Shorts Under Dresses?!

Updated on April 12, 2013
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
64 answers

someone asked this question i believe a year ago. I still dont get it why do little girls have to wear shorts under dresses. Last year you guys convinced M. and then this year i forget why.

So today emmy was sooooo excited to not wear stockings and J. a dress and I mentioned shorts and she was going to ditch the dress she was so happy about, so i told her if she didnt want to wear shorts under dont. So she is in school (1st grade)without them, and i personally dont see an issue or atleast forget the issue

i realize her underwear could possibly be seen if she's jumping or running but so could it on adults and we dont wear shorts under dresses. plus whats the big deal if someone catches a glimpse of her underwear? Its not like at 6 they look much diferent then shorts anyway theyre not wearing things that reveal anything. all bits are covered..they dont call shorts underwear for a reason because they arent supposed to go under what you wear

ok so please remind M. why its important to wear shorts again

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So What Happened?

but kids wear bathing suits and do active stuff whats the diference?
i may buy a pair or two of the bike shorts and see if that works. we dont have any like that, so it would be bulky clothes. last year she was all about the monkey bars so i enforced it, this school only allows 1st graders to do tiny moneky bars so she wont do them until she can go on the big ones so shes not in the air like last year. this year shes moreso jumping rope and running
also i dont see howl0ose shorts are any diferent. sometimes they flal to the side and so on

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Perhaps, I'm in the minority. I J. don't need everyone out there seeing my kid's underwear. Not to mention, with kid's being active, underwear does not always stay in place. I will never forget playing on the jungle gym at a park and my underwear catching and exposing my entire privates. Yeah, plenty of strangers saw that and it WAS awful. I don't need my kid being exposed. Yeah, adults don't wear shorts. They also don't crawl on equipment, do cartwheels, wrestle, run, play sports...and all the other things girls do in dresses.

I think it's J. good practice. You can control very little, in reality. I would choose to control my daughter being exposed to dozens of people. J. my opinion. I mean really, you would WANT people to "catch a glimpse" of her underwear? You are J. totally cool with that?

18 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I teach Sunday School to 1 st and 2 nd graders. Every Sunday I ask someone to put their feet down. I see way more underwear than necessary.

Without shorts, you might as well be sending her in a top and underwear.

It's not a glimpse of underware, it's a show. They J. don't think.

15 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I have boys, but I always feel sorry for the poor girls hanging upside down on the monkey bars, dress up over their head and panties wedged up in their butt cheek. Especially when some boy comes along and points the situation out to all the other boys. I also feel sorry for the little girls who don't run around and have fun, or go down the slide or on the monkey bars at recess because they wore a dress and don't want to show off their panties. It's hard being a kid, why open her up for all kinds of teasing. A nice pair of bike shorts or even a good pair of boy cut panties solve the problem. I know that I prefer to wear a swimsuit with boy cut bottoms because I like to be active, and boy cut stays in place.

10 moms found this helpful

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

WHY? Because the world is full of bad people. And you/we as parents should do everything in our power to protect our children, IMO. Strictly my opinion.
And I haven't seen many adults 'running and jumping' in dresses.
Our 7yr old refuses to wear a dress without shorts. And she won't wear a skirt unless it's a skort.

17 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ok, after your SWH.. Let her J. wear panties only under a dress.. .. You seem to be set on it.. so go for it.. Why are you asking us this for the second time and then making excuses after EVERY response says they would not?

You are HER mother. We J. know for our own children it will not work.. You do what you think works for your daughter.. And do not even bother with the rest of us..

Our daughter insisted on wearing shorts under her dresses and skirts. She "did not want people to see her panties.. Especially the boys. "

I assume you would not be bother you if a male parent or male employee were at the school and saw your daughter hanging upside down on the swings, with her panties totally showing.. Or her underpants askew as she came down the slide?

That is why we teach children modesty.. Also we want girls to be able to be as active as they want without being embarrassed or embarrassing anyone else by showing their privates or their panties. ..

16 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

My high school senior went out this morning with shorts on under her skirt. She doesn't need boys trying to check out her private parts as she goes up the stairs or gets out of the car. She has always worn shorts under her skirts - especially if they are short.
The shorts keep everything covered and she doesn't have to worry about anything showing that's not supposed to be showing.
YMMV
LBC

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I wore shorts under my dresses because I was always doing flips and acrobatics on the playground equipment. I would have been horrified if anyone saw my panties.

