i am having a major problema with all four of my children with not wanting to listen and fightinng with each other ive tried everything nothing seems to work my children are 10 8 7 6 three boys one girl. the only thing that has changed is their grandfather died A year ago. i ave tooken things away from them i have done the reward chart and tmeout it works for like a coue days then no more
You need to be more specific. What are their ages? What have you tried? Is this a recent development or have they been like this for a while? Are you married/ do you have help with the kids? Has anything changed in their lives recently?
I general, I find my kids listen to me better when I make an effort to listen to them.
How old are they? Has something changed within the family dynamic? Are they old enough to understand consequences?
When we had issues with our daughter, we removed priviliges. It was amazing that her heart was broken if a special toy, CHI flat iron, etc got removed from her room.
If something bigger is going on and you can't communicate with your children, maybe you need to seek a counselor to help the family with communications.
Another point has already been made but I completely agree.... LISTEN to them.
Helpful/Listening Chart:
Stickers when you see active listening, good behavior
Get certain amount of stickers and then prize at the end of the week. We do 7 days of this and then they get a prize.
Positive reinforcement really helps. Hang in there!!! Good communication, eye contact and patience is key--
Good Luck!
Separating them when they do, no matter who started it, is very helpful. If they are younger, they want to play with each other. If you send them to their rooms each and every time they start this stuff, then after a week of you doing it INCESSANTLY, they will start to police each other (like one saying to the other "Don't argue or mom will separate us!")
However, if you find that one child is trying to boss around the other kids so that the other kids don't seem to get a say in anything, separate THAT kid so he or she doesn't get "too big for their pants", so to speak.
You have to give them a consequence that is swift and consistent, and I believe that this is the best one.
By the way, when they are given this consequence, NO TV, no electronics, no computer. You want them to be bored without each other.
Dawn
Read "Love and Logic"
