Need Advise on 6 Year Old Daughter Still Wetting the Bed

I agree with what others have said. I would have her evaluated by a doctor. I had that problem as a child and ended up having a problem with my kidneys. Once you rule out there being an issue with her medically you can address other possible causes.

Good Luck!
S.

L.,

I'd strongly suggest having your daughter seen by a specialist. My oldest daughter, now 22 years old, had the same problem and when she was 5 years old, we took her in to see the pediatrician and he did an ultrasound to check things out. What we found out, we were, of course, not expecting. She was actually missing a kidney and the one she did have was enlarged (which is normal under the circumstances to make up for the one that isn't there). Her bladder was also deformed, having a diverticulum (pocket or weakened area in the bladder wall) where the missing kidney and ureter would have normally been attached. She wasn't purposely wetting the bed, urine collected in this pocket and leaked out uncontrollably.

When we arrived back in Texas a few years later (this all occurred in Germany - non-military), the problem had not resolved so we took her to a pediatric urologist (Thomas Bartholomew, MD) and the diverticulum had ballooned considerably, resembling a "Mickey Mouse ear" on the side of her bladder. Surgery seemed to be the best bet, so at age 10, the diverticulum was removed. For the next few years, until my daugher was in high school, she took prophylactic antibiotics to prevent recurring UTIs, which helped.

Since she was about 14 or 15, she's been fine with no problems. She's been taught all these years the importance of staying well hydrated and having good hygiene to keep the one kidney she had as healthy as possible.

What caused this deformity to begin with? It's never been 100% proven, but as a practicing midwife, I've done a lot of research on this. My daugher was small for gestational age - only 5 1/2 lbs at term. Although I don't have it in any medical records, I suspect she had a 2-vessel umbilical cord (only 1 umbilical artery, not 2 as is normal with the one vein present), instead of the normal 3-vessel cord. Such defects in the unrinary system are common with these babies. All my other children are normal.

All this info and my daughter's story is not to say that your daughter has a similar problem, but if I were you, I'd have it checked out. There might be a physiological reason for her bed-wetting problems. It's not always psychological!

Blessings,

R.

R. Rabenschlag, LM, CPM, CD(DONA), CLD, ICCE-CD
Midwife, Doula, Childbirth and Lactation Educator
Multiple Blessings Childbirth Services
Serving the San Antonio area
Tel: ###-###-####

Hey L.,
I have some advice for you but it won't be easy. Relax! When my son was 2 I started asking about his wetting all the time. I was put off with it will pass for a couple of years, then he was catheterized(horrible for both of us)& they found nothing. Finally after doing that twice, going to 2 urologists, I asked to be referred to a pediatric urologist. We had to go to Little Rock Children's as there weren't any in NW AR. He was 8 then. When I saw the dr. he said before looking at the ultrasound that his bladder was probably immature. He said he sees about 12 a day with this problem! I think it's more common in boys but girls have it also. After this visit my dad finally said he had a problem with it! It was simply an immature bladder, meaning it's still like a baby, small & empties automatically, alot! He would go & 10 minutes later he would wet his pants. They really can't help it. They said it would pass with puberty which seemed like a long wait. The daytime wetting went away sooner but he wet the bed for a while longer. It has passed now & I wish I hadn't stressed about it so much. My 3rd son did the same thing & I just let him wear pullups cuz that was better than being upset every morning. We did have to switch to goodnights but I finally quit buying some kind of 'wet catcher' in June, only 16 yrs. I should own Kimberly-clark! Sorry it's so long but you sounded so much like I did bout 10 yrs. ago. We tried the medicine, liquid & nasal spray & they didn't work for us. D. B.

One of my little brothers did the same thing. When he was about 7 years old they found out that he is missing some chemical in his body. You know how we dont need to go to the bathroom while we sleep, but as soon as we wake up we feel the urge to pee? Well, something is released in your body when you sleep that does this. My little brother didn't have enough of that. He started taking medicine and from that day on, he never wet the bed again. Sorry, I dont know what it is called, but I would ask your doctor about it.
K.

