New Mom of Twin Girls Who Won't Sleep at Night.

F.,
Until you figure out what you can do, arrange for someone you trust to come over, play with the kids, and let you take a nap.

Even if you only get an hour, that's an hour you didn't have before. Being able to think while you're taking care of your kids is important. When something out of the ordinary happens, you need to be able to function and think clearly.

LIke today: We just had high winds come through and drop four of our neighbor's trees on the lawn. Pretty much a no-brainer, but had they been angled at 90 to the house instead of nearly 180, we'd have had one very smushed house. As it was, DS and I had just popped out to the library, and he didn't take a nap until we got home - and discovered Sherwood on the lawn.

Good luck, get a nap, and you'll figure this out soon.
M.
PS: Cereal does not guarantee sleep. They are 6 weeks, I would invest in a couple of swings (or one if you can't afford two for the baby that stays awake). They outgrow them before they can be addicted. :) No, it isn't a bad habit, but your lack of sleep might give YOU bad habits!

Hi F.,
6 weeks old is a tough time, doubly tough with 2 Im sure. I agree with most of the previous posts. In a couple of days or weeks they will be smiling at you when they see you up close. Believe it or not, that emotionally helps get through the next couple of weeks. Also I suggest you find a twins support group in your area. To meet up and hear from people that have been there can be a huge help.

Hello F.,
I am a mother of 9 month old twins. Your babies are still very small and they will be waking at night for a bit longer. It is crucial that you keep them on a schedule. You should feed them both at the same time, this may require waking the sleeping one. If you don't have them, I would invest in a couple of boppy pillows wich make it much easier to feed them at the same time when you are alone. If you need anymore advice please email me.
The first 3 months are indeed the hardest, but at 9 months old my boys sleep from 7 pm to 6 am. You will get there, it just takes time to get into a routine.

Hi, F.,
Twin daughters are amazing. Mine are now 2 1/2. It's really hard in those early weeks, but just keep it in the back of your mind that you are really blessed and you *will* survive this rough, hazy period.

I remember so well struggling in the early weeks with one girl who wouldn't sleep, and finally getting her to sleep -- just to have the other wake up and fuss as I was drifting off. It was maddening and overwhelming, but you get through it.

We did get our daughters on the same feeding schedule as much as possible -- every three hours, but sometimes it was more like two and a half hours. This encourages them to get on the same sleep schedule. Sometimes they would sleep for longer periods during the day, like for four hours or even more (when they were a bit older than your babies), but I quickly learned not to allow that to happen during daytime hours. What worked for us was to make sure they were awakened every three hours during the day, to encourage them to get that once-a-day, slightly longer sleep stretch during nighttime hours.

They were essentially sleeping through the night, both of them, by around four months. But in the weeks leading up to that point, the nighttime feedings kept getting closer and closer to morning, as they got more and more sleep. So it started getting easier sooner than that.

Don't worry about cleaning the house. Do the barest of minimums to maintain a working household for right now. If you have any extra money, don't use it to hire a housekeeper -- use it to hire a baby nurse. Even if you can only afford one for one night a week when your husband is working -- or one night every two weeks, or just one single night when you've hit a breaking point. If you can aim to get a six-hour stretch of sleep for yourself, it will work wonders.

Good luck. You have so many joys ahead of you! Feel free to message me privately if you want or need some more support.

-A.

Hi F.~
THey each have their own schedules!! I used the 4,8,12 method and had both sleeping from 12midnight to 8 AM at 6 weeks old!! I did feeding every 4 hours. Then eliminated that 4 AM feeding. I was watching Jon and Kate plus 8 the other night and that's how she did it with the 6!!!!!!! It works if you try it.
Good Luck!!!

F. every new mother goes thru this. Babies dont care about "schedules" and you wont be able to get them on one for several months yet, maybe even not for a year or more. My son woke every 2-3 hours round the clock for 15 months while I nursed him. You will survive the sleepless nights! We all do! ABSOLUTELY DO NOT GIVE THEM CEREAL. Not until at least 6 months. Their little bellies CANNOT handle it. Sleep when you can, even if its for 15-20 minute clips. Ask for help. Hire a cleaning lady, have your mom or a family member come over. Sleep on weekends when your husband is home. Being a new mom is overwhelming, we all manage through the sleep deprivation. Just give those little babies lots of love! Before you know it they will be walking and talking.

