Need Help Deciding What to Do with My Marriage

Hi L.
I sounds to me like he is useing the dog as a excuse not to live with your parents. As a man he feels his #1 job is to provide for his family,and by living with your parents he probably feels he is not doing his job so his trying to find other ways to do this. I think you need to sit down with him and have a CALM and in deepth talk about what you really need to do. Can you cut everthing that is not a must have. I am not sure what other options you have but please don't take it personally your husband is feeling like a failer and not a good provider so sit down with him and let him know how great he is. Good Luck T.

I agree w/ the poster below, he has a hurt ego right now. I wouldn't take it personally. I know our dog is a part of our family, and we would be devestated if we had to let her go.

I think you do need to sit down with him, and your finances and figure out if you truly need to move in w/ your parents. If you do, then you both need to come up w/ a plan for your dog. Whether that be a temp home where you all can visit. I am sure he feels like he is abandoning that dog, and that has to be hard on him as well as feeling failure for not being able to take care of his family. Hang in there...it will all work out eventually. Good Luck!

Hi L.,

Moving in with your parent's and losing the dog as well would be a hard blow for your husband. He would feel like he can't keep things together and I'm sure he would feel less than. Not saying he would be, but men have this cave man bring home the bacon mentality. By him not wanting to go is his way of taking control of a situation in which he feels he lost control.

A few months isn't very long. It would be shame to lose the dog for a time span that short. Would you be breaking a lease. A lot of places still require that you pay what you owe. Can you cut back on eating out, movies, or other miscell. things. We had to do all that and also find pretty good deals at consignment shops on clothes for our daughter. Times are hard and people are giving up a lot to thrift stores for tax write offs. There's some good stuff there. I would sit down and really focus on what other options there are.

What kind of dog do you have? Is he big or small? Sometime you can put them in a foster home until you get back up on your feet?

Did you have your dog before your daughter? It could be that your dog was your pre-kid...as is ours...our first baby...my husband is very attached to our dog and would hate to be in your situation as well.
What kind of dog do you have? My neighbor and dear friend was in WAGGERS for quite some time and has fostered dozens of dogs. She might be able to help out? Are you around Oconomowoc at all?

I agree with the other posters that your husband may not want to live with your parents, and the dog is a good excuse.

Also, you said you want to live with your parents for a "few months". Provided you're not going to get evicted, I wonder what good such a short amount of time will do financially. I mean, if we're talking 3-4 months, is it worth losing your dog over?

I'm assuming you're in an apartment, and it could be hard to find another dog-friendly apartment. Also, moving is VERY expensive. You have to think about time off work, packing supplies, moving trucks, where are you going to store your stuff while you're at your parents, etc. Also, then when you move into a new place, you will have the damage deposit, utility hook-ups, and so on.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, will moving right now be a good thing long-term, or is it just going to create more debt?

Financial struggles can certainly put a strain on a marriage. One thing I would recommend to anyone with financial issues is to start tracking EVERY cent you spend. Even the $.75 chips out of a vending machine. Do that for a month and then you and your husband can sit down and see where the money is going.