I dont know your whole situation but have you taken her to the dr and asked about this. I have no idea how it is with boys cause my sons dont have that problem and they are 7 BUT when I was younger I know I wet the bed til I was almost 6 yrs old and they said it was from a string of UTI's and they had to actually do surgery it was minor but they had to dilate my pee hole because it had almost completely closed due to all the infections. Maybe she doesnt do it purposely but most likely she is definitely embarassed by it. If you havent seen a dr about this please do so... the other thing could be maybe she just has a bladder that isnt matured. That happens alot too either way see a dr and if they dont give you an answer you like get a second opinion!

It sounds like you've had quite a bit of information sent to you so I'll keep it short.
Have you tried having your daughter practice Keigel exercises on the potty? What I mean is that when she goes to pee, have her start to pee, then stop peeing for say a few seconds, then starting to pee again and stopping again, repeating until she has finished?
This helped a family member of mine stop wetting the bed by strengthening those muscles so that when she started to pee, it would wake her and she could run to the potty.
It's just a thought.
Good luck and Thank goodness for pull ups.

I don't know a lot about this from any experiences with my own children however, one of my niece's and my cousin's daughter both had this problem. Both girls wore pull-ups to bed until they were right around 6 years old. It was determined that they both had immature bladders. I don't know what all it took to find out but I would suggest starting with your pediatrician. Hope everything turns out for you!

L.,

My two kids also wet the bed. My son who is 10 still does some nights. We just try not to make a big deal of it and have made it where he can take care of the problem without a fuss and go back to bed. Try putting a sheet the layer a water proof puddle pad, then a sheet and then a pad and so on so that you have a few nights worth on the bed. This way if the accident happens your daughter can strip the top pad and sheet then get right back into bed. I have also noticed that my son does it more often if he is cold at night. Try dressing her in warmer PJs and see if it helps. There is some study that states that children can wet the bed up until the age of 16 for boys and I think 12 for girls. Just be patient. It will stop with time.

Have you asked your pediatrician about it? I'm not at all concerned about the bedwetting (it's normal in a large number of 5-8 year olds) however, I'm concerned that at 6 she can't hold it during the day. Have their been a lot of changes recently, or is it possible she has a mild bladder or yeast infection that could be causing some of it? There are lots of medical reasons that I really think you should request a consult with your pediatrician about.

M.

HAVE YOU TAKEN YOURE DAUGHTER TO THE DR. TO SEE IF MAYBE SHE HAS A MEDICAL PROBLEM? MY SON IS 8 AND HE STILL HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT. HIS BLADDER HAS NOT GROWN WITH HIS BODY. HE HAS TO WEAR GOODNIGHTS WHICH ARE PULL-UPS. AND ITS BETTER FOR HIM. I DIDNT BELIEVE IT AT FIRST. I HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT HE WAS JUST BEEING "LAZY". BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY A MEDICAL CONDITION. ON SOME KIDS THEIR BLADDERS DONT GROW WITH THEIR BODIES. IT SOMETIMES TAKES UP UNTIL THEY GO THRUE PUBERTY. BUT YOU SHOULD MAYBE ASK YOURE DOCTOR AND SEE WHAT HE OR SHE HAS TO SAY.

I am not a mother yet, but I was a child who wet the bed for a long time. I did every night probably until I was 7 or 8 and still had accidents until I was probably as old as 11. As hard as it is for you, believe me it is hard on your daughter too. Bed wetting is not purposeful and it is such an embarassing condition especially when you reach an age that you know it is not something that is normal.

My parents never put diapers on me at night thank goodness. I think that would have affected me in some way to be so old and have to wear a diaper, but I can see how frustrating and tiring changing sheets every night would be. My mom took me to a pediatric urologist who prescribed me with a nasal spray. The medicine was a last resort. They tried no liquids past 5:00 p.m., setting alarms to wake me up, and physically waking me up at night to go to the restroom. Nothing worked, but the nasal spray. I took two sprays in each nostril to begin with and as time progressed it decreased to one in each nostril, then to one spray only, and finally to none. I think it took about a year to get off the spray completely.

For years, I remember as a child having such anxiety about having friends spend the night and going to sleep overs. So much so that I often wouldn't let myself fall asleep. You sound so patient and understanding of your daughter struggling with this and I know my parents being so understanding helped me alot.

I agree with others about seeing a specialist to rule out any physical abnormalities. Good luck.