I'm older. My mother was very old-fashioned and believed that little girls were to act like ladies. She didn't let M. wear pants to school until I was about in the 4th grade and even then, I had to have a note from the principal saying it was okay.

I always felt more comfortable in dresses anyway. To this day, I still do. No, I don't wear shorts under them, but I'm also not doing cartwheels in my office so that people can see my underpants.

I remember being little and my parents watching the Lawrence Welk show.
Some of those women wore really twirly dresses when they danced and every now and then you'd get a glimpse of their undergarments. My mom told M. that they were "special panties" and part of the costume, it wasn't their REAL panties.

Somehow, that made sense to M..

You're daughter is in the first grade. I, personally, wouldn't want anyone seeing my daughter flashing her panties while she's playing.
Why should your daughter feel completely fine and comfortable with anybody at school seeing her panties?

This is what I don't understand.

Your argument about grown women not wearing shorts is
A) Wrong!!! What do you think Spanks are?
B) As far as the women I know, grown women are not going to flash their panties. (Unless they want some dollar bills tucked in them).

Maybe I'm J. old fashioned, but little girls should not be showing their panties. I bought bike shorts that matched with my daughter's clothes. She loved wearing dresses so she always wanted something under.

What if you had a son that pulled his pants down to show everyone his underwear.

J. sayin'.

No offense intended.

11 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

It is important for young girls to wear shorts under their dresses or skirts for modesty. Children are not as mindful as adults of the positions they sit in, or the activities they participate in. I certainly don't go hopping around or turning cartwheels or bending over wearing a dress, but my daughter would. I insist she wear shorts. J. little black bike shorts.

Maybe YOU don't think it's a big deal if someone sees your child's underwear...but I do, and other people who SEE them might think it's a big deal. It's not J. for YOUR child, but out of respect for others who may be more modest than you are.

**Again, I want to reiterate that it's not J. for you and your daughter. I fully believe that we ought not cause OTHERS to sin, and that's where my viewpoint comes from. If a young boy were to see her underwear, his thoughts might go to a place that they wouldn't have otherwise, and if you have the power to prevent this, then by all means. It's the same reason why many cultures insist women dress a certain way. I'm not the hugest prude in the world, but I don't want people seeing my child's underwear when she's 6.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

When I wear a dress, I don't play on the jungle gym. I also don't have male colleagues lifting my skirt to tease M.. I can sit on the floor or in a chair without rolling on my back or putting my knees up and showing everyone my underwear. And in our school, it is a rule to wear shorts under skirts, so even if I disagreed with the rule, unless I am willing to change the system, we follow the rule. My children need to understand that first and foremost, they must follow the rules unless and until they manage to change it if it's unfair.

But I don't disagree with it. I have a very active girl who doesn't need to flash her panties to the world.

11 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter is nearing 4 and she's always had something underneath her dresses, even as a newborn she had a pair of bottoms of some kind over her diaper.
It keeps her cleaner, more comfortable and keeps everything covered. We use the stretchy spandex kinds of shorts the most. Hanes now sells "play shorts" that you can buy in 2 packs at Target. They're essentially exercise spandex shorts. Or she wears leggings or tights.
Underwear is not a form fitting item like the bike shorts. They can and do shift and move around. They also do not cover and protect sensitive areas the same way that second layer of a pair of shorts do. Not J. from accidental exposure to everyone around them but from hot slides or dirt on the playground or the any number of things little kids get into.
I also always wear a pair of exercise shorts under my skirts. I especially wear them when working at renaissance faires. The things that get into places you don't want them when enjoying working at ren faires and playing with your kids is nasty without them! It also helps with any sweating or rubbing or chafing. It does the same things for girls running around the playground, jumping rope, climbing etc.
It's both comfort and modesty.
As for comparing it to a bathing suit. Bathing suits are made of a much different material than underwear so it fits more closely to the body and don't shift the same way a pair of underwear do. I always put a pair of shorts over bathing suits when not in the water and they're J. playing around. This year we chose a suit with shorts bottoms instead of the usual bottoms because they looked more comfortable, and this is coming from a born and raised California Girl that grew up in bikinis in the 70s and 80s because that's what we had. It's not so much the modesty as much as comfort.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I can't believe you don't see the difference between underwear and a swimsuit. Are you saying you'd be fine swimming or going to the beach in your bra and panties? Of course not, they are not the same thing at all! And little kids are especially sensitive about other children seeing their underwear. It's has nothing to do with being bad or dirty it's J. protecting your daughter from possibly being teased.
I am old enough to remember the old jump rope line, I see London, I see France, I see (insert name here)'s underpants. We didn't have leggings when I was a little girl, but we all wore tights with our dresses. I don't think this generation is any different, nobody wants anyone seeing their panties in public, especially a child.

