Need Help Guiding My Daughter...

I really like the big girl response. That was good advice. I agree it should be kept simple. My kid does the same now. She likes to flash people. I have both my girls wear shorts under their dresses. I've told them that when they start to sit with their manners, with their legs together they can wear dresses without shorts. They are slowly catching on. This is something all kids go through I think. My seven year old doesn't flash anyone anymore, she does however need to learn how to sit in a dress, but for now that is what the shorts are for.

I did the same thing with both my girls, now 15 & 11. It seems like they all go through that stage. I had to make them wear shorts under all their skirts/dresses for a little over a year, if I remember right. Didn't have problems with the lifting shirts for too long, just long enough for them to get the point that they are girls, and girls don't show off that way. Keep it low key. There are plenty of ways to teach modesty without resorting to yelling or spanking. They understand quickly that its all a part of growing up.
Good luck

Being raised in a strong Christian home and doing the same for my children we teach that the Lord gave us our bodies to house our spirits and they are a temple. Because our body is a temple we should treat it with respect and keep it covered. You may tell her that her body is special and should not be shown to other people and so it is important to keep our dresses and skirts down. I also think that she is acting her age and that the shorts are a great idea. Some people tell their children we should not show any one our underwear and that it is private. I hope this helps.

I would just start having small conversations about it, telling her that there are parts of our body that we don't show strangers, etc. If you start small, open, unintimidating conversations now, then talking to her about sex later on will be much more natural and easy.

Suggestion: As you dress your daughter just have conversations with her explaining that ladies don't let others see their underwear and that means they have to sit with their skirt down and their knees together. Remind her that she is a young lady. Tell her why she is wearing shorts on certain days...... for instance, so you can play on the slide and swing on the swings at the park. Continue to reinforce this message as she grows. I thought it was so cute when my friend reminded her young daughter, 8 years old or so, "Remember, you are a young lady. Be sure you act like it." Conversation is my style of teaching and it paid off very well for me because conversation is a two way street and our daughter learned to initiate conversations when she had questions and concerns. I love that you used the word "guiding." That is what our children need us to do.

I am glad your teaching your daughter to be a classy lady. I totally agree with you and five is kinda older to be instilling this but hey better late than never. I would handle this like you do with all bad behavior, bad words, hitting, and such. Be consistant in your teachings. If other moms say let her be I totally dont agree. You dont want her to grow up being a britney spears and showing all her business when she gets out of the car. That is trashy.

This is nothing more then teaching your daughter how to act in public,she isen't of age to be worried about anything else.Knowing right from wrong and wearing the shorts under her skirts is about all for now,afterall she is just a kid. Kids need guidance and consequences when the behavior is inappropriate.That pretty much sums it up. Good Luck!

One work - SKORTS! They are a life saver when trying to teach them manners and how to sit.

They do eventually grow out of the "look at me" stage and develop lady like manners. Keep the tone light - make it a funny kind of thing with a lesson behind it. Encourage her to act like a big girl and continue to remind her how big girls act.

Be careful on the bike shorts route. If the shorts are too tight they can cause some health issues - yeast infections, etc. If she still needs to wear shorts under skirts and dresses - make sure they are looser fitting.

My daughter thinks is hilarious to pull her shirt and skirts up. She's two and we've had the "its not nice to do in public" talk. I told her that those things are for no one else to see except mommy or daddy when it comes to using the bathroom or bathing. I would just keep it simple and age appropriate.

I group that kind of stuff up with "bad manners" along with all the standards (don't point, say thank you etc) I stress that having good manners is extremely important and that no one will want to be around with--or be friends with someone with bad manners. I just say--"No, honey. That's really really bad manners to do that around people."
Working so far :)

There is nothing at all wrong with youthful exhuberance. However, all children need to be taught that there is "a time and a place for everything." Even my autistic son who is significantly retarded was able to learn that it is not OK to do some things "in public."

You should speak to your daughter, keeping the tone light, and reminding her that just as she closes the door when she uses the restroom, she should keep her body covered when she's in public. It's not too early to teach her how to behave "like a lady."

Just start to explain to her that she is a girl and girls don't do things like that. I dress my daughter in shorts underneath her dresses just for that reason, but i also tell her when she doesn't act like a lady(like spitting or raising her dress over her head)that little girls don't do that and you can tell her that everyone will see her panties and you don't like that.

I would only dress her in shorts or pants. Tell her that little girls who show their undies don't get to wear pretty dresses or skirts. When she is ready to try again, you will be happy to let her wear them again.

I think you want to focus on what big people do and what little people do. "See the 2 yr old, she does that, but you are a big girl and big girls don't pull their shirts up".
Doesn't get into the problems of sex, modesty etc. just the way things are, like not picking your nose.;-)

Hi A.,
The bigger deal you make out of this, the more of a concern it will be for her. In general conversation mention to her that Mommie doesn't show other people her underwear, so she shouldn't either. This doesn't have to just be about girls. You can also point out that Daddy doesn't show his underwear either. My daughters wore diaper covers until they started wearing panties, then shorts with their dresses. Children like to run and play, and sometimes dresses or skirts fly up unintentionally. I wore shorts under my dresses and skirts until I was in junior high school. By then I didn't run and play except in PE class where I dressed out in shorts. I hope the discussion about not letting underwear show will also prepare my daughters for not letting their bra straps show, or other underwear. I'm not sure of the appropriate age when girls should be more modest around Daddy. I didn't discuss it with my daughters, but around six, my oldest stopped asking daddy to put her lotion on her back after her bath. My six year old is more of a free spirit and hasn't started being modest with daddy yet. They are both modest around anyone other than mommie and daddy. I didn't discuss it with them, I just followed their lead and their comfort level.

Morning A.!

I agree w/ the previous moms..start conversations with her about all of this. Keep it simple, use age-appropriate explanations. My mom was very open & honest with my sisters & I when we were growing up about our bodies. Being naked, etc doesn't bother me. (Plus sharing one bathroom with 3 sisters & my mom helped too.) When my oldest was little (she's now 12), and she began experimenting, she had NO MODESTY whatsoever. Shirts were raised, skirts lifted, even some touching to my absolute mortification!!!! I simply started explaining all those body parts that were HERS & for HER ALONE. My tactic was to let her know that boys & girls were different, but that they had parts that were only for them. Guess you could say I made it into a game of sorts. If she felt the need to "show off," then she had to make sure not to show anyone, cuz then they would want her body parts. As crazy as it sounds, it worked. She DID NOT want to share. LOL Now I have a 9 m/o daughter. That isn't the direction I will be going with her. I realize now that at aga 19, I had NO idea how to educate my child. lol

Anyways, my point is just explain your expectations to your DD as best you can, using words & phrases that she can understand & relate to. If you come at her with understanding & compassion, then she wont grow into a woman uncomfortable with her body.

HTH!!!!

several books in the Library. Agree with the talk mentioned too.