My Heart Hurts

That woman was 25. She had a 10 year old son. So she was 15 when she had him. Then she had three children with a boyfriend. 4 kids at 25. Lonely, sad and in a bad relationship. It's horrifying. And so sad. I think that the wosrt part is the son who lived. What will his life be like? The chances for him to lead a noral, productive life are very slim. Poor guy.

You cannot apply "normal" logic and reactions to the thought processes of someone who is mentally ill.
And yes, it's so tragic. And as women (with typical mental health), we feel that pain in a very real way.

Maybe I am just overly sensitive because I have experienced depression a few times in my life. Very deep depression. I get irritated when everyone blames an act like this on depression. This is NOT your typical depression. It is a whole different level of mentally ill. It's a psychosis. I have been very depressed in my life, but NEVER EVER EVER had a single thought of hurting another person, or my own child.

I don't want moms being afraid to come forward and address their depression because they think people are going to jump to conclusions that they might hurt their own children. Some people who have never been depressed have the wrong idea of it...typical depression does not mean psychosis or insanity! To do something unthinkable like this mom did is a much more serious mental illness.

Of course you cannot imagine this, you do not and have not suffered with depression or mental illness yourself.

Until you have experienced mental illness yourself, it does just sound unthinkable. Just imagine how ill you would have to be mentally to even for a 1/4 of a second to have these thoughts. It isn't there for you.. Because you are not mentally ill.

These parents ARE that ill in their brains, that their brains are not functioning properly, do outrageous things. We can pity all of them and their families and then promise to watch for signs in our own families and friends.

We can be angry, but better is to be observant and caring for those around us.

Updated

Of course you cannot imagine this, you do not and have not suffered with depression or mental illness yourself.

Until you have experienced mental illness yourself, it does just sound unthinkable. Just imagine how ill you would have to be mentally to even for a 1/4 of a second to have these thoughts. It isn't there for you.. Because you are not mentally ill.

These parents ARE that ill in their brains, that their brains are not functioning properly, do outrageous things. We can pity all of them and their families and then promise to watch for signs in our own families and friends.

We can be angry, but better is to be observant and caring for those around us.

You simply can't rationalize mental illness. It doesn't make sense to anyone but the person. I live just outside of Newburgh and our community is absolutely heartbroken over it.

You are not alone, my mother and I are the same, believe me when I say we are not violent people but who knows what would I do if I ever cross paths with some of these people.
I hope I am strong enough to hold my self for the good of my kids.
There are a few things I am very passionate about that get me this emotional and mad, and people hurting kids is one of them.
I don't understand, I don't even want to give them the privilege of blaming it on a sickness, to me there are just evil without souls.
I really, really hope and pray that these little angels are safe and happy now =0(

These people are insane... plain and simple. They are by far the exception to the rule! Know that you cannot rationalize or make sense of it... it is impossible, because hopefully you are "sane"- or at least sane enough to get help if you ever felt so desperate to do any of these things!

They are so sad- these stories. Keep in mind that we only hear about the cases that "fall through the cracks"- the news doesn't tell you about the many kids who are saved from fates like these! They don't tell you about the moms who get help when they lose their sanity! We are so focused on the negative, we tend to overlook the positive. The world is not so bleak, nor is it filled with tons of bad people. The bad apples certainly get most of the attention though.

The lesson to be learned by the rest of us, is to take people who cry out for help seriously. Put your hand out in compassion to people who are desparate and overwhelmed in your own "circle". The really sad thing about many of these stories is that often these parents have been "crying out" for help for a while, and no one had the time or the energy to help them get the help thier families need. So the point is, don't shrug off those in need that you DO cross paths with in life, when they call out for help!

And the rest of time... hug your children close and smile every time you get the opportunity... life is too short to dwell on the painful things in this world!

-M.

