I Am So Frustrated

I had very good luck by giving aserving of cereal and fruit at bedtime just before the last bottle. They would be bathed and ready for bed, given the cereal and fruit, wipe face and hands and fed about 4 5 ounces of milk. V.

You are doing wonderfully! I also have twins (they are 5 now) and understand what you are going through. I agree with the other mom with twins who talked about the schedule. It really seemed to help my boys. When they were infants, whoever woke up first was fed and changed and then i woke the other up and did the same or else i would be up all night. They both did well and were happy, healthy babies. When they were finally off the nighttime feeding i had a cd that played soft music with a heartbeat in the background and this also did the trick. Best of luck, you are doing an awesome job and i promise it does get easier!

Mine never got around to a schedule until about 6 months old. They didn't sleep good during the day until then. Night took a bit longer for some of them. Hang in there...it will happen.

Your babies sound totally normal to me. "Sleeping through the night" is five hours so it sounds like they're already doing that some of the time. Starting them early on solids will not help and can cause digestive/allergy problems. You probably don't want to hear this, but my first didn't sleep solidly the whole night until he was two and a half years old. My ten month old is currently waking every two hours. This started with teething. Up until then, she would do a six hour stretch. Teething, developmental milestones, etc. all can play havoc with sleep. What helps me is "talking" to other moms online and realizing that those babies who sleep the whole night early on are not really typical.

I hate to be pessimistic, but our daughter really didn't sleep more than 5 hours in a stretch until she was about 9 months old and didn't reach 8 hours until she was 12 months old. We tried EVERYTHING! She has just never been a sleeper. She even took 20 minute naps only 3 times a day for many months. Only recently (~18months) did she take a 1.5 hour nap (yes, only one daily!) and sleep ~10 hours at night straight through. We are so thankful for that! From what I have gathered after talking to MANY moms is that some kids just don't sleep or need to sleep or get their sleep patterns down until they've passed many milestones including walking. All I can say is hang in there, get help when you can, and know that it will eventually get better! Its so hard when you're so tired to hear that news. Good luck, and I hope yours sleep better faster than mine did!

I know you feel like you will never sleep again, but don't lose hope--you will!! Just try different things--we had to run the vacuum in my daughter's room for 30 minutes every night for the 1st 6 months of her life to get her to sleep and she's 3 now and still sleeps with a white noise machine running all night. A couple of books to try that really helped us: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and/or The Happiest Baby on the Block. We always, (in our sleep deprived state, we thought this was a good idea) tried NOT to feed the baby because we knew other babies who were already sleeping through the night, so we wasted a lot of time we could have been sleeping by changing diapers, rocking etc. instead of just giving the baby a bottle for 10 minutes and going to sleep. Just give in to the nighttime feedings if that's what the twins want and go back to SLEEP! They WILL stop waking up eventually, I promise. Stop comparing your kids to others'--it will make you crazy. I think some people really do have dream babies who sleep for 12 hours staright, but I also think some people exaggerate a bit or grandparents just don't remember what it was like--welcome to your 1st experience with Mommy Competition. I felt like every baby in the world was sleeping and mine wasn't. Try and take shifts with Daddy so you can at least get some stretches of decent sleep and drink LOTS of COFFEE:) Good luck.

F., I will try to offer some advise. i also have twins, (they are much older now - 8 yrs old) however the first 18 months or so are such a blurr!!! It was definately hard work! Most people with single babies don't understand what you are going thru. Here's a little bit about what i remember ... I always fed them at the same time, hungry or not! I woke them up in the middle of the night together once i figured out how to feed two at once.(My husband had no choice but to help at first, because i couldn't do it by myself) (bouncy seats worked great) I was VERY schedule oriented in the beginning, so i could find time to get some shut eye! (i know people out there say don't wake a sleeping baby - but if i didn't i NEVER slept, because they were on different schedules)
Also, although i don't remember when i started feeding them food, check with your pediatrician about the type of food you're feeding them. Maybe some of the fruits and vegetables are too gassy or something. Also, advise for a single baby may be different with twins due to when they were born, (if very early). Their systems may not be able to handle anything yet, except formula and cereal.
So, I don't know if that helps at all, but i guess the most important thing for me was a very strict schedule, all through out the day and night, and then staying very consistent with it. The good news is, it does get better!!! I have enjoyed the wonderful blessing that God gave me and my twins are awesome! Good luck!

Hang in there! It's such a difficult time, especially for twins!

I am not sure if this will help you at all, and you have perhaps already tried this. My daughter was getting up at night every hour to two hours every other night until finally we found out that we needed to darken her room. she was on a "napping" schedule, versus a night schedule. We bought room darkening shades and she has been sleeping a LOT better since. It was as simple as that! In any case, that is my only suggestion and I hope it is helpful to you!

