My three year old has always been a pretty good sleeper. About a year ago, he began sleeping in his own bed through the night. Recently (last few weeks), though, he's become increasingly afraid of "monsters in my bedroom." He woke up three times last night crying about the monsters. He doesn't want a night light and I can't seem to figure out where the fear of monsters is coming from. Does anybody have any ideas for how to make him feel safe in his own bedroom again?
Thanks so much for all your help, ladies! I considered the monster spray, but then worried he'd end up thinking monsters were real instead of outgrowing this phase. Last night, as we were having "play time" in his room before bathtime, I asked if he would like a night light. He had always said no to this, but he finally said yes. Daddy plugged it in and I asked my son to turn out the light so he could see how the night light worked. He told me he was scared, that if he turned out the light, there would be monsters. So, we worked on a sentence to say when we're scared. He says, "Jesus makes me not scared." (we're Christians) What was so hilarious is that he said the sentence, then said, "Come on, Jesus!" and went to turn off the light. Too funny! The night light came on and he decided that was cool. He slept through the night last night without one interruption. WOO HOO!!
Thanks again for all your help!
My 2 year old started the same thing. It all started when we watched Monsters Inc.
So my mother suggested that I ask him if it was Mike Wisowski or Sully.
I know this won't solve the problem, but it's still fun to hear the answer!
Good Luck!
My friend tried this and it worked for her......her daughter was afraid of the monsters in her closet too. She got a plain white spray bottle and made a label on it that said monster spray and filled it with water. At bedtime they would spray the closet to keep the monsters away. It worked! I thought that this was a cute idea because her daughter really thought they were real and just telling her nothing was in there didn't work. Good luck!
I have had the same problem with my 4 year old son and the advice I got was to use "Monster Spray." Take a spray bottle and put water in it and add a little food coloring and spray the room. Spray under the bed, in the closet, anywhere the monster's come out of. Tell him that the spray will take care of any monster.
Give him a little flash light. Tell him it is a magic torch/light that gets rid of monsters. Whenever he feels scared tell him to turn on his magic light and the monsters will run away and never come back. Also, if you have some home air freshner in a can, have you and him spray it around his room before he goes to bed as a "monster repellent".
Where are the 'monsters'?Under the bed?In the closet?Has he watched any shows,movies that are monster related?I would make a big fuss about checking for these monsters and making sure none were in his room.Buy him a foam base ball bat to take in bed with him so that if the 'monsters' by chance sneak by your inspection he can be safe during the night.That might be all he needs..good luck..
S. B
I have a 4 year old granddaughter who is also going thru the same thing only she shares a room with her littler sister who is now 15 months old and looks up to big sister so now the problem is double....so we took the big sister and (let little sissy come along and watch)asked her where are all of the monsters in her room and in the house and we will tell them to leave and leave her and her sister alone.....this so far has done the trick....remember the child has to interact with you for instance looking under the bed she would be looking too and tell the monster to leave make sure you look in every area no matter how rediculous....this way she took back control of her own situation.....and it showed her she was not helpless.......
Hi Rebecca, My daughter used to have the same concerns. I took a spray bottle (find one with a fine mist) and filled it with water and called it monster away spray. I sprayed it everywhere in her room. (Quick Squirts). Under the bed, in the closet, even on her. I also put a night light in the bath room which is not in her face but there. Just know that monsters and 3 year olds are quite familiar with each other. I think it has something to do with the fact that they are being to dream but I am no expert. Take care.
A little about me.
I am mom with a 8 year old daughter. I own a Consulting company that I run from home. My husband owns his own business and our family is complete with a cat and a hermet crab.
Try sitting in his room at night (in the dark) and see what kind of shadows you see. It could be that the lights of cars or a street light or the moon are casting odd shadows that are scaring him. The best suggestion I ever heard was to pick up the phone and make a big deal out of calling the Monster Hotline (warn a friend in advance that you need them to play along). Have the Monster Hotline tell you that the closest Monster Outbreak is in... (and name some really, really far away place). Then you can pull up a map and show him where that place is and where you live and that there hasn't been a monster sighting in your town in 15 years or something like that. Another thing you can do is to buy a can of air freshener or lysol and take a brown paper bag and cut it so it wraps around the can and write "Monster Spray" and let him spray the places he sees the monsters (with supervision of course).