10 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

My almost 12 year old granddaughter still wears bike shorts under her dresses, her choice. She's on spring break this week and with M. and I J. asked her why she does and she looked surprised, then thought, and said, "Because I'm a lady."

BTW, they require them for girls wearing dresses in my guy's preschool and my nephew's elementary school.

10 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

At our school, shorts are required under dresses for PE, recess, etc.

My 18 yr old is in cheer and she wears her cheer spandex (boy short type) under all of her dresses. She has black, nude, etc and most of the girls do continue to wear spandex under dresses. It J. keeps their undies from showing. I know the older girls like my daughter all wear thongs and the dresses are pretty short so this is J. a safety thing so they don't show the world their goods.

ETA: JC is right. In elementary school, they sit criss cross applesauce at all times when on the floor for assemply, reading time, library, music.

10 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Girls where shorts under dresses (usually work out shorts, not shorts with pockets, etc.) because then if they do cartwheels - their underwear isn't showing.

I wear shorts under my dresses and skirts because my thighs rub together (yuck! And have all my life - even when I was a cheerleader and swimmer)...and because if I bend over and a gust of wind comes up - i don't want my stuff to shown...

the shorts I am talking about are like this:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/WOMENS-SIZE-MEDIUM-UNDER-ARMOUR-C...

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B.1.

answers from Tampa on

Every time I see a little girl hanging upside down at the playground, I think that her parents are smart for having her wear bike shorts under her dress. That way she can play actively and not expose more skin than necessary. There are perverts everywhere so why let them glimpse your daughter in her underwear? Make it harder on them. I wouldn't let my 5 year old son run around a public playground in his underwear either.

9 moms found this helpful
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L.E.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I spent eight years wearing a Catholic school uniform (jumper with blouse) and oh my gosh there is no way I would have been caught without shorts under my skirt. Not only because we walked to school and it could get petty windy on the playground, but also because the boys would always be at the back of the line when we moved through the halls (back then it was 'ladies' first). This conveniently allowed them to look up the girls dresses when we walked up the stairs. Funny, I had forgotten about this until I saw this post. If I had a daughter, absolutely shorts so that she could run, jump, climb, cartwheel and whatever.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter is almost 4. She loves to run and jump and play, and to sit "criss cross applesauce". During all of those things her skirts and dresses can shift and move and cause someone to see her unders. In her pre-school she will tell M. "Avery was sitting and the boys started to say 'I can see your underwear', causing Avery to cry". Thankfully this has helped Maddy to develop some form of modesty. We buy her biker shorts or "Cheerleader shorts" which are sold at Children's Place for $5 per pair. They aren't bulky, and they help protect some of her innocence.
You also have to remember, kids are outside so much, doing cartwheels, running, and swinging. Who knows who is driving by and may see them in their underwear. It's not the 6 year old boys I am concerned with. It is the 40 year old who is FAR too interested in the playground.

ETA: Many schools, including the pre-school where my daughter will be attending in the fall, require it is a part of their dress code.

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K.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Because kids don't develop the self awareness to keep their undies hidden until they're older.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Well my girls spent a fair amount of time at school spinning and hanging upside down on the monkey bars, and doing cartwheels on the grass so they would have been MORTIFIED if they were hanging there flashing their panties to the world!
A swimsuit or a leotard is one thing, but most kids find exposed underwear extremely embarrassing.
They always wore those little spandex gymnastics or dance shorts, which were very smooth and comfortable under dresses

8 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My girls tend to be upside down too much not to wear shorts. Like cartwheels, hanging from tress......

