My Baby Sleeping with Me!

I know it will be difficult, but the quicker you can break the habit, the better it will be. I had to let my little one cry himself to sleep, but that only lasted about 4 nights for us. It was extremely hard on me to lay in bed listening to him cry, but better for all of us in the long run, including my marriage!

Hi Jamie,

I have seen in pediatrics magazines or somewhere about co-sleepers,for example www.armsreach.com where they sleep on one side and the hubby can sleep on the other side. Hope this helps.

Hi J.!
i totally understand where you are right now! My son is almost eight months old and I just recently got him out of the bed with me and into his own bed!
The thing that I did was I put him in his own bed to begin with and the first time he woke up I put him in bed with me for the rest of the night for a few nights until he got used to going into his own bed. After a few nights, I would put him in his own bed to start with and after the first feeding would put him back into his own bed and then if he woke up again, would put him in bed with me. Eventually, he started sleeping all night in his own bed, waking up once to eat but going right back into his own bed. It just takes time to get the baby to realize they can self-sooth and they don't need you right there to help them to go back to sleep should they happen to wake up. My son now self soothes himself, and some nights when he wakes up, he will talk to himself and put himself back to sleep! I hope this helps!! It will get better soon!

My oldest son slept with his dad and I til her was 6. My daughter never slept with us and my youngest son he slept with us for about a month (off and on) and he is now in his crib.

There is NOTHING wrong with having your kids sleep with you...HOWEVER...when it starts disrupting sleep and the love life...that could create an issue.

I too went back to work early with my last child (part time after 3 weeks off with C section) and the guilt nearly ate me alive. I stayed home with my 2 eldest for about 5 years so this going back to work and not "raising" my baby was a hard thing.

I would suggest rocking you baby to sleep so that you can have that mommy bonding time at night. Quiet room, soothing music...jsut you and your baby. And if he is up with you in the mornings...try and get some mommy time in there too.

With the waking up...well...you started it...(and I mean that tongue in cheek) there is going to a transition period in getting him sleeping back in his bed.

But I would try putting his bed in your room for a while and see how that works out. With my older son, he slept with us...graduating to a pallet on the floor...then to a mattress on the floor and then to a big boy bed (after my daughter was born)

Having a big enough bed does help too...as others have suggested.

Smiles to you. Good luck.

First off... Cosleeping is NOT a terrible thing. It's actually very common and considered normal in many cultures. There are a lot of benefits to it. Here in America though, it's not nearly as accepted and, as a culture, we have a bias against it.

Get a guard rail on your mattress and put the baby between the guard rail and you. That's probably the safest way to cosleep other than getting a side car crib. That way, your husband can sleep next to you. Also, at 8 months he's probably a bit more hardy than a new born so I think your husbands fears could be a bit exaggerated.

My advice is to do what works to get you and your family some sleep. If that means cosleeping then, so be it. If this causes a major rift in your family though, then try transitioning him to his crib. You might try getting a crib and putting it up next to your bed for several nights. Check out Elizabeth Pantley's book -- No Cry Sleep Solution. There are suggestions on how to do this.

Good luck!

There's nothing terrible about having your baby sleep with you. Babies have an inate need to be near their parents and you're doing the best you can to meet that need. You don't mention what size bed you have, but my experience was that you really need a king size bed for that to be comfortable for everyone. If you have room, you could put his crib next to your bed with the side down. We ended up getting one of those toddler bed side rails and put that on our king size bed and the baby slept on that side. When our first son was older, we put his twin bed beside our bed and then transitioned that bed upstairs to his room was he was around 2 (before his baby brother was born). By the time his brother was born, we just used the portable crib in our room and he would sleep in there at nite until he woke up for the first time and then he'd spend the rest of the nite in our bed.

You have to figure out what works best for you and your family and I hope your husband understands that you're doing the best you can to meet your baby's needs - this is just such a short period of time where this need is so intense.

I have a 2 year old that I have been trying to get out of my bed for about a year. I would transition your baby asap. I have a 3 month old that we make sure sleeps in her own bed so we don't have a repeat.

