Getting Twins on a Schedule

Hi A., I feel for you! We have parallel lives! (I have 3 yo son and boy girl 9 months old twins) My twins are now were on the same schedule until about 3 weeks ago. Now all of a sudden, they are totally off kilter. I have tried in the last few days to get them back on schedule by putting them down at the same time, even if one doesn't seem as sleepy, usually they'll both fall asleep, I let the early riser play in the crib as long as (s)he is content for a bit and I have been trying to get them up as close together as possible. Good Luck! We have crazy beautiful lives, sometimes stressful, but would we really change anything?? M.

Hi!!
I have 21 month old twins. I have this problem now! My dd sleeps for an hour and my ds will sleep for 2 or more!! They are only on one nap now...so it can be a long day. It seems as soon as you get some sort of routine going...something changes!!
I would just try to keep them together as much as you can. Also, are you sure your dd won't fall back to sleep? I remember times where one would wake up for a few minutes and whine a little, but would go back to sleep. Try leaving her there for a few minutes and see if she settles back down. Many babies rewake after about 30 minutes...it has something to do w/ the stages of sleep.
Good luck!

Hi A.,

I have a four year old and twin almost 2 year olds. I had the same issue when the twins were younger. I was told by other twin moms that it took until about 9 months to get them on a schedule together. I cringed. This ended up being the case for me though. I ended up choosing some days to just stay home, all day, which was hard but did leave me with contented twins. I chose other days to just take everyone out. I had twins who might or might not be happy, but a then three year old who got to enjoy time with friends or at the park or just out.

Napping did get easier at about 8 or 9 months. They got on a schedule of two naps a day, which they took together. I didn't worry about waking them up sometimes when I wanted the schedule to stick. A friend said that the old maxim, never wake a sleeping baby, didn't always apply to twins. At about 15 or 16 months, I switched them to one nap, which they take together, and is usually 2-3 hours long, which gives me some time with my 4 year old or a short break when she has quiet time.

Best of luck. It does get easier.

C.

A., I have 13 year old triplets, and would love to invite you to join our support group, Keeping Pace with Multiple Miracles www.keepingpace.org We would love to support you and help you to get out of the house and enjoy your babies! Please call ###-###-####, we are located in West Bridgewater and you can come and visit us anytime, we have on-going support/play-groups! -P. Pace

Hi A.:

I have almost 5 month old twins who are going to the SAME thing right now. They were on the exact same sleep schedule until about 3 weeks ago then all TWINS broke loose.

Do you feed them both at the same time? I have been keeping their feedings on the same schedule but like yours, mine have different sleep patterns right now. As hard as it is, I usually just let them do their thing and if I have to go out then I gently wake the sleeping one and off we go. I figure 1 cranky baby is better than 2 cranky babies. Basically, while I let them get plenty of sleep, I make their day fit into MY priorities for the day. The only schedule I really work around is their feeding schedule.

It can feel very suffocating and overwhelming if you get the tag-teamed feeling. I think by just making mine tag along, they've become used to it and more readily go with the flow and the crankiness that I had in the beginning has gotten much better. One other thing I do plan is for long rides (we travel to the Cape and Maine quite often) by feeding them, etc. then heading out right after the feeding.

My suggestion is feed them at the same time and plan your schedule around feeding (not sleeping). It's not a perfect system, but it has been working out so far for my twins.

Keep us (or me) posted. I'd love to chat more if you'd like.

Take care,

R.

Hi A....
I was in a similar situation. I had a 2 1/2yr old when my twins born. starting at about 8 weeks, I was able to get them on a schedule.
I feed them at the same time. (yes I breast fed) when one got up, I woke the other. I put them both down at the same time for a nap. I did this for a little over a week, and it worked. During this time, I didn't go out. After that, I was able to schedule time with my friends, and not feel guilty.
Hope this helps...
K.

I have 16 month old twins and it is REALLY hard! I was in your same position not too long ago- When my boys nap or even when they get up in the morning I wake the longer sleeper within a half hour of the other one getting up- it seems awful at first but they learn to take naps at the same time if you do it consistently- I think they were sleeping for 3-4 naps at that stage. I also didn't keep them up for more than 2 hours after they ate- one other thing... mine are in 2 different rooms and that helps too! So the lesson is....just wake one at roughly the same time as the other so they STAY TOGETHER- It is the ONLY way to survive!!! You can do it!

