Need Help with Potty Training

When she does go poop in the diaper tell her to come with you and actually throw the poop from the diaper in the toilet and let her see that is it okay to go in the toilet. Good Luck.

You are already doing the exact right thing. Loose the bribe, but otherwise just be patient- she'll go eventually. And ten minutes is plenty of time for her, too. If she doesn't go by then there's no reason to make either of you wait longer.

All I can say is... this too shall pass. Jusst let her know that she can use the potty directly for pooping at any time and this is what she will do when she is a big girl. I went through the same thing for A SOLID YEAR before she just one day decided that this was the day. Don't stress about it too much. It sounds like she has a pretty good plan (rather than pooping into her panties).

I had the same issue with my son. I didn't let him put on a diaper when he had to poop. This led to a few days of no bms, and the resulting stomach ache. Finally (and with the help of prunes, grapes and other such foods) he decided to poop on the potty. He still doesn't do it at daycare. But he has learned that pooping on the potty can delay bedtime. So now he enjoys spending 1/2 hour there before bed. Not the ideal situation, but it works for us because my 9 mo. old is already asleep at that time, so we can linger. He also likes to be told or read stories while he's sitting.

We all want our little ones to be potty trained ASAP. As a preschool teacher, I have seen all ages between two and three put up a struggle with this. Our preschool is one of the few that actually accepts children who are not potty trained, so I get to be the one who helps train them. My biggest word to you is to stay calm about it. Don't let her see that you really want her to be completely potty trained. It will become a battle of the wills if she sees your concern. Praise her when she succeeds, encourage sitting on the potty (but unless she is actually going, don't have her sit for more that three minutes). If candy rewards don't work for her, maybe a favorite type of toy or a new crayon each time might work. Provide opportunities, stay relaxed, and know that it will happen -- soon! Even if she is 3 1/2 before it happens, that will come faster than you know it. Once she is completely potty trained, you'll look back and think to yourself, "Why was I ever worried." I have a four-year-old who was totally potty trained at 3yrs. 2mo. I am entering the training stages with my 2 1/2 year old now. I'm not pushing, but encouraging. I have heard of some people pushing and having it backfire (holding BMs in and getting ill from it), so be careful.

Hi J. P,

I was in the doctors office just yesterday and there was an article in Parents Mag. about this very thing. The advice they had was to move the potty out of the bathroom, so she feels more comfortable if she needs to sit for a long period of time, this way you can be with her. It even said to let her go in her diaper but she may sit on the potty.

Hope this helps,

D.

Both my children asked for a pull up for about 6 to 8 months after they were completely "pee trained". They just weren't ready to put the poop in the toilet. No worries, one day they just told me they don't want the diaper anymore. L-

Hello. Well...I am not quiet sure if my advice will be of any use to you because i have yet to do any potty "training". But from reading your message, a couple of things came up. If she "pee trained" on her own (meaning it was more of her initiative to pee in the potty then it was yours) - then i would guess she would do the same with poo. I would just keep doing what you are doing and give her the 10 minutes each time. I wouldn't rush or bribe or expect anything. Just sit there and reasure her. Just tell her that if she is ready she can go ahead and poo in the potty, if not then you'll go back to the diaper. Tell her that you are proud of her for being such a big girl and for being so independant. Also, ask her if she wants some privacy (she may do better without you there) or if she will feel better with having a diaper on the bottom of the potty (for reasurance at first).
I hope this gives you something to go off of.
And good luck :)
-fai

Hi J.;

All we have to do is be patient, and every child is different from other child. She might take a long time to train her mind to stop using diaper and started to sit in her toilet. Maybe you train her to negotiate with her what she likes to do or go, then take it from there. Tell your daughter if she wanted to go anywhere she like to go, she has to be sit on her toilet then you will take her. Sometimes bribe them will work. Good luck.

A.

Hi J.. I've been dealing with the same thing (2.5 year old daughter). I have heard from several people that this is very normal for girls. My niece pooped in a pull-up for about a year before she was ready for the potty. Not sure why it's so common with girls but know that you're not alone. My ped said to not push the training and just let her have the pull-up for a while. I did this for the last 3-4 months. When she would ask for the pull-up, I would just say "are you sure that you don't want to try the potty". Even though she said no, it still reminded her that one day that would happen. Anyway, we finally saw a break through last week. She has went on the potty for a week now. Hang in there. If you let her have the "win" with the diaper for a while, she'll probably go on her own soon. Good luck!