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❤.I.

answers from Albuquerque on

My daughter is in first grade too and unless she's wearing leggings or thick tights then she wears shorts under her dresses. I guess for M. it's J. a modesty issue. She likes playing on the bars and slides and all that. Adults don't wear shorts under dresses because most adults aren't playing on the jungle gym in dresses, LOL.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My GD always wears shorts under her dresses because she is more comfortable that way in that she doesn't have to worry about her panties showing.

I remember being in grade school - if we saw someone's underwear, we teased them mercilessly. Don't know if the kids at Emmie's school would do that, but J. something to think about.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

my daughter is a tomboy but loves dresses. without shorts, not only was she showing the world her undies when climbing, sitting cross legged, etc. she was getting all sorts of dirt, sand and whatnot in place dirt, sand and whatnot should not be.

My daughter has worn shorts under her skirts and dresses since she started walking aroun 1 1/2 years, so for 4 years. She now won't wear a dress if she DOESN"T have shorts, leggins, or stockings on.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Because little girls have no shame and are active little girls. Jeff Foxworthy has a joke about his daughters meeting the pastor and pulling their dresses over their heads. Active little girls J. have no concept of "keep your dress down" and "don't show your underpants". When they are older, shorts are not a requirement (though my SD did wear bike shorts in HS if she thought she might flash...a longer skirt would have been better but at least she was covered). So I keep DD in shorts or leggings when I think she might climb a tree or something else and flash her underwear while wearing a dress. As an adult, I do not run and jump and climb trees in my dresses. That's the difference.

It's also "time and place". A swimsuit is a different environment than a school and it is meant to be seen and underpants are not. If you really don't care who sees your kid's underpants, then that's your choice. I prefer my DD to wear shorts and I try to make sure her shorts are the variety that won't gap too much to show her underwear - regardless of whether or not she's also in a skirt.

In googling for a company that I know makes them J. for this purpose, I found a few references to adults who wear bike shorts to prevent chafing. So some adults DO wear them under their skirts.

ETA: Which is not to say that I don't tell my DD to sit like a lady, remember she's in a skirt, etc. but I'm also realistic that the skirt she wants to wear to school is likely to flip up on the swings. I'm talking about LITTLE girls here. When SD was older she stopped wearing shorts unless she decided to do so again. But well into elementary school she wore skirts or leggings.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter (she's also 6) loves to hang upside down on the monkey bars. So she always wears shorts underneath. It's totally her decision to do it too because she doesn't want anyone seeing her undies and she wants to be able to climb and roll and jump.

8 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My 7 year old wears cotton "boy shorts" or bike shorts under her dresses/skirts. That way she's not impeded in any way - if she wants to play baseball and slide into second base, she can, and nobody is going to see her underwear. Let's face it, yeah, they're little and innocent at that age, but do you really want to see ANY kid's underwear? And their little legs are so skinny that half the time, their underwear sags a little bit, and you really, really don't want to see their privates! Better to wear a layer underneath and then they don't even have to think about it.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

If you don't see the difference between being seen in a swimsuit vs. underpants, then I suggest which would YOU feel more comfortable doing? Being at public place like a pool or beach in a swimsuit, vs. being seen in J. a bra and panties? Adults don't wear shorts or pants under skirts or dresses but we usually are not hanging upside down or going down slides or playing on swings or turning cartwheels all over either.

My daughter is 5 - unless it is a dressy dress-up dress that is lower than her knees and she is wearing tights with it (in which case she is not going to be playing on a playground or sitting or rolling all over the floor), she has biker shorts or leggings (full-length or capri length) on underneath. I don't want kids teasing her because they see her underwear and I want her to start developing a reasonable amount of modesty.

7 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

My daughter climbs and jumps and sits not so lady-like...she wears shorts under her dresses for that reason. Also, sometimes if they are a little shorter than would be ok, shorts make them like a long dress.

While an accidental glimpse of a child's underwear (like on a playground) isn't a big deal, different dress codes make it necessary to err on the side of caution.

We use biker's style shorts (or others that are not bulky).

Adults don't typically run, jump, play, climb etc in dresses.

7 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I didn't wear shorts under dresses and skirts mostly because I didn't wear dresses and skirts.
I hated them.
You couldn't climb to the top of the monkey bars in them.
And I had the neighborhood record for climbing the highest in the trees - a neighbor threatened to shoot M. down if I kept scaring him like that (I was looking down onto the roof of a 2 story building - great tree! - I was 7 at the time.)
They got in the way in running and riding a bike and building a tree fort.
I such a tom boy and I wasn't going to let dresses/skirts slow M. down.

