My Son Is Afraid to Poop!

I don't have a boy, but in addition to all the great advice here, my daughter really liked the book "Everyone Poops". It was a gift, and boy am I glad. It shows how and where different animals and babies, children, and grownups poop by illustration.
I also got my little one excited bu letting her choose her own undies at Target. They have all kinds of great characters to choose from. I did have to put her potty in front of the TV to make it work, and let her run around w/ out any pull-ups on when we were at home in the mornings, because she would just go hide in the corner and poop in her pull-up when she thought I wasn't looking, and she wouldn't tell me when she had to go.

I hope this helps!

What exactly is his fear about the toilet? Is he afraid that he'll fall in or get flushed, is the sound of the flush to loud? Whatever it is, you should try to find out and deal with that specific issue. It is quite normal and you shouldn't worry. It can get frustrating as the mom though, that I can relate to. Books would be a good start too like you said. I am believe that you have to deal with the issue at hand, whatever that might be. Once you know, you can help him to cope with that fear better.

M., My 2 year old daughter is potty training and has the same issue --Here's my theory. All the time that I have been changing her diaper, once she has done a "poopy", the said "poopy" is removed, cleaned, whisked away with the rest of the diaper and she never even sees it or knows of its existance. Once she began potty training, she was horrified at the first sight of it and since then has not wanted to go on the potty when she needs to poop. She will, in fact, hold it in, because she is scared. I am working on the problem by putting her diaper back on her and letting her take care of her business on her own ( she walks around funny and acts like she's holding it in, that's when i put the diaper back on her). Once she has relieved herself, we go to the toilet and flush it. She says " bye bye, poo poo" and she's okay with that. Try the "everybody poops" book . She seems to enjoy that children's book.

Hi M.,
My son said it was scary too. However, just when he turned 3 we told him no more diapers and told him he was a big boy and had to go on the potty. After we sort of forced the issue he went on the potty then said, "That wasn't scary!" and then it was fine. (We did this while we were away on vacation so he was out of his usual environment). Does your son have friends about the same age that go on the potty? Maybe they can convince him that it's ok? (Worth a try)

Does your son have his own seat for the big toilet? Maybe take him to pick one out. That may make him more excited about it. Or offer to get him a toy he's always wanted if he just tries it once.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

do you have a dog. if so thats why he wants to go on the grass, kids are afraid and dont understand that something leaves their body and goes down the drain, it only takes one time for it to hurt and they wont go, kids have full control over the pooping, don't force him, reward him if he sits and tries, but wont go its ok let him up, praise him for even sitting there, if dad goes poop reward dad show it to him that dad is a big boy.. if you make this an issue your on for a huge fight.. if he must go let him poop in a diaper, then walk him over and flush it with him. I gave my son a squirt gun and put a target on the wall kepted him busy while pooping and it was fun, I just put a towel down on the floor. Books help to

good luck

Dear M.,

You have the right idea about going to the library for poop books. My gr grandson did this same thing, and he screamed in the shower for it seemed like years ! He screamed going to church until someone came out and gave him a cookie, then he loved it from then on.

You also have the right idea about not keeping him on the toilet for a long time. Boys do this, I don't know why. Our whole family rejoiced from coast to coast when Rhys finally was 'potty trained'. just let him poop in his diaper and say nothing. It will work out sooner or later. They are developing human beings not soldiers and they certainly won't do well when they are forced. Just be sure to give him fresh fruit now and again, and nature will take care of Mr. Hard Head. Potty training is an individual thing, and he is asserting his own ideas, isn't he? C. N.

HI M.,
(That's my name too!)
Maybe you can ask him where in the house he would like to go poop. (other then the grass) and take a portable potty and put it there. maybe you can put it in his room and close the door to give him privacy. He JUST might feel more comfortable closer to the ground.
Just an suggestion.
Good luck!

I know letting him poop on the grass sounds crazy, but indulge him for the last few weeks of summer and the fascination should pass (no pun intended). I don't normally tell people this, but it worked in my family. We have large dogs so I think that is where my kid got the idea, but it was just a short phase and she has no recollection of it now.

I'm not sure if someone's already recommended this, but I highly suggest getting the book "Everybody Poops." It definitely helps take the fear factor out of the process and explains that all living things poop. It's sort of commical to read but I think you'll find it really helps him warm up to the whole idea.

hmm i think that hes just generally affraid to go (which like you said is normal). what we did with my nephew was give him a mild laxitive (lil tummies). then we sat in the restroom with him aboiut 20 mins later. he was also scared it would hurt after previously being constipated though. we had to use the laxitive for about a week. good luck! a good book is everybody poops!

this may sound gross but have you ever tried to poop in front of him ..let him see you flush the poop and say "bye bye poo poo" and tell him..this is where big kids and moms and dads go poo poo, and now you're a big kid and this is where you go poo poo" then let him flush and say it. My son is the opposite he loves poop..and he wants to play with it..so um..yeah..i wish he was afraid of it..that would be nice actually..but seems like he's getting the idea now that you don't mess with it..he's almost 2.5..i've had some ...icky experiences w/ poop i never thought i'd have..UGH!