Sounds like she's just not ready for that hurdle, she will let you know when she is ready. The poop factor does take longer to accomplish. If she's in any type of class with other kids, that helps too, if she sees that they poop in the bathroom, it may motivate her too. I'd let her be for the moment and maybe try again later so it doesn't become a "thing".

J.,
Take a deep breath momma this is one of many hurdles and unfortunately it's not aways on your timing. Each child is an individual and if you start stressing about it then it will become a huge problem. Take a few steps back and remember that she has a lot of time ahead of her and learning under stressful situations will not be the example you want to give her. The video "It's Potty Time" was a big winner in my house and we also made a chart for a small reweard of outing as the timing became right for the child. I have three and each one had a different take on the potty game. Best of Luck.

J.... Just a beautiful name....A for the Poop thing..its been awhile, But to me it seems like yesterday, i just turned into a grandma. So pee trained""YAY"" I had always given(all 5 of my kids) a fruit that made there bowel soft...in the MAYOR OLD DAYS we used choclate(shhh x-lax) ever so tineyand did the role play of trying to poo,grunting, then the game of "Stop!!!!" then Repet grunting....and she for real will grunt with power and possible a poop!
Good luck..let me know . And ask if any questions-Lynn

I told my daughter that poo poo likes to go on the water ride (being flushed) and then she was excited to be the one to give them the ride! When we flushed, we said "Wheee! By poo poo! Have fun poo poo!" She thought the whole thing was very amusing. You can also do this with the poo from her diaper - just dump it in the potty and let your daughter be the one to flush.

Good luck!

I started charting the timing of pee and poop in relation with the food and water intake first. Then I started sitting my son on the potty right about the time he would pee or poop. Read a book, sing a song, and tell a story. Not successful all the time especially at first. No fuss on unsucessful sitting, but a nice celebration on sucessful sitting. I sat him on the potty also immediately after pee or poop on training pants. He was poop trained pretty fast. It could have been because we used cloth diaper and it was not very comfortable for him to have poop in it. It took a while to completely accident free from pee, but I think it is common for boys. I suppose girls are bit different. My tip is to stay calm and ignore other adults who pushes you into potty training your girl. When she is ready, she will be ready. My parents are Japanese and they used to bug me about not having my son potty trained at age 1! Forget about it. Our children have their own pace.

Dear J.,

You know that she knows the feeling when she asks for a diaper when she wants to poop. So, she is working on it. Remember, she is only a 2 and 1/2 year old little person. She will do it , just be patient. Maybe buy a small potty chair that sits on the floor near the big toilet and she can go in there when she feels the urge. C. N.

Been there. It'll happen when she's ready. Don't waste your time; she'll sit down on her schedule.
It helps if she sees you model your toilet time with everything it involves.
Good luck

J.,
I went through the EXACT same thing and almost fell off my chair when my pediatrician told me how lucky I was that my son brought me the diaper and wipes when he wanted to poop. I wasn't feeling lucky. He said that the entire experience is a control thing. I introduced a 1/2 birthday to him and told him that he had to use the potty for everything at that point.... he got used to the idea and then the day after he was 3 1/2 he called me into the potty to tell me he was done... all on his time. If you push things it can backfire. If you have a little one and she's trying to get you sitting down for 10 minutes with her, my guess is it's a control thing too - just like our situation (his little sister was 25 mo. younger). My only major warning is that my niece went through a period of trying to hold it in and not go - that is hands down the worst thing and she had a painful year and 2 specialists to deal with it. SO I'd definitely opt for a diaper change over that experience.

Hi J.,
I recommend this DVD to any parent. It's called, "Potty Power" It's a great learning tool because kids are singing in it and learning how to 'wipe' themselves after going 'poop' and it also shows the importance of washing your hands after going potty. It's a great DVD, my son easily remembered the songs they sing.
You can probably find it at your local library or buy it online.