Well my boy/girl twins are 3 months old and believe me I feel the same sometimes. There are dayas when I have app.or need to get out of the houde my boy is easygoing but my girl is very touchy so if shes awake (which she is the one who usually is) I will get out then. Somedays I just say tomyself the world doesnt stop because their fussy I sometime let her fuss or cry it out for a bit. I do swear that my girl just wants to make sure she still has her voice box but I think that it might just be a girl thing. Hope this helps

I feel for you! I have a friend who has two set of twins and seems to be on such a beautiful schedule with them. I truly don't know how she does it. I do know that there are twin support groups out there. In the Merrimack Valley the Mother Connection has a very involved twin group (my friend is very involved in that.) So...if you can get the girls out of the house for that it might be a huge relief to you!! At least they all know what you are going through and could give you tips on what to do.

Good luck and congrats!!

H. (mom of three boys 4 1/2, 3 1/2 and 11 months old)

I don't have twins so I can't really say if it makes a difference but I would suggest just really trying to put them down at the same time together everyday. Try to make sure everyday is the same routine (have all the meals at the same time, etc.) and I would think that eventually they'll see what's going on and they'll adapt. If one wakes up earlier, let them stay in their bed a little longer (that is if they're not screaming) and then wake the other one up a little earlier. They should start to meet in the middle after a while. Again, I don't have experience with twins, I'm just trying to go by what I did with my one child to get her on a schedule so we would know when was safe to be out of the house for a couple hours.
Good luck and don't give up!

Hi A.,
I don't have twins. I have 3 boys who are past naps at this point. I think having twins is very demanding, by itself and having a 3 year old is busy too. I would think it would be hard to leave the house too. Maybe if you need to go somewhere, you could have a babysitter come to your house. That might work better for you. If you are trying to go run errands, I would try to wake up before the kids, get yourself ready and get the things ready that you need to bring with you, diaper bag, grocery list, errand list, mail, whatever..... the night before. Also, pick out their clothes the night before. Then, get everyone dressed and fed and put them in the car. I would go to the closest place first or wherever it is you need to go. Then put the kids in the stroller. If they fall asleep then go to the place that is farthest away on your list. Maybe you could also ask someone to go with you. The other thing you can do is run your errands when Dad gets home. As soon as he comes in, just take an hour to yourself to go do some errands or go for a walk. You will need some time to yourself. I think everything will get easier in some ways when they take one nap a day. Hopefully, if it is in the afternoon, then you can go out with them in the morning. You could also call a local school and see if there are any teens looking for a summer job, and hire someone to be a mother's helper for a few hours a couple of days a week. You could be with that person until you are comfortable that you could run out to do an errand. I hope these suggestions help. Good luck!

I hear your pain!!I am also homebound. My boy/girl twins are now 23mts and it's not easy. I had the same problem and what I had to do was put them both down together, if one woke up then I got the other up. I continued to do it for about a week or so .
I saw at that time that they got on a somewhat schedule I believe it was about a 15min or so difference that they would wake up, if not at the same time. hope that helps.
take care
S. o

Hi A.,
My twin baby girls are 7 months old and they have never been on the same daily schedule. That is thier choice. One is an early riser the other is a night owl. Not to play the devils advocate here from all the other great advice you have gotten but if you resolve yourself (like I have) to realizing that these 'opposite' schedule they are on give you such wonderful one-on-one time with each baby than there is not really a whole lot of stuff outside of the house, errands, etc. that is more important than that. My twins are becoming best of friends but they are still such individuals. Foster that. I own the pizza place in our town and went from working over 100 hours a week to being a stay at home mom. My work load is still pretty incredible but you'd be amazed at what still can get done in those windows of time during the day at home. When I have to do things outside of the house then the girls get their one-on-one time with daddy. My husband is a builder during the day but then is building our own home at night. Our plate is full but just let your children lead the way and they'll take away your stress. Giggles are like medicine to moms!!!
Hope this helps.
L.