Sure - some Scotsmen don't wear anything under their kilts, but you can get quite a show if the breeze is blowing.

I'm not that keen on seeing anyone's underwear for any reason.

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J.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Wow, I never thought about this issue. I saw them for the first time at Kohl's last month when I was hunting for Easter dresses. I didn't consider them.
My five-year-old decided in January that she only wanted to wear dresses and skirts to school every day and she has, but she also wore thick colorful tights.
Now it is glorious spring and no tights. I will buy some of these shorts TOMORROW at Target.
I love Mamapedia for these types of ideas and points.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter does not like wearing a skirt without shorts (she's 5.5). She said she feels like her underwear is showing (which it is). I think it's mostly a modesty thing in school so the kids don't make fun of them "I saw Emmy's underwear!!"

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter always wears biker shorts under her dresses. They have all different colors at the Children's Place. It is not J. for the playground either. My kids are told to sit pretzel style on the floor frequently and my daughter has told M. that boys and girls will snicker and laugh if if see underwear.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I see your point. Really, why is it a big deal?
However, with that being said, there is something to be said for teaching kids about modesty and what is okay and what is not okay. If it's not okay for us to show our underwear, why should it be okay for them to show their underwear. If I was participating in an activity where my underwear might be seen, I would wear something different, or yes, perhaps put a pair of shorts on under the skirt/dress. If a girl is going to wear a dress or skirt to play in, and the underwear might be seen, then I think it makes sense to put a pair of little shorts on. We always bought short shorts or bicycle shorts, etc; but I noticed that Target now carries under-dress shorts - it's about time!
And, catching a glimpse is one thing, but sometimes it's more than a glimpse - like when they hang upside down from the monkey bars, or crossing the monkey bars if they're high up, or when sitting indian-style in class, etc.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

As someone who has had grown-women panties flashed at them at least twice recently... I'm all for shorts. I loved it when some clothing stores offered skirts with shorts built in. Now, if I wear a skirt or dress (usually knee-length), I usually wear leggings underneath for a little added modesty, because I don't like worrying about sitting primly. This is for my comfort, that's all.

Hanna Andersonn makes some very cute ones for little girls, btw.

As for little girls-- personally, I think it's more comfortable to have something more between their butts and the slide. Ditto Mamazita-- I can guarantee you that there will be some kids who will tease if they think to. (They don't giggle at Captain Underpants because it's 'no big deal' y'know?)

No, they don't HAVE to wear the shorts. But don't expect her classmates to be as mature as you are.

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H.L.

answers from Houston on

I think that it teaches modesty. I don't have a daughter and don't remember if I wore them, but I have had to pointed out to many a young girl that she should put her legs down or be careful when changing position. Sometimes panties shift and don't give the full coverage. Until they are in the habit of keeping things under wraps, the shorts provide a bit of a barrier and a reminder.

ETA: Regarding bathing suits and underwear providing the same amount of coverage, it's not about the skin that shows, it's about how it's shown. There's a difference between wearing shorts that hit mid-thigh and a skirt that hits mid-thigh. And a skirt that is long but sheer from mid-thigh on down. Same coverage. These are the nuances in women's and girls' fashion that are so tricky...and annoying.

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I wore a jumper to school every day from K-6th grade, then a skirt from 7-12th. We were required to wear shorts of some kind under our skirts because getting a "panty shot" of a little girl or young woman is J. gross. If boys wore kilts to school I'd expect them to also wear shorts underneath.

Plus, it is easy to get chaffed thighs when wearing a skirt, especially if she's going to be active.

I'd wear: biker shorts, on days we had gym class I'd wear my gym shorts, or men's cotton boxers which were lightweight and very breathable for warmer weather, and in colder weather full tights.

And yes, the boys CONSTANTLY try to look up the girls' skirts. Little pervs, lol ;-)

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A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband makes our daughter. I think it makes him more comfortable. I prefer her to wear them under J. because she's only 7 and we are still working on how to sit lady like, how in skirt/dress you should not be hanging upside down on the play place.

It's not a battle I want to fight with either of them....so in the case "dad wins".