I have a friend whose daughter had the same issues. The pedi decided it was from her bowels not moving enough. She was constipated and this caused her bladder to not empty all the way.She needed more frequent trips to the restroom (she had a set schedule to try and go at certain times-her teacher had to be made aware etc..)and introduced more fiber to get things moving. I know with my older children I don't keep up with potty things enough to know if they are constipated unless they mention there is a problem. You might want to ask her and check things out so you will be able to tell the pedi when you take her. (I would have never thought to check this if I were in that situation)

My step brother had this issue but only at night. They tried everything from nose sprays, pills, to alarms to try to wake him up when he had accidents. He slept so hard he wouldn't even hear it. He finally just matured out of it.

At home health stores, they sell those piddle pads they use in the hospitals-blues one from when you had her- you could try letting her sleep on those and that might help with the washing/sheet changing aspect. Just a thought.

Hang in there. I would definately seek out a pedi uroligist (sp?). Good luck...

Hi L.,

Congrats on your hard work and parenting! I am a mom of 2 children and lucky that I do not have this issue. However, one of my very best friends daughter does have a medical condition that she cannot control her accidents or bed wetting. Her daughter is a beautiful, tall blond haired 12 year old. She is extremely sweet, very smart, talented and athletic. I am not sure how it was diagnosed or at what age. But I do know that it is a medical condition and there is a name for it. She would not go to slumber parties for a long time. She may even still use some type of "depends" at night. It is something she lives with. If I didn't know her mom, I would not even know she has this condiditon. PLEASE ask your pediatrician about it. If you want, e-mail me direct and I'll ask my friend for the name, details and where you can find more information.

Be patient with her, it is not something she sets out to do to make life more difficult. And mostly likely she is very subconcious about it. Be careful how you react and treat her. At 6 children are very self concience and your reactions could really impact her self image.

Good Luck....

C.

L. -
I don't have any advice for you on the bed and pants wetting since my first child is only 5 1/2 months, but I wanted to tell you that I am incredibly amazed and proud of what you do for your children. I, too, work from home and try to be a full time parent, but I have a spouse to help out. It is VERY hard! Your children are so lucky to have you.
S.

I have a neice who had just went through what your going through. She took her daughter to the dr. and they told her that it looked like a bladder or urinary tract infection. Try the dr if you haven't yet and see what they say. Good luck.

My 7 year old still wets the bed and we have gone through the doctors and whatnot about this. First, you SHOULD have anything physical ruled out. Make sure there is no problems with bladder, etc. My son still wears a GoodNight to bed. They suggested meds, but we are not ones to jump to man-made drugs first thing. I will try and rule out everything else before doing this. It is my opinion that synthetic hormones are not good for you.

BUT, I also read up about bedwetting. There is a 70% chance that a child will wet the bed if they had one parent that wet the bed and this percentage goes up if both parents wet the bed. I, myself, also wet the bed until I was about 10. In most cases, it is nothing to worry about. You just have to grit your teeth and wash a whole lot!! I agree with an earlier post about not making her feel guilty or bad about it. Don't shame her for it. It is just something she may have to outgrow. Hope it helped.

Hi L.! My name is K. and i am new here on mamasource. I myself have a son who wet the bed until he was 5 luckily he didn't do it in school. I made a rule that he was not allowed to drink anything past 8 pm and also found out he would get up in the middle of the night and find something to drink in the fridge when we didn't know he was getting up. So I made sure that he wasn't able to access anything after that. I also had told my son that i would have to go and start buying pull ups for him instead of big boy underwear which he would get to pick out which ones he wanted as a reward if he quit wetting the bed. Having that incentive helped out alot too because he wanted incredible hulk and fantastic 4 underwear. It took alot of patience with him to stop wetting the bed but he soon quit. As i was growing up i had a bed wetting problem as well until i was about 11 it was mostly psycological problems from growing up in an abusive home. My father did drugs, beat my mom around alot, hit me alot too as well as he drank alot. It may be psychological for your daughter as well. If some changes have occurred in the past year or so or something traumatic happened this is her way of crying out for your help and attention. With patience she will grow out of it. I would also consult your pediatrician about the bedwetting maybe they could help you further. I hope i helped a little bit at least. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