I agree with you completely. It absolutely sickens me when I hear of these stories. The thing is we can't make sense of any of it because there is no sense to it. It makes me soooo angry. I mean if you are going to commit suicide, fine that's your choice but leave these little ones and others out of it!! I too will get upset, when I hear about these occurences. I look at my kids and I can't ever imagine doing something harmful to them! I will go and quickly love on my kids during these times and thank the Lord for them. I will pray for those lost and for those left behind.

I pretty much stopped listening to the news when I had my first child. I can't take it. I didn't even read most of your post, since now that awful story is back in my head. The best I can make of it is that it makes me appreciate my children and the fact I am a good mom all the more. And maybe people will eventually start paying attention to issues of mental health and domestivc violence in this country. Maybe one of these days...

i agree that these people were not mentally healthy, I feel sorry for them J. as I do those affected by it, imagine how hopeless she must have felt to think that drowning herself was the best thing.......also as for people that forgot their kids, I feel horrible for them, sad to say accidents happen, and lack of sleep from having a new baby, or J. someone that has memory problems, or is realyl stressed can make it all the more likely...I mean they lost their kid, how mch more punnishment do they need for simply forgetting, or being stressed and thinking they dropped them off...moms always have stories how they got all the stuff in the car and then realized the baby was in the car seat in the living room, we're not perfect, and these people are going to suffer the rest of their lives for an honest brain lapse...I would like to think they';d have the worlds support in helping them heal.....thats J. M. though, I always play devils advocaate...and cant hate people

Unfortunately these sorts of thing (accidental deaths) happens every year - babies left in cars who over heat and die, toddlers pressing against screens and falling out windows from high rise buildings, etc. It's terrible and I think the parents suffer feelings of horrible guilt forever from it.
And while I'd like to think every parent is as careful as can be, any idiot can breed and some people just don't have it in them to care for their children.
As far as mental illness in a parent goes - there tends to be a whole lot of suffering involved whether the kids live or not. My grandmother was institutionalized when my mother was 14 and it's an absolute miracle my Mom survived her childhood.
And then there's the spite killings. The "If I can't have them/keep them, then nobody will" attitude when divorced parents are locked into a mortal spite match for the last word.
Let's not forget honor killings. Generally killing a family member who's supposedly tainted the families honor usually by marrying out their faith.
I guess those are special kinds of mental illness.

I take it personally too. I try not to but its awful to think that there are really people who are either that evil or in that bad of a place in their own life that they take it out on a child.
There was an awful local story on the news yesterday of a 2year old beaten to death by his mommas boyfriend. This sob burned the kid with a lightbulb and even ran over him with a vacum cleaner. I couldnt sleep after watching that. It makes me sad that there are so many great people out there who dont have kids for whatever reason, and than there are dirtbags who can and do breed and dont care about their kids. I hope i never ever have even a thought of doing something awful to any child

In my home we generally don't listen to the news and we seem to be better off for it. Just two nights ago we happened to have the new on. This particular station gives you a heads up of their stories at the bottom of the screen. The first 6 stories were about death and murders. My question is always why do those stories get top billing?

Yes it is heart breaking when these things happen. I think the media really does play these things up both in the news as well as television programming. Just the use of the word programming says much.

I pray often so should you.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I feel exactly the same way. When I read stories like that and I talk to hubby about it, I get so choked up it's hard to continue talking. It's something about being a parent. You see helpless little ones and it kills you to see anyone hurting a child.

It is terribly tragic and doesn't make any sense at all.

can you please let people know what this is about better, I had my fair share of this the day of and was moving on, I can not dwell on this and only do my best to make sure I am not in the same position as these women.

This upset me terribly too. It is just unimaginable and feels so awful to think about what those babies went through. I feel so bad for the little boy who got out who will relive this forever and probably always wonder what he could have done. It is just heartwrenching. It is not a good thing to think about, but people should be at least aware that this sort of thing happens and to pay attention if we know someone who is struggling or overwhelmed or just not quite right. Not that it can happen to anyone, because it can't, but just because you never really know.