3 Out of 4 Boys Are Wetting the Bed. What Did I Do Wrong??

Relax, you didn't do anything wrong. Some kids just wet the bed. I have two bedwetters, one is 14, the other is 10. The 14yr old chooses not to wear pullups, but has the responsibility of changing and washing his own sheets, and it is getting better, the ten yr old wears pullups and knows she will outgrow this phase.
Some kids sleep so soundly that they don't wake to the bladder calling ( we have seen many doctors for this). You could get a bedwetting alarm and sometimes that helps. Anyway, just remember it is a phase and they don't like it any better than you do, but, they will outgrow it someday.
Blessings,
D.

Hi Sarah,,,
why dont you just take them to the DR are go talk to him since you already ready know its hereidty you just got 3 who inhereidred it ,,,,things could be worse

good luck L.

Have you tried taking them to the chiropractor? That was VERY helpful for a friend of mine when her son was still wetting the bed at 8. Within a month of regular adjustments he had stopped! Worth a try.

Talk to your doctor about medication. 3/4 is how heredity works. It isn't going to mask the problem... it's going to alleviate the problem until their bodies grow out of it. Not getting the medication isn't fair to the boys. My brother we until 11 and it caused a lot of emotional problems. Talk to your doctor.

Sarah,

It sounds like they inherited it from dad. I have 1 son who is in high school and it still happens sometimes. Try to be patient with it. Don't criticize them because believe me, they feel worse than you do when it happens. I wet the bed as a child until I was 13 and sometimes my M. would get upset with me. Puberty helps sort it out. You could always talk to the pediatrician and if they're worried about it, they'll suggest a urologist consult. My son also took something called DDAVP (not generic) for a while. That did seem to help. Hang in there!

Peace,
C.

I think restricting liquids is a good thing, you might start with asking a Peditrician because 9yrs is a toughy, With the 5 and 6 it may be habits with pullups and if at night like you did when you were potty training you could start a gentle waking after they are asleep for an hour or so having them get up and empty more of their bladder and then go back to bed and then again wake when before you go to bed 11pmish to go to the bathroom again to empty their bladders. Sometimes pullups can form a habit of no need to go to the bathroom at night, I have a pullup to catch it. My close friend has a 6 yr old she is struggling with this too, but she is doing the waking early in the evening after hes asleep to empty most of it out until morning and reteaching her son that there is no safe guard pullup and if he has to go he has to get up. Its been working for her, but consistency and changing the safeguard pattern is repitition night after night like a secondary potty training. This might not be the case with your boys, but its working for my friend. Good luck we Moms have a 24/7 job.

SAHM of twins 3yrs (I'm doing the daytime potty training right now)

Hi Sara,
I don't know what to do about your boys' discomfort but I used to be a nurse. I suggest that you take them to see a urologist. It is not usual for kids that age to have that probelm after they are already trained. It could be something medical.
I hope it all works out for you. It is bad for the kids confidence I am sure and yours too.
Keep your chin up.

Hi Sarah-

I have two neighbors who both used the "bedwetting alarm" with each of their daughters and it worked for them. You might want to look into it for your 9 year old. The 6 and 5 year olds I wouldn't worry about yet. They are still young....

Good Luck,
K.

Sarah,

It seems CLEAR that YOU did not do anything wrong, ESPECIALLY since your husband has acknowledged having been a bed-wetter and with 3 of your 4 boys also manifesting this problem.

My husband recently experienced some bladder problems in his mid-50s and the analysis/diagnosis of his rather complex problem by a neuro-urologist addressed, among other things, the "maturation process" of his bladder and urinary system. We learned that there is a wide-range of ages at which an individual's body's "systems" physically develop - and this accounts for things like bed-wetting. A young boy's urinary system may not develop physiologically until they are pre-teenish (12-13 years of age, and rarely, older.) So, if you have NOT already done so, I recommend seeing an urologist, en masse. There are drugs that can help with the temporary problem and might possibly be useful until their physical systems develop sufficiently to provide control.