Hi M., Nobody tells you how tricky it is, because it is different, for different people, they key, for we was being organized, I like things done yesterday. OK about the poop thing, I think, you are handling it fine, you don't want to make him not sit on the potty, because then his fear will be validated, and at 3 it is important for him to be potty trained. Have you tried rewarding him for going poop on the potty, and at 3 he may be to big for a training chair, maybe he may feel better on the toilet. Also Have his dad go in with him, let you husband tell him this a a guy thing, this is what us guys do. Other than that i don't know what else to tell you beside be patient, my boys were easy, but I started then very young. J.

Your son is normal! Both my children started to poop on the potty around the same age (3 years, 5 months). I enticed them by "just try it and let's take a picture for daddy to show him!" It worked like a charm! First my son wanted to keep the poop in the potty for dad to see, but then the picture idea saved the day.

I would back off a little, and find lots of potty books at the library (there are lots of good ones with stories and young children).

Both my children used to ask for a diaper and hide behind the couch (for privacy) to poop. I let it be. I didn't want to harass them. I KNEW it would happen one day and I just needed to be ready.

One day (around 3.5 yrs) we were at a store and I "forgot" to bring to a diaper for my son. "Well son, it looks like you have to use their bathroom." He did! I "forgot" it because i "knew" he was ready. But notice I didn't stress him out about it.

Hi M., my name is M. I am also a S.A.H.M, I have 3 children ages 2, 3 and 4. I recently went through the same problem with my 3 year old about 2 months ago. He was very afraid to poop in the toilet, he refused to go on the potty, he had no problem going on the floor. After the second time he went on the floor I sat him on the potty and explained he had to go on the potty, I felt just as you did holding him hostage to the potty, I felt really bad, I was thinking am I tramatizing my poor little guy.

So this is what I did as he cried on the potty I explain that the poopy in his tummy had to get out, go into the potty and once we flushed it would go with "it's Mommy." I could tell he was afraid, I held his hand, and now I was no longer looking at him I was now "talking" to his tummy and I said, "come on poopy come out so you can go with your mommy, Marcelo (that's my sons name) will be fine, because I am his mommy, I am holding him right now so nothing will happen to him, so please poopy just come out." Marcelo finally did it, he was soo happy after he flushed he said, "bye poopy go with your mommy." He says that all the time when he flushes.

It has been 2 months and he is fully trained, he is now helping me with my youngest, He tells her "don't be afraid, "it" wants to go with his mommy."

Hope this helps.

M.

My first question would be do you have a dog? If so explain the difference. If not there ae great kid movies (Bear in the Big Blue house) and there are great interactive potty books out there. I used to sit my little guy on the potty with the potty books to distract him and then poof it would work. Hope it all goes well.

My daughter just turned two and we just finished potty training her... except for poop which she's very scared to go as well. She says she has potty about 5-6 times (we go and she says she doesn't have) until she finally can't hold it in anymore, is jumping off the toilet and that's when I know it's comming. I just hug her and rub her back until she does it and we have set up a reward system... of stickers when she does it (we have a chart on the bathroom wall she sticks them on, or herself sometimes). We tried stickers before... but cookie monster stickers only worked... Im not sure if boys are into stickers...
Another thing we tried because she was totally terrified at first was that we have a portable dvd player... and we would let her watch elmo when we knew she had to go and that relaxed her to stay on the toilet. But be warned... she started to catch on and she would say she had to go potty just to watch elmo in the bathroom!

My 3yr old went through the same thing. We tried everything. He followed us into the bathroom all the time and we showed him it was ok. Don't force it on him it will make matters worse. We bribe Tyler with skittles. It was a last resort but it works and he is proud to poop now and he tells everyone that he gets 2 skittles for pooping.

Strangely, almost all kids seem to get this irrational fear of going poop in the potty.

I have a few suggestions, some worked and some didn't, but each kid is different, so I'm throwing them out there.

You can try taking his poop (out of his diaper), putting it in the toilet and letting him flush it. So he sees that nothing bad happens.

Let him sit on the toilet while you read a story. Give him a snack to eat while you're reading. Don't pressure him to poop or ask him if he has to go. Just treat it like an other story time. He may get so caught up in the story that he'll 'forget' to be afraid and poop (the snack will help push things along).