Happy Potty Training :)

leave her naked since you are staying at home. don't give her a diaper when she wants to poop - put her on the potty

Well, my daughter was fully pee trained at 2.5 also, but didn't do the poop thing until she was over three. She was terrified of going poop on the potty. What I did with her was slowly give her more rules with goiing poop. At first, she would tell me when she had to go and we would put a pull-up on and she'd hide somewhere to go and then find me to have me change her when she was done. Then, I made her start standing in the bathroom when she had to go so she could no longer hide. After a few weeks of that, I started making her put on her own pull-up and stand in the bathroonm to go. She didn't like that I was giving her more and more responsibility. Finally, I made her pt on her own pull-up, stand in the bathroom, and start changing out of her own pull-up and wiping herself up on her own. She HATED that, and although it was a messy lesson, I think it only took three times of that, and she was over it. She was ready to try putting it in the potty. She was very scared the first time, but after she finally did it, she immediately saw how much easier it was then having to put on a pull-up, sit in the bathroon, and wipe herself. She was stoked! Of course, I was too :)

J.,
First everyone has given some good advice from movies, to bribery, to rewarding....bottom line is "in due time". The biggest mistake anyone can make while potty training is trying to make it happen when the child is not ready and there is no right age but when you and your child decide it's time which your lil girl has then consistency and the purchasing of pull ups STOPS. When you put that pull up on you are telling her it's okay and it's not. If she poops on herself, so be it. Tell her it's not very compfortable and that she really needs to do poop on the toilet. You will have to wash a lot of undies but the message is clear if you do not like to have poop on your bottom then it goes in the toilet. This worked for all five of my kids, save your money and I used the gerber undies with the plastic covering to minimize having to change her pants. Good luck.

Hi J.,

This is not about not knowing how to tell when she has to go, it is about preference. There is something about the doing it in the potty that is not working for her. I would give her the problem. Suppose, you says you had a daughter and... make sure you tell her that you know how smart she is and that you are sure that she will come up a solution way better than any one you could think of. Ask her what she would do. Chances are you will tell you the solution to the problem. Then again tell her smart she is and how you plan to follow her directions exactly and how you never could have solved this without her help (a true statement!). The problem is that for her to be smart, her solution will have to work--even if she doesn't want it to. So she is stuck and the best way out is to make the solution work.

This works on a range of problems. Let me know if you try it and if works for you. I would love to hear her solution.

Hi J. - When I was potty training my daughter I bought her a special piggy bank with her name on it. Anytime she went pee she got a quarter, but with teh chanllenging poop I would give her a dollar. Having that special place to place the money and then the idea of picking out somthing with it got her going pee and poop. Hope this helps, good luck.

Do you approve of DVDs? I was in a similar situation that lasted until my daughter was 3.5! My doctor suggested putting her on the loo regularly after a meal. We chose right after dinner. DVDs are a treat in our house, so I used that. I set up a portable DVD, left her ALONE for 20 minutes, and Magic! It worked. It is still our method today and now my daughter is 4.5. I edit the selection of DVDs. Little Bear is a great choice if you are particular about DVD watching.

I have no idea if this is something everyone else will think I was crazy to do but I finally told my son (who was doing something very similar) that I expected him to use the toilet and that he'd get a privilege taken away if he didn't use #2 in the toilet. After loosing the ability to watch any of his DVD's for 3 days he changed his mind. I did this a few times and then it was so obviously easy he realized the diaper was not necessary anymore. Good luck.

We had the EXACT same thing going on. At 27 months my son decided after using the little potty sometimes that he would use the Big potty exclusively. He began using the potty all the time and wearing big boy underwear during the day and never had an accident. BUT, he would not poop on either the baby potty or the regular toilet. He would always ask for a pullup to do his business. At first I did what you did, but then realized he wasn't going to go unless I put a pullup on. I let him do this and continued asking him if he wanted to use the potty to poop - but he still didn't want to. After 3 months of this, when he was 2.5 I finally broke through. We went to the toy store together and i let him pick out 5 really great toys that he really wanted. I explained to him that he couldn't have these to play with until he went poop on the potty. They were his Poop Presents! We talked about it alot, showed him the toys, and then finally one day when he had to go, I convinced him to sit on the potty to go and put one of the toys in front of him while he did it and he FINALLY went! Just going one time and realizing that it wasn't scary made the big difference. We made a HUGE deal about how proud we were. After the toys ran out, I started a Super Duper Pooper chart and let him put stickers on the chart every time he went. It totally worked. I think sometimes they just aren't ready - even though we are! :) It'll happen, I promise. Also what helped was explaining that his friends and his cousin, etc...all pooped in the potty too. And I let him use the little potty again until he was comfortable with that before moving him onto the big potty.
Good luck!