Our daughter slept in our room for the first 6 months and I would put her in the bed to nurse and sometimes leave her there and sometimes put her back in her pack-n-play(in our room). She slept pretty good in there as long as she was swaddled(Kiddopotomus at Babies R US is a must have)and in her sleep positioner. After six months we took it down so it would not be a crutch. You might try a pack and play just to have him close. It took awhile for me to get to the point to let her cry it out in her bed but everyone said you will know when you are ready. When she was 9 months I finally had enough of not getting any sleep so that was the night. She cried for 45 minutes and now she sleeps the whole night and calls for us in the morning. She puts herself to sleep at night!...It is GREAT!!!

Honestly, I would say that even though it means missing out on some sleep for you to let him cry it out. I never let my little one sleep with me on a regular basis but we have taken him to Europe 3 times in his short life and he sleeps with us while we are there. It is always hard for him to transition back to the crib so I go and get him. The first time this went on for a couple of weeks until I was so exhausted I didn't know which end of me was up. I let him cry just for a couple of nights and when I didn't come and get him he went back to sleep on his own. I know from friends that the habit gets harder and harder to break so my advice would be to try it now. And maybe start with the weekend if you don't have to go to work. I really hope you get your husband back in bed and your little one out!

It is a bad habit to let children sleep with their parents. They can bond with parents on the sofa before bedtime. It is essential husband & wife have a good relationship (especially together in bed). My husband would put our children back into their bed if they came to sleep with us. They need to learn the security of staying by themselves in their own bed--perhaps singing a lullaby, rocking, loving on them and putting them back in their own bed would help. Otherwise, sternness, like "hush" may help, or let them cry a little (and/or turning on soothing music to sleep by). From Mamma who brought up 3 boys. LS

Cosleeping is a very natural thing. Until very recently in our history, whole families slept togather in one bed. They still do in many cultures and humans are the only species on earth that excpet little babies to sleep alone! The incidcent of SIDS is lower for cosleepers too. studies have shown that the cosleeping pair (momma and baby) brain waves actually synch up during sleep and they cycle in and out of deep sleep togather. A baby left alone can go into too deep of a sleep, he is literally learning HOW To sleep from you. Even asleep you are monitoring him. Im sure you wake up for every little noise or movement. I find I actually get more sleep this way, I check on the baby and am right back to sleep myself. Otherwise, Id be up and down all night running to check. It's babys instince to cry when left alone to sleep. We live in a moder society but our instincts developed over millions of years in the wild. Babies left alone when we were hunters and gatherers would have been eaten by a predator, so its babys survival instinct to cry for you at night. Of course you know he's safe in your home, but he doesnt know that yet. I say follow your instincts, those mamma instincts are usually right on target!

Edited to add: can you push your bed up against a wall so maybe baby can sleep between you and the wall and daddy can come back to bed? Or you can buy a sidesleeper that is a little baby bed that attaches right to the side of your bed and he cant roll out! Again, this way baby isnt between you and daddy so daddy can come back to bed!

One more quick thought: I know a lot of people advocate crying it out, I don't. I know they say the kids sleep great through the night. To that I just have to say that my mom also thinks that I slept great through the night because she would just put me back in my bed or let me cry it out and I learned to sleep on my own. I didnt. I learned not to go to her or to cry out for her becuase I knew it wouldnt do me anygood. Instead, I learned to lay pefectly still and barely breath on allthose long nights when I was terrified by myself in the dark. I thought if I was still and quite no monsters would find me. But all the adults in the hosue apparently thought I was doing great in there according to what Ive been told now. My mother had no idea what was really going on. All I learned was that she wouldnt come when I was scared and wanted her. thats just my experiance for whats its worth.

The VERY best gift a couple can give their children is first with each other, which makes a healthy marriage, which naturally makes a happy home for the children.So--- If you have a short play time, hug and rock time, your baby may cry a few nights, but if you pat him, sing to him, reassure him, it will pass. your husband shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. Try this on your days off first so if you don't get as much sleep it won't hurt your work.

Ok, as someone who believes in the family bed, and who has been co-sleeping for over three years, I have a few questions.

What size is your bed? If its a Queen or King, there should be plenty of room, although a King is best.

How actively does your husband sleep? Does he toss and turn a lot? If he does I can understand his fears, but if he doesn't, he is just being overly fearful. But better safe than sorry, right?

The way we did it worked great for us. Our room was small so it really helped to do it this way. We put my side of the bed against the wall. Basically it was in a corner; headboard against one wall, side against another. I had to climb into bed from the foot of the bed but I didn't mind.

