Need Ideas for Behavior Chart

Hi C.,

As a therapist, much of my work is with children and families. I love token economies. It is not about bribing but how to best recognize the positives in children and to reinforce those wonderful behaviors. I do have a few examples in my office that you can tweak for various ages. I am happy to fax over to you. You can also get to me through my link. S. A. K., MFT

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/S.-A-K.-Marriag...

Charts and positive reinforcements are a GREAT idea!!! It's how the real world works! Grown ups don't go to work out of the goodness of their hearts, they get paid for them and most jobs even give bonuses for work done well. So that being said the options for behavior charts are endless! I would stick to one behavior that you would like to change at a time, and be specific. Not "be good", but maybe focusing on getting along with a sibling or following directions. Whatever is the most annoying for you. Then you can make a chart for stickers or use something like a marble jar. I loved the marble jar with my kindergarteners! They really liked the noise that the marbles made when we dropped them in. Your daughter could actually add the marbles when she does what she's supposed to! If you decide on a chart and don't feel like making your own they sell them at teacher supply stores and at some staples or walmart.

As far as moody behavior, just a suggestion, my daughter is 2 and we have had a rough time with her moods, so we have a chair in our house that is her happy chair. It's a big comfy chair and it's where she goes when she's sad and she has to stay there until she's happy. It works most of the time. You could also designate a room in the house as a happy room and she could go there until she's done with her "mood". whatever you decide good luck!!!!

what's wrong with charts? they're visual which is great for positive reinforcement, and you're planning to use it in a positive way not a negative one. i think it's great.
khairete
S.

I've started a new system at our house. We use a point system at our house.
They have a whole list of things they can get points for. From making their beds, brushing their teeth, telling the truth, being nice, picking up toys , etc. They points range from 2-10 for each thing. And I give on the spot rewards for being good or doing something nice. We use poker chips for points , when they earn them I give them to them when they are done with the job and they put them in a jar , at the end of the day we count them up. They can use their points for trips to the movie ( 50 pts) or extra computer time ( 25pts per 30 mins) or even save their points up and get an allowance.
If they want to get toys they have to save their allowance $ we no longer buy them toys unless it's Christmas or birthdays.
We've been using it for about a month now and it's been working really well for about the past two weeks. It took a couple of weeks for them to really start earning enough points. It helps if you have a goal to start with , like the first week their goal was to earn 50pts so they could go see Toy Story 3.
The token system has worked better than any other system we've ever tried.

Hi there, we use the penny system for my 4 year old son. It really seems to work for him. Everytime he does something like , share with his brother, listen the 1st time being asked to do something, saying please and thank you etc. He gets a penny. He loves seeing his penny jar grow. Once the penny jar is full he can claim his prize. Last time it was a bubble machine and now he is saving for walkie talkies. (it does take him a week or two to fill the jar) When he is bad we take a penny. So far he has only lost a couple. :)

We have used these off and on at home. We just make one out of paper and use stickers. It does really help and they are a great tool to help children learn to set goal and to achieve them.

What we did with our children was to give them tickets. We would define the behavior that we wanted to stop, say whining. Then we would give our son 3 tickets that we would clip together and post in a prominent location. The first time he whined, he would lose a ticket and have to go in time out for a short period of time. The second time, he would have to go to his room for a longer period of time. If he lost the 3rd ticket, he would have to spend the rest of the day in his room. He could only come out for bathroom and meals. We have made them eat dinner in their rooms. If they have any tickets left over at the end of the day, you could use each one as a privilege - say 15 minutes of computer or TV time. Then, you start over again the next day with the 3 tickets. Do not use more than 3 tickets in a day - it gives the child too many chances. When we have done this, we haven't had to use it for long. Kids really hate it, especially if they know you will follow through on it. It is important to be really unemotional about the ticket loss - "You were whining and so that will cost you a ticket." It got to where if their behavior would decline, all I would have to do would be to threaten to use the ticket system again and they would straighten up. This is also a useful tool if your daughter misbehaves in public.

Good luck!

I just responded to another post about discipline. Here is what worked for us. The discipline strategy defined in the book is chart based.

Please read the book Smart Discipline by Larry Koenig. The book is enjoyable and very easy to read. It completely changed how we approach discipline in our family. Once we implemented the strategy outlined in the book, we saw definite improvements in the behavior of my two children. Truly lifesaving for our family! Good luck!

Also. check out their website for tons of more information! The website sells the entire program (dvds, workbooks etc.) online, but I was able to check the book out of the library, attend a free seminar locally and print the charts off of their website.

smartdiscipline.org
smartdiscipline.com

I think this is a GREAT idea! I think you are right in showing when she is doing the RIGHT thing. Reward good behavior and not remind of bad. I think that you can find charts with magnets that you can sort of make shift into what you want it to be but they might be costly. Do you have a dry erase board? You can draw your own and have her draw a check or smiley when she does something right. Or just make one up on your word program on your computer and just buy stickers. Good luck!!

Check "How to Talk so Kids will Listen" out from your library. It's an easy read, has comics and summaries. It's chock full of great information that tweaks what you're doing just a bit so that a four year old (and other kids) will "buy " it.

Fours are very very often overstaters, threat makers and ultimatum thrower-outers. It's a developmental stage and it helps not to take their statements literally.

Otherwise, be sure she eats well, gets rest and lots of exercise to use up her energy so it doesn't get channeled into being defiant.

I'm not a chart person, but if I did use one, I would absolutely have my four year old agree to whatever system was on there. It would be worth the time and negotiation - otherwise I would be setting myself up for just another flavor of the same battles.

We use a marble jar... which is similar.

In the beginning I broke the day into segments. If kiddo didn't lose his temper (aka put himself on timeout before he lost it, or didn't get angry at all)... he got 2 marbles for that segment. If he STARTED to lose his temper, but got himself under control quickly, he got 1 marble. If he lost his temper and threw a fit, 0 marbles. At the end of each segment is when he'd put his marbles in it.

Also, for ***random*** good behavior (meaning not every time), I'd tell him to go put a marble in his jar.

He chose a BIG prize for when the marble jar was all the way full. (His jar holds about 800 marbles, come to find... I didn't think it was THAT big... but I kept having to buy more marbles, and Santa even dropped off 8 25 marble bags for xmas). The little daily prizes were just getting to put the marbles (plink, plink, plink) in the jar. We keep it on the kitchen counter. It took about a year an a half... but at the end we went to a waterpark hotel. (He was on the fence for the whole year as to whether to go on a seaplane ride or the waterpark).

As we went on, the day's segments went longer and longer... so that by the time he filled his jar up it was just in 2 segments. In school & not in school