My favorite advice gets credit from my Mom. I used it when I babysat years ago and it worked like a charm... see what you think... When we wakes up, simply explain in a very matter of fact way that when they (monsters) knocked on the front door- that you (or your husband) told tell them that it is time to go to sleep and that they cannot come inside.
The Mom I used to babysit for thanked me after I "cured" her 4 year old of this nighttime fear.
Hope it helps. :)
now I have not tried this personally, but I remember reading this somewhere and it makes a lot of sense to try. Go on a monster search with him before getting in bed (anywhere he has seen the monsters or thinks they might be hiding). That way he has the power over the issue and can be secure in knowing that nothing is there and can fall asleep. Then you can give him a spray bottle of whatever you choose and tell him it is something the monsters HATE and by spraying it, it will provide a protective shield that the monsters will not go near. This is for if he wakes up in the night and fears they have come into his room after he went to sleep. He can feel like he did it himself. Hope that helps some. Best of luck...
R.,
My 4-year-old boy did the same thing at right about 3-3 1/2. First thing I told him is that it was our dog's job to keep the monsters away and that monsters are very afraid of dogs. That seemed to work. When he started having bad dreams about monsters and bad guys, I told him that whenever he has a new bad dream that he should tell me or daddy as much about it that he can remember and that by telling us it would make the dream go away. That worked too.
Good luck.
This is very common. I made up "magic monster spray" A spray bottle that we "sprayed" the room with before bed. It worked for a long time. I also reassured my son that mommy prayed over home and family every night as well.
It's not unusual for a three-year old to develop new fears. He's becoming more aware of the world and his imagination is developing.
Could the anticipation of a new baby, though, be contributing to his fears? I'm sure he's anxious about it. Have you been busier lately in preparing for your new daughter? These changes are frightening, too, to a three-year old.
He sounds like he needs your love a little more these days. Show it to him throughout the day in small ways. You can also include him in getting ready for the new baby.
Every time I had a new one, I bought a gift for the older child about a week or two before my due date, and hid it. After the baby was born, my husband and I gave the older one the gift "from the baby." Meanwhile, my husband took that child to the store to buy a gift for the new baby. My kids are in their teens and 20s now, and they're all close.
I only read a couple of the other responses because I only have a quick minute to respond. At first I told my twins we lived in monster free home and no monsters could get in. Then I tried telling them only "real" monsters I knew of where the ones on Sesame Street, cookie monster, elmo, etc and they weren't scary in fact they would probably be a lot of fun to play with. For us, the monster phase ended when I was honest with them and told them that although there fears were real monsters are not. I think they were just looking for some re-assurance from me and once I gave it to them they went to bed without a problem.
Have you tried asking your son what he is afraid the monsters will do to him? I know kids can have irrational fears but if you can get to the root of them there is usually a quick solution.
I hope you get some helpful advice that works :)
R.,
Hi, I'm a Mom of a 4 year old boy. When he turned 3 he also complained of being scared of monsters and things in his room. I am a person of faith, so I began to have him pray with me about his fears. I would say a little of the prayer at a time, and he would repeat after me. Something like this...Jesus, protect me as I sleep. Send angels to come around my bed to keep me from safe. Fear, go in the name of Jesus. He would repeat it after me, and I noticed within a day or two, he felt safe. I would explain to him who God is and how his word promises to protect his children. He's never since complained about monsters in his room or being scared. He asks me to pray with him nightly. Fear can be very real to children and even adults. I've found that prayer helps me in every area of my life. If you are not sure how to pray, don't worry, God already knows your heart. He will be there to guide you.
A.
