Need Help - 5 Year Old Is Afraid to Sleep in Her Room!

I agree, Have a talk with her about the movie to find out what actually scared her and let her know its only in the movie and they arent in the room. Does she have stuffed animals, if not you can always bring her to the store to get a couple of stuffed animals and let her know they will protect her at night, you can put them up around her and say they will protect you while you sleep and keep you safe.

You can always get a spray bottle and put water in it even add a little food coloring and tell her it keeps away the bad things, all depending on what is scaring her from the movie.

Good Luck

i agree with suzi that you may want to get the movie and watch it with her. that's what i've done with my son. it shows him that i'm not afraid, and the more he sees it the less scared he is.

i also think your pediatrician is an idiot - does this person even have kids?? do NOT lock your child in her room if she's terrified. omg can you imagine the horror she'd feel? please don't do that to her.

my best advice, other than watching the movie with her, is to not make a big deal of it. don't punish her or make her feel ashamed of being scared. it's not like she's doing this because she's wanting to pull one over on you - she's scared for pete's sake. give her some slack, it could be worse. she could be insisting to sleep with you. relax a bit about it and try to help her with her problem instead of trying to find a way to make her sleep in her own room. fix the actual issue and the symptom will fix itself.

good luck!

I think you need to find out what movie it was and sit down and watch it with her. Show her that you are not afraid. Stop it at times on your screen and show her how it's just a movie, just pretend. Maybe even get some pictures of movies being made. Find some behind the scenes stuff online to show her. She's 5. If she's a normal 5 year old she does have the intellect to be shown how movies are made and understand it.

I ABSOLUTELY do not believe what the doctor said. I just can't count the ways it makes me uncomfortable to lock up a child. I know that some children are wrecking their homes and sneaking out of the house and doing things that would maybe require it at last ditch effort. But that is not this situation at all.

Suzi

When our sons are scared, we talk to them about how God is with them even when we can't be, and we pray that Jesus would make any bad guys go away. It really helps them to know that He is watching out for them.
Please don't lock her in the room. That sounds absolutely awful. I can't imagine how a pediatrician coiuld recommend that.

D.-
I really feel for you. Hang in there. I agree with the others who mentioned talking to her about God will protect her. I think it is important to recognize her fear and not dismiss it. If she thinks there is a monster, to her there really is. What about sitting in her room until she falls asleep or even laying with her in her bed? If she wakes up and comes into your room I would say, do it again. That is what we do with my daughter when she was scared, and it always seems to work. I use the monster spray too and my son loves it (spray bottle with water and then I say a magic spell to cast out the monsters - works for me). Good Luck!

Good Morning D., Hopefully you will get some excellent advice and work this out. I would suggest finding the movie she watched then sit down and watch it together. Have her show you exactly what scared her so much. Then watch the rest together. It may help her if your together, and let her talk about it.

It's just an idea. Hope you can work it out soon.

God Bless
K. Nana of 5
PS. I think your Ped is a Jerk to even suggest locking a child in their room. OMG Even jokingly is SO not Cool at all.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Want to Slap some sense into him

Diana,
I really don't have any ideas. but I just wanted to tell you. don't beat yourself up. you are a great mother and that has nothing to do with it. alot of people go through this. my neice turned 4 june 21st and is not wanting to stay at my house anymore. because misses mommy. they live 5minutes away. it is something every kid goes through. my sister made a chart and gave her something tp work for. do you have a church home??? get some books and let her pick out what you read to her at night. Get the kssing hand book. it is my favorite. best wishes.. remember you are a great mom

Instead of trying punishments and stuff, maybe try a little extra love and attention than she's used to at bedtime. Maybe pick up a book that she might like at the library about bedtime or about kids being scared of things like the dark. Hope you figure something out! Good luck.

My son has fought sleep since he was born, even before we left the hospital, so I've always had sleep issues with him. I didn't know what to do with my daughter when she was born, because she slept all the time and has always gone to bed easily. My son has gone through quite a few periods where he was scared to sleep in his room, and it always started out that he really was scared and then would progress to where he would just use it to get attention and a way to not have to go to sleep. The first time it happened he was maybe 3 or even 2 and he was terrified of dinosaurs in his room. We eventually figured out that he had seen part of jurasic park when it was on tv, so we have been VERY careful of what he watches since then. If it is rated anything higher than G I don't let him watch it if I haven't seen it first. Also, we have tried different night lights, playing soft music, and even "Magic Spray". They all worked somewhat for a while, the magic spray seems to have worked the best. I just got some body mist and told him scary things don't like the pretty smell so they will stay away when you spray it. He actually got out of bed the first night after doing his room and sprayed some in the bathroom and his little sister's room, and he told his grandma that it really worked. I never want to tell him monsters are real, so I wouldn't call it monster spray, but I figured if it made him feel more secure in his own bed it couldn't possible hurt. I would definitly not put a lock on her door, I'd be afraid that would traumatize the poor child. Good luck, I'm sure it will get better eventually! I have had other family with children who have the same issues, and it always gets better after a while, maybe when whatever it was that frightened them isn't so fresh in their minds.

