My 6 y.o. Hit a Teacher at Camp Drop-off!

He's only 6 and he was scared.

If she's a counselor, she should be able to handle kids. Just have him apologize to her. My daughter has been a camp counselor for 6 years and I just asked her what you should do and she says she's dealt with way worse things than that. She says she would talk to the kid and give him the consequences herself.

She says kids do stuff like that all the time, and it's not a big deal at all, and a counselor should totally understand that. She says the counselor is the one in charge, and should be the one to deal with it.

She doesn't think you need to give him any punishments.

In addition, my daughter says giving him more punishments is going to give him a negative experience of camp. If it's a constant problem, she says, then that's a different issue.

I see too many excueses being made here for a child who HIT an adult.

The way you handle this will set the stage on whether he ever tries to hit an adult again - even you. If you sugar coat it and offer him excuses (I know you were frightened and probably didn't mean to....) he will hit again. Guaranteed - no doubt about it.

You can't offer any excuses. You have to come down HARD so he knows this CANNOT EVER happen again.

I think an in-person apology is the way to go. Now that he has hit, the focus should be on making amends. Hitting is wrong, not just because it physically hurts, but because it also damages relationships.

I'm surprised by some of the attitudes that the counselors should expect/be fine with being hit. No, this is not true. No one likes to be hit. Furthermore, not apologizing or following up means that he gets the message that hitting others is okay and that you don't have to care afterward.

If it were me, and my son was 'not ready' to check in with that person, I would revoke a privilege/treat until my son was ready to genuinely talk to that person and make amends. Not so much as a punishment, but as a "we can't pretend things are okay when they aren't. You've left something undone that needs to be fixed"... and acknowledgement of the gravity of the situation.

I guess I am on the other side of this compared to the others who have already answered...

He is 6. He was scared. He didn't want her to take him away from you.

I think the talking to was good, have another one when you get home, have him apologize when he sees her next time and let that be the end of it.

~I get that hitting is wrong....but he was scared and sad...if he were mine, I would cut him some slack, ESPECIALLY if this was out of character for him!!

He doesn't need to be punished, he needs to understand his feelings better and how to deal with them.

You talked to him this morning, and that was great! See what happens when you pick him up today. Ask him how his day was. If it went well, tell him that you are so happy he had a good time but remind him that you were disappointed this morning and have him apologize to the counselor and be done with it. It's over. Don't wait until tomorrow. Do it right away and move on.

If it was not a good day, take him home, really listen to him and consider how to approach his feelings, the incident and tomorrow. Whatever you do, you have to let it go. He made a mistake, but he's 6 years old. He's still learning. Punishing him isn't going to teach him anything.

I think by giving him more attention after his bad behavior, you may have rewarded the bad behavior. (Sorry) In a situation like this, I really think that you're best off handing the child to the teacher, waving a cheery goodbye, and getting the heck out of Dodge. Dragging out the goodbye leaves room for hysterics and other undesirable behavior, IMO.

When he gets home tonight, take away whatever privileges he enjoys (TV, video games, whatever) and put him to bed early (because children who act out must be doing so because they are tired, yes? At least that's what I tell my kids! ;).

Tomorrow, drop him off as quickly as possible, with no talking the situation to death, making him comfortable, whatever. Let the counselors handle it, that's what they're paid for. This is not THAT new of a situation for him; he is there every day after school. Let the counselors set their expectations with your son, and let the counselors know after camp today that you support them in setting forth appropriate discipline for any misbehavior on your son's part. I hope tomorrow is a better day!

I think it is great that you are following up on this! Beyond a written note to the camp counselor I think your frightened 6 year old son's feelings are the thing to address. It sounds like he is feeling a lot of anxiety about new situations. Many children feel this every day before school or an event. Two of my children went through this for years. Our wonderful pediatrician was able to give us some tips on working through their fear feelings. I don't think your son meant to hit anyone, his feelings just took over & he reacted. Kids feel powerless often and don't know how else to deal with the intimidating situation. If open to it, there are counselors who just work with children and they have great results with this kind of thing. I wish you & your little guy success! Six is a precious age.

WELCOME TO MAMAPEDIA!!!

He's got to apologize. Has he? If not, he needs to do this first thing tomorrow morning. To the teacher's face, in person and have him write a note of apology as well.

That in addition to whatever home repercussions are the norm for you--no tv for a week, etc.

In addition to a stiff penalty for this offense, you need to sit down with him and and come up with a plan for how he will deal with his feelings more appropriately next time.

Your child goes to school, right? (In other words, he isn't homeschooled...) So he is used to having teachers. What is so different about going to camp since he is used to going to school?

That's what you should be trying to determine.

Now, I agree with every single post here that says that you just cannot excuse his behavior away. Six is a precious age, as has been mentioned, but he is just TOO old to be allowed to get away with hitting a teacher. He should have had a real consequence as soon as he got home. (I hope you gave him one already.)

He also needs to know that he will have a much WORSE consequence if he does it again.

Good luck,
Dawn

At 6 I would have him stay in his room when he's home the rest of the week, coming out for meals, quick baths and using the bathroom. And if there's a TV or other electronics in his room I'd remove them. My guy would know by the end of the week he's not to hit anyone, UNLESS the person is trying to cause him physical harm.

I think you handled it okay today - but you need to review it with him tonight, and remind him in the morning, that hitting anyone is not acceptable behavior and set up a strict consequence if it happens again. Let him know the consequence up front, so he makes an informed decision should he hit again.

Also, I would think the camp counselor should have addressed this issue with him. I worked in youth development programs for many years, and any child who hit a counselor would have been disciplined by the camp - i.e., loss of field trip privileges, suspension, etc.

Really, I get that he was scared, but do not make excuses for this action.

I agree with Jennifer--he was really emotional and feeling unhappy/scared/insecure, and the teacher tried to (in his mind) force him away from you. He may or may not know this teacher very well (if he doesn't, that's one more reason he might react badly to a teacher trying to touch him when he's really upset or "force" him (in his mind) to leave you.

Sit down and talk with him. If needed, take the extra time to go early and ease into this. Ask the teachers if you can have him meet them by name and spend a few minutes getting to know them. And remind him to use his words to tell people he's upset. He sounds emotionally overwhelmed and needs help working through this, instead of being punished. Talk to him tonight and ask him about it. Listen. Brainstorm ways he can work through this (maybe having a special toy or keepsake in his backpack? A note from mom/dad in his lunch box? the ability to call if he's worried or scared at camp?).

I would have him to write an apology letter to the teacher explaining what happened and why he won't do it again in his own words. How do you normally discipline him? Time out/taking privileges away/spanking? I would just be consistent with however you normally discipline him to be in line with it.

He should write the teacher a letter of apology, and if it were me I'd ground him for a full day off of something he loves (no TV, no video games, etc.), in addition to what you've already done, talking to him about why hitting anyone, especially an adult, is NEVER acceptable.

I'm coming in late to this 'conversation', but I really like your response. As a primary teacher, I see many parents struggle with discipline their child. It isn't easy. I really like how you held out later that day fom receiving 'priviledges' and writing a thank you note. Good job, Mom!