I put my son between me and the wall. I knew I wouldn't roll on him and I was right. Once you are sleeping with your baby, you sleep a little lighter than you would otherwise, but he matches his sleep pattern to yours. Its been suggested in some studies that it prevents SIDS because the baby doesn't fall into a deep sleep that he can't wake from in case he's not getting enough air. He also doesn't "forget" to breathe because he is matching your breathing patterns.

When the baby is a little older and able to roll over independently, he usually is also big enough to be "felt" by your husband and the threat of him rolling onto him is much less. Mine didn't roll much anyway, so it wasn't a big worry.

As he grew, my son eventually was able to sleep between my husband and I or between me and the wall and we all slept fine.

One last note. Family beds are very common in other parts of the world and only in this country is it frowned upon. When your baby is little, he needs you. He'll only be little once. As he grows, he may decide he wants to be in his own space and that will be plenty of time to transition him.

At 8 months though, he should be old enough to be able to sleep safely between you and your husband without a worry. Try to talk to your husband and see if maybe there are other reasons why he's refusing to sleep with the both of you. If that's the case, it's a whole new ballgame.

I am a SAHM. So I don't really have the guilt issue. But when DD was a baby we had a similar issue. She was in a bassinet in our room 'til 4 months. Then it was plainly obvious she had totally outgrown it! So we knew it was time for the crib. For us it was never an option for her to be in bed with us. I know my mom did with me, but I didn't want my DD to do that. It was hard. She'd cry and we'd pick her up and rock her. But as soon as we laid her down...she'd wake up. So our bad habit was we slept in the rocker. DH liked it in a way, because he got snuggle time with her. She's a momma's girl all the way!! But it got to the point where it was just way way too uncomfortable. I read a sleep book and it suggested to do "tough" love. At this point she was 10 months old!! Yes, rocker-slept for 6 months. We were crazy. The book suggested to put her in her crib and make sure she has what she needs and leave the room. And NOT go in. OMG that was sooo hard. I did it. She cried for over an hour! I felt like the worst mom in the entire world, letting my precious baby girl that took us 8 years to have just cry and cry. The book suggested to do this way for a few days. Day 2 she only cried 50 minutes. And everyday got less and less, when she knew it was bedtime and mommy wasn't gonna just take her out immediately. We also had a routine. Bath at night and listen to some lullaby's. Once she stopped crying and if one day she did wake up crying...well, I'd give her a few minutes and if she was still crying then I'd comfort her and she'd go back to sleep quick! :) That's what worked for us. She's a little monkey, so at 16 months we had to put her in a toddler bed...and it still worked. Laid her down and she stayed there. However, she did and does still sleep through the night, but we still rock at least a little in the rocker or just snuggle in a chair. That'll be the next thing to break!! lol It is hard, I know. But you just have to do it for you, your husband, and precious baby boy! Definitely want our kids growing up and seeing a happy married relationship. Sleep for dad sure helps! ;)

Hi J.:
I am a big supporter of the "family bed" but I also understand how important it is for the family to function. So, since it isn't working all that well for you to have the baby with you in bed, I would support working on him sleeping on his own. Here's some ideas: expect this to take some time and effort on your part.
Start with a nice, consistent bedtime. Make it relaxing, calming...
When the baby wakes up, go and let him know you're there. As long as he's okay, lay him back down and quietly tell him he's fine and good night. When he cries again, just do the same thing. I think the main thing is to be calm and reassuring.
Figure out what he needs for comfort: paci, blanket, music nice lullaby or classical stuff, sound machine.
I do not advocate letting babies cry themselves to sleep.
One of mine usually fussed for a few minutes and then went to sleep.
Also, things change as children grow. He may become used to sleeping by himself and then a few months down the line, he may need help again.
I have four grown children and an 8 year old - and I haven't slept through the night in a long, long time. Believe me, this is the EASY part - enjoy it all you can!!
A.

You may need to get up and sooth him, either by rocking of rubbing his back when he cries in the night, but he needs to stay in his bed. Your husband deserves to be in his own bed. If he works hard he doesn't need to be tired when he gets up each morning from sleeping on a couch. I'm not big on letting babies cry indefinitely, but try to let him work it out. Babies get on a schedule very easy and he now has scheduled himself to wake up. Be patient and know that you can change his habit.
J.

