First, you are the parent and set the criteria of what is acceptable in your home. Then you communicate that to all around you, including your child.
Your daughter is the one who is young, unschooled and certainly without the wisdom of life. It is your responsibility to help her to learn how to function appropriately in this world.
So, when she starts slapping or kicking you, you take her in your lap and begin teaching. "In our family we use our words not our hands and feet to tell each other what we want." That is the standard that you continue to hold her to.
Next, you will want to let her know that you understand that she has something that she is wanting from you and that you cannot understand hits and kicks, only words. (This is where you will need to help her depending on her ablity to verbalize.)
You could make a game of it. "I know that you may be frustrated because you don't have enough words, so let's make a game." You could go through a list of possible needs with her responding "yes" or "no". You could have her take you to what she needs/wants, point out what she is trying to tell you, etc.
When she starts to hit or kick, remind her that "we use words" and go through the process. If she refuses to calm down, you could put her in "time out" to give her brain (or her hands and feet) a quiet time to remember that we only use words. (Time-out is another discussion.)
I have worked at a day care and then preschool for several years and find that children respond to being taught more appropriate behavior.
Hope that this gives you some ideas.
S-