Sesame Street! That's what helped with my son... introducing the idea that monsters aren't necessarily mean. I think your child is too young to try to explain that monsters aren't real. In his mind, they're real and something to fear. But once he "meets" Grover, Cookie Monster, Elmo, Oscar the Grouch, etc., he will hopefully come away with the idea that monsters can be friends. Whenever my son exhibited fear of monsters in his room, I'd say, "Oh yeah? Great! Who is it... Grover? Elmo?" etc. That would generally turn his fear into laughing. Good luck!
This is so up my alley!! My daughter did this. I bought a flashlight at walmart that is shapped like a tiger and roars when you turn it on. We would go into her room, turn the light off (hall light on to see!) and say something like go away monsters and flash the light under and in all places monsters may hide!
My daughter's fears were gone in 3 days.
Every now and then if she wakes up from a bad dream, she has a remote (extra unused one) in her room (thanks for the idea Aunt Shelly!) that she can "change her dream station)
My oldest son is now almsot 13 years old -- when he went through that stage someone told me about "Monster Spray" you take a can of air freshner and make a new label for it on the computer. At night you spray under his bed and in his closet. If he wakes in the middle of the night, you can spray again. It worked for my son -- Good Luck -- Jen
Here are a couple of things we did with my 3 year old.
Gave him a flashlight he could have in bed with him that he could turn on when he needed it.
Also told him to pretend there was a special net covering his bed and protecting him. It would let good dreams in but keep monsters out...when that quit working (he loves Harry Potter) we had him use different Harry Potter spells to get rid of the monsters....since he was in control it worked great!
J.
R.,
Try doing the monster sweep. This is where you and your son go into the room at bedtime with a flash light and do a complete sweep of the room (make it fun) to show your so that all monsters have been chased, scared, removed whatever from the room. After your son is asleep slip in an turn on a nightlight so if or when he awakes he light will allow him to see that there is nothing their.
PS you may pray over the room also. Paula
I have a friend who used the "Monster Spray" technique too. They used Lysol air freshener. Their son's room always smelled like flowers. However eventually they had to stop because its a quick fix that can backfire. They had to get advice from a therapist to put a stop to the monsters. The doc said that by using the spray, while cute and creative, it could reinforce the belief in monsters. Kids think "if there's monster spray and mom uses it there must be monsters." I'm not saying don't use this method just be prepared to have to undo it later. By the time it became a real problem for my friend their son was old enough to sit down and talk to rationally and after awhile they were able to convince him that there weren't any real monsters. If the checking closets and under beds and nightlights aren't working, you can always try the spray. My 4 yr old talks about monsters "ah the monsters there and gonna get me" as he runs down the hall, but I just say there's no monster in a silly voice and he giggles and says "I just petendin". He doesn't really believe in them either. So I haven't personally had to deal with your situation.
My son went thru this stage and I would put him in bed then I would bring in a spray bottle filled with "monster b gone" then I would say loudly any monsters in here will have to fight me. I then would "spray" underneath his bed and closet and drwers and around his window. I alo would " blow" the ghosts away. I would go in and blow around the middle of the room, my son would help with this by blowing too. We would " blow" them to the window that was the escape portal. There are alot of things you can try just use a little imagination and get him involved. Hope this helps..you can sing silly songs too..my "monster spray" was air...We also talked about monsters not being real and everything. Even though he knew they were not real his fear was and all these games was a fun way to alleviate his fears.
i acted like i thought there was monsters too, but stood up in his room at bedtime and said alright you monsters, quit scaring my boy!! and then told him they said im sorry we were trying to make you laugh, and they would leave and let him sleep if we did the monster dance. they said okay of course and we bounced around for a minute. then i said thanks monsters, go away now!! i put a no monsters sign on his door and played along with him and put one on my door too. you need to validate his fear, and that does that and he realizes how silly it can be when your doing a monster dance. i cant beleive it worked, but it did-like a charm!!