Get a copy of the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It will tell you how to sleep train your baby to put themselves to sleep in their own bed. It is great. You will probably have a few nights of him crying out so make sure to try the techniques when you have a few days to lose sleep (like the weekend)

Hope this helps.

Why not place a bassinet next to your side of the bed? Perhaps knowing you are there, smelling you, etc. will comfort your baby whilst moving him out on his own.

I've seen in some catalogs a bed that attaches to the mom's side of the bed, but am unable to find that on-line at the moment.

Good Luck.

ok, i agree there is nothing wrong with co-sleeping, however here is some advice from someone who felt the same as you and broke my baby from my bed. she ended up moving all night and keeping me awake not to mention i missed cuddling with my husband. what it comes down to is your going to have to sacrafice some sleep for a few days- a week. mine wasnt that young only because we were in the middle of moving from germany back to the states. you need to just put him down and let him cry. some may dissagree about just letting them cry for so long but im telling you it worked and they are going to cry at any age over this subject only at this age they cant kick and hit you when they are mad. so just let him cry he may cry for awhile, if he gets out of hand go rub his belly or back and try to walk back out, i dont suggest picking him up, give him a false since of hope tht your going to let him in your bed. be strong and if you need to call a friend while he is crying to pass the time without feeling like your going to go pick him up. its not easy but it works. i hated it but its worth it now if you really want your bed back to yourself(and your husband). i hope this is helpfull. goodluck!!!

J. t.

Sounds like you have two choices:
1. Be a co-sleeping family. This means your husband starts sleeping in his own bed with you.

2. Move your son back to his crib all night. I know that it feels like you are spending more time with him, but you really aren't - not meaningful time. I work full time too, and I know it can make you feel guilty. I'm sure you are a great mom, and I bet your son feels your love all the time. Let him cry it out for a few nights, and you'll all be happier in the long run. Your son won't hold anything against you - I promise. After the first night of letting my son cry it out (which was excruciating but worth it), he was still full of smiles when I went in to get him the next morning. And after a few nights, there was no more crying, he was getting better sleep, and so were we.

Good luck & God bless! Your son is clearly blessed to have such a caring mom!

Hi there! My son slept with us until we were able to afford a monitor with a tv screen, I just didn't feel safe not seeing him in his crib. We had to start out on a weekend to get my son to sleep in his crib. The best thing to do is put him to bed at his normal time on Friday night and whenever he wakes up, let him cry for just a little bit (no more than 10-15min or as long as you can bear) and then go in and check on him. Pat his back, rub his tummy, whatever he likes to soothe him. If your husband is home on the weekends, have him tag team with you throughout the night. It may take several days, but starting on the weekend is usually easier! It took my son about 3 days to realize he wasn't sleeping with me anymore, and he actually relished having all the room to stretch out. Good luck!

my 3 kids have all slept w/me (us). Dr Sears recommends that you get a safe bedrail and let baby sleep between you and the rail. Thats what i've done. my first stayed with us til 10mo, the 2nd til 2 1/2mo, and the third is 3 1/2 mo now, and like you I just want rest, so no movin him now! I've just "known" when they needed to go-they became restless and no one was sleeping well. hth a little!

I have two boys, they're 2 1/2 and 16months old. I had both babies sleep with us in our bed. I cuddled them and held them close to me. My husband got used to it very quickly. We both really enjoyed sleeping with our boys, my husband after a while actually began to say, that they really slept with me not us, since they slept glued to me. That was the only way I felt comfortable, so I didn't worry about my husband rolling over them and they loved it. After a few months, maybe 5 or 6, I had them sleep in a port-a-crib in my room. Only when they were about 8 months, I put then in their own rooms. That is just what worked for us, we didn't have any problems and our boys are very independent.

I read all about co-sleeping when our first baby was born, and I knew it was for us. I loved cuddling with them, and all the benefits of co-sleeping were definitely a plus!!

Your hubby can always get ear plugs, mine can't live without them, so it really worked for us :) He knows you love him, it's only a few months that you can share these special moments with your baby, before they become too independent, then your hubby can have you all to himself again. Good luck!

M.

Ween him now while you can! Don't get sucked into doing that. My son is 28 months old and STILL sleeps with me and now the nightmare of getting him out of my bed is daunting because he's so attached to me he throws temper fits and won't stay in his room at all. Do it now before he's too old for it to be traumtic for everyone. Plus, its important for your marriage!

