) Wear a flower in your hair when you pull it back.

5) Dress in something other than sweats! If your feet need to be comfy with your pregnancy, wear something kicky and fun with your tennis shoes. Any style you wear with confidence will look good.

Hang in there! This too shall pass...

I'm impressed with the advice you've already been given.

We always hear that how we take care of ourselves makes a difference in how we behave - "wake up, look up, dress up, go up." Why do we forget it when we're SAHMs? I think one reason is that we have families to care for, and we feel just a bit noble (ahhh!) if we feel we are making sacrifices for them. I remember my own sweats days. Another reason is that we have families to care for and limited time and money!

But if you had a best friend who was depressed, you'd urge her to get up, clean up, and get dressed every morning. So be your own best friend. It doesn't cost anything to look in your own closet and put on clothes that look reasonably decent (better than sweats, exercise clothes, or pajamas). It only costs a bit more to figure out a three-minute hairstyle that both you and your husband think look good on you.

Instead of fancy hair and fancy nails you may have to have a great attitude instead, but that's OK and it lasts longer. Getting out of the house is a great thing; you get in the sunshine - sometimes - and get fresh air and something new to look at, even if it's the neighbors' front doors and the flowers in their yards. Do you look at them? And you're using up calories and toning your body, which eventually will help what you look like in the mirror.

You don't need luxury - although you can take it when you get it; you need a sense of self. You're an example to your little ones and an inspiration (yes) to your husband. That makes you Somebody right there - even without the pedi and the waxed eyebrows.

End of lecture. :^)

The better you look, the better you feel! Find a great stylist, get your hair done. Mine cuts so well it grows out beautifully and I only need to go every 6-8 months. Do your own nails and toes at home, put on some makeup, even a little will help you feel and look more awake. Do a ponytail because it's practical but add a little cute clip or make it a bun, twist, etc. Or use the beach/salt sprays for texture, no fuss! Wear clothes that fit well, never that are baggy or too big. Yoga pants are okay, when they fit they make you look slimmer and are more practical than jeans everyday. But no sweats! Put in a little effort and you will feel differently. Plus it's important that our kids see us taking care of ourselves too, and to show them a confident mom!

I decided when my kids were very little that I would always do several things. I would always make my bed and get the dishes done. I would always have a good hair cut. I would always wear decent clothes - nothing fancy but no sweats or crew t-shirts. I would take time to exercise and eat right. And I would always cut myself some slack if I couldn't do it. It really helped! Those few basics are really all I've been able to manage for "glamour" such as it is, but they've sort of provided a cushion between me and the doldrums.

My advice is go get your hair done!! I told my hubby how frumpy I was feeling and he sent me to the salon asap! :D It's amazing how much a few layers and highlights can help! I am 22wks with baby 3 and a lot of days I just feel like I have been fat for five years, yikes!! So I took my little pregnant self to Motherhood Maternity and bought some super cute capris and tops off the non clearance rack and I am going back to get a nice long dress. I know hair, clothes and make-up can't solve all of life's problems but knowing that I can make myself up pretty makes the days when I just don't get there ok. This is my last baby and I am getting this weight off and like you I haven't gained much this pregnancy either, so that's a blessing. So my vote is to go and do some girly stuff and get at least one cute outfit so if you want to feel cute, you can! After I told my husband how bad I was feeling he asked how many times a year I need to go and get the works (hair cut and highlights), I told him and he said we were going to make it happen bc there is no reason I should have to let myself go just bc I am at home with our kids. So maybe talk it over with your hubby and see if there is a plan you guys can make that includes you! Wish you all the best and happy healthy rest of your pregnancy :D

Get out every day for a walk - put baby in a stroller and force yourself outside if you must (though it might want to do it early morning or early evening, because of how hot it is). Drink plenty of water, fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains, protein - no soda, no fast food, no junk. And at least try to find some decent-looking jeans and tops - don't succumb to the sweats and yoga pants!

You can also try to find some less expensive ways to help yourself look better if you think you need that boost. Color your own hair, and give yourself a mani/pedi after baby is in bed.