You should try to keep them on the same schedule. But the key word here is try. They are 2 completely different people with 2 completely different set of needs. Do the best you can. As for the cereal...it's a crock. It never worked for either of my kids, and I know tons of mothers who all say that as well. As a matter of fact, I don't know anyone personnally that it did work for. And this is far to early to give them food. The best I can say is let them kind of set up their own schedules and follow their leads. They will let you know what they need and when they need it. In a few weeks they will be ready for the 2 nap a day thing and then it should get easier. You just have to stick it out until then. Sleep when they do, if you can. Maybe your mom or your hubby's mom can come help n the mean time.

Congrats on your twins. I have 20 month old twin boys. Please, no cereal yet. It is too early. I know exactly how you feel. I was miserable the first 6-8 months. As much as I love them, it was so hard. A schedule is not much of a reality at this point. So sorry to say that. I agree with another post that if I woke one to feed to try to keep the same schedule, that one would cry and resist eating and have a hard time going back to sleep. You will make it through. It is hard (I have a husband that is away all week travelling for work) so I do understand. But, it will get easier. By 11 months old they napped at the same time every day (which I enforced by that age). One does sleep better than the other, but they both sleep through the night great. I have them in separate rooms since a young age due to the sleep differences. I did not want the good sleeper to suffer from his brother being up a lot crying.

Hang in there. I couldn't wait for those months to be over because it was so difficult. Now I wish I had them back!!!

Best of luck.

A year ago I was in your situation (I have 13 month old B/G twins) and you really do survive it and go on to better days! I want to reiterate what someone said previously that it can be very hard to get them on the same schedule because they are two different people. Chances are you will have one who is a better sleeper. My daughter first slept through the night at 8 weeks and when I think of all the sleep I would have had if it was just her...my son is just starting now to have more night's that he sleeps through than not.

My goal with the twins was to get them on the same schedule - actually that was a daytime goal - my nighttime goal was just to survive the night! But during the day if I couldn't keep the schedule the same, I tried to view it as an opportunity to have one-on-one time, which was something that I was also craving with them.

Take anyone up on their offers to help you - day or night. I take care of my twins and their big sister by myself a lot these days, but that wasn't the case from 0-8 weeks.

I wish you all the best. You will live through this stage!

I am the mother of 22 month old twin boys. What I did at that age, was feed the awake one, burp, change and then lay him down, even if he didn't sleep. When it was bedtime, I just layed them down, very rarely did I rock them to sleep, if they happened to fall asleep in my arms, so be it, but I didn't rock them until they fell asleep, If you just lay them down, even if they're awake, lay them in the same crib so that they can see each other, they will be fine and they will put themselved to sleep. The beauty of twins is that as long as they are near each other, they are happy. I kept my boys in the same crib until they could roll over and now their cribs are perpendicular to each other so taht they can see and touch each other. It's very important for twins to be near each other. Hope this helps you get some sleep.

First of all congratulations! I can't imagine how tired you must be though...I was exhausted with just one baby. I don't have much advice, sorry to say, but just wanted to let you know I'm here for support! A friend of mine had newborn twins, and she also has a toddler, so I've heard this all before and it does get easier. Just hang in there. As far as the cereal goes, always check with the dr. before giving them anything other than formula/hreast milk. 6 weeks sounds a little young to me to start that.

Good luck and congrats again! I hope you get some rest soon!!!
Lynsey

Hi F.,
Congrats on your beautiful new babies! The newborn period can be so rough, and especially so with twins. However, cereal is not appropriate for newborns - it's not healthy for them and they need all of their nutrition from their milk, cereal fills them up with little nutritional value.
While you may try to keep them on the same schedule, they are two entirely different people with different needs, and you can't force them to be hungry, tired, etc at the same time.
My suggestion for survival at this point is to get help, if possible. If you can afford a postpartum doula to help with the overnights, that would be a great thing for you. Also, don't put too much pressure on yourself! It's enough to have to take care of two newborns. Spend whatever time that you're not feeding, changing, etc resting or napping. If you have family who you can recruit for laundry, grocery shopping, a little light housekeeping - or a local teenager who you can pay to do these things, it may help you to keep your sanity.
Hugs and good luck.

Twins are tough at that age. We have twin boys and we were lucky enough to have a baby nurse for the first few weeks to help us out through the rough times... We also did what you did... if one baby woke up, we'd wake the other up to for a feeding. So, Baby A would wake up, we'd run down to warm up two bottles right away, then we'd change Baby A's diaper and start him feeding (we'd put him on a boppy and prop the bottle up with burp cloths so he was feeding without us holding him - - not ideal but you know how it is with twins!) Then we'd quickly change Baby B's diaper and get him on the bottle. At that point, we'd burp Baby A, then burp Baby B, and rotate. (By the way, this is how we'd do it if we were doing it alone - obviously much easier if you have 2 adults). Of course, there would be glitches, like when one baby wouldn't burp...
Then we'd put them both back to sleep. If one didn't sleep (which is inevitable), I'd just lie down on the bed(we had a bed in the twins room) with the crying baby so we could all get some sleep.