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☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our daughter's school requests that girls wear shorts under dresses/skirts. She would wear shorts under her dresses even if the school didn't make such a request. *I* even remember wearing shorts under my dresses as a kid because I was very active, but also because you do a lot of cross legged sitting on the floor at that age. Egads, the last thing you want is boys to be checking out your undies, you know?! Some things never change.

At any rate, we J. found some short 'biking shorts' at Old Navy. They're fitted so they aren't bulky underneath.

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I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't make mine wear shorts under dresses at all times, but their panties show when they don't. Some places that matters and other places I don't really care. But I know that my kid J. can't be modest like adults. Nor should we have to force little girls not to play when they have dresses for the sake of modesty. Shorts solve that problem. Play away, cartwheels whatever.
Beach is a different context. Would you make people uncomfortable if you went grocery shopping in your bathing suit?

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

It's so their underwear don't show. Because kids are active and I don't know about her school but my son has PE everyday and expected to take part in it. With a dress she's apt to show her underwear. Yes bathing suites show J. as much but it's a different setting and expected. To M. it's J. like they make all kinds of skimpy bathing suites it does not mean I want to see people in them. It's definetly a modisty thing!!! I was not allowed to wear pants or shorts when I was little but discovered I needed shorts under my dresses and skirts because boys kept looking up my dress. No they should not do that but they are kids. That's my thoughts on it.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

You are mom and you get the final say. If it doesn't bother you, then don't make her wear the shorts under her skirts/dresses.

I wear camis/tank tops under nearly all my tops. Sure, the worst someone would see is my bra but I don't like flashing my bra at others even if it is accidental. I also make sure my dresses and skirts are a certain length. I like to know I can bend over without giving an eye full of my backside. Personally I like knowing my undergarments are covered and I won't be having any wardrobe malfunctions which leave a lasting reminder far beyond what I intend. That's my mindset with M. as an adult. If I were a child who was running and jumping and swinging and sliding, I sure as heck would wear shorts under my skirts/dresses. Underwear are harmless enough but that doesn't mean they need to be viewable.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I remember my friend's daughter being told in K to wear shorts and we were surprised. They were in K! What I don't really get is how is it different than a bathing suit?... But that applies to all of life. We can walk around in a bikini at a pool but never in a bra and underwear which really are the same amount of coverage. I think J. one of those things...

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P.K.

answers from New York on

GrandmaRocks has a very wise granddaughter. She is a lady. With the way kids go to school these days and the length or lack of length of Skirts and dresses, they should all have shorts on. Totally different world today than 50 years ago.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I never wore shorts under a dress and I never made my daughter do it either.

ETA: As for "I fully believe that we ought not cause OTHERS to sin, and that's where my viewpoint comes from. If a young boy were to see her underwear, his thoughts might go to a place that they wouldn't have otherwise, and if you have the power to prevent this, then by all means. It's the same reason why many cultures insist women dress a certain way."
---How is that any different from "She was asking for it" if a woman is raped while wearing a miniskirt?

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M.O.

answers from New York on

If I had a girl, I'd probably encourage shorts under dresses, but I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it.

Reason being, kids at this age can tease each other mercilessly if they catch a glimpse of underwear, and shorts eliminate that risk. I also think it's really important for little girls not to have to choose between being pretty and princessy, and climbing trees and having adventures. With shorts under a dress, they can do both.

But if she goes without shorts one day, NO BIG DEAL.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I read most of the answers and I do agree with what some people are saying, but honestly, I think you J. have to choose the route you're going to take...

I do think that girls this age (and I have a very active 5 y/o) need to begin to understand that it really isn't okay to J. show your panties off, accidentally or on purpose. It's not that what gets shown by a panty shot is particularly provocative in a 6 year old, it's because at 6 she is capable of understanding that underwear covers her vagina and her vagina should be protected and respected. It's J. the beginning.

So...where I do not think girls need to wear shorts under their skirts, I get it. Do I make my daughter...nope. But...I do tell her that if she's wearing a skirt/dress that she can't show her underwear off, so no flipping on the playground, cartwheels, etc. She either is okay with that or she will change her clothes and we haven't had a problem with it at all.