Please do not resort to putting a lock on her door, how traumatizing for a little girl. What may seem unreasonable to us as adults is a very real fear to her and she has no control over it. To help her get that control back you need to put a chair beside her bed and agree to sit there until she falls asleep and then over the next couple of nights move the chair closer to the door until eventually you are in the chair outside her room ( this does take a while ) but eventually she will sleep through the nights without needing the reassurance that you are right next to her.
I would get her back in a good bedtime routine, and take extra care with bedtime story choices, maybe get some books from the library that talk about bad dreams, imagination etc.
I know its stressful for you right now, I wish you and your little girl lots of luck.
Not sure if you are religious or not but it doesn't hurt when saying bedtime prayers to remind her God is watching over her.
Also maybe silly but I remember a time when my little girl slept with a nightlight And a flashlight for a Long time.
Good Luck!
B.

Have you tried a nightlight and "monster spray"? Maybe go in the room and turn the nightlight on and spray the room with your invisible monster spray and sit there with her in the dark for a little while to show her there are no monsters. I definitely would not lock her in the room. That will make it worse. I was afraid of the dark when I was little because a babysitter locked me in a closet. A nightlight helped.

Has she told you what actually scares her? Have you tried to lay down with her in her room untils she goes to sleep. That would show her that you know that there is nothing to be afraid of or you wouldn't let her sleep in her room alone. Then when she is asleep you can just leave. When she does fall asleep in your room have you tried to move her to your room? You may try just moving where she sleeps in your room closer and closer to the door, hall, her door, then her bed over a period of time. How old is the other child. Could they sleep in her room with her for a short period of time. I wish I could give you a sure thing but all I have are a few suggestions. I agree with the lock. That sounds mean. Good luck

D., My son saw about 10 minutes of a movie when he was 7 and COMPLETELY freaked out. It was the movie Mars Attacks, it's supposed to be silly and stupid and FUNNY. Nope he just lost it. He ended up in our bed for about a week. You might try calmly discussing what would make her feel better, door open or closed? Night lights? Cuddly toy? But you've probably done that, I think it's one of those things that only time can take care of.

Good Luck, M.

Dream catchers and monster spray... Go on-line and look up the story of the dream catcher (it's pretty cool) and read it to her...then take her to pick out a dream catcher..Some dollar stores even have them so you could get several...They "prevent" the scary stuff from staying in the room. While your at it for extra protection, buy monster spray...she may be too old for that, but the dream catchers worked for my kids. Worth a try anyway. Good luck.

I don't know the solution, but to even think about locking a small child in her room is absurd! I can't imagine anyone, let alone a doctor, suggesting this!
I don't know if this would work with her, but when my oldest was 3 or so, she went through a phase where she didn't want me to leave her room until she was asleep at night. She said she was scared to fall asleep by herself, but had never had issues before. I decided after a couple of weeks of this that I didn't want her to become dependant on me staying in there so I came up with the "sleeping princess". The sleeping princess only comes if you go to bed in your bed and fall asleep all by yourself. She is kind of like the toothfairy, she only comes with you are asleep and she leaves a small present, either under the pillow or on the nightstand. (I stocked up on little stuff from the dollar store) This worked like a charm! We did this for a couple of weeks or so, and then after I felt like we were done with the issue, explained to her that it was time for the sleeping princess to move onto to another child that needed her help. I told her that on the last night she comes, she brings an extra special gift. I can't remember what I gave her, but it was something that she had been wanting...a big girl gift for being so brave. We never had anymore problems after that. My sister also did the sleeping princess with her daughter and it worked for her to. I imagine it probably depends on the child and the age, but something to consider.
Good luck!

What may help is first you look at every place in her room and show her t is safe, a night light, nothing hanging that could look scary undder the shadow of the light. then in a salt shaker, put some talc powder and tell her it is called angel dust, to protect the house form anything. let her even sprinkle it. It worked with 5 kids in our family they all go throught a phase they just need a litle reassurrance that night time is safe.

We frequently have to use Monster Spray at our house. I like Febreeze, actually. But I went a different route than the rest of the suggestions. I told my boys that they have a monster under their bed, who eats any bad dreams that might try to sneak in. I had them describe what the monster looks like, and what its name is. Each night, we tell each monster goodnight, and don't spray under the bed, just on top and in the closet. I'm sure this won't work for every kid, but it's worked great for mine. (Plus, their rooms smell really good, heehee.)
I'd be interested to know what movie had such an effect on your poor daughter. {HUGS}

NO lock, please!!! How terrifying for a child, I can't imagine and just think if you had a fire in your home. If it was discovered you had locked your child in their room, you can be arrested depending on the circumstances. Why not try
a sleepover party at your house? Let her and a couple of her friends stay in her room and see if it passes. If it doesn't, then time. I was a child with a great deal of fears and my parents didn't handle it well and now some of them are still with me.

