Need to Wean 12 Month Old of Late Night Bottle

Updated on December 18, 2007
J.H. asks from Burlington, VT
16 answers

Hi Moms! So, I am trying to wean my just turned 12 month old daughter from the bottle. It has been surprisingly easy except for the 2-3 a.m. bottle. At this point she only drinks milk from a cup throughout the day with her meals (about 8 oz/day) and gets 4 oz of milk in a bottle at bedtime. I don't really have an issue with her keeping the bedtime bottle. She just started agreeing to hold it herself while being cuddled and I would like her to switch it to a cup soon, but other than that she can drink a cup of milk during story time till she's 30 if she wants! haha!
The problem is that late night bottle. I am currently giving her 1 scoop of formula with 4 oz of water. I don't want to giver her milk because I don't want her to make that association. She is so hooked on this midnite bottle that she will just cry and cry and carry on if I don't give it. And, at that hour I am so tired, it's just easier to give in then to stay up all night. Also, I feel terribly guilty letting her cry. Her pedi told me point blank that if I can't come to terms with letting her cry it out for about a week or so that she will never give it up willingly on her own. She said she has patients as old as 5+ still getting a midnight bottle! We have another baby coming in May and I CANNOT be up with both of them at night! So, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am so uncomfortable with letting her cry it out. Has anyone had success with another method?? Or, has anyone had success overcoming the guilt thing? If I can't convince myself to not feel guilty, I know I won't stick with it and that will make things even worse!
Thanks in advance for your help!!

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C.

answers from Providence on

Hi J.
Try switching to water, hand her the bottle then leave the room. I had a similar problem with my daughter. I then switched to putting the bottle in the top corner of the crib when we put her to bed, that way she knows it's there and can get it herself. When we got rid of bottle we switched it over to a leak proof sippy cup. At this point my daughter is almost 5 and she still likes having a cup of water on her nightstand in case she gets thirsty in the middle of the night. Fortunately she doesn't have problems with wetting the bed.
Good luck,
C.

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J.G.

answers from Hartford on

How about giving her a bottle of water to keep in her crib? She wont have teeth decay issues if its water! Just a thought... this will only work if it really is the bottle she wants... good luck!

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C.P.

answers from Boston on

First of all I wanted to commend you on wanting to wean your daughter from the night bottle. One of the reasons weaning is important is to prevent tooth decay. In this respect, it would also be important to think about weaning her from the bedtime milk bottle also unless you are brushing her teeth b/w that bottle and bedtime. Chances are she has teeth in her mouth at this age and you want to prevent decay. A tooth can get decayed as soon as it erupts in the mouth. I am a pediatric dentist and see many patients who come to my office for the first time at 3 years old who have rampant decay everywhere and multiple infectious teeth.

I agree with all the responses you have received except for replacing it with water. Please do not do that!! On many levels, that does not accomplish what you are trying to do. Your daughter will enjoy the taste of the sweet juice and not want to give it up. Juice, even 100% juice, is very cavity-causing!!

Good luck. Better to do this before your son arrives so that it does not cause a fuss in your household while he is trying to sleep.

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K.C.

answers from Springfield on

hopefully i can help a little...my son at 13 months finally gave up ating in the night...but well he just replaced it with some cuddling. he gave up the bottle on his own actualy we just went in and put him back to sleep, and each night pushed a little further back and he really didnt mind....does she want the bottle and wont settle for cuddling or are you trying to not let her have eithier...i know i will get ostrisized but i dont believe it letting children cry it out....i know it works for some people and i am happy for them, it just doesnt work with me. i guess i am probably not helpful, my son(18 months) still wakes up each night, and needs help resettling, and i too am expecting my second child in april. i was hoping to only have to have one at night child but i guess that isnt how it worked for me!!!!!

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E.D.

answers from Boston on

You could give a smaller amount for a few nights and if she takes a paci, give that to her and put her back to bed. We did cry it out at 6 months and it worked in 4 nights- I am sure it would take longer at 12 months but may be worth it. if you commit to it though you have to see it through. I don't think it is wrong at all to do!

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T.C.

answers from Barnstable on

I have an 8 month old and havent had to go thru the this just yet but I have read in a few books that you can feed her the bottle gradually earlier and earlier until eventually it becomes that before bed bottle. I have a hard time with the "cry it out" method also but had to do it to get more than 4 hours sleep at a time (when lucky). My experience with it was that it only took one really bad night and a few shorter crying nights until it was better. Also, maybe you could feed her a little more before bed? Or try a passafier in the middle of the night.
I wish you well!

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A.L.

answers from Boston on

I agree with your pedi. However, make sure she's not teething. I say this because my daughter use to wake in the middle of the night and I thought she wanted a bottle but the whole time a bottle provided her with comfort and relief of pain and discomfort. Now, her molar teeth are coming through and a bottle doesn’t help at all, Motrin is my hero. Just make sure she's not waking because she's in pain.
If she's not teething, I would have to say get rid of that midnight feeding...mommy needs her sleep ;-)

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D.B.

answers from Springfield on

Hi J. I had the same probablem getting my little one off that late night bottle, so the doctors had me change the bottle to a spill sproff sippy cup and fill it with water and don't give anything else in that cup then they learn that is the one they get for bed time and they keep it with them so when they wake they drink them selfs, and within time they will get rid of it completely because water bores them. THe first couple nights they will cry for a little bit but you have to let them know that they will get nothing else.