Please have her evaluated by her dr. He may send her to a specialist. It is best to rule out a physical problem before addressing with medication. There are many meds out there. One of the most popular one's is DDAVP or desmopressin. It is a hormone that helps replace what the body does not produce. This slows our urine production while we sleep. After that, the good nights is a good suggestion, the reward is a good suggestion. Remember though that the pressure you place on her to stop this action may not be what is best for her right now. Good luck,
C

I agree with the other posters (about the dr.). My daughter is 9 and until about a month ago. I was washing sheets every other night. The first thing the pedi did was to make sure that she was not diabetic... (quick pee test)... Not being able to hold it during the day... also would concern me. Like the others said... rule out infections, constipation, or anything else 'physical'. My daughter was also on the medication mentioned earlier to help concentrate the urine in the bladder (athletes use it). That worked, but what really worked was her ADD medication. She is on Concerta and for whatever reason, since she began take the meds the change in her has been miraculous to say the least. Not only has school and social situations improved but no more bed wetting.

Maybe she does it for attention. Its hard to share yourself between kids and work. Have you tried getting her to a Urologist. I know of a great one! She may have a hard time holding her bladder. OR she could feel she is too busy to go to the toilet. Use Good Nights at night. They are made for big kids they go to over 125 lbs. This will assure you that her bed will stay dry and dont give up. Make sure you take her pee at night still. She just needs a little help. But maybe talk toher pediatrician and see about getting her to a urologist or perhaps maybe a therapist that can drag it out of her why she is peeing on herself.

I am almost 24 and I peed in the bed until I was about 12, come to find out I have a bladder and kidneys the size of a 2 year olds and it doesnt hold much. When Ihave to go, I have to go. There is no waiting or holding. Its uncontrolable. But I have been having my bladder dialated every other year which it makes my bladder bigger and I can hold more. Maybe she has a medical problem.

I also have a nephew that is 7 and my neice is 5 and they still wet the bed. The "Good Nights" work very well.

My 7 year old still wets the bed too. Here's the scoop I found. The part of the brain responsible for waking up the body and getting the child out of bed to the bathroom and back is located at the very back,where the neck joins the head. The nervous center control for this does not fully develop until children are about 12 years old. This cannot be foced. Some finish developing early, some do not. As long as there is nothing physically wrong with your child, get triple or quadruple sheets, get 2 water proof matress covers, put one on, make the sheets, put on the other, make the sheets and use a light quilt and or blanket. Continue what you do with restricting water and going again before bed time. And, if you can do this and get her back to sleep, and your self, try setting the alarm and getting up,waking your child up and getting her to the potty and back to bed. Please, do not punish your child or make her feel badly about all of this. Be matter of fact, supportive, and very lessaiz faire - nonchalant about this. This too will pass. There are extremely few normally developing physically abled children who are in diapers as teens, or even older children. This you can do, this is managable. Inconvenient, tiring, and not much fun, but when your daughter gets past it,without trauma or guilt, you will both feel better.

L., sounds like you are a wonderful mother and provider for your children. It sounds like she may have a kidney or bladder problem or infection. It can be stress also. I would probably put a pullup or something like that on her through the night. If she feels herself wet, she may get up on her own and go to the bathroom. Leave another pullup where she can just put it on herself. She needs to be checked further to make sure it isn't medical.

Hi:
I do understand your problem, my is 5 years old and he does not keep having "accidents" during the day, but until 2 weeks ago, he was still wetting his bed a couple nights a week, I did the same thing you are doing, no drinks before bed, put him to potty before bed, I walk up in the middle of the night to do it again, and still did not work, all of the sudden two weeks ago, stop at night, he still wears his diapers a night just in case, but I don't know if his bladder mature, or what.
I do agree with all the moms in asking the doctor, I did that too. Now it seems he could have attention disorder, he is very active, way too much, and I'm getting him to a specialist on Monday, to figure out where is coming from. But please do ask her doctor, and find out if there is something more going on with her. God bless the two of you, and I hope things will get better.

G.

L.,

The Enurisis treatment center helps children of any age with this problem. Their website is www.nobedwetting.com and they have a 97% success rate.

You should also take your daughter to a Pediatrician and test for bladder or urinary tract infection, diabetes, etc. Talk to the doctor about the daytime problem, too, especially if it has just become a problem. It may be a sign of a medical condition or a reaction to stress.

Best of luck,
S.