Good luck,
D.

First of all, please don't beat yourself up about this!! You're child is having a fear, which is causing her behavior. No matter how awfully it has disrupted your household in the past couple of weeks, you are certainly not qualified for Nanny 911!! I also agree that locks on doors, especially locking a child into thier room, is not appropriate and shame on the pediatrician for suggesting that to you.

While I have no suggestions to give you, I am going to give you the name of a sleep specialist, who is a genius. She is very well know and my family and friends and myself have used her successfully! Nancy Birkenmeier, ###-###-####. She is at the St. Lukes Sleep Medicine and Research Center.

You could also look at www.sleepfoundation.org

Good luck with it, I sympathize with you and your frustration. I hope this helps.

I am by no means an expert but I do think that punishment is not the way to go. If she truly is terrified this is not going to help. Locking her in her room seems somewhat abusive to me. She may be too old, not sure, but I have heard good luck with "anti-monster" spray. (Or whatever it was from this movie that she is scared of) Just get a water bottle and make a label for it. Let her believe this is really a special potion that you have purchased special for her. At night, let her spray this around her room; under the bed, in the closet, around the windows, etc. Maybe it would even help to lay in her room with her at night until she falls asleep if she is still scared. This may not work at all but is worth a try. Good luck!

Locking her in her room will only enforce that you are not there for her when she feels she needs you. If THAT is the message you want to send, then go that route. I would avoid monster sprays, etc because you will only teach your child 2 things 1) you will confirm that there are monsters that need to be destroyed 2) you will teach her it is good to lie.

I would find out the name of the movie and what scene she watched so you know what exactly it is that scared her. If there is a way to explain and demonstrate the concept of dressing up to be those scary creatures or people...let her act it out for you and then ask her if SHE was really a bad monster or whatever it was that scared her....she was 'pretending'. I would also plan for a longer night routine for the next week at least. Offer her extra snuggles and explain how you are going to give her extra time right now, but then she will need to go to her own bed. Tell her there is nothing dangerous in her room and that you are just in the other room if she needs you, but you hope to see her stay safe in her bed until the sun wakes up. Look out the window and see the darkness and say the sun is sleeping to differentiate, but she should understand I am sure. Expect for the first couple of nights for her to test you out to see if you really will be there. If she comes to you, again offer snuggles but then take her back to her bed after 3-5 min. Be sure your last words in addition to "I love you" are "see you when the sun wakes up". I think you can get her back to her good routine in 3 days to a week, but she may still need some verbal reassurance in addition to some extra hugs. Good luck!

B. :)

D.-
Poor little thing. I have a four year old and she just seems to come in and out of this fear that there is something in her room. I am floored that your pediatrician suggested a lock! YIKES!
We have a nightlight in our four year old's room and she has a flashlight in bed with her. Myself or my husband takes her to bed every night and tells her a story of her choice. Sometimes she goes right to sleep, sometimes it's as long as 30 minutes later she will scream for Mommy or Daddy. When she is having a fear issue, we ask her what she sees and where. Sometimes she is brave enough to get out of bed and walk over to it with us, other times not. We will walk to what she sees and shine the light on it, sometimes it was a stuffed animal that got left on the floor and knocked over and it is casting an odd shadow, sometimes there is nothing where she is pointing. Whatever it is that she says she sees, a dinosaur or a monster or a dragon or whatever. We ask it to leave her room and go home to it's Mommy. It seems to work for her. (Now sometimes there are more than one, so we have to go to more than one spot, which sometimes makes me question whether she is really scared or just trying to stay awake, but we always keep the routine the same.)
The flashlight is always were she can reach it without leaving her bed. (She has two, so that one can always easily be found before going to sleep!)
I also purchased a book called Maggie and the Monster when she had just turned 3 (which is when this started for us). This may have helped, because Maggie sees a monster in her room every night and tells her mom about it. She also sees a monster in the hall closet. One day her mom suggests she ask the monster what it wants. So that night Maggie asks the monster what it wants, it is looking for it's Mommy. So Maggie takes the monster to the hall closet and there is it's Mommy and Maggie goes back to bed.
The book may have helped with us asking whatever is scaring her to go back to it's Mommy. Not sure, but it works for us!
I know it is frustrating, but just try and maintain patience with her and you will pull through this. Remember she is not going to want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy when she is 15!
Best wishes! J.