Talk to him about why he doesn't want to poop on the potty. Is he afraid, uncomfortable, in pain? Reassure him that nothing bad will happen.

Let him see you and/or your husband use the toilet. He will see that it's OK.

If he insists on going outside, put a potty chair out there, and tell him that he may go there, but then he has to help clean up. Eventually he will get tired of that and may decide it's easier to use the big potty.

Good luck!

My son is 3 yrs 5 mths and just started pooping on the potty yesterday. We've had 2 days of success and I think we may have finally gotten him trained. He was also scared to poop on the potty. He wasn't pee trained until about a month and a half ago, but that was a whole other issue. Anyway, I could see how stressed he was about the whole poop thing so we talked about it and decided that he could ask for a pullup for poop and I'd change him. He really wanted a specific toy, so I didn't make a fuss about it, but told him that once he went poop on the potty, he could have it. We were just starting to get impatient with the changing pull-ups thing when yesterday he asked for a pull-up. It was obvious that he could hardly hold in the poop, so I picked him up (with him crying and saying no) and placed him on the potty. He pretty much pooped in the toilet by accident, but his face just lit up. He was so excited! After that, he sat back down and worked a bit to finish. Today, he asked for a pull-up again. I told him that I would get one but that he'd have to give me his toy back. He decided to try the toilet again and was very successful. It seems that his fear is going away. I think he was fearful of not being able to poop in the toilet. Anyway, my suggestion would be to maybe try to catch him in a moment when he really can't hold it anymore. Timing was everything for us. For those times when it's not that way, maybe try backing off for a period of time while he adjusts to the idea. Best of luck.

My daughter had poop issues. She peed on the potty just fine when I started to potty train her. Poop however, took a solid YEAR!!! She would wear panties all day, then ask me for a diaper when she needed to poop. She would poop and I'd change her. When she went to preschool, she would hold it till she got home and then use a diaper. She struggled with it, but she finally worked it out in her mind and I did not push her. I would tell her "when you are ready, you can go poop into the potty directly" and she knew that is what was supposed to happen. finally, she just did it. Although to this day, she needs those moist wipes, or she will hold it. I put the individually wrapped ones into her backpack to take to school! Just keep reinforcing the ideal situation and work out some system that will allow him to go, but not cause too much laundry. He will do it eventually (when he decides!)

well, my son went through this as well, what really helped was taking him to Target and letting him pick out a little potty.
He was therefore not scared to use the little potty, and felt much more comfortable with it. We also had to let him keep going in a diaper or pull=up sometimes. It took about three-six months to get him really comfortable with the idea, and he finally transitioned to the toilet when he was used to the little potty. Also, our pediatrician suggested having him just sit several times a day on the big potty, just to get him comfortable with it, and read him a book or something. It is very normal to be afraid of the big potty at this age. The important thing is not to make a big deal of it, and give them lots of support and time to get through it. Good luck, this type of thing always passes, it is just tough when you are in it. R.

I would back off for a while and let him poop where he wants to (not on the lawn, of course).
We have two children who are potty trained now, and they were completely different when they were learning. Our son was completely potty trained in one week. Our daughter too A LOT longer. (She's turning four in a couple of weeks, and if she's too busy playing, she'll still poop in her pants on occasion.) I have come to learn that children will be potty trained when they're ready. I've never heard of a child going to college in diapers, so don't worry, he'll poop in the potty when he's good and ready. Good luck! :)

This may be a daddy thing. They are boys and maybe dad can make the difference. Sometimes just for the fact of the different approach.
Reward system works too. Find a reward he really likes. You had a great idea about poop books too.

Wendy

My younger son went through this too. I tried everything to coerce him- bribes, you name it...
Finally when I spoke to my pediatrician, I realized he could have a physical issue with it. He would hold it in for days and then scream and cry while having an accident in his underwear...
It was awful.
I finally agreed to give him mineral oil at night (I was highly against it because I was certain he was head strong and his poop was hurting only because he was holding it in)

Turns out, he was constipated, and when he started on the mineral oil, he couldn't hold it and I would bring him to the toilet and he wouldn't be able to hold it so he would just go. After a few days, his fears were lessened as it stop hurting him.

This process lasted less than a week and we struggled with it prior to the mineral oil for almost a YEAR! (on and off)

He is no longer afraid, and if he is constipated, he will tell me )"it is going to hurt..) and I will give him mineral oil that night.

I would check with your pediatrician, first.. but it worked wonders for us. We also tried to cut back on bananas, rice, apples and toast - Brat diet is not good for poop resisters!!
Hope it helps
K.