Personally, I do like the skirts with shorts build in because it solves all my problems! ;) My kid loves to wear skirts and dresses and is in them almost every day, so I get it. Plus, in the summer time it does get hot to add that extra layer of clothes, I wouldn't want to do it, I mean part of the allure of wearing a dress in the summer is to let the air flow! :)

Bottom line...I don't think wearing shorts is the important message here though, I think the message behind the idea of the shorts is what is most important.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

So when she goes out on the monkey bars at recess and flips upside down and her dress goes up around her face she won't be showing her crotch and hiney. Panties slip and they protect ones modesty.

Girls sit all wonky too. Panties slid around. She could be sitting there with her whole crotch showing. That's not something anyone should be seeing.

Get her some shorts with lycra/spandex/nylon in them, that way her dress will slid around on them and not cling.

We have these in J. about every color. Any dance store that sells leotards and shorts should have this style short. They are slick and the clothes slide around over them.

http://www.bodywrappers.com/details.php?id=450

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C.B.

answers from Reno on

My daughter who is 10 likes the shorts under her dresses.

At her school the girls have to wear shorts under their little jumpers they have. When they are fourth grade and up they have skorts but if they wear the skirt they have to wear the shorts.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I never wore shorts under my dresses, and I wouldn't make my daughter if I had one.

J. remind her to behave in a lady-like way and not climb on things where she'll show off her undies.

ETA: And no, Jim, even though the media would love us all to believe that it is soooooo dangerous and full of terrible people, the world is actually full of good people. Bad people are outliers. The statistics don't lie.

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L.M.

answers from Houston on

My daughter wears 'playground pants'. I think that's what they're called from Target. Or she could wear boy short cut underwear...

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

I only have boys, but I've been around plenty of girls who do NOT wear shorts under dresses. I am with you - no big deal.

Also, I do not believe clothing will change the behavior of a predator. However, we have a *long* history of victim-blaming based on clothes, and I wouldn't want to give any girl the message that her choice of clothes could be responsible for how OTHERS behave.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

If it has only been a year and you have already forgotten then it wasn't that big of an epiphany. Seriously...don't worry about it.

Girls usually wear shorts under their skirts or dresses if they plan to roll around playing, hang upside down on the monkey bars or have been teased by others saying "I can see your panties".

My daughter is now 10 and still loves to wear dresses and skirts. She doesn't wear shorts underneath. At recess she walks around chatting with friends, plays with jumpropes or blacktop games. She is not doing activities that make her skirt/dress go up.

If you aren't worried and your daughter isn't worried then don't worry about what others are doing.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I see no reason for shorts if she does not want them, now if she wanted to not wear underwear that would be different, but undies cover all the important bits.

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F.A.

answers from Charlotte on

School systems are trying to be more PC. I would invest in a variety of frilly bloomers. Its a small cost and actually can make an out fit more fun anyways!

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

my daughter is 8 and she LOVES to wear dresses. Today she picked one out that was from last year. She has grown a lot and the dress was really short. Way too short. So I told her she can either pick to wear either shorts or capris under it. I mean it was so short now that if she bent over, you could see her behind, lol! If her dress is long enough (close to knee length) then I dont make her wear shorts under. That's only during school though. Summer time, she can wear anything she wants as long as everything is covered that needs to be.

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J.J.

answers from Allentown on

Well i gotta say at this age I don't see it why she would need shorts. You can try to teach some modestly, but in the end she is 6 or 7, not 14. She would be J. as exposed in a swim suit, maybe more so, and no one has a problem with that. There is no reason in my mind to put shorts under a dress. My daughter was sitting in church one week with a dress, wiggling around, I told her to sit right as undies were showing and she did some but not completely, and she will get it in time. They all will learn to not hang upside down or flip their dress up while sitting on the floor. But right now they are learning. and they are young. My daughter is 7, will be 8 in a few months. And she does not wear shorts under her dress.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Back in "my day" we didn't wear shorts under our dresses, and we also didn't hang upside down on the monkey bars or sit criss-cross-applesauce on those days either. We knew to sit on our knees. I'm betting my mom never wore shorts under her dresses either. She learned to act like a lady in a dress. However we also survived no helmets when riding bikes, no seatbelts and no child seats in the cars past toddler age. I think we also ran around the neighborhood freely!

The landscape is much different nowadays and you have to roll with the times. I sent my daughter to school with those spandex/cotton shorts under her dresses because that's what all the girls were expected to do. We also bought the skirts that had shorts attached underneath. That doesn't mean I didn't teach her to be modest! One has nothing to do with the other.

