No Help from Husband

Sounds like you are crazy busy! I feel the same way a lot of the time. Like, if I don't do it it won't get done. I have felt in the past (and still do) that I get stuck with the house work when I get home from work. I make dinner while the hubby plays his playstation or naps. Who said I wasn't tired?
But I have found that when this happens day after day I begin to get bitter and angry. I hold a little bit of a grudge towards my husband and it comes out in little, rude comments I make. And then we end up getting in an argument about something totally off that subject just because I am so bitter everything he does bothers me.
So when I feel this way I will down and talk to him. Don't list off the things you do and he doesn't (that will cause an argument). I use a lot of "I feel..." and try to explain to the best of my ability how I am feeling. And then I ask in a nice way for his help, "sweetie can you help me wash dishes?"
My husband needs a talkin' to every once in awhile, just to be reminded.
Sorry this is so long. I hope it helped. Good luck! And remember to take some time for yourself, you deserve it!!

This isnt much advice at all... Im having the same problem but my husband NEVER helps out. I work from home and I am 37 weeks pregnant and I do everything... If I so much as ask for his help he gets all upset that I need his help in the first place. I also feel at times that I am a single mother because my child wont ask my husband for anything, water, a bedtime story, etc... I will be doing the dishes and she comes and asks me for something... why? I guess its because when she does ask him, he tells her to ask me... she never gets any out come from him... It drives me absolutely NUTS!!! I just wanted to tell you that you, my friend, are not alone... I know that many women have this problem because men think that since they work that they dont need to do any cooking, cleaning, tending after the children, etc... I just wish that they would open their eyes and realize that we cant be WONDERWOMAN and be every where at once... and do everything at once either... I mean we will be sitting at the dinner table eating and if he needs anything at all he will ask me to get it for him... Hello Im eating too, Im not a maid its not my job to do all this for him when I have to do it for our child as well... I totally understand your frustration... IF you find anything that helps, if you would pass the info to me that would be wonderful... thank you and good luck!

I say that if you are working full time then he needs to pitch in at home just as much as you. You could try a "Mom Strike" and just stop doing all the things you do for him. Stop doing his laundry, stop making his meals (the kids will live on cold cereal, sandwiches, etc) and stop cleaning. Your house might fall into disarray for a while, but hopefully he'd understand that you need his help.

Or if you don't want to be that aggressive, I'd have a sit down with him and suggest he help with baths, bedtime, etc, every other night, set up a list of chores and let him pick a few that he'll be responsible for and that way he won't say, "You gave me the worst chores to do!" I dispise doing dishes, so 95% of the time, my husband does them, but he's never scrubbed a toilet because he hates it and I don't mind. He mows the lawn, I weed. He bathes our son, I bath our daughter.

Lastly you could always suggest that since he's the major breadwinner and your job isn't as important since it doesn't bring in as much money, that you should devote yourself to the family full-time and stay at home. (That is if that's something you're interested in.)

But most importantly, you need to help him understand that he helped you bring these kids into the world, he needs to help be responsible in caring for them, and that includes more than just bring home some money!

Good luck!

You know I feel badly for anyone that has to go through this because I have a really involved husband. We take turns reading bedtime stories. I cook he does the dishes. He mowes I weed. He even makes time to coach a soccer team on which we have no child. And he is the one that "brings home the money"
I think the reason it works so well betweent the two of us is because before we even had kids we had "the conversation" on how it would work when they came along. You teach people how to treat you and if you don't acknowledge the feelings you are having in the right way then it won't be important to your husband. Let him know that you work hard to, that your job is a constant that never goes away, but that you love it. But would appreciate some help.
I would imagine that your 10 year old has chores? And a 3 year old can help dry dishes, sweep, make the bed, and clear the table. If your boys are helping and your husband isn't you can point that out. If they aren't then you are not helping yourself. Make sure to deligate. Every body should contribute to "family" jobs. I do laundry but my husband will carry it down for me. My boys are 4 and 2 and they help put their laundry away. It may not be perfect now but it gets them in the habit and when they get older they will do it and do it right.
Just talk with the family let them know what you need from them, and I'm sure that alot of what you have to say was oblivious to your husband, and it will start to work out.
Good Luck

I don't think you're alone here--most of the women I talk to don't get nearly enough help from their husbands. The problem is, we have a natural tendency to do the things around the house, and they don't. They have a natural tendency to work and provide for their families (and do yard work). Could you cut back on your work hours (go part-time?). If he realized that might happen, he may pitch in more. Also, when I had this problem (which I still do--it's a daily challenge), I simply started to ask for help on little things (can you bring the laundry down when you come, will you take the meat out of the freezer, etc.) Sometimes I think they don't help because we step in and do most of it (it's easier in the short run but then we get resentful because it builds up!). They just don't have the natural tendency, we have to ask for help. Good luck, start small and then start asking for bigger things. And don't get upset when he doesn't do it "right"--at least he's doing something!