The baby beds that attach to the side of your bed are actually called "co-sleepers". It is like a pack and play with one side missing except the mattress is higher. My daughter slept with us until she was 8 months old and then she wanted her own bed. I don't think you have to "break" them of this habit now.. children will go to their own bed when their ready.

First of all your baby is asleep so he is not thinking about love, also, once you start this it is REAL hard to break them of this. I have a friend who has a 2 year old who wont sleep in his bed and her husband and her fight about it all the time. you need to put your marriage first. Your marriage is the foundation of the family and you need to keep it strong.

I also think if you are going to do a "family Bed" then the entire "family" needs to be on board with it. it cant be just you and the baby's bed then you are pushing your husband out of the picture and he will resent that. plus most men REALLY want to sleep in their bed with their wife and not the baby.

I personally do not believe in the family bed. in my oppinion if makes kids insecure. My kids KNOW that I love them and if they need me all they have to do is call me.

Do it on a week end when you can sleep late the next day but you need to put him in his bed he is 8 months old so he will be fine.

DO NOT GIVE IN, once you bring that baby back to your bed, you have to start all over again. If you need to sleep with him sleep in HIS room. Lay down by the crib until he falls asleep then leave. turn a night light on and play some lullabies on repeat so they stay on all night.

I keep a couple of toys like a small stuffed animal and a book in my sons crib along with a sippy cup of water...

Good luck
A.

I am going to be blunt about this. I agree with all of the moms, but have you thought about the safety aspect? Babies move when you asleep and can get stuck and smother. Two doors down from me the baby was sleeping with the parents and got caught between the headboard and the mattress and smothered. This was just about 2 months ago. Please, Please, Please put the baby in a bed next to yours if anything. You have to think about these things.

The Sleep Lady's guide to gently teaching your child to sleep through the night! (She was on Oprah once) It saved us more than once:) We have two girls and I am a full time Mom as well. Don't feel guilty putting baby back in his bed, let this book guide you to what will fit your baby and you in order to get him in his bed and hubby back in yours:)

I am a mother of two, they are eight years apart, with my first born I made a point of not letting him sleep with me and my husband, but when my second child came she did not sleep well so we started putting her in the bed with us just so we could get a good nights sleep well to make a long story short we tried everything to get her to sleep in her own bed we bought a toddler bed, we even put it at the end of our bed, nothing worked she was five years old when we got her out of bed with us lots of crying on our daughters part so a word of advice stop it before it gets out or control.

I did the same and I have NO regrets. We joke about the family bed, but I know my son has benefited from the sense of security he has when he's with us. They make co-sleepers that you can place on your side of the bed--about the size of a playpen but level to your mattress. Your baby can sleep in his own space but have you within reach and vice versa. Your hubby can go back to having his side of the bed. We did not intend to go this route when our son was born, but since I breastfed for the first year, it just made sense for us.

Once he was too big for a co-sleeper, we got him a toddler bed but placed it in our room. We've had several friends that have done the same thing with their children; it seems to be more accepted in other cultures. Check out www.askdrsears.com to hear from a pediatrician who supports co-sleeping. There is even scientific research, with sources cited, showing the benefits to your child.

Good luck with whatever approach you choose to use, but make sure to get Daddy gets back into your bed.

I am going back many years here, but I recall sleeping in a crib in my parents room next to the side of the bed my mom slept on. And later moving to my bed in another room. So if I were you, I would get a crib and put him 8 months old in a crib. He can see you. Put a nightgown or shirt of yours in their so he has your scent and he should be fine. He can hear you and he will be safe. You may avoid unpleasant resentment from hubby sleeping on the couch and not getting a good night's sleep because of this. Besides you are man and woman before you are mother. Remember that in that order. When baby(s) grow up and leave who will be with you? You'd better work on that relationship first even though it seems hard.

I know exactly how you feel. My husband and I were no different than you with our first born. She was a premie which made us even more on edge and aware of her every need. Our daughter kept us in a routine of getting up at 3:00 am every morning when she was 9 months old. Our pediatritian told us to "let her cry". He said in 3 days she would stop. He was right! The first night it was 50 minutes of crying - of course, at the time, we didn't know it was going to end at 50 minutes so that time was exhausting. But, the 2nd night it was only 30 minutes, then 10 the 3rd night. We all slept better after that! I know you love your wonderful new baby boy, but, don't forget, your husband comes first!