I definetly do NOT agree with your pediatician. Maybe trying to talk to her about the movie will help some. Also to get her out of your room get her back in her bed by staying with her til she falls asleep in her own bed or even sleeping in her room too for a few nights.

I agree that watching the video with her and kind of walking her through it and letting her see how it comes out in the end would be a good idea.

I also think talking to her about God watching over her is a great idea! If that is in line with your beliefs then I highly recommend getting the song/video for Veggie Tales song "God is Bigger Than The Boogie Man". It's a very cute song about realizing that He's always there for them and is much bigger than anything they think might be trying to hurt them. You might even come up with your own little prayer at bedtime to bless her room to keep anything bad out. You could try using annoited oil (just household oil that you pray over) rather than the colored water in a spray bottle and use it on her doors and windows.

No matter what route you go, don't get frustrated and DON'T lock her in her room, that gives the fear more power than it needs!
Good luck!

If you can, maybe try sleeping in her room with her for a night or two. Maybe if she becomes comfortable in her room again, then she can get used to the idea of being in there by herself. Make sure you check all of the hiding spots!

We put a nightlight in the room with our girls. I get a lot of "I'm afraid of the dark" arround bedtime to get attention and stall. However, we were at the dollar store the other day, and they have glow in the dark balls. I charge them up and give them to them each night now and they are happy. Sometimes simple little things work? We also sing a song that I have been singing since I was little. "God has not given us the Spirit of Fear (3X), but of Love and of Joy and a Sound Mind." It helps too.

Talk to a child psychologist, I am alomst positive they will agree locking her in is a bad idea. In fact, they can probably recommend a gentel way to ease her fears and get her back in her room. Have you tried letting her sleep with the lights on? I hate to say it, but I slept with my light on from age 5-9. I was terrified of the dark by myself. We gradually moved from all my lights to a closet light, to a hallway light, to a light down the hallway, to nothing. (somehow, they always "burnt out" when my paretns were encouraging me to move to slightly less light, smart parents).

I have been scared too in my childhood at times. Try everyone moving to her room and let her sleep there too, like in your room. Maybe she will calm down enough to know the rooms are alike.

I read years ago about a mom having the same problem.
She got a squirt bottle & put water & a drop of her perfume in it, she called it "Monster Spray". Every night she & the child went around the room spraying scary spots: the closet, windows, under the bed. Of course, you have to come up w/ a good story to go along w/ this, like how even the scariest monster won't come near when he smells the "Monster Spray"!
A bedtime prayer won't hurt either.
Good Luck!

I have a daughter who used to be very afraid at night. I put a night light in her room and gave her a little flashlight she kept under her pillow. I would still have to lay with her until she went to sleep some nights.
I think the thing that made the most difference though, was that I found her an angel picture that I hung at the head of the bed and an angel figurine that sat on a table right by her bed. I told her God's angels were always surrounding and protecting her, even when she was asleep, and I always prayed with her when she went to bed and we always asked for angels to protect her and give her sweet dreams. Now she's grown and she said those are some of her best memories and she does the same for her daughter now.

Sorry to read this. It breaks my heart also. You have to retrick her mind(1) First I would sleep in her room with her for a few days.(2) Let her pick out a new lamp for her room(or a light bulb for her lamp).(3) You could all ways video her while she is asleep to reasure her that everything is fine. Tell her that its movie night and pop some popcorn.
I know that kids are smarter then we can think at the age of 5.

Hi D.,

I do not agree with your daughter's pediatrician's suggestion about locking her door. This is actually considered a fire hazard. God forbid, should she need to get out, she wouldn't be able to. Please don't put the lock on her door.

Instead, I would recommend if at all possible, that you sleep in her room with her for a few nights to show her that there is nothing scary about it. Your daughter sounds like a very reasonable child and in her mind the movie she watched was real. So, just take baby steps to get her back in her room and show her that it isn't scary. I'm sure after a couple of weeks of getting comfortable back in her room, she'll be alright. Also, have you tried putting in a nightlight? If she doesn't have one yet, maybe this might help. Let us know what works. Good luck!

When my daughter went through an "afraid of everything" phase, we watched Veggie Tales, "Where's God when I'm S-scared". It really helped her out. Whenever she'd start to feel afraid, we'd start singing "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" and she'd start to giggle and was ok.

D.,

May I suggest that you maybe watch the movie first. Come up with ideas to make it fun and silly. Then watch it together and talk to her about the movie and how's it all pretend. Explain the movie on how they may have done the silly thing and that's its not real and make it where she's sitting right next to you very close and make it a Popcorn and surprise (candy)sitting.

Kids just want your time and you be surprise how they respond.
Tell her you will always be close by and make fun of the movie if possible. Show how silly it really is..........use your imagination....The biggest thing is to make her not anxious........ Good luck.....