Believe me, I am a HUGE fan of crying it out... no co sleeping, etc... But those first few weeks, you just do what you have to do to get some sleep. If you put one in bed with you, at least you'll get an hour or two of sleep between feedings. You just need to be careful with the pillows, sheets, etc... I usually would lie on my back with the baby on my chest/stomach... And no covers on top of the baby.

I promise you, it gets better. I know you aren't quite seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but in a few more weeks, you'll be there...

the only other advice I can suggest is getting a baby nurse for night time. Expensive, but so worth it....

Finally, with respect to cereal, DO NOT DO IT!!! Babies should not have cereal until between 4 and 6 months. The one teaspoon of cereal isn't going to hold them over anyway in terms of hunger. They are getting up more to be with you and to be comforted than because they are hungry at that age...

F.
I survived the first year with my twins. So will you. But cereal at 6 weeks is a major no no. Too early.
As for same schedule, you may try, and i really hope it works for you but i surely did not manage to put them on the same schedule. If I tried waking up the sleeping twin because I had just fed the awake twin, I was in for more trouble. The sleeping twin did not want to drink then, but then resisted going back to sleep.
I do not have advice. Like I said, it took well over a year for things to get better and for me to actually believe I was going to sleep one day.You're lucky, your husband is available to help the other 4 days. My husband worked 12 hrs days, and was unable to stay awake to help me at nights. He helped out on weekends, but never at nights. We had no one to help us out, so I did it all.
Use the time when your husband is available, and use it for sleeping only. Forget cooking, forget cleaning. Take care of yourself, as it is the only way you will be able physically to attend to your twins. Things will get better
Good luck

Dear F., My heart goes out to you. I have 5 but no twins. I'm sure this will straighten itself out but I know you must be tired. I will pray for your strength. You will most likely get some advice from moms of twins. By the way, Happy first Mother's Day! Grandma Mary

Hang in there. My twin girls just turned 3. Having twins is a constant job. The first 3 months were the hardest. Sleep deprivation makes everything that much harder. People used to tell me to try to get the girls on the same schedule. Easier said than done as you can see. My girls were horrible sleepers (still not great). They weren't big bottle drinkers but, loved solid food (after 3 months). I tried swaddling, lavender baths, you name it. They did become fond of pacifiers. When they woke at night I would just get up to "plug" them and they went right back to sleep. Unfortunately it was often 3 times a night each. I was desperate for any sleep. Not sure if that was best, but who needs 2 babies crying at 3 am? I did realize after that they really did not wake each other up. If I had to do it again, I probably wouldn't rush in so quick to "plug."
Keep in mind that your girls are still little. They still need those nightly feedings and it takes time for them to get on a good schedule. My husband is a night owl and he would give them those last bottles at night before he went to bed while I got some sleep. We both got up at night for feedings. I know it's hard when someone has to go to work the next day, but being at home with twins is even harder.
Once again, hang in there. It gets easier, I promise. I wish you peaceful nights, but I think they're about another 6-10 weeks away (if you're lucky). Good luck.
Have you heard of the Nassau County Mothers of Twins Club? Check it out. They meet 1x a month. It's a social/support group for moms of multiples. I joined last summer and it's great feeling like I can really relate to the other moms. NCMOTC.org

my friend had twins.. and she started by 8 a.m. waking them up for feeding. or 7 if you want. then she would try to get them back to sleep.. and wouldn't feed them no matter what .. even if they screamed until 3 hours had passed.. then feed them again.. then try to keep them up .. play with them.. sit them up kind of.. talk to them. then when they are tired.. let them fall asleep.. again wait 3 hours before you feed them again.. she would do this all day and all night.. and within days.. they were on 3 hour schedule.. then her dr. told her when they were about 9 or 10 weeks.. to go 3.5 or 4 hours.. then when they were 14 weeks to go to 5 hours.. it worked great.. she had babies who slept really good once she got them on schedule.. by 4.5 months they slept thru the nigtht.. about that time she gave (4 mo. ) she gave them cereal.. good luck.. you'll survive.

F.-
buckle up, it is going to be a bumpy ride! i had twins that were poor sleepers and essentially did the same thing you are doing. i would be up every hour until i passed out at about 3 am and the my hubby was up every hour until he went to work. if they are sleeping together, then put them in separate cribs and let them cry a little if they wake up. my twins were about 18 months old when i finally took the bull by the horns and got them to sleep through the night. good luck. A.