Hi there,
I also have a stubborn 2 year old girl. Love her to pieces 'cause she's just like me (= What I did, that was hard at first but worked better than anything was to put my daughter in regular cotton underwear. I knew she had the concepts down, she would go on the toilet when asked or I knew I had given her liquid an hour before, but like your daughter was not motivated to use the toilet. Until the cotton panties. It took her having 1 or 2 accidents in her real (princess, dora, get whatever her favorite character) underwear that made her realize that going potty in your panties is icky. There was one time I knew she was just testing to see if I'd get fed up with the mess- and I let her stay in her mess about 5 or 10 minutes. After that, completely potty trained. But I had to be consistent and not go back to diapers after that. It sounds like your daughter is ready for cotton underwear, and will very quickly get the idea as long as you're consistent.
Also, let her watch you potty. Tell her what a big girl you both are and that the baby can't be a big girl and wear pretty panties. This will show her she doesn't need to act like a baby to get lots of positive attention. Worked for me (= Good Luck!

My son did the same thing, evenually when he was three, I said no more diaper. He held it and pooped once in his pants. Then when he could not hold it anymore his mother in law got him on the toilet right on time for him to say "I don't want to" He went and ran in the room adn said I went poop and nothing happened and ever since then he has gone in the toilet. Bribing did not work either. Just give it some time or you can jus tnot put a daiper on her. I just had to put my foot down. Hope it works out.

Put the diaper on her and when shes ready she will tell you. All of mine were 3 when fully trained and I never had a wet bed. I dont believe in pushing the child...no two are the same.

My daughter did the exact same thing. Finally I asked the doctor and she gave me the best advice. She said give her the diaper but make her go into the bathroom (anywhere in the bathroom not on the toilet) to poop in the diaper. Tell her this is where we go to the bathroom. After a short time of getting used to going poop in the bathroom, she was ready to try the toilet. Hope this helps.

Our daughter was pee trained at 2 but would bring a diaper to me to poop in...I couldn't even bribe her with anything. She just had to decide that it was time...She did go a couple of times on the big toilet but wouldn't do the change still. Finally, after watching a couple of cartoons like Caillou and various ones with her favorite characters using the big toilet she just decided to be a "big girl" and use the toilet instead of wearing a diaper. She had started pre school and had watched other children use the toilet and not wear a diaper. Hope this helps...I guess, she'll do it when she's ready.

Hi J.,I know what your going through.My daughter was exactly the same until five days ago.She is almost six now.Don't despair ,you and her are not alone with this problem.My daughter did actually go a couple of times when she was two ,but she did not like the water in the toilet.It splashed her bottom .I tried everyday ,asking her if she was ready to sit on the potty.I would ask for advice and always get the same two responces.One was not to push her ,she won't be going to the alter in dipers,while others were less sympathetic and say not to give in too this.I got her out of the dipers and onto the little potty by saying her dipers were to small ,and I let her use them for her doll.Then she didn;t want to sit on the little potty,but she would sit on the waste basket,that i would put a liner in.This is what she preferred,so I of course went for it.I guess I don't have the answer ,but maybe try and find out why,and work with it.I covered the water in the toilet with some toilet paper,and I think being almost six years old she was really ready. I just know your not alone ,and know two more families who had the same problem with ther children,and they are all siiting on Mr. Big potty now.Good Luck!L. R

Your very lucky that she ask for a diaper. My daughter was pee trained at 2.5 also but for 6 months would find the same spot in the house that she would squat in and she would poop in her panties. I started picking her up and running her to the toilet before she would go in her pants. That eventually worked. I also had a new baby in the house. A month before she turned 3 she started going poo on her own in the toilet and was fully trained at night at the age of 3 and 2 months.

My neighbors daughter would bring her Mom a diaper to poo in for a year. They all move at their own pace.

Good luck!

I agree with the other moms who say don't push too hard. By 18 months, my first daughter was going pee in the potty, but would asked for a diaper for poo until she was 3. One day, while traveling, I didn't have a diaper with me. I told she could hold it or go in the toilet - she chose the toilet and never looked back. My younger daughter is almost 2 and wants nothing to do with the potty at all. I've put the training DVDs in, I used dolls and her older sister as examples - not interested. Be patient - this will soon be a distant and fond memory.

Have you tried a trainer potty seat? I think your daughter needs to be really relaxed and not afraid to fall in. Your not alone in this effort, I think it's a pretty common thing. When my daughter pooped the first time, she didn't tell me about it and came out of the bathroom with poop all over her self. She refused to wipe herself after that. I think she was about 5-years old when she finally had the nerve to wipe again. Give your daughter a break and tell her it's up to her when she wants to become a big girl and not a little girl. They grow up really fast!