I know that the situation is frustrating and creates additional burden on you, as the mother, housekeeper, sheet-changer and laundress. But, you will only ADD TO to their psychological burden if you are exasperated and talk about blaming YOURSELF. Don't you think they are already frustrated, ashamed and remorseful that it happens to THEM? Please don't add to their pain by making them feel responsible for your guilt. And if this sounds harsh, just know that I genuinely have the best interest of ALL of you in mind when I suggest that you, as well as they, seek out psychological counseling to deal with the "mental" aspect of this problem. The problem WILL subside (barring some real disorder, which isn't likely), as their bodies develop sufficiently to be able to exercise the necessary physical control. You don't want a bunch of psychological muck to deal with as a result of the frustrations of this timeframe. See an urologist first to get a proper diagnosis, and then find a trustworthy counselor to "process" everyone's feelings about this situation. And best wishes for a SPEEDY change in the situation.

God Bless you all,
K.

I have three kids and all three wet the bed. My oldest is 9 and twins are 5. My husband and I both wet the bed growing up. I don't know what the problem is, but my only suggestion would be for you is to let them wear pull-ups and forget about all the laundry...too much work for you M.. Once they are too big for pull-ups, then you will have to do laundry.

Unfortunately I have no solutions for the problem, but only to let you know you are not alone.

Blessings!

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think it is hereditary, esp. with boys. I had 2 bedwetting girls who outgrew it about 6, but my 10-year-old boy is still wetting the bed ocassionally. Get a heavy-duty waterproof mattress cover. I find that when he drinks water he's OK but soft drinks turn on the fountain. Make sure they pee before they go to bed and wake them up at night - my son sleeps soundly, and I think that's part of the problem. I'd wait a couple years before going the doctor route - see, your 11-year-old is OK now, isn't he? Good luck!

Well, I don't have a lot of advice for you but it looks like you've alteady gotten quite a bit. I just wanted to say you have not done anything wrong. Bedwetting is definitely hereditary and more prevalant in boys- it was just in the cards for your family unfortunatley. Not to say that you can't find a solution- I just wanted you to know that you definitely didn't do anything wrong and neither did they.

Good luck!

Get a mattress protector and make sure a change of clothes is readily available. Teach them to change their own sheets and where to put the soiled clothes and sheets. Have the clean sheets handy - like under the mattress.

I haven't read all of the responses yet. They may have narrow urethra's. My nephew had this problem. They go in and make it bigger in diameter. The children might not be able to drain their bladders completely b/c of the narrow urethra. I would check with your pediatrician and ask him if this might be the issue. He will probably send you to a Urologist. I hope this helps

I would talk to your pediatrician about it. There are programs and medications that can help.

have their bladders checked by the doctor. my son is ADHD and 12yrs old they had to adjust his medicine and then after he got old enough they stopped the medicine. when we had problems again we took him to a counslor and that works.

Go with the potty pager! It's awesome! It's works! My son had one when he was having problems. We thought he had out grown it, and gave the pager to a relative that needed it, and now my son needs it again.

When I read your request it brought tears to my eyes. I wet the bed until I was 16. I hated it. Tell your boys don't be embarrassed. It happens to the best of us. Doing landry all the time sucks, but having to wear a pull up is so much worse. I asked my son if he wanted to wear them, or a plastic sheet on the bed. He asked for the plastic sheet. So I just do the laundry.

My son is still having problems 2 or 3 nights a week, my daughter not at all. I'm going to buy my son another pager.

Hi Sarah,
I got this information from Academy of Pediatrics Association. Hope this helps.

Tips for Managing Bed-Wetting

A small number of children who wet the bed do not respond to any treatment. Fortunately, as each year passes, bed-wetting will decrease as the child's body matures. By the teen years almost all children will have out-grown the problem. Only one in 100 adults is troubled by persistent bed-wetting.

Until your older child outgrows bed-wetting, it is important that you give him support and encouragement. Be sensitive to your child's feelings about bed-wetting. For instance, children may not want to spend the night at a friend's house or go to summer camp. They may be embarrassed or scared that their friends will find out they wet the bed.

Make sure your child understands that bed-wetting is not his fault and that it will get better in time. Do not pressure your child to develop nighttime bladder control before her body is ready to do so. As hard as your child might try, the bed-wetting is beyond her control, and she may only get frustrated or depressed because she can not stop it.