I agree with the responses of getting into a routine. I think that would help out a lot. My daughter started sleeping through the night at 6 months....Mother's Day was the 1st time! What a gift!!!! Our routine was breastfeeding, Dad reading to her, and then prayer time. We then turned on soft lullabye music. I really think the music added to the soothing time of bedtime! If you are interested, I have a great lullabye CD at Balter Baby. I hope this helps.
K. http://www.balterbaby.com

You have gotten some great responses so far, but I agree with establishing a bedtime routine and with checking out Moms on Call. Their method is essentially a good routine, sleep machine and swaddle. It has worked for millions. The swaddle was a big key for us (my son is now 21 months) and the routine continues to be important. You will get through it -- good luck.

I F., we have twin girls who are now 2 years old. They didn't sleep through the night until they were around 10-11 months old. I read only around 50% of babies actually sleep through the whole night before their 1st b-day. At 4 1/2 months old, I would expect your girls to still be on a varied schedule, and you may be in for several more months of this, it is just hard to predict. A schedule helped us, and I did breastfeed both babies, so I would try to stick to every 3 hours, which they did for many months. We would wake them both to nurse during the night so I didn't nurse one and then have the other get up 1 hour later. Yes, I was sleep deprived, but I had to eventually accept that it was part of having twins and that yes, it would get better- and it did!!!! The best advice I can give you is stick to a routine and schedule- your girls will sleep longer and have fewer sleep problems later on if you teach them to sleep on their own and keep to a bedtime routine. But remember, they are still young ad their sleep patters are not yet established. Also, I may caution you again so much solid food- their tummies are not yet developed and too many solids can result in upset. Stay with lots of milk and maybe some cereal. And, just like another person said, the solids will not help them sleep more- introduction of rice cereal to my girls at 5 1/2 months did nothing... Best of luck and remember, it will come around! Oh, also, if you have a partner or relative/friend who can keep your girls occasionally, take them up on it and get a wonderful nap! F.

My twins are 22 months old (boy & girl). When they were 4 months old they started sleeping through the night. Actually it happened the same week I went back to work. I thank God for that... I prayed all the time. You have to get your twins on the same schedule and stick to it. That makes life so much easier with twins. We get compliments on ours all the time because they are so well behaved. I have 5 children & I have learned the key to raising them and making your life easier is CONSISTENCY! It may be hard at first but it will make things better for you in the end. Their doctor told me to feed on demand. Our twins were in the hospital for 7 weeks on a feeding schedule every 3 hours so they expected that when they came home. They cried for hours sometimes but we followed what the doctor said. All of my kids did start sleeping through the night after eating baby food but every child is different. Make sure they dont have gas on their stomachs. Mine had problems with that and they had colic. In my experience twins are completely different than other children. Mine were born less than 3 pounds... that may have made a difference. Hang in there it will get better but you have to stick to your guns and whatever you do...do the same thing everyday. God Bless You & Yours! Prayer works!

Hi F.,
I defintiely know what you are going through, I have two sets of twin girls. I experienced the same thing you did with my first set of twins who will be 2 in November. They did not sleep through the night until they were six months. With my 5 month olds, I read an article titled the BBB, (Bath, Bottle, Book). Every night at about 730 I give them a bath, a warm bottle and I read to them, and they have been sleeping through the night since about 4 months of age. Get them on a schedule and trust me you will see results you are doing everything right, but sometimes it may take a longer. Trust me, I understand your frustrations I work full time and have two sets of twins so having them on a schedule definitely helps me out greatly.

For us, we found our twins did so much better when there day was scheduled. We actually printed out on a paper the times they were to be fed, the times they were to be put down for naps, back up again, and bedtime (7PM)/wake-up morning time(730-8AM). You just have to aim for within 15-30 minutes of your time schedule. I know for singletons it's different, and most people cringe at the thought of "scheduling" your children. But for us it worked like magic. They were happier, they slept through the night, and naps. Now we did have trouble with the naps at first too. You just have to put them down anyway and if they are not asleep an hour later you get them up. They learn that is their down time. But we had about three days of nap crying before they got used to the idea. Then it was great. They were little angels. They are happy ( no tired/cranky kids), healthy, and my husband and I are sane. :-) Good luck...it will get better!!!
J.

You've already received great advice and encouragement from several other moms, I see. Each child is so different. Remember that growth spurts, teething, and upset tummies can change sleeping habits in a snap. I know that my twins are very active. They are now 3 and are truly living live abundantly! During their first year, all I did was feed one after the other and sleep! The recliner was my friend!

I had great success with setting up a pattern of care. You know: eat, play, rest. We have a set bedtime routine that includes family prayer, snack, then bed. It works wonderfully. The key is the rhythm of having a "routine". This has worked great for all 7 of my kids.

Occasionally, one of the kids will get up in the middle of the night for some reason, but it's rare. The routine really makes the difference.

Hang in there and hug and love those precious little ones. And, remember to find time to laugh every day!

Try putting a radio in the room, with soft music for the night (low).