Now my daughter is a cheerleader. Those briefs are always flashing while she dances and flips! It's J. the times...roll with 'em!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I totally agree.. I never wore shorts under dresses.. and my daughter doesn't either.. I don't see the big deal of a 6 year old boy seeing my 6 year old girls undies.. I don't think boys are perverted at 6.

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E.N.

answers from Knoxville on

When I was at Target last week they had some packs of shorts J. for this purpose. Someone had opened one of them so I took a closer look. I thought, "What a great idea!" Well, when I took a close look they J. looked like boyshorts style underwear. They were more like the high school volleyball teams or cheer teams shorts. Almost some "cheek" hanging out! I would rather someone see my daughters Dora or My Little Pony cotton panties than to see something so tight on her that nothing is left to know! Plus, they looked like a heat rash/yeast infection in the making. We are a cotton panty family!!!
I like the skirts with the shorts made into them, and skorts and such, but I know that I would get too hot with shorts and a skirt even if they came together. Hopefully my girls wont sweat like a man like their mommy does. Blech!

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S.S.

answers from Cleveland on

In kindergarten, we made our girls wear shorts or tights under skirts.

Now in first grade, we do not make them wear shorts under skirts; however, we have tried to teach them over and over again how to sit like a lady. And, if they have to sit indian style in class, how to tuck their skirt down in their legs. They needed to understand why sitting like a lady is important, and how their undies shouldn't made visible for everyone to see.

Now that they are getting bigger, i miss the skirts that J. automatically came with built in shorts! Then there wasn't a worry as to what to decide what to do!

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Moms put shorts under dresses because they're too young to keep their dress down. It's a big deal because under garments are not the same as a bathing suit. If it were the same women would be walking around like Victoria Secret models in public. You're training your daughter and other children the difference if they don't already know. On top of that, there are early birds who like to look up skirts or lift up skirts or talk about it all and it's inappropriate. It's our job as parents to curb all of that but dressing out children appropriately.

I always thought it to be ridiculous to put bike shorts under dresses. I want my daughter to have the freedom to play without worrying about keeping her dress down. She is 8 and still doesn't always push her dress between her legs when she's sitting on the floor. Why bother wearing a dress if she has to wear shorts under it. So my daughter never wears dresses to school. She has worn skorts (skirts and shorts mixed). It's a nice compromise. She wears dresses on the weekend and summer dresses during the summer. But at school she gets more freedom by not wearing dresses.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I guess one way to look at it is would you let your son run around in public with his underwear showing? Why should it be different for girls?

My almost 6 year old daughter always wears shorts or leggings (even jeans in the winter) under her dresses and skirts. We have taught her to be modest and to keep her private parts private. We have a lot of conversations about what is appropriate clothing for different situations. We also talk about what clothing is appropriate for her age and what she will be doing. I don't necessarily care if she wears shorts or not under her dresses in the summer (winter is a different story since we live in Minnesota). But she is very active and she is more comfortable with shorts, because she doesn't have to be self-conscious, or worry that someone is going to see something she doesn't want them to see. At the beach or pool she either wears a rash guard suit (shorts and shirt) or a swim skirt over her suit. She would never wear a bikini! Again her choice-That is what she is comfortable with. At home, I could care less. Both of my kids live in their underwear at home.

One caution about biker shorts. Make sure that they are made with a breathable fabric and don't fit skin tight. It is possible to get yeast infections, UTI infections, and bladder infections if you wear tight fitting bottoms that don't breathe and even if they do breathe but fit really tight. (speaking for personal experience!)

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P.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I work at a girls group home. The young ladies wear shorts under their dresses and we do not,,(staff), because they do cartwheels, rolls and lay in the grass. The most we do is climb the stairs and sit in chairs.
I would like to add that modesty must be taught at an early age. Its kind of too late when they become a adolescent want to show to much cleavage or wear a pair of pants that show a camel toe...then you will have a battle that could have been prevented at a young age. You'll have plenty of battle anyway, this could be preventive parenting.

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

Ditto Elyse E! I don't think this a choice between a "right" and a "wrong" course of action or something you need to be "convinced" of. I personally think it's a non issue if I occasionally see a baby's/toddler's/child's diaper or underwear.

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