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R.D.

answers from Boston on

My now 20 month son was over a year when he weened himself off his late night bottle. When he was ready he just did it on his own. If it's too much on you and your ready to stop it now-what about trying to give a bottle of water as the late night feeding. Or first diluted milk and then go to water. Maybe she'll stop crying for it if it's not as yummy ;) It can also get her used to not getting the calories at that time as well. I also give yogurt right before bedtime to my son. Maybe that helps keep him fuller longer.

Congrats on baby #2! My second is due on May 5th as well!

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

First of all I am not sure what to say because my daughter stopped getting up for the middle of the night bottle by 6 months....and after her 1st birthday we gave up bottles completely and she was great. I however am not a mother who feels guilty about letting her cry. Why should I feel guilty about saying no to something that I know is not best for her....its like telling your toddler no when they want something that isn't good for them.....by 1 year old they have teeth and that formual sitting on their teeth in the middle of the night is not good for them. Also I had read many things that said that up until 6 months you can't spoil a baby, but after that point they learn how to get what they want. I am willing to bet that all she really wants is that midnight cuddle, not so much the bottle. If you obsolutely can't let her cry I would suggest switching her bottle to water. First of all, its far better for her to have water in the middle of the night then formula....second, she may decide she doesn't like it as much and may decide to give it up all together. Not to sound harsh because I know we all do what we think is best for our children, but its never to early to show them who the parent is and take a stand in doing whats best for them.

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L.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't think we should be faced with a situation where we have to overcome guilt...I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that a pediatricion would recommend letting your child cry. I think these formitive years are so important, that meeting their needs as they express them is critical to the child developing a sense of safety, so they can eventually become independent. I don't think there is much that is convenient for the parents in the first years, so a middle of the night feeding might be difficult, the sleep deprivation might be painful, but I just don't believe it's natural to let a child cry because we want them to stick to a schedule that is convenient for US. That guilty feeling? I think that's your natural, biological instinct to take care of your child. Follow your gut - you know how to care for your baby better than anyone else. And don't forget to ask for help with the overnight baby-duty! Maybe a post-partum doula would be of some help to you, so you can get some rest.
I hope this was helpful and not too soap-boxy!

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

I weaned my 10 month old from a late night nursing by following the advice in the Ferber book - I got up the first night and timed the feeding (7 minutes). Then on each subsequent night I nursed for one minute less. I was sure on the 1 minute night that he would go nuts on me, but he didn't. Then the next night he slept through. That went really well and the late night feedings never started up again. (Don't ask me about my success - or lack thereof - in getting him to go to bed in the first place.... still working on that one 3 years later.) I don't know if with a bottle you might try the technique by time or ounces or some combo, but I thought I'd throw it out there for you.

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B.L.

answers from Springfield on

Have you tried just diluting it slowly until there's just no taste to it? Or maybe replacing it with something easy in case she still has it when the newborns arrive? Maybe juice?
She should start sleeping straight thru pretty soon anyway so maybe it won't come to a test of wills. 5 months achieve wonders in the growth of a baby. I don't recall having a problem when mine were that small. But then i probably slept thru most of it and don't remember doing it. Lol.

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D.H.

answers from Hartford on

I would agree with your doctor. They say that it takes 3 nights to break a habit. The first night will be the worst, and then the other two nights should get easier. The other thing that you could try is to give her less and less in the bottle, and see if she'll wean off it that way. I would have to say that she isn't waking up because she is hungry, she is waking up out of habit, if that makes you feel less guilty when she is crying.

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C.E.

answers from Boston on

My son, now 14 months, never slept through the night since birth. Well, maybe a few nights. I'd say maybe 20 nights since the day he was born. So he would always have a bottle in the middle of the night. I used to hold him and rock him until he fell alseep. I would whisper in his ear, sing, rock side to side, and bounce while rubbbing his back. This way I didn't have to hear the crying. Plus, my 6 year old daughter who sleeps in the room next door is in first grade and she needs her sleep. I also just tried giving my son 2 or 3 crackers with a cup of milk before bed to help keep his tummy full. He has been sleeping through the night ever since. Oh and, don't put her to bed right after eating. Of course do the usual bed time story, brush her teeth. I'd say wait at least 20 min before putting her down. If you try I hope this works. Good luck

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

Well, First let me say you have no reason to feel guilty about letting her cry, It is so important for children to learn how to soothe themselves. I know it's so hard to do, but it really is good for her in so many areas!! some ideas that you could do if cold turkey won't cut it for you try watering down the bottle til it's just water- much better for her teeth, too! Or, perhaps trade her a bottle for a special lovey. She doesn't need the nourishment at night, it's really all about comfort for her. Next, you might try ear plugs for you!! I wish you the best of luck, perhaps if you keep in mind the future with two babies and your own sanity that will help! Keep in mind they do regress a bit when another baby comes a long so the sooner the better! Happy Holidays!

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