Sorry to hear how frustrated you are. I have 2 now and a 3rd on the way. 3 yrs old. almost 2 and newborn in Nov. Every child has a diff sleep pattern. I know you read and hear things. You are a good mom. I remember what my sister said to me prior to kids-- Say goodbye to sleep for at least 18 yrs. She has 5. She was 1/2 serious and 1/2 kidding. She meant well. Sometimes they will sleep well and sometimes not. Food sits well or maybe it doesn't. Sometimes we have to see what tolerance or patience we have-- can you hear them cry for more than 2 or 5 minutes? Perhaps 10 minutes and they go down again?
My first liked being rocked and that vibrating thing in the bassinet and crib. My 2nd did not want a thing to do with rocking or anything moving. However she is the one who still wakes up around 3-5 nights a week at almost 2.
Check out www.momsoncall.com ; they are based here in Atl. Give them a call. Nice ladies. I used them-- Laura- prior to my first. The fee is worth it.
I have never been a friend to waking a sleeping baby but it seems some of these twin moms have some good advice too. I know there are sites/blogs/groups for moms of twins. Good luck and blessings! Hang in there. My 3 yr old said to me the other day, " Mom, it is ok. Don't get frustrated." We have to smile bc thank goodness we have them in our lives. Sleepless nights, frustrations and all.

I know this doesn't help, but some kids just aren't good sleepers. I have two children - one 4 1/2 year old daughter and one 5 month old son, and my daughter STILL doesn't regularly sleep through the night. She did not do it one time until she was 18 months old, and even then that was the exception. Now my son, even at 5 months old, has already had many nights that he has slept 7-9 hours in a row. And he really doesn't eat many solids, maybe a jar at dinnertime. So even though this note doesn't help you or give you any tips, I am here to say that you are not doing anything wrong. Some children sleep and some children don't, and that's just how it is, despite all the advice from people whose children do sleep.

F.,
Having twins is wonderful and lots of work. It sounds as if you are doing the right things and received some great advice. I would suggest asking a family member/trustworthy friend to help on a weekend so that you CAN get a good night's sleep with no worries. My mother visited every six weeks for a long weekend to give me a break and much needed rest. One of my twins slept through the night at six months and the other didn't until he was 2-1/2! Getting that break helps ease the frustration and exhaustion. Take care and good luck - things do get better, I promise!

Hi F.. Just remember thst it does not last always! I promise. My Oldest slept through the night very early. Around 2 months old. (I was blessed). HOWEVER, my second (Now 3 1/2 Months) was the complete opposite. She was just a cry baby. I thought I was going to lose it. She started eating cereal early. (She was very greedy, and was drinking to much milk, so the doctor started cereal around 2 months). I thought it would help but it didn't. So, I started to try different options to develop a schedule. She is now in daycare during the day, so by the time she gets home (Around 5:30) she is pooped!! My oldest daughter normally entertains her while I cook. I try not to feed her dinner until around eight. What really turned things around for me....the bath! Everynight at the same time around 7:30, I give her a very nice warm bath, let her play for about 10 to 20 min. Rub her down, then feed her! She has started to get up around 4-6, tossing a little bit, but the pacifier tends to knock her back out. I wish you the best of luck. Just remember that it doesn't last forever! It will got better. All children have milsstones, and diferent ages.

If people are telling you to expect them to sleep through the night at 4 months and then everything will be downhill, then of COURSE you're frustrated! That's NOT typical - I can and will PROVE IT - and anyone telling you to expect that is setting you up for failure. In fact, it's very common for babies who have started sleeping longer stretches at night at 4-5 months to start waking MORE frequently again a few months later. (I don't mean to be discouraging here at all - I think it's worse to have unrealistic expectations and then keep wondering what's wrong with you or with your babies.)

Some information on "normal infant sleep": http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

Here's one tidbit about "normal" infant sleep patterns:
"In one study, part of the Avon Longitudinal Study of Pregnancy and Childhood, researchers surveyed the parents of 640 babies. Some of the results:

* Only 16% slept through the night at 6 months old -- 84% were NOT sleeping through the night at 6 months

* 17% woke more than once per night, ranging from 2 to 8 times

* 5% woke once every night

* 9% woke most nights

* 50% woke occasionally

* 16% of six-month-olds had NO regular sleeping pattern
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The reason humans almost always have singletons (while our dogs might crank out a litter of 8!) is that human babies are HARD WORK. Having a single baby is really hard. Having twins (or more) is more work than we are really designed to be capable of doing, so don't be too hard on yourself. Just keeping your sanity is a full-time job. (And I'm really hoping that this comes across as encouraging.)

I know it's difficult, as I work full time, have 2 kids, and still have to survive on 4 hours of sleep a night in 2 2-hr shifts... it will get better! In the meantime, have you tried: 1) put one of your dirty shirts in the crib/bassinet with them for your scent?; 2) wrap this shirt around a warm water bottle and place beside/between each of them for scent and warmth?; 3) work through the growth spurt with co-sleeping for easier feeding?

Both my children couldn't sleep alone -- I tried the Ferberizing, and many other methods, but in the end, I couldn't allow them to cry until hyperventalating (both did that), so for my sanity, I tried all 3 of the above in varying times/degrees.

Good luck, it's not forever & you're a great mom:)