I know this is just a phase, but we're not getting anywhere with it. Every night we put our daughter to bed, she comes out and says she's scared. We say things like, you're safe, mommy and daddy only leave you in places you are safe, we're right down stairs to make sure you're safe. I've tried recognizing her feelings...You're scared, mommy used to get scared when she was little too. We've tried thinking of happy things she likes, and we've tried saying prayers. Saying prayers has actually worked the best, but doesn't always work. We've also asked what she's scared of and she doesn't really know.
She also used to play upstairs all by herself, but now she's too scared to do so unless her little brother is up there.
Any tips, suggestions, advice from experience? Thanks for your help.
Similar to Angie's advice...we bought a lava lamp as a night light. It's bright enough to light up the room, but not so bright that it interferes with his sleep.
My son is 3 and 1/2 years old and has been doing this sort of thing for awhile too. I posted about it on this site and got some really good suggestions if you want to go back to my profile and look at it. What we finally ended up doing is getting a soft 15 watt bulb to put in a lamp to keep on at night. It gives off more light than a nightlight, but isn't super bright like the regular room light. He doesn't get up as often, but if he does we make up a bed for him on the floor in our room. It has been more than a week with fairly great success and 3 or 4 nights now that he has slept in his own bed. Yay! If she is scared of falling asleep by herself you may need to sit with her, read stories, sing songs or play soft music until she falls asleep. We have to do that too. Good luck to you.
A.
We used Monster Spray w/our oldest daughter when we moved into a new house. when she was about 3 or 4. Just fill up a water bottle & go around the room - spray the closet, the window sills, under the bed .........anywhere she thinks they are. And if it's not monsters, spray away at anything she is afraid of, it's only water. It worked like a charm. Good luck!
At a time when you are not putting her to bed, ask her what frightens her about HER room that does not frighten her about other rooms of the house. That may give you insight as to what to do to give her the power to make it better - whether it be monster spray or checking her closet with a flashlight, or whatever. It may even be that she has had some sleep parasomnias, which can feel so very real, and so she is associating that with the room.
My younger daughter actually was hearing voices (she was later (mis?)diagnosed with a childhood-onset schizophrenia see http://www.ItsNotMental.com). Even so, there were ways she empowered herself although older than your daughter when she thought them up - they may help - a dog accompanying her, bells on her bedroom door as an alarm - stuff like that.
Personally, I think it's a ploy to stay up longer... She's discovered that you'll engage her if she tells you she's scared. Sorry - I'm a cynic.
This worked well for us:
Give her a flashlight - the shakey kind that don't require batteries. Tell her if she gets worried, to turn it on.
Give her an empty squirt bottle and label it Magic Spray... Tell her that she can spray anything that makes her nervous and it will disappear.
YMMV
LBC
Yes, we went through the exact same thing with our son-even the part about being afraid to go upstairs in the daytime w/o his younger brother. What helped was getting a second nightlight for his room. Also, my husband used to stay upstairs in our bedroom and use the computer until he fell asleep.
i leave the hall light on until mine fall asleep. i also tell my kids that as long as they start off asleep in their rooms they can come into my room if they wake up scared. 9 times out of ten, they sleep all night.
I think it's because they are becoming so much more aware. They also know what fear is now. My 4yo just started being scared of heights. The last time at the park she wouldn't go down the "fireman pole". She's been doing that since she was 2 1/2! I don't pressure, I just do what you do, reassure. I know she will work through it, she just needs support. Yesterday she told me she wants to go back and try it again. So we will see. Keep talking with her, maybe see if she needs something special to help (stuffed animal, hallway nightlight, dream catcher, etc.). She will get through it (and so will you). Good luck :)
mm the only thing that i have is what i did with my daughter about this... i took her to the toy store and i told her that she could pick out any stuff animal she wants. but the one she picks is also going to protect her! well she picked a lil kitty anyways i told her that every time that she is scared just to tell her new protecter kitty that she was and that would protect her!! it worked for us kinda silly but what ever gets the job done lol hope this helps
Whatever she is afraid of is REAL to her, even though she can't tell you what it is. I found having a bedtime routine..ie: bath, jammies, teeth, book, talk about the day, snuggles...night-night helped alot. It gave them time to wind down. It didn't always work. My oldest was like a rubber band. Put her in bed/she gets out over and over. I couldn't stand the cry it out method (I think it is cruel and unusual punishment) so I would just go sit with her for a few minutes...no talking, no drinks of water etc. It only took a few minutes. Well worth the wait! Regardless of what the fear is, your little one needs to know you are there for her. The "wind down" routine will help her relax and she will be asleep before you know it!
Leave small light on, give her a toy that has a light or a toy that you record a message into, definitely leave the door open. She's imaginative at this age. Be sure she doesn't see any more scary images than necessary and discuss them with her if she does.
I was going to suggest Monster Spray (or whatever you choose to call it) too!
It's been a few years, but I remember using a wonderful video from Veggie
Tales that talks about being scared and has a great song in it about "God is bigger than the Boogie Man". After watching the video several times, my daughter and I would sing the song together before she went to bed and after a short time, the issue was gone.
K.
I LOVE monster spray, let her spray it and it is giving her the power toget rid of what is scaring her. I refused to use nightlights because I read that a child that sleeps with a nightlight is more likely to have miopia (sp) and I HATED wearing glasses so I didn't want to do anything that might cause my children to need them (yes I know they can make anything sound like it causes anything else). Good luck.