At three my daughter also starting to go through this. We had a long talk with her about how her stuffed animals protected her from any monsters and went through and cleaned out where ever she felt she had monsters and acted like we were kicking them out of the house. She thought this was very funny, but accepted that her animals would protect her at night. Once in a while we had to go through a kick a few out. This seems crazy, but it worked so much better than trying to convince her they weren't real. After several months she grew out of this.
My daughter did the same thing....after seeing the movie "Monsters Inc" at a friend's house. She was "playing" with her brother, then all of a sudden it was a very real fear. (She kept saying, "Shut the door, shut the door!") So we talked about it....I told her that monsters don't exist (which was a little past her 2 1/2 year old mind). I also told her that if there was a grown up in the house...Mommy, Daddy, Nana, Grandma, Poppa, Uncle Drew (I listed every adult she loves), then monsters can't come in. They are afraid of grown ups. It has taken a few naptimes and bedtimes, but we have continued to reassure her. Now, when we head upstairs, she says "There are no monsters, Mommy." She goes to bed just fine!
just an idea but has he seen the movie monsters inc??? very cute about monsters and how they arnt bad... dosent say they arnt real at any point but it could help him like the idea. if your not font of that idea then try this. when i was in school we had to cmoe up with a monster kit... (went to school for early childhood education, just thought i would throw that in so no one thought i was nuts lol) anyway some people used a spray bottle of fabreese with the lable taken off and "monster be gone" on the lable some used water. some had the book where the wild things are. get creative is there a special toy that makes him safe like a dinosaur that can sleep on the floor by him?? good luck
The same thing happened with our three year old and my sister suggested watching Monster's Inc. It worked like a charm. He was still afraid for a couple of nights afterwords but we reinforced the monsters are funny idea and it stuck.
Classic developmental stage.
CONGRATULATIONS! Your son is perfectly normal!
It is a stage in self awareness/vulnerability.
Some folks I know have filled a spritzer w/ water & labeled it "Monster spray" for the child to keep by his bed.
Also, "Monsters are afraid of the color purple" and hang a little purple curtain or scarf on their door.
My only thought is these ideas support the idea that monsters exist. Use your instinct. This wont be forever. You may even miss it when it is gone...
Monster-B-Gone! (A spray bottle with air). I will spray the closet, under the bed, and in corners. WE do it as part of our bedtime routine. If it ever stops working, I will give my son a bottle of his own to "spray" in the middle of the night.
my kids went through these fears. we had to "talk about the monsters" and we even started searching thier roomd before they went to bed. we got a spray bottle( you can find a cheap one at walmart for under a buck) and told them it was monster (filled with water). we handed them the bottles and told them to spray it in all the places the monsters went. they had a blast spraying the water bottles and once they felt like they were doing something very real to combat thier own fear it went away.
I've heard people talk about putting water in a spray bottle and marking it "Monster Away" or something like that. And make a little ritual of spraying it around his room before bedtime. Something like that...a little game that can help.
My son is 4 now but when he was around 3 I allowed him to watch the movie Barnyard and he started going through some fears. I've always been very careful about what I've allowed him to see or listen to at home and at other people's homes. From what I've heard from other parents seems most children go through this, I think it's how it's handled as to how the child will overcome it. And also if there is anything else going on in the childs life that could be causing him legitimate fears. Because I've known children that started going through fears of monsters or people in their doorways etc, and it ended up being more serious. For me, I would always tell my son God didnt make monsters or ghosts and in TV you can do anything. We would always pray about his feelings/fears and I would always reassure him. I think he was 3 when he started having this issue and it only lasted a short time. Every now and then he will say he feels afraid, and now he says, God didnt make monsters or ghosts their not real and you can do anything on TV mom and then he smiles. BUT we always talk about it and pray about it and that has helped my son when he is afraid. It's amazing but TV's shows or movies we think aren't bad but we are adults and they are small innocient children who cant seperate reality from fantacy at this point. Keep talking to your son, keep reassuring him and keep working on him staying in his bed. Hang in there, it's tough at times trying to figure out what will work you can do it. One night at a time.