Plus, remember, baby won't remember any of this -- hubby will. : )

Best of luck to you and congratulations on your baby boy.

I am not against co-sleeping but I think it is important for a child to self sooth and be able to put them selves to sleep with out you. I allow my children to sleep with me from time to time and always if the weather is bad. I was a working mom when my son was 8 months so I do understand the guilt but I established a routine at night a warm bath, a book, and then I rocked him. At first it was like a mercury switch he would wake up as soon as i layed him down so then I made him lay down and I would pat his back until he fell asleep. It took about a week to completley get him used to his bed. when he woke up at night my husband would answer the wake up the same way rock him and then pat him to sleep. Both my children we did the same way and they both sleep well in there beds. I then moved my son to a daycare right by my office and then picked him up for lunch 3 times a week my husband would go out of his way to pick him up early whenever possible we really worked hard at spending time with him during his awake hours which was healthier than creating dependencies that were not in the best interest of our son. It made a big differnce even though it took a little extra effort. Good luck It is such a sweet age, I loved it!!

I believe the best gift we can give our children is happy, loving, well-rested, in-love parents.....if you're honest with yourself, you and your baby are probably not sleeping all that well either, you're probably subconsciously aware that you might roll on him also! You have a very sweet and understanding husband to actually give up his sleeping place, and partner for his baby - you're a lucky girl! Don't push it though, you need to transition the baby to his own bed, it might be a little difficult at this point but it should be done soon I would say. Doesn't he take naps? If he sleeps in his crib for naps he should be able to take nights easier, he may have to cry a little (which I am not a big fan of - letting babies cry to sleep) but it may have to happen at first....don't delay.....the baby is old enough to cry a bit sometimes to sleep though.....good luck to you! and I understand your hating to be away from him all day, but sleeping with him really won't make up for daytime interaction, you know? Don't feel badly....it will be ok soon.

I'm sure your son knows you love him. What I did with my two children is put a little blanket that has my scent on it in the crib with them. When I got home from work, I would just tuck this little blank under my shirt for a little and when they went down to sleep, I put the blanket with them. The blanket picks up your body scent and reassure them. If you were a certain type of cologne all they time, your child may recognize that smell and then all you have to do is spray it on something in/near the crib. To this this one works on my children.

I dont know what to tell you but it will get even harder if you dont break it now! I love my kids in the bed with me but my daughter is almost 4 and my son just turned two and me and my husbands bed has been a family bed for almost 4 years! We have recently tried to get our kids to sleep in their own bed but they cried litterally all night long and i cant do that to them when it was my fault they are not there in the first place! So my advice to you is break it when that little one dosent realy understand what is going on! Not having my husband to myself has put a strain on our marriage and it just isnt fun anymore!! Hope this helps and good luck

Hi J.! All I can say is I have done the same! I wish I hadn't if that helps you at all... My daughter just turned 2 and when we moved from Chicago to McKinney we didn't set up her crib right away and she ended up sleeping with us.(that was in September) The past couple of nights I have tried transitioning her back into her crib and it has been a nightmare! Last night she cried and screamed mommy for almost 2 hours before I just couldn't take it anymore and brought her into bed with us. I myself am exhausted and giving in ensures some sleep..so that's the route I usually take. Even though she is getting bigger by the day and kicks me all night long ..so I really don't sleep either way I go I guess...
So- what I have learned is the longer you wait, the worse it is! Unless you plan on buying a huge bed and allowing the baby to continue to sleep in bed with mommy and daddy...but if you plan to have more children this will be an issue and if they are kicked out of bed once the new little one comes along they will feel rejected and jealous of the new baby. So, that's where I am at.. Wish you the best of luck!
-A.

Ok, we broke all the rules right along with you. We have teens, who slept with us until they were about 7. Our 5 yr. old son is still sleeping with us. That's where they feel safe and comfy....it worked for us. There are co-sleepers available at stores that would keep your baby close to you and safe. I slept in the middle, w/ a pillow on the edge of the bed to keep the babies from rolling off until they were big enough to go to the middle. It gave my husband and I cuddle time at night then, and gives all of us that time now. Bedtime is a special story and cuddle time before lights go out. Quality family time. Good luck and don't feel like you need to apologize to anyone for what works for you.