AFTER READING YOUR SO WHAT HAPPEND:
Straight lying? Change the locks, pack a bag for him (not all his things), just a bathroom bag, change of underwear, put a short note on the door letting him know she has seen for herself what's going on, and when he's ready to talk and tell the truth and make some adult decisions, give her a call. Tell him to avioid further traumatizing the family, call at a decent hour and she will let him know when and where the conversation will take place.
Blessings.....
J.,
Send her this--I found it on the web:
You should NEVER make yourself less than who you are in order to stay with someone – however, you should be flexible and always ready ready to compromise.
So here are some valuable tips that will help you to deal with your cheating spouse in a way where you will be able to maintain your self respect.
Ask Your Spouse Why they Cheated -And if There Was Anything You Could’ve Done To Stop It?
This is not to say it was your fault your spouse cheated. It’s just that you need to be clear in your own mind why it happened so you can see if it is something you can work through.
If your cheating spouse starts to immediately point the finger at you when you sit down to talk to them, then you need to let them know that you will NOT take the blame for their actions.
No one can make anyone cheat, but when it happens, hands need to be held up and the behavior needs to owned by those who made the mistake.
Make sure your spouse understands where you’re coming from! Let them know how badly hurt you are – just don’t fall into the trap of being blamed for their bad behavior.
Make Sure Your Spouse Understands You Won’t Put Up With Them Cheating On You!
This is one of the biggest mistakes that those who have been cheated on make when they’re face to face with their cheating spouse.
Either they don’t get the point across clearly enough to their spouse that they WILL NOT put up with any further cheating or their cheating spouse has got to the point where what their spouse feels and says is not important.
So the spouse invariably continues the affair once the dust settles.
False Ultimatums are Not the Way to Go!
Don’t lay down false ultimatums. If you lay down an ultimatum – “end the affair or I leave!” Then you better be prepared to leave if the affair continues.
Nothing will erode your self-esteem and your authority greater as saying one thing and then having to back down from what you’ve said. You’ll appear weak and pretty much your spouse will now hold all the power.
So, if you lay down ultimatums and don’t live by them, then you will die by them!
No matter what tips I give you it is never going to be easy to deal with a cheating spouse. Your feelings are hurt and your emotions are running high. Often the cheater doesn’t even fully understand the consequences of their devastating behavior.
It is up to you, as the one cheated upon, to make sure they understand and take how you feel seriously! Because if they don’t take how you feel seriously, then they will simply continue their cheating ways!
Lastly, I agree with one of the other mama's, try to get a close friend or relative nearby, get to her as soon as possible, or better yet if she can come to you and just get away and sort out her thoughts, that would be best.
Blessings....