Set a no teasing rule in your family. Do not let family members, especially siblings, tease a child who wets the bed. Explain to them that their brother or sister does not wet the bed on purpose. Do not make an issue of the bed-wetting every time it occurs.

If your child has enuresis, discussing it with your pediatrician can help you to understand it better. Your pediatrician can also reassure you that your child is normal and that he will eventually outgrow bed-wetting.

Until that happens naturally, however, the following steps might help the situation.

Take steps before bedtime.

Have your child use the toilet and avoid drinking large amounts of fluid just before bedtime.

Use a bed-wetting alarm device.

If your child reaches the age of 7 or 8 and is still not able to stay dry during the night, an alarm device might help. When the device senses urine, it sets off an alarm so that the child can wake up to use the toilet. Use this device exactly as directed so that it will detect the wetness right away and sound the alarm. Be sure your child resets the alarm before going back to sleep.

These alarms are available at most pharmacies and cost about $50. Although they provide a 60 percent to 90 percent cure rate, children often relapse once they stop using them. Alarms tend to be most helpful when children are starting to have some dry nights and already have some bladder control on their own.

Protect and change the bed.

Until your child can stay dry during the night, put a rubber or plastic cover between the sheet and mattress. This protects the bed from getting wet and smelling like urine.

Let your child help.

Encourage her to change the wet sheets and covers. This teaches responsibility. At the same time it can relieve your child of any embarrassment from having family members know every time she wets the bed. If others in the family do not have similar chores, though, your child may see this as punishment. In that case, it is not recommended.

Other treatments.

Some pediatricians recommend bladder stretching exercises. With these, your child gradually increases the time between daytime urinations so that the bladder can slowly stretch to hold more urine. Should you and your child decide together to try bladder-stretching exercises, follow instructions from your pediatrician.

When no other form of treatment works, your pediatrician may prescribe medication. The use of medications to treat bed-wetting is in dispute. Since primary enuresis stops as a child matures, some pediatricians worry that using medication may have more risks than benefits. Not only can medications cause side effects, but they may not work.

Your pediatrician can talk with you about the different medications that are available, their possible side effects, and their success rates.

But keep this information in mind: because bed-wetting is such a common problem, many mail-order treatment programs and devices advertise that they are the cure. Use caution; many of these products make false claims and promises and may be overly expensive. Your pediatrician is the best source for advice, and you should ask before your child starts any treatment program.

Hi, I'm 25 and I used to have that problem my self. I used to live with my grandmother in Mexico till I was 6, I remember my grandmother taking me to doctors, giveing me pills, and waking me up at night and still I would wet the bed. When I came here with my M. I was 8 or 9 years old still wetting the bed, I had surgery on my bladder, this was going to stop my problem. But even after the surgery I still kept wetting the bed. When I became a teenager I just stopped wetting the bed, without pills or anything. Now that I have kids of my own my oldest 7 years old has this problem. I think that your kids and mine will out grow this problem. And I know how embaracing this can be for the oldes I was in his place.

Hi There, i had to respond because i have the same problem with my 6 yr old boy.
Thanks S.

Have the boys examined by a doctor. Sounds like something might not be completely developed yet. I have never heard of a family with 3 bedwetters of this age before but there is a first time for everything. Good luck.

L.

My sister and I had problems with wetting the bed after a tragic accident happened (trailor exploded 6 feet away from our trailor and my bestfriends dad died and she ended up with 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 90% of her body). Well anyways my M. after trying several things had us make a tape recording of use saying over and over again that I will not pee in bed I will go to the bathroom We had to listen to it everynight while we slept. After a couple of days I started going to the bathroom at night my sister took alittle longer but all in all it worked. I hope this helps please give it a try.

I agree with Angela E. My niece went to a chiropractor, and she no problems after that. And it's natural... no worries about the side effects or LONG TERM effects of drugs that we know little about. Good luck!

Hi Sarah -

I see you have gotten a lot of advice. Some of it seemed very sound (calling Pedi, seeing Urologist, etc.). Please don't be discouraged. My son (4) is just potty training over night for the last few months and accidents are on again/off again. I tried the restricted liquids, waking him, etc. I have not found just one thing that works best for us yet. However a combination of restricted liquids (only water or milk) and waking him works the best.