I know those things are expensive, but it is ok to treat yourself once in awhile to a mani/pedi, massage, hairstyle/cut/color etc. You have to do what makes YOU feel good. Its part of having good self-care. Even if you set aside $10 each week, that money adds up and then you can treat yourself the next month to a treatment of your choice! :) GL and congrats on your pregnancy!

M

Congratulations, you've made it to the half-way mark in your pregnancy. It sounds like you are taking good care of yourself and your family and you have your priorities straight. With your recent diagnosis, its more important than ever to take good care of yourself.

A friend told me when I first quit F/T work to stay home with my daughter to always get up and get dressed like you are going somewhere. Put on makeup, clean clothes (no sweats) and get out of the house, even if its just for a walk pushing the stroller.

Do you have a friend you could schedule a Girl Date with? Do each other's nails, watch a chick-flick, etc.

Another idea would be to check out local beauty schools to see if their costs for a haircut and highlights or a mani/pedi are feasible for you. The students are well supervised and you will be amazed how much better you feel having someone cater to you for a few hours. If spending money is out of the question, how about having Hubby take the baby and you get a long bath and the house to yourself for a few hours?

One more idea- check and see if you have a local massage school. They teach a whole section on pregnancy massage and they love to have pregnant volunteers. And, they have special pregnancy tables. When was the last time you got to lay on your stomach?

Hang in there. Remember this is just a phase and it won't always be like this.

We ALL feel that way sometimes, even those 'glamorous' ladies in the limelight have their insecurities...we are in the middle of a financial meltdown trying to get used to living on a fixed income, my husband used to love my nails when I kept them 'done' at the shop, I now keep them polished myself, we just moved & I've had to clip the ones who made it because the others went the way of boxes, cleaning, etc..I now color my evil gray hair myself :) as well, I have become very fluffy with my age (58) and some physical limitations...when I get really down I get lazy & grumpy and try to pull myself out of it...I felt the same way when I had post partum chubbies, my last two were only 17 mts apart so I felt like an elephant!

This too shall pass! Take a good long bath with some smelly stuff & candles while DH takes care of baby...put on a nice nighty and brush your hair out put on a little lipstick and get some rest...next day, call someone to help with the little one & give yourself a home makeover, color your hair, do your nails, soak your tootsies, polish those toenails, get on a beauty site & try some new make up tricks, you can use the make up you already have to do this even though they want you to use the 'new & improved' stuff...you will be amazed at how much better you will feel!

This isn't to say that next week your hair won't be back in a ponytail & the woman looking back at you in the mirror won't be tired, hasseled and pregnant, that's just part of life sometimes! :) You just have to 'force' yourself to take care of YOU sometimes, cuz' hey without YOU where would all the others in your life be????

Be loved, sister and love thyself...

Hey, N., I think I'm safe in saying that every woman everywhere has times that she doesn't feel so glamorous : ) I'm in my 60s now, so "glam" doesn't mean much to me, but what I want to share with you - as an older woman teaching a yonger - is that since I was in my late 30s, I've been living with a CHOICE to be satisfied with myself just the way I am. I did this as a conscious effort to let God know that I didn't think he made me all wrong. I want Him to know that I appreciate how He decided to make me and I CHOSE to honor Him by accepting the beauty HE gave me. SO, since I made that choice, I quit cutting, perming, colring my hair, I gave up all make-up, and nail care was ridiculous anyway as they were ALWAYS chipped the same day I painted them : ) It took some getting used to, but after a while everyone got used to it and I have enjoyed 30 years of being the me God created me to be. And just think how many THOUSANDS of dollars I've saved my family! ((I wish I could make paragraphs!)) It all started with me asking DH how he'd like my hair best. Of course, I got, "I don't care>" But I pressed and he finally said, "Long. Why don't you just let it be how God made it to be. So for 30 years, all I've done is shampoo and condition it - it air dries and I comb it. I can go from bed to dressed and ready to get in the car in 10 minutes if I need to : ) That helps since we're rearing 4 of our 12 grandsugars : ) SO that's my thoughts - to encourage you to choose to be God's daughter and happy with the way Your Creator thought you should be. I'm sure you are beautiful ala natural! Hugs and blessings from Grami