We use the Dri Nights Waterproof Mattress Protector http://www.leapsandbounds.com/catalog/product.jsp?product..., $20 at Leaps and Bounds, and that really helps my work load.

Have you ever tried those disposal liners (Wal-Mart carries them I believe)? I was given some as a baby shower gift and those might really make your life easier until this issue resolves (less washing of sheets).

As frustrating as it can be I never make my son feel like he is doing something wrong. A good, positive self image is so critical to a young child.

Best of luck!

Sarah,

Talk with your pediatrician. My 9 year old daughter did the very same thing, but she was the only one who had this problem. She was also the youngest of the 4 with a 2, 4, and 14 year old siblings. You can imagine the humiliation she endured. She could never spend the night with her friends or have a friend spend the night, no slumber parties, I just didn't want her entering her teen years with this burden. Her pediatrician prescribed a nose spray, yep can you believe it ... a nose spray. It concentrates the urine and gave her increased sensitivity to feel she needed to go to the bathroom. We also had to modify her schedule to include nothing else to drink after dinner. You have to do it faithfully for a few months then you can begin to gradually take her off of it, but it worked incredibly well! It wasn't long at all before she was attending slumber parties, and having friends over for the night. It's pricey, but if you have insurance for prescriptions, it should be covered. I hope this helps you. Good luck!

I don't have an answer, I just wanted to thank you for writing in. I have a 6 year old little boy who still wets. He may go 3 or 4 nights, then wets. I have been reading the responses and feel encouraged by most.

Good luck!!
K.

Sarah:

My two boys (ages 8 and 10) were still having accidents regardless of how much we limited their fluid intake, watched their diets or woke them up at night. We finally had success with a device called the "Potty Pager". The beauty of it is that it is a silent alarm and doesn't wake the rest of the household. The boys were responsible for bringing their sheets if they had an accident. I'm proud to say, after a solid month plus of being dry, we've let them stop wearing it.

Our pediatrician recommended it to us. Their website is http://www.pottypager.com/ and their phone number is 1-800-497-6573 (Toll Free). Each pager is $75 with shipping and handling (use your own batteries) which sounded expensive until I added up the cost of the pull-ups.

I wish you success. My husband and I were doubtful but (obviously) fully believe in the Potty Pager now.

Side note: I also purchased the mattress protectors from Mattress Firm. They have been great at keeping liquid off the mattresses and are breathable, unlike the plastic liners.

I would see what your pedi has to say about this. There could be some underlying medical issue at play here that needs to be addressed. A friend of mines husband had this issue when he was growing up and sure enough both her daughters still struggle with it. I believe they are 9 and 7. She claims that they are just heavy, heavy sleepers and that they don't respond to their bodies telling them to wake up and us the restroom. I have seen devices on the market that are little alarm systems for just this issue. It may be worth looking into. I don't think you did anything wrong, but I wouldn't use pull-ups of any kind with them. This may just hurt their ego a bit and its just like that pill you refered to as just "masking" the problem. Good Luck. Give a call to your pedi on suggestions as well.

hi my nephew was weettting his bed as well. his pedi prescribed him a spray that my brother gives too him at night up his nose and with in 3 weeks he had stopped wetting the bed. HTH. J.

It's not a wetting problem so much as a sleeping problem--your boys probably don't sleep in stages like the rest of us, they rather fall into a deep sleep and surface many hours later to the lighter sleep stage. Because of this deep sleep, nothing can wake them, let alone a small muscle in their bladder.
My son went through a long training program that we paid a lot of money for that did not work, but then we found this http://www.wet-stop.com/ We used the cheaper version that you sew into the underwear ($20). By the second night he stopped wetting the bed and we haven't had a problem since.

It is hereditary and the age your husband was when he stopped, your boys will most likely be older than that when they stop. It's a chemical in the bloodstream that inhibits us from urinating while sleeping. In some people, it's just less and doesn't work. My pediatrian says it'll get stronger as they age. There is an artifical replacement steriod that you can give your child (if that's what the problem is) but it is a steriod and sometimes the benefits DON'T outweigh the downside. Sometimes it doesn't even work.

I worked for a Chiropractor for 4 years and found that there are a lot of them that treat for bed wetting. The dr I worked for seemed to have good results, at least when I asked the moms. Good luck.